marcybelle
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2006
- Messages
- 14
Hello, all. I''m new to this board. I am a Lady In Waiting and I was feeling a little down tonight, so I googled a couple phrases having to do with not being engaged yet. I''m hoping to find some "expert" advice or at least a place to vent.
I truly have a wonderful man in my life. He is a good person, he loves me, has a wonderful family, good job, etc. We have been together for two years. This is not an extraordinary amount of time, especially because I am 23 and he is 25, so we''re still young. We have talked about marriage on many occassions. He ALWAYS initiates any conversations, jokes, comments, etc. about us getting married or engaged. He knows that I am ready and knows that I am waiting for him to ask me to marry him. I don''t bring the topic up, but if he does I let my opinion be known.
The frustrating thing is how he talks about it. If he hadn''t ever mentioned marriage in the great detail that he does, this wouldn''t be an issue. He has gone out of his way for the past nine months to say things like "when we get married...." and "if we get married...." (THAT one drives me insane. How is it that in the English language that ''when'' and ''if'' have become interchangable???) and "our wedding is going to be so fun" and all those sorts of things. Lately he''s even gone further and mentioned how funny of a conversation it would be when he asks my father for my hand.
Why would any of this be infuriating, you ask? Well for every cute, sweet, nice comment he makes about getting engaged, there is one like "we probably won''t get married" or "yea, we''re still young, we''ll probably break up in a year or so" or "yea you''re going to have to wait another year for a rock." Now these comments are all made jokingly, but i CANNOT stand them. He laughs and does it purposely just to piss me off, but part of me can''t help but think, even with all of the nice comments he makes about how much he loves me and how he wants to marry me someday, that there might be truth in the joking comments. He says things like, "well, anything CAN happen, you never know..." UGH!
I don''t know if I''m reading too far into these comments. Does anyone else have fiancees who used to always say "IF we ever get married" and laugh about it, or something similar? I really wish he didn''t bring it up all the time. He knows how badly I want to marry him, there is no need to have a discussion that just makes me anxious and sad that he hasn''t proposed yet. I''m completely content with waiting until Christmas or something if he''d just stop talking about it and getting my hopes up.
He has mentioned on several occassions that he''d like to get married in a year and a half from now. That''s great. I''d love to marry him then, but at one point does my opinion count?
Has this happened to anyone? Any advice? I''d rather not confront him with the situation because I''ve been trying my hardest not to get roped into a marriage chat. I don''t want him to feel like I''m pressuring him into marriage. I want this to be a decision he comes to on his own. (However, soon would be appreciated!)
I truly have a wonderful man in my life. He is a good person, he loves me, has a wonderful family, good job, etc. We have been together for two years. This is not an extraordinary amount of time, especially because I am 23 and he is 25, so we''re still young. We have talked about marriage on many occassions. He ALWAYS initiates any conversations, jokes, comments, etc. about us getting married or engaged. He knows that I am ready and knows that I am waiting for him to ask me to marry him. I don''t bring the topic up, but if he does I let my opinion be known.
The frustrating thing is how he talks about it. If he hadn''t ever mentioned marriage in the great detail that he does, this wouldn''t be an issue. He has gone out of his way for the past nine months to say things like "when we get married...." and "if we get married...." (THAT one drives me insane. How is it that in the English language that ''when'' and ''if'' have become interchangable???) and "our wedding is going to be so fun" and all those sorts of things. Lately he''s even gone further and mentioned how funny of a conversation it would be when he asks my father for my hand.
Why would any of this be infuriating, you ask? Well for every cute, sweet, nice comment he makes about getting engaged, there is one like "we probably won''t get married" or "yea, we''re still young, we''ll probably break up in a year or so" or "yea you''re going to have to wait another year for a rock." Now these comments are all made jokingly, but i CANNOT stand them. He laughs and does it purposely just to piss me off, but part of me can''t help but think, even with all of the nice comments he makes about how much he loves me and how he wants to marry me someday, that there might be truth in the joking comments. He says things like, "well, anything CAN happen, you never know..." UGH!
I don''t know if I''m reading too far into these comments. Does anyone else have fiancees who used to always say "IF we ever get married" and laugh about it, or something similar? I really wish he didn''t bring it up all the time. He knows how badly I want to marry him, there is no need to have a discussion that just makes me anxious and sad that he hasn''t proposed yet. I''m completely content with waiting until Christmas or something if he''d just stop talking about it and getting my hopes up.
Has this happened to anyone? Any advice? I''d rather not confront him with the situation because I''ve been trying my hardest not to get roped into a marriage chat. I don''t want him to feel like I''m pressuring him into marriage. I want this to be a decision he comes to on his own. (However, soon would be appreciated!)
Thanks all.
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