More News! and is this selfish???

[nicoleben]

So ladies, I just got back from the weekend beach getaway with my boyfriend and parents.. and well.. I thought he would have asked them for my hand during the weekend, and its a possibility that he did, but no one acted different, that i saw at least. so if he did ask them, then he did a pretty damn good job at it.. He kept on calling my mom, "mom" and the one morning said.. "how can i make u my wife if you cant cook me dippy eggs?" always right in front of my parents.. it was a joke, but seriously, i always screw those eggs up. lol.

anyways.. i was talking to him yesterday about his brother who was talking about being engaged to his current gf by christmas or new years eve. I know time shouldnt matter, however, I told my boyfriend i would be very upset if they got engaged before us, especially since they started dating way after us. I think that i sound kind of selfish in a way.. but i dont know.. maybe other peoples opinions will help us out.

I was talking to my boyfriend about it and he said i had nothing to worry about because our engagement was coming by the end of this summer (which is within a month or 2!) so i got really excited.. (my ring is already paid for, just needs to be set on the band)

and then...

his brother was texting me about how his girlfreind has the whole wedding planned out and it would be in september of 2011 and thats when ours was to be.. so i had told his brother that thats when i had planned as well. Especially since it would have been about a year since the engagement. The boyfriends entire family felt like we would be the next couple married, and I know i shouldnt be mad .. but I am!!!

I want to plan my wedding and his mother wants to be a part of it (since she never had a daughter and she lovesssss me dearly), but how is she supposed to when shes planning two weddings in 1 year? and possibly around the same time.. I just i dont know.. IM SO MAD! Maybe im pms'ing? lol

his brother also asked what colors i planned my wedding to be.. and where.. i just feel like one of the most special days of my life is going to be compleet havoc and i dont want it that way.

HELP! or COMMENTS! PLEASE!!!

 

[sctsbride09]

Woah. First, I wouldnt be planning a wedding unless I was actually engaged. Second, you cant "call dibs" on a whole month of a year for your wedding. I understand your BFs bro hasnt been dating his GF for that long, but from what I understand neither have the 2 of you? Maybe you should take a breather and enjoy this part of the relationship, the being a girlfriend and being excited about your upcoming engagement. There is nothing wrong with being excited, but when it gets to the point were you obsess about the details of a wedding that doesnt exist yet and you are getting upset about things that are not in your control, you need to chill. Sorry, but you will make yourself CRAZY, as well as your BF if you keep doing this. Try being happy for his brother and his GF instead of being jealous, everyones time comes when the time is right for them. You cant blame his brother if he is ready now. BTW, his mom will have time to help plan 2 weddings in 1 year if its important to her, sounds like it is. Just enjoy your BF and the relationship you have NOW, because once your married, you might miss this stage if you keep always rushing for whats next. Not trying to be mean, just honest. Hope everything works out for you.

 

[peach_tea_for_me]

Hi,
I think you're frustration is completely valid. It's one of those things you aren't supposed to voice that you're upset about, but you also can't help being upset about! You want your wedding to be special for you as a couple and for both your families. It becomes a circus if there are 2 weddings in the same month! Maybe you can think about moving up to next August? Or maybe your boyfriend can talk to his brother after he finally puts the ring on your finger about timing and letting you have YOUR day so you can be a good sister in law and participate stress free in HER day! At least a few months of difference would be helpful. If you don't have a particular reason for September, based on when you get engaged, move it! I don't know what your relationship is like with his brother and his gilfriend, but I don't think she mentioned September to be malicious and perhaps if she knew how much it meant to you she'd be willing to accommodate your request.
Try to just enjoy your pre-engagement time, think about the sparkly ring and let it all go. It will fall into place!

 

[fieryred33143]

Ditto the above.

Also remember that while you do get a whole year (or whatever) to plan your wedding, that does not mean that others will have to dedicate a year to help. MIL can help out with things here and there for both weddings.

I know the waiting sucks but I wouldn't worry about what his brother is going to do 6 months from now.

 

[Indylady]

Yes, yes it is.

"You can't get engaged first. I'm supposed to be engaged first!!"

Seriously?

And you want to call dibs on an entire month?

And Peachtree wants you to have "your YEAR" and "her year?"

And MIL can't help unless yours is the only wedding that year?

 

[peach_tea_for_me]

"Seriously?

And you want to call dibs on an entire month?

And Peachtree wants you to have "your YEAR" and "her year?" "

No need to get snarky! I changed that, I meant to write "your own DAY" not year. Every girl deserves their own day...wedding, shower, engagement. Of course other people will get married around your wedding day. Reality is that you need to be gracious and celebrate with them and they will celebrate with you. You can't control someone else's wedding date, but that doesn't mean you can't try to work something out so that everyone is happy in the end.

 

[nicoleben]

ok maybe what i said came out the WRONG WAY! yes, im upset that she knows we had planned the wedding then.. and I know the engagement is coming in the next month or two, i was already told, there will be a wedding and my boyfriend and i look at places and everything TOGETHER so its not just me. I am happy for them ..the brother and his gf, and i know shes not being malicious! but this is why i asked, to calm me down, no need for anyone to be HASTY... maybe i shouldnt have even written anything. I would gladly change my wedding to be before september, but i thought a good solid year of planning would be perfect since we arent "money bags".. we both only make 5 digit salaries. lol. I just think its because i kno how his family feels about her. I think shes a good person, i dont know her that well and neither does anyone else for that matter. She never comes around and is awkward to us when she is around (this is a whole other story on its own) but still.. i dont know. i guess everyone has their opinion.

 

[nicoleben]

Yes, yes it is.

"You can't get engaged first. I'm supposed to be engaged first!!"

Seriously?

And you want to call dibs on an entire month?

And Peachtree wants you to have "your YEAR" and "her year?"

And MIL can't help unless yours is the only wedding that year?

I kno i will be engaged before them, but thats not the point.. I only called "DIBS" on the month because its the same family.. two brothers.. If it was a friend or a cousin, i wouldnt care, its the same exact family. and i got upset because i know his mother could not afford to do both at the same time.. i wouldnt want her to feel privelaged that she has to do more for this one or that.. and i actually told her she doesnt have to be involved at all, but she insistsss...

im just going to delete this post, because its just one huge misunderstanding lol.

 

[amc80]

I understand that you have been looking forward to this day forever. But, until the ring is on your finger, there's no point to work yourself up over hypothetical wedding date. Now, if you were engaged and already had a date set, and then the brother chose, say, the weekend before your date to get married? That would be reason to get upset.

And you have to remember, you've had your heart set on September 2011....and so has she. You have no more right to that month than she does. Don't get me wrong, it would be great if she, after getting engaged, said "you know, I know you want to get married in September, as do I, but since you got engaged first, you can have it." That would be extremely kind of her, but she is under no obligation to do so.

Final words- don't start a family feud before you're even part of the family; it's not worth it.

 

[nicoleben]

I understand that you have been looking forward to this day forever. But, until the ring is on your finger, there's no point to work yourself up over hypothetical wedding date. Now, if you were engaged and already had a date set, and then the brother chose, say, the weekend before your date to get married? That would be reason to get upset.

And you have to remember, you've had your heart set on September 2011....and so has she. You have no more right to that month than she does. Don't get me wrong, it would be great if she, after getting engaged, said "you know, I know you want to get married in September, as do I, but since you got engaged first, you can have it." That would be extremely kind of her, but she is under no obligation to do so.

Final words- don't start a family feud before you're even part of the family; it's not worth it.

No, i totally agree with u on what u said.. From beginning to end. I am sure everything will work out fine.. and there is no reason to get myself hyped up.. however, this is what my hearts set on.. and so is his.. so, well see how everything works out! thanks for the advice and calming me down lol.

 

[amc80]

No, i totally agree with u on what u said.. From beginning to end. I am sure everything will work out fine.. and there is no reason to get myself hyped up.. however, this is what my hearts set on.. and so is his.. so, well see how everything works out! thanks for the advice and calming me down lol.

Glad I could be of help. Now just relax!

 

[beezygal]

I have a friend who probably gonna be engaged within this year or so. Last year, she told me she and her bf have a 2 year-plan. At that time, my bf wasn't ready to get married. My bf and I were arguing about this topic. I told her about it and she always rub it in my face about how they have a plan and stuff. I told her long time ago my bf took me to try out some rings because he wants to know what I like when the time comes. She called me desperate. Long story short. Now that we have a ring and my bf is ready to get married, I didn't tell her, 'cuz I don't want her to say bad things. Anyways, I told my bf I would be SOOOOOO UPSET and probably CRY for days.. if they get engaged before us. They started dating 1-2 yrs after us. If they get engaged before us and then we get engaged, I'm scared she'll say I'm "forcing" my bf to propose because she got a proposal. like I'm a copycat or something.

It's not selfish. It's just normal. I guess. Perhaps, we're the same kinda person?

 

[peach_tea_for_me]

I have a friend who probably gonna be engaged within this year or so. Last year, she told me she and her bf have a 2 year-plan. At that time, my bf wasn't ready to get married. My bf and I were arguing about this topic. I told her about it and she always rub it in my face about how they have a plan and stuff. I told her long time ago my bf took me to try out some rings because he wants to know what I like when the time comes. She called me desperate. Long story short. Now that we have a ring and my bf is ready to get married, I didn't tell her, 'cuz I don't want her to say bad things. Anyways, I told my bf I would be SOOOOOO UPSET and probably CRY for days.. if they get engaged before us. They started dating 1-2 yrs after us. If they get engaged before us and then we get engaged, I'm scared she'll say I'm "forcing" my bf to propose because she got a proposal. like I'm a copycat or something.

It's not selfish. It's just normal. I guess. Perhaps, we're the same kinda person?

What a mean friend she is! Maybe you should take your time in telling her. Why are some people so hurtful??

Nicoleben, I hope things work out for you. You should be excited about getting engaged! You might have to share your thunder with the future fam, but I understand where you're coming from. It's a sensitive issue. I'm not under the impression that you think you own the month September. It seems like you're just venting your feelings..how you handle it is where you tact comes to play. Let it out girl, it's supposed to be a safe space!

 

[RaiKai]

Yes, it is selfish, and your post honestly comes off as quite immature.

Marriage (or being engaged to be married) is not a competition (let alone a race).

 

[beezygal]

[/quote]

What a mean friend she is! Maybe you should take your time in telling her. Why are some people so hurtful??

Nicoleben, I hope things work out for you. You should be excited about getting engaged! You might have to share your thunder with the future fam, but I understand where you're coming from. It's a sensitive issue. I'm not under the impression that you think you own the month September. It seems like you're just venting your feelings..how you handle it is where you tact comes to play. Let it out girl, it's supposed to be a safe space![/quote]

well... I'll tell her when it's official.

 

[sunnyd]

What I'll never ever understand is why people think that they have a right to be engaged before others who have not been together as long as they have. Relationships don't happen at the same pace! So vent here, but you'll realize how silly you're being when you cool down, I hope.

As far as the weddings being close, no big deal, honestly. Unless it turns into some sort of competition of who's will be better... Weddings do NOT take up that much of your life that you can't attend someone else's. We moved the week before our wedding, and it was fine! You're forced to be more organized when there are other things happening around you, and what's wrong with that? You also have to remember that no one cares as much about your wedding as you. Not even your parents.

 

[nicoleben]

Yes, it is selfish, and your post honestly comes off as quite immature.

Marriage (or being engaged to be married) is not a competition (let alone a race).

I was venting! It was on my mind! i didnt make any problems with the family or ANYTHING because thats not the type of person i am.. if it coems down to it, ill change my date or "expected date" for something more personal for me. Its not a race, yes yes yes I know that... But hey, if people take things so seriously so be it! i cant change that!

 

[nicoleben]

What I'll never ever understand is why people think that they have a right to be engaged before others who have not been together as long as they have. Relationships don't happen at the same pace! So vent here, but you'll realize how silly you're being when you cool down, I hope.

As far as the weddings being close, no big deal, honestly. Unless it turns into some sort of competition of who's will be better... Weddings do NOT take up that much of your life that you can't attend someone else's. We moved the week before our wedding, and it was fine! You're forced to be more organized when there are other things happening around you, and what's wrong with that? You also have to remember that no one cares as much about your wedding as you. Not even your parents.

and i never said i had a "right" to be engaged before anyone else.. I just felt like I was hoping he would propose before them. I have known for the past 3 months the engagement between my boyfriend and i was coming up very very very very soon! Wuld i be upset if they engaged before us, yes, however, i know thats not even happening! I was mostly worried about the same month time frame of the weddings happening.

If they want to be engaged, then im happy for them.. If the weddings end up in the same time, or roughly the same time, i would change mine just for the sake of keeping me sane. Im not saying this is MY month, but its when i expected to be married.

There is NOOOO competition of whose wedding is better. I dont plan on having a huge wedding. i was small, simple, sweet. Thats it.

this stupid post. jeesh

 

[sunnyd]

What I'll never ever understand is why people think that they have a right to be engaged before others who have not been together as long as they have. Relationships don't happen at the same pace! So vent here, but you'll realize how silly you're being when you cool down, I hope.

As far as the weddings being close, no big deal, honestly. Unless it turns into some sort of competition of who's will be better... Weddings do NOT take up that much of your life that you can't attend someone else's. We moved the week before our wedding, and it was fine! You're forced to be more organized when there are other things happening around you, and what's wrong with that? You also have to remember that no one cares as much about your wedding as you. Not even your parents.

and i never said i had a "right" to be engaged before anyone else.. I just felt like I was hoping he would propose before them. I have known for the past 3 months the engagement between my boyfriend and i was coming up very very very very soon! Wuld i be upset if they engaged before us, yes, however, i know thats not even happening! I was mostly worried about the same month time frame of the weddings happening.

If they want to be engaged, then im happy for them.. If the weddings end up in the same time, or roughly the same time, i would change mine just for the sake of keeping me sane. Im not saying this is MY month, but its when i expected to be married.

There is NOOOO competition of whose wedding is better. I dont plan on having a huge wedding. i was small, simple, sweet. Thats it.

this stupid post. jeesh

But if you're going to be upset if they get engaged before you because you've been dating for much longer, that's the same thing.

 

[amc80]

I have a friend who probably gonna be engaged within this year or so. Last year, she told me she and her bf have a 2 year-plan. At that time, my bf wasn't ready to get married. My bf and I were arguing about this topic. I told her about it and she always rub it in my face about how they have a plan and stuff. I told her long time ago my bf took me to try out some rings because he wants to know what I like when the time comes. She called me desperate. Long story short. Now that we have a ring and my bf is ready to get married, I didn't tell her, 'cuz I don't want her to say bad things. Anyways, I told my bf I would be SOOOOOO UPSET and probably CRY for days.. if they get engaged before us. They started dating 1-2 yrs after us. If they get engaged before us and then we get engaged, I'm scared she'll say I'm "forcing" my bf to propose because she got a proposal. like I'm a copycat or something.

It's not selfish. It's just normal. I guess. Perhaps, we're the same kinda person?

Why are you friends with someone like this? They obviously aren't being a good friend to you. And more do, why would you care if they got engaged first? Don't waste your energy on competition with this "friend."

 

[beezygal]

I have a friend who probably gonna be engaged within this year or so. Last year, she told me she and her bf have a 2 year-plan. At that time, my bf wasn't ready to get married. My bf and I were arguing about this topic. I told her about it and she always rub it in my face about how they have a plan and stuff. I told her long time ago my bf took me to try out some rings because he wants to know what I like when the time comes. She called me desperate. Long story short. Now that we have a ring and my bf is ready to get married, I didn't tell her, 'cuz I don't want her to say bad things. Anyways, I told my bf I would be SOOOOOO UPSET and probably CRY for days.. if they get engaged before us. They started dating 1-2 yrs after us. If they get engaged before us and then we get engaged, I'm scared she'll say I'm "forcing" my bf to propose because she got a proposal. like I'm a copycat or something.

It's not selfish. It's just normal. I guess. Perhaps, we're the same kinda person?

Why are you friends with someone like this? They obviously aren't being a good friend to you. And more do, why would you care if they got engaged first? Don't waste your energy on competition with this "friend."

Well, she always has bad temper. Other friends are "scared' of her. We try not to piss her off. She gets stressed out and upset very easily. Since we've all known each other for so long, we just don't want to make things too nasty. She's like that.. she'll never change.

I didn't want to be in a competition with her. She makes it like a competition. She called me desperate and that they are going to get married. I was so upset. I really thought she was my good friend. She's even like "oh well.. I'm sorry, but when I get married, you won't be my maid of honor. I want J to be." I never said I want to be her moh. Then she said... "well... when you get married, I'll be your maid of honor FOR SURE..." I was speechleess. Before, I would talk to her when I have problems with my bf. She'll just say stuff like.. "well.. I don't think you guys are right for each other too... he's not good for you." So, I just stop telling her about my relationship with her. I just treat her as a simple friend. Just gather for dinner with everyone else every once in awhile.

 

[PrincessNatalie]

My best friend got engaged in October last year and announced the wedding for September this year, then her FIs brother proposed to his girlfriend 3 weeks later (with no ring) and they announced the wedding for May this year (engaged after + married before, L felt like they were stealing her thunder) she held a grudge for a couple of months, and it was all going very badly. But then one day she started talking to her SIL 2 be and started sharing wedding plans and actually started to enjoy having someone to share planning a wedding with who was also planning their own wedding. It has turned out to be lovely and SIL 2 be got married in may and it was wonderful.

(Once you are actually engaged) If you think about it in a way that nothing can “ruin” your wedding day as long as you are marring your FF then you are going to enjoy the experience of planning your wedding every single day, and your wedding can be nothing but perfect.

Also I have a laugh when the people around us “lap us” (start dating after, get engaged before) but it doesn’t upset or worry me, just really, who cares what other people are doing? Not me!

Beezygirl – that girl who called you desperate is not your friend. Also a friend would never imply that you were forcing your boyfriend to propose! (unless you actually had and that would probably be an intervention not a looking down their nose kind of thing).

 

[amc80]

Well, she always has bad temper. Other friends are "scared' of her. We try not to piss her off. She gets stressed out and upset very easily. Since we've all known each other for so long, we just don't want to make things too nasty. She's like that.. she'll never change.

I didn't want to be in a competition with her. She makes it like a competition. She called me desperate and that they are going to get married. I was so upset. I really thought she was my good friend. She's even like "oh well.. I'm sorry, but when I get married, you won't be my maid of honor. I want J to be." I never said I want to be her moh. Then she said... "well... when you get married, I'll be your maid of honor FOR SURE..." I was speechleess. Before, I would talk to her when I have problems with my bf. She'll just say stuff like.. "well.. I don't think you guys are right for each other too... he's not good for you." So, I just stop telling her about my relationship with her. I just treat her as a simple friend. Just gather for dinner with everyone else every once in awhile.

I had a friend who was drama, drama, drama. We got along fairly well, but there was just always something. I (along with other mutual friends) felt like we were walking on eggshells all the time, because we never knew what would set her off. I finally decided that her drama was causing too much stress in my life, and I backed out of the relationship. I didn't confront her or anything, or even discuss it with her. I just slowly stopped hanging out as much, and it sort of worked itself out.

Look at it like this- if you met her today, would you be friends with her? Past friendship doesn't equal a lifetime obligation, especially when she causes unneeded stress in your life.

 

[beezygal]

Well, she always has bad temper. Other friends are "scared' of her. We try not to piss her off. She gets stressed out and upset very easily. Since we've all known each other for so long, we just don't want to make things too nasty. She's like that.. she'll never change.

I didn't want to be in a competition with her. She makes it like a competition. She called me desperate and that they are going to get married. I was so upset. I really thought she was my good friend. She's even like "oh well.. I'm sorry, but when I get married, you won't be my maid of honor. I want J to be." I never said I want to be her moh. Then she said... "well... when you get married, I'll be your maid of honor FOR SURE..." I was speechleess. Before, I would talk to her when I have problems with my bf. She'll just say stuff like.. "well.. I don't think you guys are right for each other too... he's not good for you." So, I just stop telling her about my relationship with her. I just treat her as a simple friend. Just gather for dinner with everyone else every once in awhile.

I had a friend who was drama, drama, drama. We got along fairly well, but there was just always something. I (along with other mutual friends) felt like we were walking on eggshells all the time, because we never knew what would set her off. I finally decided that her drama was causing too much stress in my life, and I backed out of the relationship. I didn't confront her or anything, or even discuss it with her. I just slowly stopped hanging out as much, and it sort of worked itself out.

Look at it like this- if you met her today, would you be friends with her? Past friendship doesn't equal a lifetime obligation, especially when she causes unneeded stress in your life.

That is exactly what me and friends are doing. The thing is sometimes you just say something normal and she just get pissed. One time, I asked her what time is dinner... then I asked her when is dinner.... she was so pissed and was like... "stop asking me over and over again, I DON'T KNOW" I was thinking "I just asked twice now." We were on msn at the time. I was so pissed, so I sent her a msg "Fine" and went offline. As soon as I was online again, she left me a long message and lecture me. I'm like... What the...

 

[Indylady]

"Seriously?

And you want to call dibs on an entire month?

And Peachtree wants you to have "your YEAR" and "her year?" "

No need to get snarky! I changed that, I meant to write "your own DAY" not year. Every girl deserves their own day...wedding, shower, engagement. Of course other people will get married around your wedding day. Reality is that you need to be gracious and celebrate with them and they will celebrate with you. You can't control someone else's wedding date, but that doesn't mean you can't try to work something out so that everyone is happy in the end.

Freudian slip maybe?

You said that every girl deserves their own day, and followed it up with 3 seperate events, which usually take place on 3 seperate days as well.

 

[princesss]

Man, I wish I could read more than a paragraph and a half of anybody's post (and can't read anything that anybody said if they quoted somebody else).

Basically, yes, it's selfish. This girl is your potential sister in law, and you want your first act as a member of the family to be to imply that you have more of a right to get married than they do, and ban her from a whole month of potential dates? This is a relationship you're going to have for the rest of your life - why start it on such negative footing? This is somebody just as eager as you are to join your BF's family. Just think of how fun it would be to plan your weddings together - and how wonderful for the family to see two brothers so happy at once!

Add me to the list of people shocked by the "I deserve this more than her because she hasn't been with her BF as long as I have" theme that I see running through LIW at times. This is not a race or a competition, the first person to the altar doesn't get a prize. Some people know early and go for it, others take a more meandering path towards the altar. It doesn't matter how it happens, one is no more valid than the other.

 

[lilyfoot]

Add me to the list of people shocked by the "I deserve this more than her because she hasn't been with her BF as long as I have" theme that I see running through LIW at times. This is not a race or a competition, the first person to the altar doesn't get a prize. Some people know early and go for it, others take a more meandering path towards the altar. It doesn't matter how it happens, one is no more valid than the other.

Huge, huge, huge ditto.

 

[nicoleben]

Man, I wish I could read more than a paragraph and a half of anybody's post (and can't read anything that anybody said if they quoted somebody else).

Basically, yes, it's selfish. This girl is your potential sister in law, and you want your first act as a member of the family to be to imply that you have more of a right to get married than they do, and ban her from a whole month of potential dates? This is a relationship you're going to have for the rest of your life - why start it on such negative footing? This is somebody just as eager as you are to join your BF's family. Just think of how fun it would be to plan your weddings together - and how wonderful for the family to see two brothers so happy at once!

Add me to the list of people shocked by the "I deserve this more than her because she hasn't been with her BF as long as I have" theme that I see running through LIW at times. This is not a race or a competition, the first person to the altar doesn't get a prize. Some people know early and go for it, others take a more meandering path towards the altar. It doesn't matter how it happens, one is no more valid than the other.

I think the whole post got off in the totally wrong way. Me and my potential sister in law have a good relationship, ive never even brought this to her attention and dont plan on doing that.. If i tend to have my wedding date set for september, ill set it for september, if she decides she wants hers in september i would change mine just so theres no problems! i am not a prolem started, i was just venting my feelings on here and I thought i could get some good advice from the ladies, to calm me down and get my head straight, but everyone seems to be debbie downers. Thats fine. Everyone thinks i am trying to say "i want my wedding first, i have to be first, and my wedding has to be better than hers, and this isnt fair!!" THATS NOT AT ALL WHAT I WAS SAYING!.. Shes a sweet person, and we both never cause any problems, we actually are happy for each other.. and i also didnt say hers couldnt be "this year" for whoever said that. That would just be totally wrong on my part. Im actually more ticked off that the post made such an uproar haha.

 

[princesss]

Nicoleben, like I said, I can't see past a paragraph and a half. Would you mind just cutting out the quote or reposting your response? I can't see what you said.

 

[Clairitek]

Princesss, this is what she said:

"I think the whole post got off in the totally wrong way. Me and my potential sister in law have a good relationship, ive never even brought this to her attention and dont plan on doing that.. If i tend to have my wedding date set for september, ill set it for september, if she decides she wants hers in september i would change mine just so theres no problems! i am not a prolem started, i was just venting my feelings on here and I thought i could get some good advice from the ladies, to calm me down and get my head straight, but everyone seems to be debbie downers. Thats fine. Everyone thinks i am trying to say "i want my wedding first, i have to be first, and my wedding has to be better than hers, and this isnt fair!!" THATS NOT AT ALL WHAT I WAS SAYING!.. Shes a sweet person, and we both never cause any problems, we actually are happy for each other.. and i also didnt say hers couldnt be "this year" for whoever said that. That would just be totally wrong on my part. Im actually more ticked off that the post made such an uproar haha. "