LIW #101 Intro

[verypatientlywaiting]

Hi everyone! I''m new here and so I guess an introduction is in order. I''m 30 & my b/f is 31. I''ve been with him for a little over 5 years; 2 & 1/2 of those years were spent as a long distance relationship--he was in Australia for work and I was here in the US. We visited eachother throughout that time but it was really tough & I wouldn''t recommend it to anyone. Having gone through that has made us appreciate eachother more and realize that we cannot live without eachother.

We started talking about marriage & having kids about 2 months after we started dating--I know, quick, but it just felt right & exciting. We had been friends for about 6 months before dating so we got to know eachother pretty well. We dated a year before he left for Australia so we were already in love when he left & we knew that we would eventually get married when he got back--which will be 2 years this May. So, here I am waiting for the proposal. I never would''ve thought that I''d be waiting this long especially considering how often we''d talk about getting married. What''s funny (& kinda weird) is that we haven''t really spoken about marriage or the future for the past 7 or 8 months. I kinda think we''re regressing because of this but all of my friends insist that he probably doesn''t want to bring up the subject because he has something planned & wants me to be completely suprised. I''ve never given him a timeline as to when we''d get engaged/married but am thinking that I will soon just to make sure we''re on the same page.
Has anyone experienced this before--actively talking about the future throughout the relationship & then stopping completely? I would appreciate any input.

 

[Lauren8211]

Hi!

I don't have any experience with your particular situation, but I just wanted to say welcome!

 

[verypatientlywaiting]

Thanks! This forum is so great because it makes you realize that you''re not alone on your quest for the e-ring!

 

[Luckyeshe]

Welcome to the forum!!! May your stay be short and sweet!!!

I too was in a long distance relationship with FI. I live in Fl and he''s in WA. We can''t be any further than how we are and still be in the continental US, we know how you feel! Anyways, don''t think of it as regressing. He may be planning a surprise and just doesn''t want you to catch on! Good luck!!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Welcome! I''m married now, but DH and I dated for almost 8 years before we got engaged. We got married 6 weeks later

 

[verypatientlywaiting]

Thank you for the kind words! My b/f took me out to eat on Valentine''s Day & made a couple of jokes about us getting married & how it will have to be an all meat blowout wedding (I''m a vegan & would like at least a 1/2 vegan-1/2 meat wedding)....so I took this as a really good sign!

 

[FutureMrsMRS]

Hi!!

I''ve just joined the board as well, and requested to be added to LIW list, so I''m in your predicament

We were long distance, by only around 400 miles but it really sucked.

We would ALWAYS talk about the future and "when" we get married and "when" I "sign those papers" Then it stopped. I also thought we regressed and that he was having doubts. So last night when he told me of his plan (see my intro) he told me that he was trying to put me off the trail. He wanted me to be completely surprised.

So, hopefully that''s what it is!

 

[verypatientlywaiting]

Hi & welcome FutureMrsMrs!
Thanks...yeah, my friends keep telling me this as well...so we will see.

 

[AustenNut]

Don''t have any advice about your situation but I just wanted to tell you welcome!

 

[MayFlowers]

I don''t have any advice, but I wanted to say welcome to LIW!!

 

[verypatientlywaiting]

Hi! Thanks!

 

[dinamit]

Hi and welcome!

I can''t say that I''ve been in this situation, but the first thing that came to my head was that he must be saving for a ring, and just doesn''t want to go there until he has enough saved. I guess it''s kind of on the same lines as everyone else is saying. I also agree that what he said on Valentine''s is a good sign; so clearly marriage is still on his mind and he probably just let that one slip.

I would be very excited...

...however, maybe you should have some sort of an internal timeline, and if things don''t shift along, you could have the talk. Only you can tell if your boyfriend would be upset by this, or just happily reassure you.

What was he like when he planned other surprises?

dinamit

 

[verypatientlywaiting]

Hi Dinamit! Thanks for the words of encouragement! LOL, I''ve actually had an internal timeline going on for the past year or so, so I''m actually getting kinda antsy...I think I might have a casual talk with him soon to make sure we''re on the same page.
He usually does try to throw me off course when he plans a surprise. Like for this past Valentine''s Day, he made it seem as though we wouldn''t be doing anything special (which annoyed me a little) but he actually surprised me by taking me out to dinner at a really nice vegan restaurant in NYC. He''s a romantic & thoughtful guy so I''m really hoping he''s planning something...BUT he just recently moved into his own place so he suddenly has a mortgage to deal...so my wait might be a little longer than what I had in mind.