krispi
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2007
- Messages
- 323
I''ve been lurking here for a while, so I figured I might as well come out of hiding and introduce myself.
I''ve been dating my wonderful boyfriend for just over a year (we had our anniv. 2 months ago). I''ve never posted before, because unlike most people on this site we''re really not ready to take the next step and haven''t talked about it much at all. We had a rough patch in our relationship around the 6 month mark where we really had to decide if we truly wanted to be together, but ever since we worked out those issues, things have been smooth sailing. It really is the best relationship I''ve ever been in. He''s not overly demonstrative or romantic (although he does enough so that I know how he feels), but there really is no drama at all between us. I''ve never had that kind of relationship before, and it''s so refreshing!
The thing is, I know he''s not ready to think about marriage yet. He just recently graduated with his MBA, and he is completely focused right now on paying off all the debt he racked up during school. He''s the type of person who is totally committed to something once he puts his mind to it, so right now he is in full-force debt mode. He got a second job on the weekends and moved back in with his parents for a while to cut out his expenses. All my friends (and even some of his family) have asked if he''s really saving for a ring, but I know he''s not. He really does feel like he needs to get his debt cleared up before he can think of anything beyond that. I understand, and I''m proud of him for being so committed to his goals, and I don''t want to add any pressure or stress to what he already places on himself by pushing the issue of the future right now.
We have generically stated that we really wanted each other to be "the one" but that''s about as serious as we have talked. I''m to the point where if he asked today, I''d jump up and down and say yes and start planning right away. But I''m not sure exactly where he''s at. I have to imagine that he''s thought about it some, especially since one of his close friends just got engaged and was talking to him about the process. But like I said, I totally respect his efforts to get himself in a good place financially, and I want to wait until he''s made good progress on that goal before I press the issue. Plus, we''ve only been together a year, so it''s not like it''s been all that long. Still, I can''t wait to be married and live together and start a family. I''ve never been much of one for patience!! And the fact that I''m 29 and he''s 30 (about to be 31) don''t help matters - I''d like to have kids in the next few years. I figure I''ll give things 6 months and see where we are. He thinks he''ll have a lot of the debt taken care of by then. So I don''t think he''d feel as stressed out if I started asking lots of questions about our future and timelines as such. (Besides, I know what he''d say if I tried to talk to him now anyway - that he doesn''t know and it depends on him getting the debt paid.) In the meantime, it''s just so hard to wait! So I figured I could always share those frustrations here, right??
I''ve been dating my wonderful boyfriend for just over a year (we had our anniv. 2 months ago). I''ve never posted before, because unlike most people on this site we''re really not ready to take the next step and haven''t talked about it much at all. We had a rough patch in our relationship around the 6 month mark where we really had to decide if we truly wanted to be together, but ever since we worked out those issues, things have been smooth sailing. It really is the best relationship I''ve ever been in. He''s not overly demonstrative or romantic (although he does enough so that I know how he feels), but there really is no drama at all between us. I''ve never had that kind of relationship before, and it''s so refreshing!
The thing is, I know he''s not ready to think about marriage yet. He just recently graduated with his MBA, and he is completely focused right now on paying off all the debt he racked up during school. He''s the type of person who is totally committed to something once he puts his mind to it, so right now he is in full-force debt mode. He got a second job on the weekends and moved back in with his parents for a while to cut out his expenses. All my friends (and even some of his family) have asked if he''s really saving for a ring, but I know he''s not. He really does feel like he needs to get his debt cleared up before he can think of anything beyond that. I understand, and I''m proud of him for being so committed to his goals, and I don''t want to add any pressure or stress to what he already places on himself by pushing the issue of the future right now.
We have generically stated that we really wanted each other to be "the one" but that''s about as serious as we have talked. I''m to the point where if he asked today, I''d jump up and down and say yes and start planning right away. But I''m not sure exactly where he''s at. I have to imagine that he''s thought about it some, especially since one of his close friends just got engaged and was talking to him about the process. But like I said, I totally respect his efforts to get himself in a good place financially, and I want to wait until he''s made good progress on that goal before I press the issue. Plus, we''ve only been together a year, so it''s not like it''s been all that long. Still, I can''t wait to be married and live together and start a family. I''ve never been much of one for patience!! And the fact that I''m 29 and he''s 30 (about to be 31) don''t help matters - I''d like to have kids in the next few years. I figure I''ll give things 6 months and see where we are. He thinks he''ll have a lot of the debt taken care of by then. So I don''t think he''d feel as stressed out if I started asking lots of questions about our future and timelines as such. (Besides, I know what he''d say if I tried to talk to him now anyway - that he doesn''t know and it depends on him getting the debt paid.) In the meantime, it''s just so hard to wait! So I figured I could always share those frustrations here, right??
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