I know we''ve had threads about this before...

[Still_Waiting]

but, how much do you let yourself plan wedding stuff?

It''s been a little while since I''ve seen one of these threads, and I''ve had a recent renewed interest in dreaming so hopefully a few of you will indulge me here!

I didn''t look at a SINGLE thing (no dresses, no locations, NOTHING!) until we had a serious talk...that was last summer when we talking about getting married this summer. Obviously, our plans have been thwarted...primarily due to the economy...but I dove into planning head-first since I wasn''t working at the time. The funny thing is, we''ll be having a destination wedding, so there really isn''t nearly as much to plan. I guess it''s all the day-dreaming that I absolutely love.

So, do you think planning makes your LIW worse, or do you think it helps you during the agony of waiting?
What sorts of things do you have planned already?

 

[CurlySue]

I do my pre-planning secretly... no one knows how many dresses, venues, etc. I''ve looked at. There are times when it makes me excited, but there are other times when the fact that I KNOW it''s all premature makes me a bit anxious.

 

[Lauren8211]

The only things I planned were ones that came up randomly in front of me and FF.

Our reception venue... we fell in love with and said probably a year ago that we''d have our reception there.

Our photog was the same thing.

I looked at dresses, but that was about it. I found the more I planned, the worse LIWness was, and the less I had to look forward to as a bride.

 

[Still_Waiting]

Date: 6/11/2009 11:18:50 AM
Author: elledizzy5
The only things I planned were ones that came up randomly in front of me and FF.

Our reception venue... we fell in love with and said probably a year ago that we''d have our reception there.

Our photog was the same thing.

I looked at dresses, but that was about it. I found the more I planned, the worse LIWness was, and the less I had to look forward to as a bride.

That''s what I''m afraid of sometimes, but I think for me, since I''m such a planner-type, I''ll still have plenty to work on and look forward to!

 

[Still_Waiting]

Date: 6/11/2009 11:13:32 AM
Author: CurlySue
I do my pre-planning secretly... no one knows how many dresses, venues, etc. I''ve looked at. There are times when it makes me excited, but there are other times when the fact that I KNOW it''s all premature makes me a bit anxious.

Me, too! Except SO was the one who suggested our venue. Of course, I thoroughly researched it. All he knows about it is what he''s gotten second-hand from me! LOL Well, and of course I showed him pictures!

 

[suchende]

Well, I change my mind too much for anything to stay the same by the time we''re actually ready anyway, so I don''t think it could possibly hurt!

Although actually my boyfriend apparently decided a long time ago where he wants to get married, so I guess my day-dreaming of Manhattan ballrooms is for naught.

 

[princesss]

I put together inspiration boards for fun, but it''s never a serious "This is what I want for my wedding." I like weddings and how they all come together, and both of my BFFs are dating the people they mean to marry, so I want to be prepared if they ask for any help!

I really could care less what time of the year we get married, so I figure when we''re ready, he''ll propose when he wants to, and we can plan the wedding for 4-6 months from then. Hopefully a small destination wedding, but who knows. We''ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

 

[Jessie702]

I know, ive played plan things, but there are some things i know i want for sure, like my colors. Watermelon and Mint.....i like pink and so does C, not in a gay way. I have also secertly looked at venues online and their prices, BUT i have a good reason for it. Im trying to decide how many people might cost what, since im not going to paying for most of the cost. Im lucky, because my mom is. I have also looked at flowers, but than again i love flowers. See i have a reason for all of this madness. LoL...i guess you could kind of say ive pre-planned everything. But if C doesnt like something, than i will change it, because as much as this is my wedding its his also, even though this wont be the first time he has been married. Even though i know if i want something bad, he will cave because he knows how special and meaningful this is for me. I guess i got a good one

...i swear by the time he ask, all i will have to do is go pick out dresses, tux and pay for things. But my sister also did it like that. It was 6 weeks from "will you marry me" to "i do".....we dont mess around

 

[lilmissrugger]

*guilty look* I am so guilty of pre-planning-- I''m a wedding show addict, so I watch them all the time, and then I''ll find ideas, and then...well, you get the picture.

However, a game my FF and I like to play is "let''s plan!"- we commute to work (we work at a restaurant over the summer that''s by our school, and we have an hour drive from both of our houses) and so on the way, we talk about what we want, who we want there, what kind of food, etc. He even does have the bringing it up, so I don''t feel totally insane.

Part of me goes crazy when we talk about it, because I don''t have the bling, but knowing that he''s as invested in planning as I am and as excited about the wedding helps, too, because I know he really means it.

It''s definitely a double edged sword-- but, I love it, so I don''t forsee myself stopping anytime soon- plus, this is all speculation. Once the proposal actually happens, it''ll become so much more real, so I think it''ll feel different.

 

[Still_Waiting]

Date: 6/11/2009 12:11:04 PM
Author: Jessie702
I know, ive played plan things, but there are some things i know i want for sure, like my colors. Watermelon and Mint.....i like pink and so does C, not in a gay way. I have also secertly looked at venues online and their prices, BUT i have a good reason for it. Im trying to decide how many people might cost what, since im not going to paying for most of the cost. Im lucky, because my mom is. I have also looked at flowers, but than again i love flowers. See i have a reason for all of this madness. LoL...i guess you could kind of say ive pre-planned everything. But if C doesnt like something, than i will change it, because as much as this is my wedding its his also, even though this wont be the first time he has been married. Even though i know if i want something bad, he will cave because he knows how special and meaningful this is for me. I guess i got a good one

...i swear by the time he ask, all i will have to do is go pick out dresses, tux and pay for things. But my sister also did it like that. It was 6 weeks from ''will you marry me'' to ''i do''.....we dont mess around

Ha! I love how you''re able to rationalize everything! So can I!!!

 

[Still_Waiting]

Date: 6/11/2009 11:42:37 AM
Author: suchende
Well, I change my mind too much for anything to stay the same by the time we''re actually ready anyway, so I don''t think it could possibly hurt!

Although actually my boyfriend apparently decided a long time ago where he wants to get married, so I guess my day-dreaming of Manhattan ballrooms is for naught.

My feelings, exactly!

 

[Still_Waiting]

princess -- I think that''s just good sense! LOL If you''ve never checked out Best Destination Wedding Forum, it''s FANTASTIC for DWs!

lilmissrugger -- If I had cable, I KNOW I''d be addicted to all those wedding shows too. It probably wouldn''t help my LIW though! But I LOVE how into the planning your SO is too. That''s gotta make you feel pretty good...knowing how into he is too!

 

[elation]

I wouldn''t say it has ever made me miserable, but nonetheless I feel like there''s no point because there is officially nothing to plan for yet. Hence, I''m not technically ''allowed'' to.

But it doesn''t stop me from poking around and gathering inspirations! It''s all in a folder I labelled "I have a syndrome..."

And of course I can''t stop perusing E-Ring possibilities even though I''ve already given enough information to the boy!

 

[lilmissrugger]

Still_Waiting-- those shows are literally addictive- and they show one right after another, so you''ll start watching, and then you''re hooked. And they have so many good ideas and tips, if you watch for them! They''ve definitely helped me get a feel on what I want for a wedding, and alot of the shows have also helped show me cheap ways to go about it

I also do feel lucky that my FF is so involved and excited- it definitely makes it more fun- and we have sweet bonding time, joking about what guest we think would complain about what, how certain inlaws would get along together, etc. Also, there''s no real pressure yet because we don''t have to set anything in stone yet! It''s just good, plain ol'' fun

 

[princesss]

Date: 6/11/2009 1:04:27 PM
Author: elation
I wouldn''t say it has ever made me miserable, but nonetheless I feel like there''s no point because there is officially nothing to plan for yet. Hence, I''m not technically ''allowed'' to.

But it doesn''t stop me from poking around and gathering inspirations! It''s all in a folder I labelled ''I have a syndrome...''

And of course I can''t stop perusing E-Ring possibilities even though I''ve already given enough information to the boy!

Mine is called "Things I Shouldn''t Be Looking At." To be fair, though, most of the pictures were because of threads on PS. Favourite dress, favourite ring, and so on.

 

[misskitty]

I''m not pre-planning. The most I''ve really done is flip through a copy of Martha Stewart Weddings, and that''s where I cut off.

There just doesn''t seem to be a point -- I won''t know until we''re engaged when or where the wedding will take place, what our budget is, etc, and if I have my way, we''ll elope and that''ll take minimal planning.

 

[FroggyMont]

I am definitely pre-planning! He knows some ideas that I have, but really has no idea how much I am really looking into stuff. Right now, only person I talk to about it all is my Mom. My Mom and I have always been really close, but right now I love that the whole planning process is just between us. I haven''t told my friends that we have looked at rings back in March and that I know I will have my ring my November, that is all he will tell me! I just don''t want all my friends asking, more then they already do, for every big occasion if I think that he is going to pop the question.

 

[inloveinpa]

I also pre-plan in secret....I think it would drive my BF nuts if he knew how often I look at sites, dresses, flowers, wedding bands...lol.


Some days it is fun, other days, it makes me wish I could really be planning even more, which of course would mean I would have something sparkly on my left ring finger....

 

[rialaine]

I voted that "sometimes it helps & sometimes it makes me misreable"

I try not to go too deep into the planning bc there are times I begin to think "Ok your engagement is like a year away & your wedding possibly 2 years away. All of this stuff will change by the time you get married. Why even bother? Its forever & a day away, stop getting all excited"

And then there are some times when it actually puts a smile on my face.

It really depends on how my day is going. But lately I''ve been doing a lot less looking just to stay on the safe side & not get disappointed.

 

[Still_Waiting]

You know, it''s really kind of a strange thing for me to be doing so much research. I mean, I do LOVE to plan things, but I''ve always thought it''s super silly to be looking at stuff before there''s a ring on your finger. I never thought I''d be one of THOSE girls. Okay, I''ll admit it, I even used to MAKE FUN of those girls! But, I guess like one PSer''s posts always say, "When you''ve found the one you want to marry, you want it to begin right away!" - or something like that. I truly think that''s what it is for me. I just can''t wait to be able to tell people my SO is my husband, and we''re committed in the way only marriage can commit two people (no offense to anyone out there who disagrees with that!).

Thanks for helping me feel not alone, gals!

 

[sammyj]

Wow...I was 1 of 2 people that voted that pre-planning helped to keep me preoccupied!

I did everything. I made bridal canvasses, put together a 10-page word document of pics from the internet, saved links to wedding sites, etc. I did this all in secret and I even saved my links under code names! I needed an outlet to release my LIW anxiety and I may have driven my FI insane if I wasn't able to slip into my little pre-planning dream world.

I definitely don't think this took away from any of my actual planning as I have changed my mind about almost everything (except the dress) and my vision has shifted slightly. I wouldn't be surprised if I continued to look at wedding stuff AFTER getting married because there's just so much beautiful stuff to look at! I don't know...maybe it is a syndrome (elation, I like that!)??

 

[rialaine]

Princess-- I LOVE that your folder is labeled "Things I shouldn''t be looking at" hahaha! Thats great. Mine is currently labeled "The Wedding" but I think I''m gonna steal your name.

 

[princesss]

Steal away! It makes me giggle every time I see it.

 

[Squirrly]

lol actually i''m becoming much more stressed due to wedding planning than i was when i was just waiting for the ring. M and i are already planning since we want to get married next may, we''re having a Catholic wedding (and i''m not the catholic one, good thing half my family is so the church/priest were easy choices) and if the military made getting married easy the world would probably be ending.
i''m lucky one of my friends is in town for the summer so i have someone to help keep me sane through all this (there''s only so much sanity saving M can do over the phone at this point

)

 

[Bjedifish]

I am OBSESSED with looking at dresses and stuff! I already know my wedding colors (Navy blue and hot pink!), but I ''TRY'' not to get carried away since I know how exciting it will be when it''s "for real". Here''s hoping we all don''t have to wait too long for the real deal!

 

[sunnyd]

Ahhh I remember the first wedding mag I brought home. It was 10 months before we got engaged, I think? I hid it, intending to keep it a secret. Then that afternoon I thought, screw it. FI was watching tv, I brought it down and said, "Don''t judge me!"

He rolled his eyes. LOL! I think it made things much easier once we were engaged, because I already knew how much and who and what for a lot of stuff.

 

[Still_Waiting]

Date: 6/11/2009 5:37:56 PM
Author: sunnyd
Ahhh I remember the first wedding mag I brought home. It was 10 months before we got engaged, I think? I hid it, intending to keep it a secret. Then that afternoon I thought, screw it. FI was watching tv, I brought it down and said, ''Don''t judge me!''

He rolled his eyes. LOL! I think it made things much easier once we were engaged, because I already knew how much and who and what for a lot of stuff.

YES! Now, THAT''S what I want to hear!!! *giggle*

 

[Dreamgirl]

haha! I was surprised to see that most everyone voted the same as me. It depends on the day for sure! I have a collection on my computer going of everything ranging from rings-dresses-flowers-cakes-a photographer whom I adore and I check up on his blog often! lol I believe I started my collection in ''07. It seems to get worse around summer time. So because it''s now wedding season, my "pre-planning" has picked up a bit

And again, it depends on the day. Sometimes it lifts my spirits and I feel really happy looking and other times it makes me sad because I know it isn''t going to happen just quite yet and it gets me down...

Great thread Still_Waiting! I''ve been missing fun threads like these!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 6/11/2009 11:21:25 AM
Author: Still_Waiting

Date: 6/11/2009 11:18:50 AM
Author: elledizzy5
I looked at dresses, but that was about it. I found the more I planned, the worse LIWness was, and the less I had to look forward to as a bride.

That''s what I''m afraid of sometimes, but I think for me, since I''m such a planner-type, I''ll still have plenty to work on and look forward to!

Ditto to that Still_Waiting! Sometimes I find myself thinking "I wonder if all this wedding browsing I do only will damper everything once I''m actually planning a wedding. But just like you, I am SUCH a planner that I only HOPE that this somehow makes everything easier for me once I am actually planning my wedding. Maybe I''ll be able to enjoy being engaged because I''ll already have so much stuff already figured out...

I certainly don''t know of the tiny little details that go along with wedding planning. Sometimes it seems a bit insane! At least I''ll have that to plan! But on the other hand, nothing that I''ve "pre-planned" is set in stone or anything. It could ALL change by the time I get married!

 

[Dreamgirl]

One last thing.....do any of you look for venues? I''ve got a few that I like in our area but I have my heart set on one in particular! I mean I litteraly WANT this certain venue. FF and I have actually driven up to it TWICE but both times there were weddings going on so we didn''t ever get out of the car. He really likes it too. It''s just totally us. But I''m pretty guilty of googling the venue and finding photos and collecting those as well!

Gosh, I''ve got so many now but I LOVE finding more!