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Earrings are cool....
How long have you guys been together? Sometimes after having fights it sets my thinking back to maybe we should wait longer and work everything out first also. We fight about the most stupid stuff a lot of the time. We are more comfortable a year and a half later and it''s just I guess being more comfortable with one another to speak what''s on our mind. My engagement plans are coming very soon and I''ve told him that he has some security issues that need to be worked out. The fights don''t make me not want to be with him, I feel that we''ll always be together, which is probably the same for you too. |
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Yes, I definately feel we should/are going to be together. It was our first argument, so it's always a little odd afterwards.
We have been together 8 months now. We are no where near ready, and it wasn't just the argument. We both just need more time. Christmas seemed so far away back in the fall when we first started talking about getting married *someday*. But Christmas came soon, and neither of us are ready. My issues are security too. UGH! It's so hard to not be insecure. |
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if you''ve only had one fight,that''s reason enough to wait. it means you really haven''t spent enough time together as a couple. Add another year (or even 2) and there will have been several fights, life events, family issues which help you REALLY know the other person and it''ll either be for the better or worse, but it''s important to KNOW all sides of the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. The romance and "wanting the fairytale" sound good, but it wears off fast and reality is a lot more stark and it takes some work, but it''s worth it. Now TOO many fights, might also be a giant red flag, but after only 8mo''s it''s hard to even differentiate that....
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Hey, I got earrings too. Little princess cut diamond earrings in my stocking. We agreed to only do stocking stuffers this year for each other to save money, but he snuck those in. I put a pretty nice watch in his too, so I guess we both got a surprise. But, no engagement ring. I can''t tell you how many people have either called or looked at my hand wanting to see if I got a ring. It''s horrible. I have to admit I''m a little down about it. If people would leave me alone I think I''d be ok with my pretty earrings and waiting.
~I think I''ve lost count until how many days now until New Year''s Eve, but it''s not long....~ |
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hi righttime (and sorry to hijack cRrazy :)): that''s great that you got earrings! And so nice of you to get him a watch, that''s on my list for next year to get my FI.
I can understand you being disappointed, I would be too. Do you think it might be time to bring up the topic? Not so much about what tense he uses when discussing schooling/where he will live, but real concrete answers to timeline for engagement and marriage? I think you''ve been so patient, it might be a good idea! He very well may have something planned around the corner (and is being respectful of you needing time with your father), but it doesn''t hurt to just check in!! He may not realize you are waiting diligently and that your "soon" means within a week!
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Crash, sorry to hear that the proposal didn''t happen for you and that you two had an argument. It does sound like you realize that there''s still things that need to happen in your relationship before the timing is right for a proposal. So what''s great is that now you two can work on those things. If you''re feeling insecure, you can take the time to figure out why and how to solve that problem. Some problems have to be solved for yourself before you two can commit together. I know that due to some of my failed relationships, I had some issues opening up. Those were things I had to work through before I could be ready to even accept a proposal. And actually, a lot of what helped me was time. I needed to experience such a positive relationship and experience the happiness before I could allow myself to openly communicate w/him. Now, I feel that the time was right when he proposed.
And earrings are great!! I love ALL jewelry!! So congrats to you on a great gift! It will happen for you!! |