I either need hand holding or a gag. - i.e. the ring is back.. again

[firebirdgold]

Well, I''m still determined to keep my mouth shut on the whole subject until he brings it up. Unfortunately that just got a lot harder. My dream ring just reappeared in a new incarnation that''s actually better than the original! (I have got to stop checking aer.com every day).
A brief re-cap, this winter there was this antique ring I just adored - heart fluttering, little catch of my breath adored. It was bought before I mentioned it to my bf. And I cried. Then, just to torture me, it came back after a month. Turns out a guy put it on hold and then changed his mind. So I told my bf, even though the timing was rotten. (I have got to stop bring stuff up when he''s gotten bad news). He said he wasn''t close to having enough saved for it. And I cried... all night. (out of his range of course). So the ring went away.. again. And I cried.. again, but just a little since I knew it would happen.
So today, I go on aer.com to see if they have new stuff, and lo and behold! they made a replica of the ring.

Only they improved it with little blue sapphires in the center of the flowers. (blue sapphires for loyalty and fidelity).

It makes me feel like it was fate intervening in my getting a ring before this. Now if he can only recover from his ph.d defense before this one dissapears!

Keeping mouth shut, but it''s going to be hard. I can do it, right??

 

[Mimikins24]

Ahh Wren --- I checked out the website. I think I found which one you are talking about and it so pretty!!!

I noticed the other day that your BF successfully completed his defense. So is there a certain amount of time that you want to "let it sit" before you bring up any ring related topics?

I'm sure when the time is right you will find that perfect ring. Also, if they made a replica of the original ring, then they should be able to do it again? If that is "the one" I'm sure they could make another replica for you (especially with the sweet little sapphires). Good luck!!!

 

[AlliBaba]

Hi Wren. Where can I see the new and improved ring?

I''m struggling with not bringing up the ring subject, too.

 

[Selkie]

I''m not sure if it''s the right one, but I think I found the new ring. I like it better than the original, too, even though they are pretty close. There are some subtle differences, such as the delicacy of the setting, and of course I gotta appreciate the sapphires! That''s great news, if they have a mold for it, then it should be available on demand. I''m sending you some patience vibes...

Third time''s a charm, right?

 

[Selkie]

BTW, have you contacted them to find out if it''s one of a kind, or can be replicated?

 

[JenStone]

Oh Wren, it''s beautiful! I don''t know how different this is from the original, but it''s no wonder that it got snapped up! I wish I could hack into their site and remove from everyone else''s view so that no one else takes it.

Sending you lots of patience and luck vibes...

 

[ilovesparkles]

Oh hun I am so sorry to hear your dilemma! That is incredibly frustrating. I am really curious about this ring but when i put in www.aer.com I get this atmospheric and environmental site. I even googled it and got nothing. Can you give a link to the ring? I ring? You can atleast show all of us

 

[~*Alexis*~]

I got the same site, when I went to the site when it was mentioned before I got there and now I cant find the link......post a link here Wren...Thanks!

 

[Blenheim]

My guess is www.antiqueengagementrings.com ?

 

[~*Alexis*~]

http://antiqueengagementrings.com/Default.aspx

theres the link for everyone, don''t know which one, but they are all nice looking though....

 

[firebirdgold]

Opps, sorry about that. have to be quick or my bf will see me on, which kinda defeats the not bringing it up thing.
So this is the ring

ETA: I feel reassured that they have made a replica of the original, which I thought was lost to me forever. And the price is a bit better than the original. There are a lot of rings out there that I like, and I very much admire asscher cuts, but this is the ring that calls to me. It helps to think that even if this one also is sold, that they have the mold and can always make another.

I held out a whole day w/o mentioning it! Let's see if I can make two!

 

[akw94]

Wren,
That is a pretty ring! I like the antique style too, and I like a bunch on that site. I am not bringing up rings for sometime either, so I feel your pain! I think what others suggested about contacting them to see if they can make others is a good idea. That way you wouldn''t feel so stressed about having to talk to him now.

You can make it two days!! I decided to finally tear out some pic''s of things I like in magazines and put them together in a binder. That actually made me feel a bit better.

 

[firebirdgold]

They posted the UGL report, which makes keeping my mouth shut a whole lot easier!

67.5% depth and 46% table with a slightly large cutlet?

It looks pretty in the pics, but I'm not so keen on the numbers.

Thank you guys for the encouragement

, and for reminding me that if they've made one replica they can make another. Hopefully I'll even be able to hold out on talking about it until after he brings the subject up! Day two is going well so far.

Of course, this now puts it in the diamond quest category along with an asscher cut, even more so since I don't see them in stock anywhere and at least GOG has an asscher in our size on hand.

I still have no idea if he's even willing to do a search like that, so it's a bit depressing.
But I love this ring so much, that I wouldn't be all that fussy on the diamond. (I know, sacrilege!) I'd rather have this ring with a good diamond than any other ring (inc. x-prong asscher) with a perfect ideal diamond.

I know I keep bouncing from one thing to another, but I'm not quite as inconsistent as I seem. Part of the problem is that my bf is not keen on jewelry in general (doesn't value it) and so I've assumed he might prefer an easy, click button and buy, option. (which could be an unfair assesment).

After the original of this ring disappeared the second time, I pretty much gave up on the idea of an antique ring. And started looking at modern styles that would fit in our budget. Several years of working in a high-end jewelry store with Hearts on Fire and such, left me... unenthused about round diamonds, even though that's the easiest thing for my bf to get.
I got excited when I discovered asschers come in smaller sizes, because they have so much more personality than rounds (to me). And I got even more excited when I discovered that one of the best vendors for asschers had a nice .46 carat in our budget!
But I've never actually seen an asscher under 1.5 carats or any asscher outside of a jewelry store. The only diamond ring I've ever bought for myself was an antique with a Rose cut diamond. (stolen) And when bf's friend and his fiancée were visiting, I couldn't keep my eyes off of her OEC! So I know I love old diamonds in real world situations.

Now if I can only get around the 'don't give me specifics' rule.

Oh man, having no control over this whole thing is just crazy-making. The last time I had this little control over something that'd have a major impact on my future was when my parents picked my elementary school for me 27 freaking years ago! Why do men act so surprised and insulted when a woman who's been in charge of everything in her life for decades freaks when she has no say in what, when, or how she and he move into the next 'phase' of their relationship?

No matter how much you love the guy, it'll still make you want to fling yourself on the floor and have a tantrum like the 5 yr old you've been reduced to. (Well it makes me want to do that at least!)
sorry mini rant.

Thanks for the hand holding!

 

[ilovesparkles]

I would like to offer a round of applause for Wren who made it through a day of not mentioning the ring! Yay hon you can do it another day! Its Friday, take a deep breth the weekend is almost here. This morning I stumbled across the site from a different thread and thought duh aer.com, who wants to write that all out lol

The ring is absolutely gorgeous and I am sure they can make a second replica if they made a first

Hang in their girl you can make it through!

*HUG*

 

[chrono]

They posted the UGL report, which makes keeping my mouth shut a whole lot easier! 67.5% depth and 46% table with a slightly large cutlet? It looks pretty in the pics, but I''m not so keen on the numbers.


Wren, those are the stats that makes my heart go ta-thump for old stones. The slightly deeper depth, tiny table and large culet are part of the Old European cut charm. Are you also interested in older cut stones or just asschers? Also, since AER has made a replica, it is pretty much guaranteed that Leigh can make more anytime since he already has the mold.

 

[firebirdgold]

Date: 4/7/2006 1:12:48 PM
Author: Chrono
They posted the UGL report, which makes keeping my mouth shut a whole lot easier! 67.5% depth and 46% table with a slightly large cutlet? It looks pretty in the pics, but I''m not so keen on the numbers.



Wren, those are the stats that makes my heart go ta-thump for old stones. The slightly deeper depth, tiny table and large culet are part of the Old European cut charm. Are you also interested in older cut stones or just asschers? Also, since AER has made a replica, it is pretty much guaranteed that Leigh can make more anytime since he already has the mold.

Really? Great, now you''ve made keeping my mouth shut a little more difficult!

I love old cut diamonds, but I don''t know anything about the stats for them.

I love asschers more than any other modern cut diamond, but it is also a very old style diamond. I think that like the OEC''s they have bigger, if fewer, flashes of light/color than modern diamonds. I haven''t run into any smaller asschers yet in my local ring ''window shopping'', but all of the OEC''s I''ve tried on have made my heart go pitty-pat. (Granted that was like three rings, but still better than any modern rounds.)

I may have to go see if there are any smaller emerald cuts in the town, since they are related to asschers and may be my best bet for seeing how much I like them in person.

And it hasn''t escaped my notice that OEC''s have a slightly lower per carat price which means that while we can just barely afford a .5 carat asscher, we can easily afford a .65 -7 carat OEC.

 

[akw94]

Oh man, having no control over this whole thing is just crazy-making. The last time I had this little control over something that''d have a major impact on my future was when my parents picked my elementary school for me 27 freaking years ago! Why do men act so surprised and insulted when a woman who''s been in charge of everything in her life for decades freaks when she has no say in what, when, or how she and he move into the next ''phase'' of their relationship?

No matter how much you love the guy, it''ll still make you want to fling yourself on the floor and have a tantrum like the 5 yr old you''ve been reduced to. (Well it makes me want to do that at least!)
sorry mini rant.

Thanks for the hand holding!

I can certainly relate to this! It''s not even like we are sharing control, he just wants complete control. That is tough! All he really wants from me is to know my likes/dislikes and that''s it. *We* are getting engaged, not just him but he doesn''t see it like that. I can appreciate how he sees things, but it seems like he''s thinking more about the standard way of doing things and not taking *me* and my ways into account as much as I''d like. It does make me want to go a bit crazy as well. I''ve been feeling a bit more relaxed about it the past few weeks though. Maybe being sick I haven''t had the energy to think about it or hopefully, i''ve reached some sort of calming place where I will remain until the mysterious moment.
But why oh why must it be a big secret.

 

[Selkie]

Having absolutely NO CONTROL would have driven me utterly batty, so I really feel for you, Wren and Amy. I''ve been doing things my way or the highway since I was in utero, according to my Mom.

On the other hand, there has to be a happy medium. My FI left picking the ring entirely up to me, and there were times I told him I almost wished he had picked it out for me. I kept changing my damn mind, and I think I looked at every single style of freaking ring out there. Of course, I ended up with the one I loved even before we got engaged...


As for aer.com, my word, there are some tasty rings on there. I think I found my wedding band...

 

[zhuzhu]

Wren, The ring you like is beautiful! I hope he will propose with this ring to you soon too. I am preparing for my PhD defense myself and trust me, even AFTER passing of the defense there is still ALOT of work left to be done so the dissertation can be turned in. Just be patient with him and your dream will come true in no time!!

Also keep in mind that he is working to complete the PhD for BOTH OF YOUR FUTURE!!

 

[snuga]

Your ring is BEAUTIFUL!! I love the little sapphires.. I think it really makes the ring more unique. I hope that you get your dream ring soon!

 

[moon river]

Date: 4/7/2006 10:52:09 PM
Author: kalispera
Your ring is BEAUTIFUL!! I love the little sapphires.. I think it really makes the ring more unique. I hope that you get your dream ring soon!

I totally agree. Those sapphires MAKE the ring. Can''t wait till it''s on your hand!!!

 

[Munchkin]

My e-ring came from there, and my FI (and my sister) told me Leigh was great to work with. My sis and FI actually went ring shopping just before the district was closing for its two week summer vacation. FI thought it was "the ring" but had to ponder the cost and see what else was out there. Leigh was kind enough to pull the ring from the website for the duration of the summer break so FI could decide. Leigh was concerned that someone would place an internet order during the break that he would have to honor. So he pulled it from the website without any deposit.

To the best of my knowledge, anything that is a "replica" can be reproduced by Leigh. So, even if the time isn''t right, save the photo and style number for later. (He catalogs by style number.) He also responds promptly to emails, so I would send him a note asking if he thinks the style could be produced at a later date.

Munchkin

 

[ilovesparkles]

Just checking in to see how things are going Wren? Hope all is well as I am sure it is!

 

[fatafelice]

That is a lovely ring! Be sure to let your BF know that it can be recreated any time! That should take some of the pressure off!

Keep us updated!

 

[firebirdgold]

Well, I''m still being patient which is taking a heroic effort! Despite the fact that I know they can make another copy of the ring, it''s still very hard keeping my mouth shut about it! I am determined to not bring the subject up before he does.
Although I did have hopes he would last night, but no luck there. I just have to keep reminding myself that this is character building for me!

When the subject does finally come up, I think that I will have to talk to him about how frustrating this lack of control is. I''m willing to let him choose between a few options I picked out, but the idea of him running amok among all the different ring and diamond possibilities gives me the heebie jeebies!
Although I''m so nuts over this ring that I still find myself hoping that he secretly bought the original months ago and is holding on to it until greece! Bad Wren, Bad Wren. *smack* I mean how much more romantic can you get for a proposal? Ancient greek ruins, azure blue ocean in the distance, brilliant sun overhead, the scent of an old and foreign land on the soft breeze... It''s a once in a lifetime moment! Although I have got to stop thinking that before we go, I don''t want this trip to be ruined by my hoping for a proposal and then being all disappointed.

hey, Selkie, how''s the ring going?

 

[Selkie]

Hey Wren,
Excellent job, keep it up! I forget, have you ever actually told him how you''d like to be more involved in the choosing? Or has he just insisted on doing it himself if you bring it up?

Thanks for asking about my ring. They estimated nine weeks from the time the order was finally placed, which was in early March, I think...so, early May, maybe?? There was a bit of a hold up, because it turned out that the diamonds from my earrings were cut too deep for the setting, so we ended up buying the side stones from Cross as well. That was an unexpected extra expense, and the sight-unseen aspect makes me a little nervous.

But at least I still have the other diamonds, and can reset them in some cool new earrings.

Anyway, they are supposed to call J''s cell phone, not our home phone, when it''s done, to keep at least some element of surprise for me. I don''t even know if he''s going to have it shipped to him at work, or here. So, I DON''T KNOW!!! I''m beginning to get nervous/excited, and I''m not sure if he''s going to get elaborate about giving it to me, or if he figures that one romantic proposal was enough. Should be interesting...

 

[firebirdgold]

Date: 4/10/2006 3:02:42 PM
Author: Selkie
Hey Wren,

Excellent job, keep it up! I forget, have you ever actually told him how you''d like to be more involved in the choosing? Or has he just insisted on doing it himself if you bring it up?

And I quote: "It''ll take all the fun out of it."

Seriously though, I''m feeling much better and calmer about the whole thing. We spent a lot of time togther this weekend, with a lot of holding hands, hugs, and cuddling. It''s amazing how much things like that can reassure me, more so than anything else. He''s still recovering from post ph.d, but things have improved already! The change since New Years was so gradual I hadn''t even realized how his stress and hermit-like habits had affected me and my confidence.
Although I have to say I fail to understand how I could never doubt the relationship, yet still worry he''d had second thoughts? I''m sooo not rational.

Despite the new calm, it''s still challenging not to bring the subject, let along the ring, up. But so far so good! (I may buy myself little diamond studs if I can hold out until he brings it up again!)

Thanks for asking about my ring. They estimated nine weeks from the time the order was finally placed, which was in early March, I think...so, early May, maybe?? There was a bit of a hold up, because it turned out that the diamonds from my earrings were cut too deep for the setting, so we ended up buying the side stones from Cross as well. That was an unexpected extra expense, and the sight-unseen aspect makes me a little nervous.

But at least I still have the other diamonds, and can reset them in some cool new earrings.


Anyway, they are supposed to call J''s cell phone, not our home phone, when it''s done, to keep at least some element of surprise for me. I don''t even know if he''s going to have it shipped to him at work, or here. So, I DON''T KNOW!!! I''m beginning to get nervous/excited, and I''m not sure if he''s going to get elaborate about giving it to me, or if he figures that one romantic proposal was enough. Should be interesting...

That''s good to know! I remember you were having issues with the diamonds, so I''m glad it was resolved. I don''t supposed reminding yourself that you have until May, will help you delay the nervousness? didn''t think so!

Do you want him to get elaborate about it?

 

[akw94]

Although I have to say I fail to understand how I could never doubt the relationship, yet still worry he''d had second thoughts? I''m sooo not rational.

Ok, no need to feel bad about this! I have been there. Emotions aren''t always rational. Even though the relationship is going great, those worries tend to creep in. I am just trying to focus on the day to day. It''s actually making me feel a bit better. I''m almost glad he said something to me about us talking about it all the time. It gave me a little perspective and allowed me to stop focusing so much on it and just enjoy present day. Ok, I still *think* about it, but I certainly feel better and more calm.
Glad it''s a little easier for you too. It will work itself out.

 

[Julian]

I adore that setting! It''s truly truly beautiful and delicate. I''d almost imagine it on a wood nymph''s hand or a fairy''s finger!

Beautiful!

 

[Small]

Wow...that is one stunning ring

I love the blue sapphires on it...such a delicate touch. I hope you get the ring of your dreams and have an amazing time in Greece. I agree about not getting your hopes up though...it''ll just ruin a wonderful trip. I did that many of times and got let down and took it out on my bf for no reason and didn''t want to tell him why because he''d just rip me apart about patience and our time coming. Anyway...patience is a virtue so just keep waiting...I think you''ll be pleasantly surprised