I am moving out because we just want different things

[Patchee]

Not sure if anyone here remembers me. I remember that Metcalf (sp) was a huge help to me in the past and Sumbride (who is now a bride by now?) was great with advice too.

In short, living together & 3.5 years later and ME and only me talking my head off about future and marriage I am totally done! I am tired of false hopes, tired of empty promises. I am sad as hell though as this relationship was "my one" ... so I just wanted to say that even after all this time and it being a worth it relationship I can still be strong enough to think about me, I am not absorbed. Thanks for listening! -Patchee

 

[bee*]

Im so sorry to hear that patchee. It sounds like you''re definitely doing the right thing for you. You deserve someone who wants all those things too. Best of luck with everything.

ps-sumbride is a BIW now-I think getting married later this year

 

[JenStone]

I''m so sorry to hear this Patchee. Something similar happened to my friend and it was only when she moved out that her boyfriend realized he really wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and asked her back. They were engaged 2 months later. Maybe something like that will happen to you, maybe not. However, if it wasn''t meant to be, then you made the right decision. I wish the best for you in the future.

 

[NYCsparkle]

Good for you. it will get easier in time. your life is worth more than waiting around for some guy to finally make you happy with a proposal. enjoy yourself and treat yourself well.

You are ultimately in charge of your own happiness and destiny!!!

 

[Mara]

Date: 5/22/2007 10:21:13 AM
Author: NYCsparkle
Good for you. it will get easier in time. your life is worth more than waiting around for some guy to finally make you happy with a proposal. enjoy yourself and treat yourself well.

You are ultimately in charge of your own happiness and destiny!!!

I totally agree. I''m so glad to see that you are finally putting yourself first. I remember your posts from what...6 or 9 months ago? Anyway, waiting is never fun especially when it''s fruitless. Life is too short to waste it. There IS a guy out there for you...just go out and start living your life independently and he will find you. Good luck lady.

 

[Patchee]

Yep mara that was me from months ago. What a jerk I have been ... I will not re-read those posts because if I remember correctly I was like "What''s marriage anyway" type of attitude. But as of late I feel like no one person should map out my life, my dreams and what I would like to expect out of life. I for sure thought he and I were meant for eachother. If only he was not like talking to a wall... I feel I cannot express my wants any more. I am doing the right thing, just going to have to lean on you ladies for that support, keep in mind it may be forever that I need you gals.

Hi JenStone: What a happy ending!!!

I feel like my guy should know what he has already, I don''t think he is ever going to find another Patchee

If he came back I would be filled with mixed emotions... maybe I just need a clean break! Thanks ladies!!!

 

[Mandarine]

Hi Patchee,

I remember you!!!.

I''m glad you checked in....I am proud of you! Good for you!!!. Life has to be lived at it''s fullest and love just shouldn''t be so hard!.

It will get easier! Hang in there!

M~

 

[FireGoddess]

Patchee, I am sorry to hear about your troubles but glad that you are taking a stand for what you want and not settling for less. *hugs*

 

[janinegirly]

i wasn''t familiar with your story, but am sorry to hear that it came to this. but as everyone said, it sounds like you''re doing the right thing.
i was waiting 3 yrs too, and while it turned out good for me--sometimes you just never know which way it''ll go--especially when you''re the one who feels it''s meant to be and constantly having conversations that result in a lot of talking but no action. sometimes, you have to take control of your life instead of just waiting for someone to get things going--and good for you for taking that step.
have you moved out and how is your bf reacting? You can definitely vent here anytime!! Good luck and you should feel good about being true to yourself.

 

[DMBsGirl]

Sorry about this, I hope he wakes up and smells the coffee! Sometimes it takes some time apart to get them to realize that they need to move forward. Wish you all the best!

 

[anchor31]

I remember you... I''m very happy you found out what is important for you and are going for it. It takes a lot of courage to do that, good for you! Here''s to a happy ending for you, too.

 

[princesss]

Oh, sweetie, that''s so rough! I haven''t kept up with your story, being new here myself. It sounds like you made the best decision for yourself, and that took courage and strength, and I think you should be proud of yourself for doing it, even if it''s no fun at all. And your ex isn''t EVER going to find another Patchee. You''re one of a kind, and phooey on anybody that doesn''t see a good thing when they have it.

It''s hard now, and I can''t even imagine what it feels like, but all I know is that life works out when you need it to, and time heals just about everything. Good luck!

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 5/22/2007 11:47:19 PM
Author: princesss
Oh, sweetie, that''s so rough! I haven''t kept up with your story, being new here myself. It sounds like you made the best decision for yourself, and that took courage and strength, and I think you should be proud of yourself for doing it, even if it''s no fun at all. And your ex isn''t EVER going to find another Patchee. You''re one of a kind, and phooey on anybody that doesn''t see a good thing when they have it.


It''s hard now, and I can''t even imagine what it feels like, but all I know is that life works out when you need it to, and time heals just about everything. Good luck!

Princesss- I love the quote on the end of this post. Beautiful.

 

[firebirdgold]

Of course we remember you Patchee!

Kudos on having the courage to see what''s right for you and to move on! Good riddance! Don''t waste a moment more thinking he might change his mind or realize what he''s lost. He''s just not the guy for you!

Good Luck!

 

[neatfreak]

Patchee, you deserve a pat on the back for being strong enough to do what''s right for YOU. So many women fall into this trap and end up in loveless relationships filled with resentment.

Stay strong and things will start to look up for you soon!

 

[sumbride]

Date: 5/22/2007 9:43:42 AM
Author:Patchee
I am sad as hell though as this relationship was ''my one'' ...

Hey Patchee--

I am GLAD you''re getting on with your life! As for that one being your "one"... Bullshift!!! The one* you are truly meant to be with will want what you want, and will work with you to build a life together that is what BOTH of you want!!! You will find the person and the relationship you deserve... just get out there and live the life you want!



* I don''t belive in the concept of just "one"... there are many people out there that could fit. Seriously.

 

[firebirdgold]

Date: 5/31/2007 12:49:12 PM
Author: sumbride

Date: 5/22/2007 9:43:42 AM

Author:Patchee

I am sad as hell though as this relationship was ''my one'' ...

Hey Patchee--


I am GLAD you''re getting on with your life! As for that one being your ''one''... Bullshift!!! The one* you are truly meant to be with will want what you want, and will work with you to build a life together that is what BOTH of you want!!! You will find the person and the relationship you deserve... just get out there and live the life you want!




* I don''t belive in the concept of just ''one''... there are many people out there that could fit. Seriously.

Well I do believe in ''the one'', however from personal experience I''ve realized that it''s awfully easy to want someone to be the one so badly that you convince yourself he is ''the one''. That whole ''you''ll just know he''s the one'' bit is totally bullcarp. Well, ok it''s true... but there''s no actual way to tell the difference between wanting someone to be the one and the guy actually being the one until you''ve experienced both. So it''s totally useless and therefor related to carp of the bull variety.

 

[chicago_girl]

*hugz*

Things will get better. I, too, was in the same situation...except it took me 7 years to realize he wasn't into me. The person who opened my eyes was Mara. I'm so glad!

I took two years off from dating after we split. Did some soul searching and just became a happier person on my own.

Then, when I got to the point of being perfectly content with the idea of being alone for the rest of my life, he arrived. My boyfriend turned out to be the one to show me what love is really like. Our relationship is so healthy, happy and drama-free! He loves me just as I am and he totally gets me. This is how love should be.

So, keep your head up! One day you will look back and secretly thank your ex for his part in making you the woman you are. I believe that everything we go through in love are actual growth spurts to get us closer to the woman we want to become.