How to announce our engagement?

[BrightSpot]

Hi ladies!

First of all, I''m not engaged yet, but I like to plan ahead...

I have a question for you all. How did you announce your engagement to your family/friends?

My bf & I live in NYC, his folks live on Long Island & mine are in Virginia. Is it better to call the folks ASAP to announce the engagement or tell them later, in person? It seems more personal to tell our families..um..in person, but I know we''ll tell our friends soon because we''ll see them & I hate to think our families would be the last to know. I hope we''ll be getting engaged (girl) soon & we''re visiting my family this weekend & saw my bf''s family last weekend.

Any thoughts or advice? Thanks!

 

[ammayernyc]

Phone... definitely.
I can''t imagine how upset my family would be if they weren''t the first to know...

 

[elephant]

I know it seems somewhat impersonal, but I do sort of think you should tell your family first. You don''t want to hurt their feelings.... That happened when bf''s grampa got married. He told all his friends first that he was getting remarried and all his kids feelings were hurt and none of them went to the wedding. Is there any way you could drive down to see them as soon as possible? I''ve HEARD it''s customary to tell the bride''s family, then the groom''s family, but I''m not positive if that''s right/necessary.

I hope that helps? Good Luck! Hopefully it WILL be girl soon!

 

[Kaleigh]

Since you are visiting your parents this weekend can your BF find a time where he can ask your dad for your hand and once he gets the ok you can announce your engagement while you are visiting your folks???

 

[BrightSpot]

I agree with all of you--my parents would definitely be hurt if they weren''t among the first to know. (which makes me lean towards telling them via phone, but my best friend just advised me against that so I''m having doubts...)

Hmm, kaleigh, that''s an interesting thought. My bf doesn''t really believe in the "asking for my hand" business just because he said it seemed a bit dishonest. (i.e. What if they said no? He would still ask me anyway...) I think it''s a nice show of respect, but it also seems a little silly as we''ve both been married before. I don''t know if there''s a way for him to talk to them about it w/o "asking" per se?

I''ve told my parents that we''re in the process of ring selection, but didn''t want to make the official announcement of our engagement until we had the ring & my bf had proposed. (I hope we''ll have the ring before the 4th of July weekend, but am not certain it will be ready by then.)

 

[njc]

I think phone calls are just fine.

We called our families to tell them, then talked to friends... and we called all of them as well. I dont think anyone was upset that it was a phone call vs. a personal visit. FI had the ring when he went home for Thanksgiving so his family got to see it and he had asked my dad before proposing, so everyone kinda knew it was coming, it was just a matter of when!