HIS engagement gift!?!

[glitterazzi]

UMmmmm.... so I just read a couple of threads mentioning engagement gifts for the groom to be. Can someone tell me more? I''ve never heard of this and MAY need to really start saving! Elaborate please!!!??

 

[~*Alexis*~]

I think its a personal decision. I will probably get him something a short time after...like a watch or something else signigicant...It is really all up to the other person....

 

[Calla18]

I personally LOVE this idea! Let''s face it, many times the engagement and the wedding are both all about us ladies and the guys get shafted. Since an engagement ring is something I really want (from him), I plan on getting him something HE really wants, a BIG plasma tv. lol. I do really like the watch idea, but we have a tendency to buy watches when we go on vacations.

With all that being said, it is an individual choice and nowhere have I read it being proper etiquette!

 

[trillionaire]

I''m a big gifty, so he will be getting things for years to come, but the engagement gift will depend on my finances. I am still in school, but he has been working for several years...

 

[emilina22]

i have heard of something like this...

when M and i got engaged it happened to be around Christmas and his birthday so i decided to get him something big so i got him an 80gb play station 3...which he calls his "engagement gift/"bribe" "

 

[sugarjo]

my fi got me as his engagement gift........he he.........sorry, couldn''t resist.

 

[that_someone_special]

Date: 12/12/2008 1:12:34 AM
Author: sugarjo
my fi got me as his engagement gift........he he.........sorry, couldn''t resist.

I''m going to use this

 

[Pandora II]

Let''s just say that DH got the xmas present that he REALLY wanted - I pushed the boat out a bit and bought him a new DSLR camera as a joint xmas/engagement present.

But frankly, I was his real present...

 

[girlie-girl]

I bought my husband the new golf club he'd been eyeballing. He's an avid golfer and was needing a new driver, I mentioned wanting to buy him an engagement gift and he said that's what he wanted.

 

[April20]

I didn''t buy my husband an engagement present- I can''t say I ever really thought about it. I did buy my husband a really nice watch, something he would never buy for himself, and gave it to him as a wedding present though.

 

[Bia]

The boy doesn''t get "shafted," he gets me!!! He''s the lucky one!!!

I might get him something really great (maybe a guitar he has his heart on)...but I''m broke, so it might take awhile.

 

[CheshireSmile]

I don''t know if it''s a wide custom, but I''ve heard of it done, and I like the idea of him getting something special for the engagement as well. I think he''d love a PS3 or huge HDTV, but I like the idea of a nice watch or cufflinks to wear at our wedding (though I may do the cufflinks as a wedding gift for him instead)- basically I would want to get him something to have forever, just like my ring. But I''ll see what he actually wants.

 

[neatfreak]

I think it''s a personal thing. I bought my husband a fairly extravagant handmade snare drum that he''s been lusting after. It worked well because now he has no problem with me buying diamonds because he can finally equate the formerly "useless" expense to his love for handmade drums!

 

[rnbwsktles]

I just got engaged a few weeks ago, but I knew it was going to happen around Christmas. So I had already planned to buy him a few really expensive Christmas presents. I''ll probably be spending about $1500 total, but one of the things I bought has a payment plan, so it won''t be all at once. Unfortunately, this is a lifetime membership to an organization and he doesn''t get that status until I am done paying! I guess it will end up being his wedding present

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 12/12/2008 10:32:30 AM
Author: neatfreak
I think it''s a personal thing. I bought my husband a fairly extravagant handmade snare drum that he''s been lusting after. It worked well because now he has no problem with me buying diamonds because he can finally equate the formerly ''useless'' expense to his love for handmade drums!

Oooh, your husband is a drummer?! Awesome, so am I!! What was the snare drum he got?



As for the OP, an engagement is between two people. So, why shouldn''t two people celebrate with gifts? Seems only fair to me.

 

[Inanna]

Of course it depends on the situation and the couple, however, in this day and age I think an engagement gift is generally only fair considering the guy is usually shelling out thousands on a ring when the female often has the same or similar income. Yes, FI gets me which is a reward in and of itself, but I also get the most special guy in the world. In our case, FI is getting an "engagement recliner" of his choice - luckily he has really, really great taste in furniture. I''m pretty sure he''s decided on a Barcalounger mission-style leather recliner (and I can now cease having nightmares of a poofy `80''s style scratchy fabric recliner sitting in our living room

).

 

[tessari]

His 30th birthday is right after our engagement party so I am going to combine both gifts and get him a really nice watch.

 

[sammyj]

Date: 12/12/2008 11:29:22 AM
Author: gwendolyn



As for the OP, an engagement is between two people. So, why shouldn''t two people celebrate with gifts? Seems only fair to me.

I totally agree. I love giving gifts, even more so when I''m celebrating something! I posted this in the carat size thread, but I will probably get my BF a puppy/dog when get engaged. I should also mention that he *asked* for a puppy but I know I would have bought him something either way.

 

[trillionaire]

For those of you into the cufflinks idea,

http://www.aakaufman.com/quoti-doquot-cufflinks.html

http://www.uncommongoods.com/item/item.jsp?itemId=15785


They are cute ideas

I''ll probably give FF a ring of some sort... I just like the idea of him having a symbol of being ''off the market'', since I will have one.

He wants a two tone ring, so I think I will get him one for an e-ring that is the inverse of the one he will get for the wedding.

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Like others have said, I really think it is just a personal decision. Since he will be saving for a ring to last me a lifetime

and I make pretty good money, I am planning on buying him an engagement Rolex. Like my ring, it is something he can have and cherish for a long long time!

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 12/12/2008 11:29:22 AM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 12/12/2008 10:32:30 AM

Author: neatfreak

I think it''s a personal thing. I bought my husband a fairly extravagant handmade snare drum that he''s been lusting after. It worked well because now he has no problem with me buying diamonds because he can finally equate the formerly ''useless'' expense to his love for handmade drums!

Oooh, your husband is a drummer?! Awesome, so am I!! What was the snare drum he got?

As for the OP, an engagement is between two people. So, why shouldn''t two people celebrate with gifts? Seems only fair to me.

Hehe, I got him a Ron Dunnett (sp?) snare...made out of some kind of fancy wood. Lol, sorry I can''t be more specific! I''m sure that''s the kind of description he gives people when they ask what type of ring he got me!

 

[ringisthething]

I have been considering this too.... He really wants an Omega watch that is around 5k but I don''t know. That is a lot of $$ and I kind of consider my house the present. I bought a house 2+ years ago and have been pouring a lot of my extra $ into paying it down so he will come into this and I will put it in both of our names, or use the equity that I have built in this home already as a downpayment on a home we pick together. I would imagine it would be less exciting though, he would much rather have the watch since he knows I come as a package deal with a house and a dog already.

 

[tessari]

Date: 12/12/2008 2:21:07 PM
Author: ringisthething
I have been considering this too.... He really wants an Omega watch that is around 5k but I don''t know. That is a lot of $$ and I kind of consider my house the present. I bought a house 2+ years ago and have been pouring a lot of my extra $ into paying it down so he will come into this and I will put it in both of our names, or use the equity that I have built in this home already as a downpayment on a home we pick together. I would imagine it would be less exciting though, he would much rather have the watch since he knows I come as a package deal with a house and a dog already.

Hmmm...you are so right!! I completely forgot about that. I am in a similar position--I own the condo we live in so I guess I''ll make putting his name on it my wedding present for him. Not too romantic but it''s a substantial gift--making him a homeowner too! But given that it''s his 30th bday right after the engagement party I will still get him a nice watch and make it a combo engagement present--I was thinking something in the $2500 range....

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

I got my fiance a gorgeous Omega Seamaster watch (the one from James Bond 007). I thought it was only fair he get a really great gift too! I don''t think it''s that common though - and like the others have said - it it a personal decision. My FI is very into watches so it was a perfect gift, but if we wasn''t, I am not sure I would have gotten him anything. Some people get their FI tv and such).

 

[Tuckins1]

Yeah... We didn''t do engagement gifts. I was his gift, and the ring was mine!

 

[musey]

I''m all for an engagement gift for him, I think they''re great... but at the same time, doesn''t it seem counter-intuitive? It makes sense for whoever''s proposing to offer up something (yikes, not in a "buying you" way, I don''t know how to make that not sound so bad!). Sort of an "I want to marry you, and here''s the tangible sumfin-sumfin to show my love for you" kind of thing.

Unless you mutually decide to get engaged (don''t most people?) and forgo the whole "proposal" thing (which most people don''t do even if they just "decided" together), then it would be a celebratory mutual exchange of gifts.

I''m not saying engagement gifts for guys is a bad idea, I''m just getting a little philosophical

I asked my then-FI to choose between three gifts for his engagement present (a flat-screen TV, a designer watch, and a paint job for his car) and he said he was uncomfortable with me giving him a gift for the occasion. So instead, I gave him a lot more wedding presents (a high-end suit, Tiffany cufflinks, and something more personal) than he gave me

 

[lala2332]

I''m not sure how I feel about an engagement gift for the guy.

Not to look at things badly, but if it doesn''t work out do you get the enegagement gift back? legally, i don''t think you can, b/c its a gift. I''m not sure how arguing that the true ownership is conditional on the wedding going through, like an e-ring. there just isn''t much precedent for this type of conditional gift, so that might be something to think about.

I''m planning on doing an a much bigger wedding gift for him than he will probably do for me. That is my compromise.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Date: 12/12/2008 7:41:38 PM
Author: lala2332
I''m not sure how I feel about an engagement gift for the guy.

Not to look at things badly, but if it doesn''t work out do you get the enegagement gift back? legally, i don''t think you can, b/c its a gift. I''m not sure how arguing that the true ownership is conditional on the wedding going through, like an e-ring. there just isn''t much precedent for this type of conditional gift, so that might be something to think about.

I''m planning on doing an a much bigger wedding gift for him than he will probably do for me. That is my compromise.

The engagement ring is a condition of a contract (usually unless given on a birthday or Holiday). If that contract isn''t honored, etiquette, and most state laws, dictate that the ring be returned to the purchaser.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

I don't think engagement gifts have to happen along WITH the proposal, but if you're heading down that road, and you know an engagement is inevitable, I see no reason to start saving for a tangible gift of his own. Or, cutting the budget for your ring in half (or by 30% or something) so that you both can cherish as a momento of your engagement. As a woman with a career, I've always made on par with my husband, so I had no misgivings about him spending a few thousand $ on me, without returning the favour. I feel like we started a new family tradition by exchanging engagement gifts.

My husband and I got engaged and married so quickly, that I didn't have time to save for a specific engagement gift for my husband before the wedding. We didn't buy wedding gifts for each other since we considered the vacation and lodging in Vegas our wedding gift. A few weeks after the wedding, I used the funds from a second car I had sold to buy him his dream car, a Subaru STI.

 

[anyname]

I like the idea of a engagement present for the guy. When i got engaged my fiance got a camera. i also got him a mountain bike as a wedding present. But to each their own.