Getting through to the future Mother-In-Law

[Evie75]

Hello, Im sorry to hear about all the problems you're having with you future MIL.... wel just know that it isnt you at all.... its def her.... I thankfully have a wonderful future MIL who does not butt in (not engaged yet but will be ).. and when she does butt in its something nice and fun that she has to say never negative! which is how it should be... and and if she does over step (which never happens) my BF is there to control her.... THATS what you have to make sure of.. that your BF will defend you and understand when she is being completely unreasonable its his mother only he can control her...and you have every right to tell her when she is being too much.... in a nice way you dont have to be mean... your BF should pull out the big guns if they need to be pulled out.

MY EX bf's mother was totally spawned from the darkest pits of hell!!!!! horrible woman.... had something negative to say about everything... looked at me up and down everytime she saw me... rollled her eyes at things me and the ex would do.... I really thought she didnt like me.. but the fact was she was just a bitch LOL.. some mothers have a insane attachment to their sons.. this one totally did (which is why he is my ex,,, not the only reason though) she was sit on his lap stroke his face and tell him how gorgeous he was and kiss him like she was trying to make me jealous.. it was so sick... and of course he was mr. wimp boy when it came to her,, which is not good. and i put up with it for like 7 years ..

sooooooooo as long as you and your BF stick together and you know he feels the same as you... and is willing to stand up to his mother.. you're fine....

oh and if she is as horrible as my ex's.... trust me she will ALWAYS be like that.. she will NEVER changed ........ dont let it destroy your relationship.. and it sounds like he is a great guy who will stand by YOU which is wonderful

 

[snuga]

Thanks everyone! I have been MIA the past few days, but all your advice really helps! I really dont think she will ever change, but it helps to know that my boyfriend is super supportive and stands behind me about everything, including my stance on his mother. He is incredibly understanding and agrees that her behavior is unacceptable. I guess I can put up with her if it means having such a great guy!!

 

[JDgirl]

I applaud the way that you and your BF have handled this situation. I used to date someone who was absolutely wonderful, but his family hated me for some reason. His brother and sister liked me, but his parents were just rude and mean to me. I tried to talk to him and get him to see it from my side, but he always tried to "not pick sides," which basically ate away at our relationship. Years later, he now recognizes that his parents were wrong and it wasn''t my fault, but it was too little too late. If your BF respects your stance and supports YOU, which it sounds like he does, then I really think you guys can handle this and move beyond it. Some people are just beyond reasoning with, so as long as you and your BF are on the same page and have given it your best shot, then it''ll be fine. Let us know how things progress, and good luck!

 

[larussel03]

Date: 12/12/2005 7:12:13 PM
Author: kalispera
Thanks everyone! I have been MIA the past few days, but all your advice really helps! I really dont think she will ever change, but it helps to know that my boyfriend is super supportive and stands behind me about everything, including my stance on his mother. He is incredibly understanding and agrees that her behavior is unacceptable. I guess I can put up with her if it means having such a great guy!!

I think that''s the most important thing to realize--that she wont change, as you said. And it''s obvious that her intentions at least are in the right place, even if they''re a little clouded by her desire for you to wear her e ring. It''s great that your bf can take your side, it''s important for him to support you in important issues : )