squeaksluv
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2005
- Messages
- 203
Hello everyone, I know it''s been so long since my last post but so much has happened. As you may guess from the topic we called off our engagement. It''s been a crazy long couple of weeks but I think the worst has past, at least that''s how I feel today anyway (subject to change at any moment).
The story....up until the engagement I thought things were pretty good between us, there were some issues (aren''t there always?) but nothing that I didn''t think was a big deal...well...after we got engaged things changed, for both of us. All of sudden it was like we didn''t feel this need to be together all of the time. I think we both felt that way, I know I did. I was working a lot which I used as an excuse I guess. Everytime someone would ask how the wedding planning was going I kept saying I''d get to it after work slowed down, there was always something. He didn''t question it either which at the time I felt relief about it. When his mother would call me up and ask about it I would use some excuse saying we''re just really busy and what was the rush. The odd thing is, I really felt this way and didn''t feel the need to question why we were doing this.
After a few weeks of this I started feeling really pressured by everyone and it really bugged me and I''d started getting really snippy when someone would ask about it. I didn''t even wear the ring as much as I kept saying it was too big or made me feel uncomfortable wearing it around..yeah, weird I know. So one day I''m downtown doing a little shopping and I see my FI with another girl at lunch. I don''t think anything of it and walk over there to say hello. He looks surprised to see me and a little uncomfortable which sparked my interest (but not my suspiciouns oddly enough). He introduces her as a client and they invite me to sit down and have some lunch with them. For some reason I decide to (curiosity? hunger?) and take a seat. The conversation is neutral with focus about work and the like but what was so weird is that I felt like a thirdwheel, seriously. Like there was some tension between them and I was the outsider. After lunch we part ways and I head back uptown trying to figure out what was going on. That night when he gets home I start with the questions about her, the funny thing is it wasn''t because I was concerned about them but more like I was amused by what I felt, like he was just a friend and not my fiance''. He denies anything and I beleive him but our conversation turns to ourselves and why weren''t we in wedding plan mode. He comes out point blank and asks me why I was stalling in picking a date or planning the wedding. At that moment it hit me that I really was stalling things by using work as an excuse. I asked him why he never pushed it and he said he was waiting for me to do something...but if he really wanted to get married he would of pushed it right? We ended up talking to all hours of the night and I finally tell him I needed some space to figure things out and took the ring off to give it back to him. That''s when he started getting tears in his eyes and we both realized that it was over, for no apparant reason than we fell out of love somewhere along the way and were too busy to realize it. We tried to go back and analyze when we felt that way but we couldn''t pin point any defining moment. I asked him to honestly tell me about the girl and he said he felt something with her, a flirtation, an attraction but nothing had become of it. I asked him if he would make a move now that we were no longer and he said most likely not as he needed some space but maybe one day. And the crazy thing is it didn''t bother me..not even in the slightest. I went and stayed at a friends that night even though he said he wanted me to stay but I needed the space. It was a very emotional goodbye to say the least. It''s been a few weeks and I feel okay about things. I''ve gone through my moments when I''ve broken down and cried but we''ve spoken quite a few times and I feel like we could just manage to stay friends.
So there it is. I feel okay telling you all about this and actually feel pretty positive about things today. I know I''ll have my moments but I also know that this is the right thing for us. I''ll find someone again and this time I''ll not be able to wait to plan the wedding!
The story....up until the engagement I thought things were pretty good between us, there were some issues (aren''t there always?) but nothing that I didn''t think was a big deal...well...after we got engaged things changed, for both of us. All of sudden it was like we didn''t feel this need to be together all of the time. I think we both felt that way, I know I did. I was working a lot which I used as an excuse I guess. Everytime someone would ask how the wedding planning was going I kept saying I''d get to it after work slowed down, there was always something. He didn''t question it either which at the time I felt relief about it. When his mother would call me up and ask about it I would use some excuse saying we''re just really busy and what was the rush. The odd thing is, I really felt this way and didn''t feel the need to question why we were doing this.
After a few weeks of this I started feeling really pressured by everyone and it really bugged me and I''d started getting really snippy when someone would ask about it. I didn''t even wear the ring as much as I kept saying it was too big or made me feel uncomfortable wearing it around..yeah, weird I know. So one day I''m downtown doing a little shopping and I see my FI with another girl at lunch. I don''t think anything of it and walk over there to say hello. He looks surprised to see me and a little uncomfortable which sparked my interest (but not my suspiciouns oddly enough). He introduces her as a client and they invite me to sit down and have some lunch with them. For some reason I decide to (curiosity? hunger?) and take a seat. The conversation is neutral with focus about work and the like but what was so weird is that I felt like a thirdwheel, seriously. Like there was some tension between them and I was the outsider. After lunch we part ways and I head back uptown trying to figure out what was going on. That night when he gets home I start with the questions about her, the funny thing is it wasn''t because I was concerned about them but more like I was amused by what I felt, like he was just a friend and not my fiance''. He denies anything and I beleive him but our conversation turns to ourselves and why weren''t we in wedding plan mode. He comes out point blank and asks me why I was stalling in picking a date or planning the wedding. At that moment it hit me that I really was stalling things by using work as an excuse. I asked him why he never pushed it and he said he was waiting for me to do something...but if he really wanted to get married he would of pushed it right? We ended up talking to all hours of the night and I finally tell him I needed some space to figure things out and took the ring off to give it back to him. That''s when he started getting tears in his eyes and we both realized that it was over, for no apparant reason than we fell out of love somewhere along the way and were too busy to realize it. We tried to go back and analyze when we felt that way but we couldn''t pin point any defining moment. I asked him to honestly tell me about the girl and he said he felt something with her, a flirtation, an attraction but nothing had become of it. I asked him if he would make a move now that we were no longer and he said most likely not as he needed some space but maybe one day. And the crazy thing is it didn''t bother me..not even in the slightest. I went and stayed at a friends that night even though he said he wanted me to stay but I needed the space. It was a very emotional goodbye to say the least. It''s been a few weeks and I feel okay about things. I''ve gone through my moments when I''ve broken down and cried but we''ve spoken quite a few times and I feel like we could just manage to stay friends.
So there it is. I feel okay telling you all about this and actually feel pretty positive about things today. I know I''ll have my moments but I also know that this is the right thing for us. I''ll find someone again and this time I''ll not be able to wait to plan the wedding!
300x240.png)