Feminine Virtues

[HopeDream]

A recent thread got me thinking about the role of women today and what parts of the feminine identity change as society changes, and which ones remain the same. This is intended to be a light-hearted discussion.

Here''s my take:

I think that throught history women have been expected to be beautiful (although the definition of beauty changes with the culture and time). I think women are also expected to be compassionate, nurturing, and perhaps a little freer than men with communication and emotions (although this is changing).

Over the past 100 years with the advent of birthcontrol and feminine employment - women are stepping into the role of independant and self-sufficient individuals. Expectation of female intelligence has increased since the retirement of the corset. Presently gender equality is expected.

Past expected skill sets have been in the areas of homemaking and mothering, as well as gracious hostess, but more recently men have been taking a more active role, and some women have opted-out of the domestic skill set in favour of a more refined professional skill set in the workplace. Some women do their best to cultivate as many skill sets as possible. The roles of who does which household tasks in a romantic relationship varies depending on the couple and their backgrounds and interests.

The modern women is expected to know herself and her own mind, and be able to lead a satisfying life with or without a romantic partner.

What do you think? What is your definition of a modern woman of the 2010''s ?

 

[Indylady]

Modern woman=modern man.

 

[4ever]

I see women of this time being very conflicted about their gender roles. A mans role hasn''t changed much over the years; they are providers and protectors and live in the public sphere. Women have gone from the nurturer and homemaker, in the private sphere to being enabled and empowered to enter the public sphere and be a provider like men, a new role many woman have embraced.
However, many women still want to be nurturer, a mother and to some degrees a home maker as well as a provider (somthing I belive is often expected of a "modern woman") and this provides conflict. Some women feel that being a homemaker and mother now is not good enough and because women can now work in whichever feild they choose, they should because this allows women to live up to their potential and be equal to men and be empowered, where as if they stay at home they are repressed. As a result women feel pressure to do it all, maintain a perfect house, raise children, put dinner on the table every night, help out on school trips and also be successful in work, get promotions, bring in a respectable second income, gain a satisfaction in your work and so on.

 

[lightningbug]

Oh, wow...I feel FORTUNATE to have the opportunity to pursue whatever goals I want in whichever proportion that I choose. I definitely don''t feel the need to do it all. I have a great partner, though -- he supports and encourages all my choices, and picks up the slack wherever it falls.

Thank goodness for the women who lived before me and bore the brunt of breaking through gender barriers. (And thank goodness for the kick-ass men who supported their efforts.)

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

I think being a modern woman means being able to fill whatever role you want to fill.
We have the option of having successful careers outside the home, being successful homemakers, or anywhere in between.

"Feminism is the radical idea that women are people." -Anonymous

 

[KittyGolightly]

Date: 5/4/2010 7:18:30 PM
Author: IndyLady
Modern woman=modern man.

Amen, sister.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 5/4/2010 9:44:55 PM
Author: KittyGolightly

Date: 5/4/2010 7:18:30 PM
Author: IndyLady
Modern woman=modern man.

Amen, sister.

Another Amen from me!!!

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

Date: 5/4/2010 7:18:30 PM
Author: IndyLady
Modern woman=modern man.

There are clearly different pressures on men and women, so while I would hope and demand to receive fair treatment and equal opportunity as a woman, ignoring the differences would be like wearing blinders to block peripheral vision. We are not "equal". Putting aside all discrimination and incorrect stereotyping, the fact still remains that we are responsible for carrying and delivering babies. I think just that fact by itself changes things for men and women in American society!

 

[4ever]

Date: 5/4/2010 11:29:31 PM
Author: Guilty Pleasure

Date: 5/4/2010 7:18:30 PM
Author: IndyLady
Modern woman=modern man.

There are clearly different pressures on men and women, so while I would hope and demand to receive fair treatment and equal opportunity as a woman, ignoring the differences would be like wearing blinders to block peripheral vision. We are not ''equal''. Putting aside all discrimination and incorrect stereotyping, the fact still remains that we are responsible for carrying and delivering babies. I think just that fact by itself changes things for men and women in American society!

I agree with this. We may like to think that men an women are equal but we are not because to say we are equal is to ignore our important differences (such as the ability to create life which Guilty Pleasure pointed out) and we are very different. It is our differences that shape our experiences and understanding of the world. Do women want to be treated exactly the same as men? Probably not in all circumstances.

Also, women still experience gender discrimination in the work place; men get promoted faster then women and men in the same job get paid more. As "emotional" rather than "logical" beings, women are seen to be less suited to working life and are often treated accordingly. It is seen as weak or innapropriate to display feminie traits in the workplace such as showing too much emotion. The work place is a mans world so one is expected to behave more like a man, to make logical instead of emotional choices, to be tough and ruthless instead of nurturing. We are MORE equal because we are now allowed more choice, but we are far from workplace gender equality.

 

[PrincessNatalie]

I think in Australia any how, I cant talk for America, females who decide to raise a family are still seen to be the matriarch, it is not all that common to see a house husband, while at the same time being expected to assist adding to in the family income, although men will also help out with the housework these days. I often see new mothers going back into the work force with 3 - 6 month old babies.

So basically the new age woman is:
Focused on her career and an income earner
Also focused on raising her family
To some extent the primary housekeeper, depending on the household.

Although it is definitely on a per household basis and the roles within and who does what varies widely.

Though it is not really society forcing mothers back into the workforce so quickly, but the cost of living does not allow a family to survive on one income comfortably in low to mid income families in Australia.

 

[SAPHIRINA]

I definitely don''t believe men and women are equal, for all the reasons that have already been pointed out by others. What I do see around me, is that a woman is in many instances expected to fill too many roles at once. In many marriages, a woman is expected to contribute to the family financially (work full-time), keep the house, cook and raise the kids. While some men share household and child rearing responsibilities equally with their spouse, many only pitch in a little, and the woman is still the one doing majority of the work at home.

A friend of mine has three kids and works full time. Her husband also works full time. And, while he does help out around the house, the reality is that she is the one cooking dinner after coming home from work. She is the one who does major cleaning. And, she''s the one who is much more involved with the kids due to work schedule (she leaves for work earlier, and comes home earlier). Most of the time she''s exhausted and rarely has time for herself. While they are very well off financially, her husband expects her to keep working. It seems that the work she does at home and with the kids is not seen as such, but is expected, because she''s a woman. I have another friend in a similar situation, but she has one child, so it''s a bit easier for her.

I had talks on this topic with FI, and he agrees that we should both actively participate in keeping the house, cooking and raising kids (when we get there

), since we will both be working full-time, at least in the near future.

 

[LadyJane83]

I agree that a lot of women feel conflicted about their roles. People say that feminism and the women''s movement was about choice.... but I don''t necessarily see it that way. Years ago, most women were not able to work outside the home. Today, most women are not able to stay home full-time and raise children. I see it as more of a trade-off in a lot of ways.

I think that, as a whole, men are more willing to share with cooking, cleaning and child rearing than they have been in the past. I do think that a division of labor makes sense for those who choose to have children though, and it saddens me that I probably won''t be able to stay home with mine during their early years (neither will my husband).

I grew up in a progressive household and went to a womens college, so I''d obviously discussed women''s rights and feminist theory, etc. But I never actually felt the.... impact or importance (can''t find the right word).... of being a woman until I worked as a summer asscociate at a large law firm. I think we are kidding ourselves if we think we are equal to men in the work force. Maybe we''ll get there someday. Or maybe both men and women need to somehow redefine their roles.

In other words, although I think women are better off now than ever before, I still tend to think the system we have now sucks

 

[Erin]

I think women have the freedom to accomplish whatever we set our minds to - which has not always been the case. I also mean to say that while we have the freedom to attempt these achievements - the world around us may not allow us to succeed.

Women are expected to work, but men still feel an intense pressure to be the breadwinners - most women don''t know what that feels like.
Women who have children are expected to balance both equally and successfully - most men don''t know what that feels like.

 

[fuzzers]

I think modern women are trying to put too much on their plate, in terms of career, kids, etc. I read a study (I wish I could find it!) stating that women today are actually less happy than in the past, and I can believe that. That''s why I am going to take a slightly "old-fashioned" approach to life... I will have both career and kids, but family is top priority. That''s where my true happiness will be.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

Date: 5/5/2010 12:06:36 PM
Author: Starset Princess
I think women have the freedom to accomplish whatever we set our minds to - which has not always been the case. I also mean to say that while we have the freedom to attempt these achievements - the world around us may not allow us to succeed.


Women are expected to work, but men still feel an intense pressure to be the breadwinners - most women don't know what that feels like.

Women who have children are expected to balance both equally and successfully - most men don't know what that feels like.

I'm glad you brought that up SP. Men definitely have a set of expectations to live up to in our society as well.

Even when men and women have equal opportunities in the work place, the desire for a family can change their relative status. If a man has a family, he may or may not even need paternity leave. If a woman becomes pregnant, even if she keeps the same job and is able to return to it later, she will be "behind" her male counterparts. Women must make a choice that men do not have to make.