Ex GF that just can''t take no for an answer!!!

[LitigatorChick]

In July, I vented about my FI''s ex contacting him with drunk phone calls and "I want you back" texts/emails. Here''s my thread. https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/ex-gf-returns.120091/page-2

Well, SHE''S BACK........

She emailed him Tuesday night to say "hi". Yah right. GO AWAY!!!!!! This girl has one goal and one goal only - getting my FI back.

I am furious with her. I want to email or phone her and give her a piece of my mind.

 

[jcarlylew]

ew! i''d punch her in the nose for you, if i could.

 

[Lauren8211]

Saying anything to her would only fuel the fire. She wants to get under your skin... and it''s working!

If you truly trust your FI, you can trust him to handle it.

Eventually she''ll run out of energy and run off and torment some other couple.

 

[Winks_Elf]

Two words: restraining order!

Seriously, your FI needs to write back to her, copy a friend (openly, not bcc), and basically give her a cease and desist letter. If she contacts him again, he needs to file a restraining order against her for harassment.

 

[dani2142]

This biatch needs to back off!!! You need to tell your fiance''s that this is really getting to you and on top of everything else you have going on (i saw your other post today) he needs to deal with her. It doesn''t make sense to me why she is still contacting your fiance? Has he told her that there is no way in heck he would ever leave you? Do you know what i mean? If he did, i can''t think of any reason why this crazy biatch wouldn''t just let you guys be happy and move on with her life instead of looking like pathetic loser.

I would say that if and when your fiance'' tells this biatch to back off and leave you guys be, if she still doesn''t then you need to give her a piece of your mind.

Sorry you are going through this on top of everything else. I really hope that your fiance'' isn''t doing anything to keep her in the picture. Please don''t get upset by that statement. I don''t know him or you at all I just wanted to throw that out there because it could be a possibility.

 

[winelover23]

Ooooh, I''d be in the "I want to punch her in the ovaries" club because if my BF''s ex contacted him it would be "on"! HOWEVER, I agree with Elle...don''t fuel the fire. I do think that your FI needs to contact her and demand her to stop and if she doesn''t, it''s time to change all the personal info i.e. cell phone, email addresses etc.

I have a psycho ex-husband that I know my BF would like to drop kick but he is really good about letting me handle it myself which I actually think is for the best.

Good luck hon, I can only imagine your frustration!

 

[ms.halo]

Date: 10/2/2009 12:22:51 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Saying anything to her would only fuel the fire. She wants to get under your skin... and it''s working!


If you truly trust your FI, you can trust him to handle it.


Eventually she''ll run out of energy and run off and torment some other couple.

+1

Ignore, delete and move on. She''ll be so less satisfied that way.

 

[dani2142]

Date: 10/2/2009 12:35:31 PM
Author: ms.halo

Date: 10/2/2009 12:22:51 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Saying anything to her would only fuel the fire. She wants to get under your skin... and it''s working!


If you truly trust your FI, you can trust him to handle it.


Eventually she''ll run out of energy and run off and torment some other couple.

+1

Ignore, delete and move on. She''ll be so less satisfied that way.

Thinking about it more. I think I agree that maybe you guys should just both ignore her and she''ll go away. Do you think? Your fiance'' knows her, so he should know what would be best. Man, I don''t know. What a PIA. I''d be livid.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 10/2/2009 12:39:23 PM
Author: dani2142

Date: 10/2/2009 12:35:31 PM
Author: ms.halo

Date: 10/2/2009 12:22:51 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Saying anything to her would only fuel the fire. She wants to get under your skin... and it''s working!


If you truly trust your FI, you can trust him to handle it.


Eventually she''ll run out of energy and run off and torment some other couple.

+1

Ignore, delete and move on. She''ll be so less satisfied that way.

Thinking about it more. I think I agree that maybe you guys should just both ignore her and she''ll go away. Do you think? Your fiance'' knows her, so he should know what would be best. Man, I don''t know. What a PIA. I''d be livid.

Typically I find that people like that, when you ignore them, end up making an idiot out of themselves and disappearing. Usually you can just stand back and watch the show.

Besides... we have better things to do than waste energy on some hussy who think her flirty, winky emoticons are going to lure your SO back to her.

 

[TooPatient]

DO NOT DELETE HER MESSAGES


B has a crazy ex and he kept deleting stuff. We wound up with attorneys and courts involved. The messages (phone & e-mail) he deleted would have been a huge help and may have saved us a lot of time, money, and stress.

The messages he forwarded to me and I kept were a huge help. I think without them the court stuff would have turned out much worse than it did.


Ignore her (but keep ALL messages regardless of how unimportant they seem). Or if they are bad enough have a barister (sorry if this isn''t the right person to deal with her, I''m not too familiar with Canadian court stuff) send her a letter telling her that she is to stop all communications with him. If she HAS to get a message to him (like if there are kids or something) then she can contact his legal person.

 

[purrfectpear]

Date: 10/2/2009 12:15:57 PM
Author:LitigatorChick
In July, I vented about my FI''s ex contacting him with drunk phone calls and ''I want you back'' texts/emails. Here''s my thread. https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/ex-gf-returns.120091/page-2

Well, SHE''S BACK........

She emailed him Tuesday night to say ''hi''. Yah right. GO AWAY!!!!!! This girl has one goal and one goal only - getting my FI back.

I am furious with her. I want to email or phone her and give her a piece of my mind.

Why? Do you own him? Seems like this is his business, and up to him to handle. What would you say "leave my FI alone, he''s MINE"? Maybe you don''t mind sounding like an insecure teenager, but I think I''d pass on the giving of a piece of mind.

 

[princesss]

Relax. He loves you, he knows what to do. Hug your guy and be content with the fact that she has no hold on him anymore.

 

[monarch64]

LC--I''m in a similar situation to yours. First because I can''t get my ex to sign divorce papers, 2nd because I''m now in a wonderful relationship with someone I''m very much in love with, and 3rd because he has a crazed individual who also will not leave him alone. She doesn''t even have a name, she has a nickname and it is "window banger." Not kidding. I''m staying out of it entirely, I know how he feels about me and I know how he DOESN''T feel about her.

What I find most distateful about these things is how pathetic women come across when they refuse to pick themselves up and move on for good. It makes me embarrassed FOR them. I find myself shaking my head and going "who DOES that???"

 

[kittybean]

I don''t think you would really accomplish much by giving her a piece of your mind. It''s fine to be annoyed and frustrated, but (to be cliche) don''t stoop to her level. She won''t keep it up forever. You''re not at risk of losing your FI, so why bother with someone who just plain doesn''t matter?

 

[Bia]

Ignore. By ignoring the "hi," he''s pretty much sending the message, "Leave me alone!"

It was just a hi anyway. Now, if she starts sending nudey pics, or showing up on your doorstep, that''s a different story. Then you take the b**** down.

 

[Bliss]

I wonder if you can have them go to spam. I blocked all of my exes by setting up e-mail filters - they go directly to my trash. For texts that won''t stop, unfortunately, he might have to change phone numbers.

Of course, if you feel she could be endangering you or your fiance - I would keep them for future evidence. Sorry you have to go through this. How awful. I don''t understand why some women break the sacred trust of sisterhood. It''s some serious bad mojo she''s generating and it almost always boomerangs back. I''d just steer clear of the bad karma she''s creating for herself right now.

 

[Stone Hunter]

I''m so sorry, that sounds like a real PAIN!

I too think you/he should save all of the messages in case you need them for a restraining order or court action later on. And I think you should just ignore her and not respond since your response could be used against you.

Good Luck

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 10/2/2009 3:51:30 PM
Author: Bia
Ignore. By ignoring the ''hi,'' he''s pretty much sending the message, ''Leave me alone!''

It was just a hi anyway. Now, if she starts sending nudey pics, or showing up on your doorstep, that''s a different story. Then you take the b**** down.

I told B early on that I would ignore the constantly ringing phone (which he quit answering once the ex took the kid) and crazy e-mails (which he quit responding to once she took the kid) but if she EVER showed up at our door I would have our attorney on the phone and she''d be hauled off by the police.


B didn''t want to keep all the e-mails (too painful for him) so he forwarded to me and I archived them in case they were needed. (which they were -- several times). Another thing to hang onto is phone records showing how often she calls.
If it gets bad enough, you might send all of the archived e-mails & messages to a legal person so they can be up to date on what is happening.

 

[KittyBling]

Just ignore it. I was in a similar situation with my SO. His crazy ex kept calling him and sending him messages on FB. He blocked her but then she kept making random accounts and finding him through mutual friends and sending him messages again. He kept ignoring her calls and messages and eventually she fell off the face of the earth.

 

[CNOS128]

I agree with the advice to ignore this woman.

But if I were in your situation, I would request that my husband NOT inform me every time this woman got in contact with him. You and he gain nothing from him letting you know that she''s in touch. Aside from making you needlessly upset, I don''t understand the purpose of you having to hear about it.

 

[absolut_blonde]

TRUST me: ignore her. She *wants* to piss you off. If you get all worked up, it will stroke her ego because she will think you feel threatened.

And, since you know she''s not a threat, it''s really not that big a deal IMHO. Annoying? Yes. Worth losing sleep over? Not really. She''s just lonely and frankly, a little bit pathetic. Why would you let someone like that ruffle your feathers?

He should block her e-mails (or mark them as spam), block her on Facebook, cut her out in every way possible. He may have to change his phone number if it''s a cell as most providers don''t allow you to block incoming calls on a cellphone. But basically, no response and no attention because that is what she is seeking. [Speaking from experience with my own persistent ex]

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 10/2/2009 5:09:31 PM
Author: TheBigT
I agree with the advice to ignore this woman.

But if I were in your situation, I would request that my husband NOT inform me every time this woman got in contact with him. You and he gain nothing from him letting you know that she''s in touch. Aside from making you needlessly upset, I don''t understand the purpose of you having to hear about it.

I actually wanted to know when B''s crazy ex contacted him. Helped me know what was going on and I wasn''t shocked when the court stuff came up. And I knew it bugged him and he needed someone to vent to about it.

 

[HopeDream]

I'm sorry this is happening to you Litigator chick!

My sister had an ex-boyfriend who just wouldn't leave her alone - (a year after they had broken up), even though she tried to cut contact with him many many many times. Finaly my sister spoke to a couple of his friends about the problem and they were able to talk to him and make him see reason.

If you aren't ready to jump to the restraining order, maybe your FI could speak to some of her friends and let them know about her behaviour. I'm sure her friends don't want to see her act like a crazy person (especialy if they know about a potential restraining order) and their outside perspective may help her see reason (and that he has already moved on).

People in emotional pain can behave completely irrationaly and don't even realize they're doing it until someone else holds up a mirror.

Social pressure works!

I hope all the best for you and your FI, and a satisfying resolution.

 

[Girlrocks]

Date: 10/2/2009 3:51:30 PM
Author: Bia
Ignore. By ignoring the ''hi,'' he''s pretty much sending the message, ''Leave me alone!''

It was just a hi anyway. Now, if she starts sending nudey pics, or showing up on your doorstep, that''s a different story. Then you take the b**** down.

 

[ckrickett]

Alot of good advice from these ladies. Yes she is overstepping boundaries but she is overstepping your FI bounaries not yours. That doesn''t make her a gem of a woman but you need to trust your FI to handle this. There is a reason she is an ex and you are his FI.

good luck!

 

[D&T]

Date: 10/3/2009 8:58:01 AM
Author: ckrickett
Alot of good advice from these ladies. Yes she is overstepping boundaries but she is overstepping your FI bounaries not yours. That doesn''t make her a gem of a woman but you need to trust your FI to handle this. There is a reason she is an ex and you are his FI.

good luck!

agreed.

sorry you are dealing with this, Ignore her - and don''t encourage her to write back by responding.

 

[jaylex]

Date: 10/2/2009 1:25:15 PM
Author: purrfectpear

Date: 10/2/2009 12:15:57 PM
Author:LitigatorChick
In July, I vented about my FI's ex contacting him with drunk phone calls and 'I want you back' texts/emails. Here's my thread. https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/ex-gf-returns.120091/page-2

Well, SHE'S BACK........

She emailed him Tuesday night to say 'hi'. Yah right. GO AWAY!!!!!! This girl has one goal and one goal only - getting my FI back.

I am furious with her. I want to email or phone her and give her a piece of my mind.

Why? Do you own him? Seems like this is his business, and up to him to handle. What would you say 'leave my FI alone, he's MINE'? Maybe you don't mind sounding like an insecure teenager, but I think I'd pass on the giving of a piece of mind.

Woah, purrfect.. I'd say that's a little harsh. If my fiance's ex was still trying to contact him I would consider it my business. Does she own him? No more or no less than he "owns" her. I'd say that being someones fiancee gives you a lot of "ownership" (if you HAVE to call it that) over someone. It's a huge commitment and although I agree that she should ignore the B****, does LC have a right to lay claim on him and be pissed off by this relentless intruder? You better believe it, sister! What is Mr. LC doing by putting a ring on her finger and proposing? Besides making a lifelong commitment, you know that it's by some fraction a sign to other men saying "back off! This woman is MINE!". LC has the right to feel that way towards her FI, IMO.


And to LC: When my fiance (then bf's) exs would contact him it was more of a "now that you've been with Jaylex for ___ years, don't you think it's time to give me another chance? it's only fair." ect. They (two different girls) would call, myspace message him, and instant message him (yeah, this was awhile ago). What FINALLY made them stop was not him making it PERFECTLY clear that he was happily taken and that he had no interest in them or anyone else (which he did do every time they contacted him).. It was him instantly deleting every myspace message, ignoring every call and instant message and leaving it at that. As long as he was giving them any kind of response (even a negative one) he realized that it made them "fight" more for the attention. As soon as they realized he wasn't playing their games, they got bored and eventually moved on.

Did I want to give them a piece of my mind? For sure. But as long as my fiance handled it, I knew I didn't have to worry about it.
Just ignore her and tell FI to do the same. Problem (should be) solved!
Good luck!

 

[bee*]

Definitely ignore the email LC and don''t call/email her back. If she gets any attention from these emails, good or bad, it will make her continue to send them. By ignoring them, it shows that your FI has moved on.

 

[LitigatorChick]

He wrote her back and told her not to contact him anymore - that it was disrespectful and inappropriate. Their relationship ended over a year ago, and there was no reason for them to communicate.

Guess what - she wrote back!!!! What a nut job! She said it was sad that I was so jealous of her and that maybe our relationship was in trouble. WTF!!! She doesn''t even know me or anything about me!!! Richard and I are ignoring her. So sad.

I am keeping the emails, both electronically and in hard copy. If this continues to escalate, I will be going to the courts to stop this insanity!!!

 

[LitigatorChick]

Date: 10/2/2009 1:44:07 PM
Author: monarch64
LC--I''m in a similar situation to yours. First because I can''t get my ex to sign divorce papers, 2nd because I''m now in a wonderful relationship with someone I''m very much in love with, and 3rd because he has a crazed individual who also will not leave him alone. She doesn''t even have a name, she has a nickname and it is ''window banger.'' Not kidding. I''m staying out of it entirely, I know how he feels about me and I know how he DOESN''T feel about her.

What I find most distateful about these things is how pathetic women come across when they refuse to pick themselves up and move on for good. It makes me embarrassed FOR them. I find myself shaking my head and going ''who DOES that???''

Monarch64, I had no idea we were twins!!! Hang in there.