Engagement 101?

[diamond12]

To all the LIW does anyone know of any engagement or should I say pre-engagment classes out there for all these
"clueless" men? This might help them and get them better prepaired for not saying "when the time is right." or " it will happen soon". or ????
Sorry I just needed to vent.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

My favorite I''ve gotten so far is "when you calm down".

I laugh every time I think of it because compared to some girls, I''m so laid back with him about it. I vent to my friends and to this board. I tend to keep my freak out episodes to myself

 

[TravelingGal]

Here you go. Traveling Gal's cynical guide to engagement...

Engagement 101 for men...

1. Do not tell your girlfriends that you will propose when they calm down and chill out about getting engaged. This will only cause them to hospitalizable heart palpitations, or possibly grow another head.

2. Please see the below definitions of "soon":

adv. soon•er, soon•est
-In the near future; shortly.
-Without hesitation; promptly: came as soon as possible.
-Before the usual or appointed time; early.
-With willingness; readily:

Therefore if the year you are thinking of proposing has different numbers than the one you are in now, REFRAIN from using this word. The meaning of "soon" to an engagement crazed female is literally "yesterday."

3. Do not. I repeat, DO NOT buy anything of value over $100 for yourself during the stretch of time before your engagement. Your girlfriend's normally illogical mind will turn into a human calculator and compute all the items including tax and restrocking fees. She'll feel totally down the priorities list and quite possibly have a freak out, which usually leads to an episode of engagement tip #1.

4. No matter how much she says she will LOVE any ring you buy for her, she is lying. This may come as a shock to you, but women have been known to lie. Do not shop at a mall...that's a place for your girlfriend to shop at. Do not buy from any vendor who is wearing more than one ring per hand. If the vendor is wearing a gold nugget ring, get the hell out of dodge.

5. Do not say things like "I don't understand why we need a piece of paper…it doesn't change things between us." JUST a piece of paper?!? Is that what you think? Well so is the roll of Charmin in your bathroom...it's important...accept it and move on.

6. Do not tease or torment your lady about the engagement plans. Sure, it's all fun and games to you now, but who will be laughing when you are married and she withholds the nookie? Payback’s a b*tch, dude.

7. You're competitive right? You like your fantasy football team to win. You work hard to get promoted in your job first. Life's just awesome when you clean house when the boys have poker night.

Well getting engaged is a competition too. You want to beat all her friends' boyfriends to the punch. You'll get extra points if you come in first, but your girlfriend will probably be happy if you don't come in dead last. Who wants to be with a loser?

8. The TALK will happen several times. Always at inopportune moments like the last 5 minutes of a close football game. Get used to it. There will always be a TALK about something in life. The TALK is part of a woman’s genetic code and if you don't like it, start batting for the other team. Tread carefully, as your words and actions can easily trigger a #1, and don't, for pete's sake, say the word "soon" unless you mean it (see #2).


Engagement 101 for women...

1. Calm down. Chill out. Please.

 

[Sha]

Travelling Gal, that is priceless!!

Sooo funny and so true! I especially like #3. I definitely did the human calculator thing a lot in my LIW days...(ahhh...a whole month ago). I remember my FI took me out to a fancy restaurant for my birthday, two months before we got engaged, and I couldn''t help thinking, "This money could''ve been spent on my ring!"

I think all LIWS should print this off and give it to their boyfriends.

 

[emilina22]

i love it i just emailed him the 1o1 code of engagement ethics haha he knows i send fun stuff like that all the time, thank god i got myslef a guy wth an awesome sense of humor!!!

but travelinggirl GOOD JOB those are great points to remember!

 

[bubbly1126]

TravelingGal... Where did you get that? Did you come up with it yourself?

That is AWESOME in every sense of the word!!!!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 9/26/2007 3:10:02 PM
Author: bubbly1126
TravelingGal... Where did you get that? Did you come up with it yourself?

That is AWESOME in every sense of the word!!!!

Thanks. Yes, I wrote it today as I thought it could be used around the LIW forum. I've been bitten by the creative bug lately. Monograms and humor. Just don't ask me to write poetry today...although I normally do that too...

ETA, oops I realized I have a typo in tip #1. It should be "cause them to HAVE..."

ETA #2, I spelled restocking wrong! I guess I should use spell check! LOL...

 

[bee*]

LOL TGal!!

 

[dec2410]

TravelingGal - I had to hold back from laughing OUT LOUD at work. This is absolutely priceless and my boyfriendis definitely going to be reading this! Hahaha!

 

[diamond12]

Traveling gal, your awesome. You came up with such brilliant words. If i could give back all the Louis Vuitton''s he''s bought for me, I''d have a ring by now! I''m sure purses are less "commital" than a ring would be. He just spent $300.00 on cigars last night. Trust me, I bit my tongue.

 

[bubbly1126]

300 on cigars? wow. lol.

But speaking of, 2 weeks ago our computer broke (the reason I haven''t posted anything in a while) and he gets all pissy and gripes about having to buy a new computer. I figured with the expense that I definitely wouldn''t be getting my proposal any time soon so I dealt with that and so... one night he goes to the mall to look at COMPUTERS... and comes home with an X-Box 360!!! I was beyond pissed!! Because for one he complained about having to fork out the money for a new computer and then goes and spends even more money on something so unnecessary!

I was so mad and he knew it... try to be all nicey nice with me and I just ignored him. I didn''t fight with him about b/c I feel there is no point. So I shut my mouth and got over it.

But yeah, my birthday is in less than a month and our anniversary is november so I''m guessing I''m not getting something really shiney!

GRR!!

 

[nessvan12]

LAMO...OMG...so funny and soooooo true! My BF will be reading this tonight!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Kudos to you Bubbs for witholding your true feelings about the XBox 360. I would have been LIVID!!!!

 

[CrookedRock]

OMG! That list is amazing!!! You should put it in its own thread so that it can always be found. ''The LIW Rules''

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 9/26/2007 6:13:34 PM
Author: CrookedRock
OMG! That list is amazing!!! You should put it in its own thread so that it can always be found. ''The LIW Rules''

Haha...I believe it should be called "The Rules of Engagement"

.

If people want me to repost it, I can, but I figure that the title of this thread is pretty easy to find too.

 

[luckystar112]

I don''t know how I missed this earlier...

I''m forwarding it to my LIW friend right now!

 

[Kayakqueen83]

Traveling gal that is AWESOME! It made me laugh harder then I have all day! Thanks!