Am I Reading Too Much Into This?

[CNYHopeful]

So last weekend, we''re having dinner at my boyfriend''s house. He had his parents, his sister and her best friend (ex-boyfriend) over. The backstory is that his sister and her friend used to date way back in high school and 8 years later he''s madly in love with her and everybody thinks they should get married except for her. So over dinner she shows me this absolutely stunning white gold diamond ring with a gorgeous sapphire in the middle that her friend gave her for her birthday. So, I told her I love the ring, but I think my slight jealousy came out. They aren''t even dating!

Now, over a year ago I told my boyfriend that I love saphires and wouldn''t mind having a couple on a certain ring when the time came. My BF bought a house 5 months ago and has been telling me about all of the winter payments he''s concerned about and that it''ll be awhile before he can save up enough to provide for a proper wedding & ring. I know he has a good amount saved already though. The thing that got my attention was after showing me the ring, his sister says to my boyfriend "Remind me I have to give you my work schedule so we can get dad''s Christmas present this week". Part of me wishes that that was code for looking at engagement rings, but I don''t want to be reading in to this too much. We''ve decided that we''re not going to look at rings together.

What do you think?

 

[KCCutie]

Sorry, but I do think you''re reading a little too much into this.

It''s really hard not to, trust me I know, but you''ll be better off if you can just convince yourself that they really are going christmas present shopping for their dad. That way if they do happen to look at a ring or two it''ll just be an unexpected surprise and you won''t be disappointed when he comes home with a present for his dad and is really proud of himself. Remind yourself that he loves you and he is working on it and he wants it to be perfect, sometimes that helps me take a step a back and realize the wait will be worth it.

 

[swingirl]

Patience! I don''t think it would be necessary for his sister to "remind" your boyfriend in front of you if he was trying to surprise you. Take your boyfriend''s word for it when he says he needs to recover from his recent house purchase. A surprise is better than disappointment.

 

[Bia]

I think it would be wise to not read into it, if you can help it. If it was code for, "remember we are going to look for your girl''s ring this week," then that''s fantastic, but definitely sweetie, don''t get your hopes up--its just so not worth it.

If your guy is saying the mortgage payments will keep him from buying your ring this year, then allow yourself to believe that. If hes got a surprise in store, thats awesome but obviously he wants it to be a total surprise.

Speaking as a LIW, I have had to force myself to stop overthinking all of the possibilities. BF is going to do it when he''s ready to, and that''s that.

Either way, good luck!

 

[bee*]

Date: 10/9/2008 2:43:17 PM
Author: swingirl
Patience! I don''t think it would be necessary for his sister to ''remind'' your boyfriend in front of you if he was trying to surprise you. Take your boyfriend''s word for it when he says he needs to recover from his recent house purchase. A surprise is better than disappointment.

ditto!! I really do think that you''re reading too much into what his sister said.

 

[CNYHopeful]

Thank you all. It is all good advice. I am overthinking this and I don''t want to pressure him anymore than he feels already. I guess I figure if I share my thoughts with the forum that maybe I won''t feel as anxious around him.

Do any of you find that you over-think things more when you share them with other people? Or do you get it off your chest and then put things into proper perspective afterwards?

 

[purrfectpear]

How in the world did you read ring shopping into that?

I think his dad is getting a nice present for xmas.

Seriously girl, you need to find a new hobby

 

[CNYHopeful]

I know I''m pathetic, but there''s something about love that makes a woman go crazy and I guess I''ve gone crazy.

This whole impatience thing is new to me and usually I''m the one giving advice about having perspective and all. That''s why I''m asking if it''s worth posting.

 

[cbs102]

Date: 10/9/2008 3:59:54 PM
Author: CNYHopeful
I know I''m pathetic, but there''s something about love that makes a woman go crazy and I guess I''ve gone crazy.

This whole impatience thing is new to me and usually I''m the one giving advice about having perspective and all. That''s why I''m asking if it''s worth posting.

well i do not think that you are ''pathetic''..just anxious. it will happen. and if you constantly read into things than you are going to become one depressed girl. every little thing that you two do you will wonder and when it does not happen you will become disappointed. its not a healthy way to live!

 

[jcarlylew82]

Date: 10/9/2008 2:43:17 PM
Author: swingirl
Patience! I don''t think it would be necessary for his sister to ''remind'' your boyfriend in front of you if he was trying to surprise you. Take your boyfriend''s word for it when he says he needs to recover from his recent house purchase. A surprise is better than disappointment.

yep, 100% agree. but it IS super hard, i know!