Am I being ridiculous? Looking for honest, objective opinion

[swingirl]

Re: Am I being ridiculous? Looking for honest, objective opi

A diamond ring is something you will look at everyday for decades to come--and can be inherited. A dirt bike gets crashed into the dirt, bent, broken and worn out in a few years (let's not even consider the gear!!). Your ring should be worth several dirt bikes!!

 

[Olympias]

Re: Am I being ridiculous? Looking for honest, objective opi

Oh how I understand you... Still fighting for the curtains but he recently bought himself a nice toy. That's his money after all and he should spend it as he sees fit. I have my own and don't mind providing for the household

If you read my thread you will see that we made a compromise but it is actually the wrong one haha We went to a local jeweller who did a "mock up" of both rings and I we disliked the 5 stones so we both picked the 3 stones and instead of the 1.5carat-2carat I initially wanted, I got a 1.25ct E VS2 Ideal cut
He bumped his budget a little bit and I scaled down even more the elopment so the money he won't spend for the elopment actually went into the ring.

I also realised that he would never change, would never care about spending money on me/for me as I never gave him that habit. Why should he spend so much money on me while he never had to in the past? And I think that was something I did not understand at first.. If you haven't used your significant other to give you small gifts (if that's not in his nature that is) then I don't see why he should make an exception for that one time..

Don't fret too much about that and just accept that he will never become that guy who cares about that ring

 

[16ocean]

Re: Am I being ridiculous? Looking for honest, objective opi


"Post by missy » 22 Nov 2013 06:16
No you are not being ridiculous. Why he should care about this is that it matters to you. If something is important to one partner it should take significance to the other. That's the way a partnership should work. Your FI thinks nothing of dropping 10K (every year!) on a motorcycle (which personally I think of as a donorcycle but nevermind about that none of my business) and yet he cannot understand why the ring you will be wearing forever and always every single day cannot cost more than a fraction of what he spends on himself?

From my outside perspective and given only what you have shared with us that sounds selfish and immature on his part. Sorry if I am coming across harshly but that's exactly what I am thinking here. Not OK from my perspective and I think you need a heart to heart talk with him because while this is *just* a ring it symbolizes a lot more in your relationship. Namely how you guys will deal with future disagreements/value assessments and judgment calls. It's OK to have different points of view but what is not OK is one partner saying your POV isn't important. He can afford the ring you want and this matters to you so therefore it should be important to him to get it for you. IMO.

Hoping you guys can successfully work through this issue. This is about more than just a ring and that is why it is important to work it out to your satisfaction and allow him to see why it should matter to him if it matters to you."

Have to ditto what Missy and so many other previous posters said.

No you are not being ridiculous.
I too hope you can successfully work through this bump and can use the communication and insight you gain to continue to strengthen your relationship.