Yesterday daughter #2 totaled her car...

[Deactivated member 42515]

Curious. And I'm sorry if this has already come up, but how old is DD#2?

 

[chrono]

YT,
DF's DD2 is 26 years old.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

YT,
DF's DD2 is 26 years old.

Thanks. So, then my next question would be why you would buy her a new car? She's an adult.

 

[movie zombie]

DF said in another thread that she is 26........

 

[chrono]

So, then my next question would be why you would buy her a new car? She's an adult.

She can't find a job with her degree, so she's gone back to school and is working part time. Sounds like DF isn't forking out additional money (using insurance payout) but is helping her find a car. He likes to rile us up with his wording, making things sound more exciting than it should.

 

[ringbling17]

I am happy that your daughter is safe and sound and no other passengers/cars/property were injured!

I do think that you are a loving father and I would have appreciated if my parents were like you when I was the same age as your children are.

Nursing school is hard (aren't you paying for that as well), and working part time won't pay for a new car, but I would definitely see what the insurance company will give you first and see if it is enough to cover the cost of a small used car.

We can all say what we want, and I don't know if I was in your situation if I would help pay for my twenty something year old's car, but our kids are our kids and we do for them what we can, if we can.

I am sure your daughters will appreciate what you have done for them over the years and repay you when you are old by taking care of you the way you have done them.

 

[zoebartlett]

you already know you're going to take care of this for her so I'm not sure what the real question is........

I think DF just wants to get the ladies all huffing and puffing over nothing.

Yeah, I think I fell for it.

 

[AprilBaby]

Time to be big girls and make car payments like the other big girls. Glad she is not hurt!

 

[MissGotRocks]

No, she gets insurance money and help looking for a car but. . . she's going to have to figure this out for herself. This is the real world - bailing her out will only lead to having to do it again - maybe for both daughters if daughter number one is watching this closely!

 

[ruby59]

you already know you're going to take care of this for her so I'm not sure what the real question is........

I think DF just wants to get the ladies all huffing and puffing over nothing.

Yeah, I think I fell for it.

OK, now I understand the comment about the diamond tennis bracelet in the other thread. I always thought DF expected people to pull their own weight.

 

[Karl_K]

Give her the insurance money and make her buy her own car... with your help of course but not adding a penny to the pot.
Then tell daughter #1 to grow up if she is jealous.
I dunno why you ask, we all know they have you wrapped around their pinkies and you will buy both brand new cars then complain about it on here.

That's what we decided to do with help from her bf.

uhuh report back when she has a car.
For some reason I have a hard time believing that.
Good for you if you can stick too it.

being serious for a second I am glad that she is ok and no one was hurt.

 

[kenny]

If I had kids they'd buy their own cars and pay for their own college tuition, just like I did.

 

[qtiekiki]

Give her the insurance money and make her buy her own car... with your help of course but not adding a penny to the pot.
Then tell daughter #1 to grow up if she is jealous.
I dunno why you ask, we all know they have you wrapped around their pinkies and you will buy both brand new cars then complain about it on here.

That's what we decided to do with help from her bf.

One guy won't bail out her totally, so a second guy will finish the job??? She can certainly work more than 15 hours a week while going to school.

 

[aljdewey]

thank God she is fine and didn't needed to go to the hospital.

here is the dilemma... .. if I buy daughter #2 a new car then daughter #1 will most likely be jealous, so IYO, what should I do?... buy her a used car of the same value as the one she just totaled? we do have an extra car but IDK if I wanted her to drive my truck.

Um.....I can help.

You should buy me the new car, and I'll give your DD my existing car. DD2 won't get a new car, so DD1 won't get jealous.

We're good, right?!

 

[msop04]

thank God she is fine and didn't needed to go to the hospital.

here is the dilemma... .. if I buy daughter #2 a new car then daughter #1 will most likely be jealous, so IYO, what should I do?... buy her a used car of the same value as the one she just totaled? we do have an extra car but IDK if I wanted her to drive my truck.

I'm sorry to hear about her accident, but I'm glad she's okay. When I totalled my car in college, my dad said I could buy a used car with whatever money the insurance company would give us. I wasn't super happy, but it was fair. FWIW, I wouldn't buy a new car if she just wrecked one.

 

[rosetta]

DF, I was an independent full time doctor at the age of 23. It's time you let your daughters grow up. I can't believe you're talking about a 26 year old, plus the jealousy of a daughter who is even older! They aren't teenagers who must run to daddy for every little thing. They need to sort their own transportation and lives out at this point. I'm glad she wasn't hurt but deeply unimpressed that you think buying her a new car is appropriate at her age. I'm sure a grown woman can arrange and pay for her own used car.

Apologies if I got that wrong and she's a 16 year old in full time school.

 

[Kaleigh]

I know you are daddy to the rescue and understand that emotion. But at times we have to back away and say thank god you are ok. But sweetie, you have to learn how to handle these things...

I know I am going through it with DS. I won't cave into this.. Just can't. But someone has to deliver a teacheable moment. I am not in the make believe all is fine mode... My issue isn't car related but relevant about being responsible and taking care of their own stuff..
Vent over...

Hope all works out with you and your DD. Just so thankful she is ok...

 

[luv2sparkle]

I would let her buy her own car at 26. You could help her in finding it and getting a good deal but as sweet as it is for you to want to buy it for her, she is old enough to buy it for herself.

Believe me, I still struggle with this with my daughter who is 31. I have to force myself not to want to make every single thing ok for her.
A little struggle is good for her in making her appreciate what she has. But it is hard almost every time.

I am so thankful she is ok for you both.

 

[ForteKitty]

Give her the insurance money and make her buy her own car... with your help of course but not adding a penny to the pot.
Then tell daughter #1 to grow up if she is jealous.
I dunno why you ask, we all know they have you wrapped around their pinkies and you will buy both brand new cars then complain about it on here.

That's what we decided to do with help from her bf.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Her boyfriend is contributing to her new car? Is this the older bf that you and your wife disapprove of? Is he helping her find a car? Or is he contributing money towards it? Sorry, but my mom would never allow a guy to pay for my car, even part of it. Once you owe a man, you pay back those favors in other ways...

 

[missy]

I know you are daddy to the rescue and understand that emotion. But at times we have to back away and say thank god you are ok. But sweetie, you have to learn how to handle these things...

I know I am going through it with DS. I won't cave into this.. Just can't. But someone has to deliver a teacheable moment. I am not in the make believe all is fine mode... My issue isn't car related but relevant about being responsible and taking care of their own stuff..
Vent over...

Hope all works out with you and your DD. Just so thankful she is ok...

Yes, sometimes it is much more valuable to teach adult children the lesson they need to step up to the plate and be an adult. Life isn't always handed to you on a silver platter and by enabling them to remain so dependent on you for things they really should be handling themselves you aren't doing them any favors in the long run. The main thing is she came out of the accident A-OK so the rest is gravy. Let her use the insurance money and buy what she can afford. Sure you will always want to protect her-you are her loving father and she is your dd and that's the way it should be. But remember that wise saying.

Give a woman a fish and you feed her for a day; teach a woman to fish and you feed her for a lifetime.

And I definitely wouldn't want her bf chipping in...unless they are engaged.

 

[msop04]

DF, I was an independent full time doctor at the age of 23. It's time you let your daughters grow up. I can't believe you're talking about a 26 year old, plus the jealousy of a daughter who is even older! They aren't teenagers who must run to daddy for every little thing. They need to sort their own transportation and lives out at this point. I'm glad she wasn't hurt but deeply unimpressed that you think buying her a new car is appropriate at her age. I'm sure a grown woman can arrange and pay for her own used car.

Apologies if I got that wrong and she's a 16 year old in full time school.

Wow, rosetta! How did you do that?? I had just turned 24 when I graduated from pharmacy school, and that was only 6 years!!

HS (17-1 + 4 years pre-med (21-22) + 4 years med (25-26) + residency (26+)...
Child prodigy, for sure! ...but seriously, how did you do it?

Sorry for the threadjack, DF!!

 

[msop04]

Give her the insurance money and make her buy her own car... with your help of course but not adding a penny to the pot.
Then tell daughter #1 to grow up if she is jealous.
I dunno why you ask, we all know they have you wrapped around their pinkies and you will buy both brand new cars then complain about it on here.

That's what we decided to do with help from her bf.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Her boyfriend is contributing to her new car? Is this the older bf that you and your wife disapprove of? Is he helping her find a car? Or is he contributing money towards it? Sorry, but my mom would never allow a guy to pay for my car, even part of it. Once you owe a man, you pay back those favors in other ways...

 

[Dancing Fire]

Give her the insurance money and make her buy her own car... with your help of course but not adding a penny to the pot.
Then tell daughter #1 to grow up if she is jealous.
I dunno why you ask, we all know they have you wrapped around their pinkies and you will buy both brand new cars then complain about it on here.

That's what we decided to do with help from her bf.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Her boyfriend is contributing to her new car? Is this the older bf that you and your wife disapprove of? Is he helping her find a car? Or is he contributing money towards it? Sorry, but my mom would never allow a guy to pay for my car, even part of it. Once you owe a man, you pay back those favors in other ways...

No, he's gonna help her find a decent used car with the insurance money. Her bf is a auto mechanic whom owns a auto repair shop.

 

[Dancing Fire]

does she now realize that she might have needed health insurance, DF?
that perhaps she really should purchase it?

She'll take care of that by herself.

 

[justginger]

DF, I was an independent full time doctor at the age of 23. It's time you let your daughters grow up. I can't believe you're talking about a 26 year old, plus the jealousy of a daughter who is even older! They aren't teenagers who must run to daddy for every little thing. They need to sort their own transportation and lives out at this point. I'm glad she wasn't hurt but deeply unimpressed that you think buying her a new car is appropriate at her age. I'm sure a grown woman can arrange and pay for her own used car.

Apologies if I got that wrong and she's a 16 year old in full time school.

Wow, rosetta! How did you do that?? I had just turned 24 when I graduated from pharmacy school, and that was only 6 years!!

HS (17-1 + 4 years pre-med (21-22) + 4 years med (25-26) + residency (26+)...
Child prodigy, for sure! ...but seriously, how did you do it?

Sorry for the threadjack, DF!!

Doctors here are 23 as well - they don't mess around with a pre-med and then med degree. You graduate high school here at 17, and go directly into a 6 year medical program (extremely specialised - no literature, history, etc general requirements like you get in American undergraduate degrees). Higher studies come after for those who specialise in disciplines like oncology, pathology, etc -- but GPs are pretty much done with their classroom education at that point. Of course they have residency, but they are definitely signing 'Dr. Ginger' by that point (and walking around with stethoscopes around their necks, so no one misses the fact that they're a DOCTOR).

DF, I feel like you try so hard to be an excellent, supportive father, but it might be backfiring. The more you sort out every problem your adult daughters have, the less experience they have in taking care of themselves. One day you won't be there any more, and if they haven't had practice in being competent adults, they're going to fall flat on their butts. You need to let her sort this out, all on her own - all the insurance paperwork, car shopping, arranging a mechanical inspection if need be, re insuring the new car, etc. These are things most people do by 22, many earlier -- your girls need to practice living in the real world, where Dads don't fix EVERYTHING, so when thy are forced to make their way without you, they can do so.

 

[VRBeauty]

No, he's gonna help her find a decent used car with the insurance money. Her bf is a auto mechanic whom owns a auto repair shop.

Actually, it sounds like she probably has this well in hand. You and your wife just need to step back and let her solve her problem, maybe be there to answer questions and provide moral support!

 

[dk168]

Glad to hear she is fine!

DK

 

[packrat]

No, he's gonna help her find a decent used car with the insurance money. Her bf is a auto mechanic whom owns a auto repair shop.

Actually, it sounds like she probably has this well in hand. You and your wife just need to step back and let her solve her problem, maybe be there to answer questions and provide moral support!

hahahaha yeah I'd say she's got it well in hand. Hand OUT. Smart cookie, that one. Knows what side her bread is buttered on.

 

[Maria D]

If you bought them both their first cars and she totaled hers, she should be on the hook for her replacement. I am glad she's ok.

you already know you're going to take care of this for her so I'm not sure what the real question is........

No I'm not!... she already got her Obama phone, and now I told her to wait for an Obama car..

What's an Obama phone? Are you talking about this?

http://www.factcheck.org/2009/10/the-obama-phone/

"The president has no direct impact on the program, and one could hardly call these devices "Obama Phones," as the e-mail author does. This specific program, SafeLink, started under President George Bush, with grants from an independent company created under President Bill Clinton, which was a legacy of an act passed under President Franklin Roosevelt, which was influenced by an agreement reached between telecommunications companies and the administration of President Woodrow Wilson."

And how did your daughter get a phone from this program? I find it hard to believe that your household is at or below 135% of the poverty line. Did she move out on her own?

 

[movie zombie]

is seems, Maria, that DF uses his daughters and their situations merely to take nasty digs at Obama.....

factual or not, he is righteous in his indignation.