When people say your ring is unique or cute..

[Dancing Fire]

does that mean "your ring is ugly" in a different way? ..

OOhhh, how cute = ooohh, how ugly!

That is unique = that is a ugly!

 

[thecat]

Not necessarily. One example I can think of now is CvB designs. They are unique and in a good way. When a ring is unique, I will comment as such. If the aesthetics of a ring and mine don't mesh, I will just keep quiet. When James Meyer's style first appeared on PS, I'm sure some commented on its uniqueness too since it was the first time such styles were introduced to the community.

 

[misskittycat]

Well, it's certainly more of a compliment than when one of your best friends says that your ring is so big it looks fake. Continually.

Personally, I think you like what you like. Haters be haters (and often backhanded compliments are just thinly veiled jealousy). And snaps to you if your ring IS unique. Where I live all I see is tiffany six prong repros (and often not well done), so unique to me is a great compliment. I love it when people express their personality and style through the jewellery they wear.

 

[makemepretty]

Cute = small (unless there are kittens engraved in the shank, then they literally mean cute)
Unique = not my taste but you're my friend and I don't want to hurt your feelings.

 

[missy]

I love unique (jewelry, clothes etc.) and I don't use that word as a false compliment at all.

I never use the word cute to describe an ER however. For some reason it doesn't sound like a compliment when made about a diamond especially an engagement ring diamond.

But I always go by that adage that if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all.

 

[MMtwo]

Assume the path of less offence unless there is good reason to believe otherwise. Not everyone is a jewelry hound and while PS'ers will not struggle to find a sentence or six in admiration, some people don't love jewelry!. I know. I know. How in the heck could someone see a sparkly ring and not become excited for the owner?

In my world though, unique is positive, as is "cute". Cute is likely to be said to an adorable young owner because they are so excited.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

That sounds like a lot of over analyzing. Unless there is reason to the contrary (a nasty tone of voice, for example), how about taking the compliment at face value? It makes life a lot simpler and happier.

 

[dk168]

When I say cute, I mean cute as in I find it cute as in I like it.

When I say it is unique, I mean it is different, and not necessarily to my own personal taste.

If I don't say anything, it means I don't like it for whatever reason(s).

DK

 

[Niel]

i don't think unique means bad when I use it, though i do know some people do.

when I see a ring that isn't my taste i usually say "its so you!! Its perfect" Because usually it is them, and a ring that represents its owner and makes them happy is perfect.

 

[Circe]

Tone is everything. You can make "gorgeous" sound like an insult if you deadpan and follow up with an eyeroll.

I would think a person saying an engagement ring was "cute" possessed a poor word-store, as it's a word better used for puppies, kittens, and pre-k dance routines (exception: Mickey Mouse engagement ring, or, for that matter, anything fandom-themed from any fandom, yes, even you, Dr Who fans and your bent-into-a-circle miniature-sonic-screwdriver-that-came-in-a-Tardis-shaped-ring-box). But I wouldn't necessarily think they were being insulting ... unless it was clear they were using it as a dog-whistle for "small," which is actually kind of common.*

"Unique" is another thing ... like Missy, I value individuality, and I'd be offering high praise indeed if I were to say something were unique in this world where it feels like everybody is wearing the same ripped-from-the-editorial-pages-of-a-glossy all too often. But I know for a lot of people, "unique" is code for "I literally cannot think of anything nice to say here, and 'unique' at least sounds vaguely complimentary without being a flat-out-lie."

My personal favorite: the backhanded compliment, i.e., "Is that a yellow diamond?" when it's pretty clear it's not. (I have not gotten this one. I have just read about it. But it sounds like it must come out wonderfully bitchy, no matter what.) People who do that go to the special hell, to paraphrase Book: the one reserved for internet shills who made 100,000,000 last week working from their laptop, and, yes, still people who talk in the theater.

*Slightly off-topic: I was about to say, ask yourself, could you say this about a penis without giving offense? I mean, diamonds do for ladies what most phallic/power symbols do for men ... making both "unique" and "cute" pretty obviously inappropriate. On the other hand, it would also give a really strange connotation to the observation it had a good cut, so, never mind, Circe's gonna go drink some coffee and shake off the morning weirds ...

 

[LaraOnline]

That sounds like a lot of over analyzing. Unless there is reason to the contrary (a nasty tone of voice, for example), how about taking the compliment at face value? It makes life a lot simpler and happier.

I agree!!

 

[missy]

Tone is everything. You can make "gorgeous" sound like an insult if you deadpan and follow up with an eyeroll.

I would think a person saying an engagement ring was "cute" possessed a poor word-store, as it's a word better used for puppies, kittens, and pre-k dance routines (exception: Mickey Mouse engagement ring, or, for that matter, anything fandom-themed from any fandom, yes, even you, Dr Who fans and your bent-into-a-circle miniature-sonic-screwdriver-that-came-in-a-Tardis-shaped-ring-box). But I wouldn't necessarily think they were being insulting ... unless it was clear they were using it as a dog-whistle for "small," which is actually kind of common.*

"Unique" is another thing ... like Missy, I value individuality, and I'd be offering high praise indeed if I were to say something were unique in this world where it feels like everybody is wearing the same ripped-from-the-editorial-pages-of-a-glossy all too often. But I know for a lot of people, "unique" is code for "I literally cannot think of anything nice to say here, and 'unique' at least sounds vaguely complimentary without being a flat-out-lie."

My personal favorite: the backhanded compliment, i.e., "Is that a yellow diamond?" when it's pretty clear it's not. (I have not gotten this one. I have just read about it. But it sounds like it must come out wonderfully bitchy, no matter what.) People who do that go to the special hell, to paraphrase Book: the one reserved for internet shills who made 100,000,000 last week working from their laptop, and, yes, still people who talk in the theater.

*Slightly off-topic: I was about to say, ask yourself, could you say this about a penis without giving offense? I mean, diamonds do for ladies what most phallic/power symbols do for men ... making both "unique" and "cute" pretty obviously inappropriate. On the other hand, it would also give a really strange connotation to the observation it had a good cut, so, never mind, Circe's gonna go drink some coffee and shake off the morning weirds ...

Haha too funny Circe. Thank you for giving me that hearty laugh this morning. Best way to start a morning IMO. Good cut OMG hahaha.

Oh and I am right with you re those people who just have to talk to
the screen when in the theaters. All I have to say to those jokers is Umm, this isn't your living room yanno? C'mon people. And they cannot talk back to you you know that right?

 

[ame]

does that mean "your ring is ugly" in a different way? ..

OOhhh, how cute = ooohh, how ugly!

That is unique = that is a ugly!

Since I have a specialty cut (as you are about to have as well), most are intrigued.

Before my old set was stolen, I did get "cute" a lot and that was intended to mean "small" by the people who said it. I still get that from time to time but I have recently gotten a few "your stone is massive" comments.

 

[SB621]

I love unique (jewelry, clothes etc.) and I don't use that word as a false compliment at all.

I never use the word cute to describe an ER however. For some reason it doesn't sound like a compliment when made about a diamond especially an engagement ring diamond.

But I always go by that adage that if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all.

Missy is forever my role model! +1!

 

[monarch64]

Circe,your morning weirds are hilarious! I never told a dude his penis was "cute!" That would MOST DEFINITELY have been an insult, no matter the tone.

A young lady told me she thought my earrings were "cute" and "very sparkly" a couple years ago. I *almost* took offense, but quickly realized she only meant to be nice, and why on earth did it even matter whether she thought my jewelry was real or fake? I mean, seriously, who cares?

"Unique" implies, to me, that a ring is lovely but not what the observer would have chosen for themselves. Not necessarily an insult. Applied to a penis, however...well, maybe there is serious curvature or a major lean involved. In that case, "unique" = maybe there's still hope.

 

[junebug17]

Oh geez, this thread is making me feel bad - I use the word unique sometimes, and I truly mean it as a compliment when I do. I use it to convey that the ring is different from the more usual, typical settings that I see and that I admire that the piece is novel and distinct. I don't even use it in the sense of "It's ok but I wouldn't wear it" because in the majority of cases I do like it, and I would wear it. But I'm going to stop using the word because it sounds like it could be misconstrued and I don't want to inadvertently insult someone.

I wouldn't use the word cute though…I don't know, it just seems dismissive or something, or an inference it's small…an ering is special, and deserves higher praise IMO. There are better descriptors to use. I don't think I'd use the term for any piece of fine jewelry, really.

 

[marymm]

Honestly I don't really care what they say about my jewelry - I am just happy it is noticed and now I can talk about it with someone other than my DH.

For me, "cute" jewelry is kids' jewelry or inexpensive costume holiday jewelry.

"Unique" to me (and in the way that I use the word when it comes to jewelry) is entirely positive - irrespective of whether the piece is my personal cup of tea, I so appreciate and celebrate the imagination and creativity when it comes to unique jewelry.

 

[MarionC]

I love unique (jewelry, clothes etc.) and I don't use that word as a false compliment at all.

I never use the word cute to describe an ER however. For some reason it doesn't sound like a compliment when made about a diamond especially an engagement ring diamond.

But I always go by that adage that if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all.

My Mom had official "rocks" so when I showed her my modest engagement ring she said "how cute!".
I thought that was uncalled for ... I did NOT take it as a compliment!
Of course now I have her rocks
so it all worked out

 

[MarionC]

Tone is everything. You can make "gorgeous" sound like an insult if you deadpan and follow up with an eyeroll.

I would think a person saying an engagement ring was "cute" possessed a poor word-store, as it's a word better used for puppies, kittens, and pre-k dance routines (exception: Mickey Mouse engagement ring, or, for that matter, anything fandom-themed from any fandom, yes, even you, Dr Who fans and your bent-into-a-circle miniature-sonic-screwdriver-that-came-in-a-Tardis-shaped-ring-box). But I wouldn't necessarily think they were being insulting ... unless it was clear they were using it as a dog-whistle for "small," which is actually kind of common.*

"Unique" is another thing ... like Missy, I value individuality, and I'd be offering high praise indeed if I were to say something were unique in this world where it feels like everybody is wearing the same ripped-from-the-editorial-pages-of-a-glossy all too often. But I know for a lot of people, "unique" is code for "I literally cannot think of anything nice to say here, and 'unique' at least sounds vaguely complimentary without being a flat-out-lie."

My personal favorite: the backhanded compliment, i.e., "Is that a yellow diamond?" when it's pretty clear it's not. (I have not gotten this one. I have just read about it. But it sounds like it must come out wonderfully bitchy, no matter what.) People who do that go to the special hell, to paraphrase Book: the one reserved for internet shills who made 100,000,000 last week working from their laptop, and, yes, still people who talk in the theater.

*Slightly off-topic: I was about to say, ask yourself, could you say this about a penis without giving offense? I mean, diamonds do for ladies what most phallic/power symbols do for men ... making both "unique" and "cute" pretty obviously inappropriate. On the other hand, it would also give a really strange connotation to the observation it had a good cut, so, never mind, Circe's gonna go drink some coffee and shake off the morning weirds ...

Circe, you are my role model from now on!
This might be the best, funniest post ever written on PS

 

[D&T]

I love using the word unique… usually followed by “I love it” even if it is not my taste so unique is a positive to me and I appreciate the out of the “norm” designs of jewelry – some are completely out of the “box” to me… but then it becomes more of a work of art. I’m pretty boring IRL with my solid or stripe colored shirts and the occasional polka dots, and plain ol’ jeans, I don’t venture too much into clothing trends or accessories such as scarves, hats, decorative belts, nails, or fancy haircuts, I wear boring pant suits with a punch in color for my blouse or subdued blazer with below the knee mostly black skirts… but I express myself in more UNIQUE jewelry .

Cute is an indifferent term for me in jewelry, and I usually use it towards children’s jewelry never a high ticket item as that becomes more of an insult. I like using the word cute relating to clothing more and that is a positive for me.

 

[redwood66]

I never use the word "unique" in a negative way. I love anything that is out of the norm and very likely it will be a perfect choice for them. It may not be something I would wear, but that in no way is negative to the owner.

Now "cute" might be used by me for a pair of small huggie hoops that looks absolutely darling on a lady with a bouncy short hair style. If I looked like that I would be perfectly fine with someone saying my earrings were cute. But not for an e-ring - never.

People come to PS for information, to share a common joy, and for validation. I like to post positive things about someone's new pretty even if it is not my style. We can all find something nice to say - unless it is really hideous I guess.

 

[chrono]

Just smile, say thank you, and move on.

 

[Calliecake]

Tone is everything. You can make "gorgeous" sound like an insult if you deadpan and follow up with an eyeroll.

I would think a person saying an engagement ring was "cute" possessed a poor word-store, as it's a word better used for puppies, kittens, and pre-k dance routines (exception: Mickey Mouse engagement ring, or, for that matter, anything fandom-themed from any fandom, yes, even you, Dr Who fans and your bent-into-a-circle miniature-sonic-screwdriver-that-came-in-a-Tardis-shaped-ring-box). But I wouldn't necessarily think they were being insulting ... unless it was clear they were using it as a dog-whistle for "small," which is actually kind of common.*

"Unique" is another thing ... like Missy, I value individuality, and I'd be offering high praise indeed if I were to say something were unique in this world where it feels like everybody is wearing the same ripped-from-the-editorial-pages-of-a-glossy all too often. But I know for a lot of people, "unique" is code for "I literally cannot think of anything nice to say here, and 'unique' at least sounds vaguely complimentary without being a flat-out-lie."

My personal favorite: the backhanded compliment, i.e., "Is that a yellow diamond?" when it's pretty clear it's not. (I have not gotten this one. I have just read about it. But it sounds like it must come out wonderfully bitchy, no matter what.) People who do that go to the special hell, to paraphrase Book: the one reserved for internet shills who made 100,000,000 last week working from their laptop, and, yes, still people who talk in the theater.

*Slightly off-topic: I was about to say, ask yourself, could you say this about a penis without giving offense? I mean, diamonds do for ladies what most phallic/power symbols do for men ... making both "unique" and "cute" pretty obviously inappropriate. On the other hand, it would also give a really strange connotation to the observation it had a good cut, so, never mind, Circe's gonna go drink some coffee and shake off the morning weirds ...

Circe, Your post is hilarious! Thank goodness I wasn't drinking coffe while reading it. I laughed so loud the dog came running to see if she was missing something. I love unique rings and loved the antique rings years before they were considered popular because they were considered different and unique. I wouldn't find cute a compliment. I do think you have to consider the person giving the compliment though. I know people who have made comments others may find offensive, but if you know the person doesn't have an unkind bone in their body, I wouldn't take offensive. Thank you Circe for your post!

 

[Indylady]

Cute = small (unless there are kittens engraved in the shank, then they literally mean cute)
Unique = not my taste but you're my friend and I don't want to hurt your feelings.

+1

 

[Lady_Disdain]

I have a hard time seeing "unique" as negative. I see a lot of people coming to PS and start off by saying "I am looking for something unique for my girlfriend." The word is also used in a lot of luxury advertising and lifestyle stuff. While I don't like cute myself, I also see it used a lot - a cute pair of shoes or a cute hairstyle for a great pair of shoes or a flattering hairstyle instead of "childishly attractive."

Nevertheless, I still think tone and intent are the most important part of the message.

 

[Tanzigrrl]

I don't know. I am pretty sure no one has called any of my jewelry "cute," but I get "that's unique" more often than not. Even from PSers about items I've posted on here. I don't think of it as being a backhanded compliment or insincere. A lot of my jewelry actually is unique in that it is 1) one-of-a-kind, 2) custom-designed (with some of my input), and 3) certainly not what you usually see. My goal isn't always to have something "unique" per se, but often I find that I need things to be custom-designed to fit my liking. Maybe I'm "unique" and my jewelry is simply following suit. lol.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Cute = small (unless there are kittens engraved in the shank, then they literally mean cute)
Unique = not my taste but you're my friend and I don't want to hurt your feelings.

That make sense ..

 

[Dancing Fire]

Circe,your morning weirds are hilarious! I never told a dude his penis was "cute!" That would MOST DEFINITELY have been an insult, no matter the tone.

SIZE means nothing if IT doesn't perform..

 

[AprilBaby]

Cute = small (unless there are kittens engraved in the shank, then they literally mean cute)
Unique = not my taste but you're my friend and I don't want to hurt your feelings.

Ditto!

 

[yennyfire]

Cute = small (unless there are kittens engraved in the shank, then they literally mean cute)
Unique = not my taste but you're my friend and I don't want to hurt your feelings.

Yup. This....