What would you have done?

[SparklyLibra]

If this happened to your 2 year old daughter right in front of you?

Would you retaliate?

Would you be frozen in shock?

Would you have "Whupped that azz?"

http://www.cbsatlanta.com/news/20684677/detail.html?taf=lnta

(I wish I knew how to put the link in without spelling it out like that... Bear with me folks).

 

[MissGotRocks]

I think if someone smacked my child right in front of me that I would have automatically - without thinking - hit him with whatever I had in my hand. I just think that would be my knee jerk reaction. There is an instinct at work in that situation that thought or emotion could not stop. You could not physically hurt my child like that - especially at the age of two! - without me trying to hurt you.

Kids that scream and cry in a store or restaurant are nerve wracking to those around but you always have the power of choice and the right choice for that man would have been to walk away. Clearly, the law saw it that way as well as he was charged with a felony. I don't think you'd find a jury anywhere in this country that would not find that man guilty.

 

[Dannielle]

It is obvious that he has mental issues, but if ANYONE laid a hand on my child.. even a family member, I would be in their face.

 

[lyra]

Well, I don''t *think* he would have been able to get near one of my kids because I would have tackled him, but on the other hand, after his first comment, I might have asked for someone to call security anyway. Sounds awful!

 

[ckrickett]

If that were me, and some random man slapped my child like that I would probably be in serious trouble for what I would do to him.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I would have had a world-class-grade-A meltdown on that man...and his "mental issues" be damned. There is very little in this world that would incite me more than that, if it happened to me. I would probably be arrested, and willingly do my time with no regrets. Sonvab****. How disgusting.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

WOW. I have a two year old (well almost) and while she certainly can grate on anyone''s nerves (she is a TODDLER after all) if anyone hit my child ONCE let alone SEVERAL times I think I would start screaming at him at the top of my lungs, physically (try at least) to get him away from my child and would press charges against him. That is NOT okay. He needs serious help.

 

[swingirl]

I only have 2 questions.

1. When the man asked the woman to quiet her baby why didn''t she leave? She chose to keep her child in a hostile environment and allowed things to escalate. The man, nutty or not, did give her fair warning.

2. Did the child stop crying?

The moral of the story is don''t allow your kids to annoy other people. Not everyone is patient and sane.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 9/2/2009 10:48:56 PM
Author: swingirl

The moral of the story is don't allow your kids to annoy other people. Not everyone is patient and sane.

I try to remind myself of the things I do not have control over (which is pretty much everything). While I can hope to "train" my child I ultimately have no control if she decides to whine, cry or scream. Does this mean she (and in return I) should not be allowed in public in fear she might irritate someone? If you have children I would LOVE to hear about how you prevented your toddlers from public temper tantrums. Honestly. I also know I have no control over other people's reactions. Like you said not everyone is patient or sane but HE could have left that department too. He CHOSE to HIT a child MULTIPLE times. The lesson is about the man not the child. The child acted like a normal 2 year old. The man acted like a criminal.

 

[swingirl]

Date: 9/2/2009 10:54:43 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring

Date: 9/2/2009 10:48:56 PM
Author: swingirl
The moral of the story is don''t allow your kids to annoy other people. Not everyone is patient and sane.

I try to remind myself of the things I do not have control over (which is pretty much everything). While I can hope to ''train'' my child I ultimately have no control if she decides to whine, cry or scream. Does this mean she (and in return I) should not be allowed in public in fear she might irritate someone? If you have children I would LOVE to hear about how you prevented your toddlers from public temper tantrums. Honestly. I also know I have no control over other people''s reactions. Like you said not everyone is patient or sane but HE could have left that department too. He CHOSE to HIT a child MULTIPLE times. The lesson is about the man not the child. The child acted like a normal 2 year old. The man acted like a criminal.

True. True. But in the end the mother choose to stand her ground because she had a right to be there but it was the child that paid the price.

 

[zhuzhu]

I will kick that man''s ass...

 

[SparklyLibra]

Date: 9/2/2009 10:34:14 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
I would have had a world-class-grade-A meltdown on that man...and his 'mental issues' be damned. There is very little in this world that would incite me more than that, if it happened to me. I would probably be arrested, and willingly do my time with no regrets. Sonvab****. How disgusting.

I'm sorry folks, but I'd be team Italia on this one. I like to pride myself on being a law abiding citizen, but LAAAAAAWD would it be ON!!! I probably would've clicked off the sanity switch from the moment he said he would "shut MY child up for me"!

It would be WRAP! There'd probably be an interruption in tv programming telling all America and Canada how I toe his ass up, hell, Thanksgiving and Halloween would get cancelled too! (At least up in my family, cause SparklyLibra would be in jail) Friday the 13 theme music would playing in my head while I had a college step show on his head, and by the time I'd be done with him, there would be "clean up on aisle 11" FOR SURE....

I wish a mofo would. That's a BABY we're talking about here. That po' baby wasn't doing anything outside the realm of what a sane and thinking baby should. That man however lost his God given mind and decided to lay his hands on ANOTHER person's child!!!

Beat your own kids if you wanna, but how DARE you touch a hair on a (another person's) baby's head!

 

[SparklyLibra]

Date: 9/2/2009 10:59:18 PM
Author: swingirl

Date: 9/2/2009 10:54:43 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

Date: 9/2/2009 10:48:56 PM

Author: swingirl

The moral of the story is don''t allow your kids to annoy other people. Not everyone is patient and sane.

I try to remind myself of the things I do not have control over (which is pretty much everything). While I can hope to ''train'' my child I ultimately have no control if she decides to whine, cry or scream. Does this mean she (and in return I) should not be allowed in public in fear she might irritate someone? If you have children I would LOVE to hear about how you prevented your toddlers from public temper tantrums. Honestly. I also know I have no control over other people''s reactions. Like you said not everyone is patient or sane but HE could have left that department too. He CHOSE to HIT a child MULTIPLE times. The lesson is about the man not the child. The child acted like a normal 2 year old. The man acted like a criminal.

True. True. But in the end the mother choose to stand her ground because she had a right to be there but it was the child that paid the price.

Are you for real? So do you think mothers everywhere should now "run for cover" everytime their toddler has a meltdown in public??? I reallllly hope I''m misunderstanding you here.

You are right, the mother and child had JUST as much right to be there as anybody else: bawling baby or not.
I''m sure that if mothers worldwide could predict when their baby was going to meltdown and throw a tantrum in public, they''d be planning their shopping and grocery excursions around that. NO mother in their left mind actually ENJOYS the sighs, groans, and nasty looks they get from strangers when their child decides to "give ''er" in public. You can have the BEST mannered child in the universe but a toddler''s nature is a toddler''s nature, and where we as REASONING and rational adults could see how it would disturb others, a baby CANNOT. They might be "trained" well, but at any given moment in time, they might just behave, well, like a kid without the capacity to see beyond their actions would....

I STRONGLY doubt that the mother actually believed the man WOULD lay his hands on her baby, and chose to ignore him. If I imagine the scene and play it out in my head, I can see her trying to quiet the child down, cause I''m sure all eyes were on her at the time. Sometimes you just CAN''T control what your toddler will do or say in public. You can try to redirect their behavior, but CONTROL is another thing.

I''m sorry, I just don''t see how this could or should be a "lesson learned" or "moral of the story" for the mother.....

I actually get sick at the thought of that.


*steps off soapbox*

 

[perry]

It would depend on several things....

Was it just a light swat, a hard slap, or something in the middle. What was the demeanor of the person - and what does it appear they may do next.

One of the more disturbing items reported is that the person told the mother that he intended to slap the child if things did not improve. That shows intent... and is a serious issue for me.

Adults are susposed to be tollerent of things like this (especially crying). There are limits on that of course and I have been known to have instantly lightly swatted a few bottoms immdiately on some actions by kids that should have known better (or perhaps had never been disiplined by their parents). I won''t say that I''ve never hit an older teenager or adult in response to extreem provocation - but that has been very rare and has not occured for a couple decades (although my intent to do so was clear to a few of them if they did not stop or change their planned actions).

However, what would I do:

If I was in a state where concealed carry was allowed - and I was carrying - and this was a hard slap with intent and the wrong demeaner I probably would have instantly defended my child and stopped the assailant. If he lived he would have a long time to think about his possible actions the next time, and their possible consequences.

I may do noting but call the cops on him if the situation was a lot less theatening.

I doubt that the judge (and jury if he request one) is going to be very sympathetic to his "reasons."

Perry

 

[steph72276]

I would kick him hard in the groin region exactly how my kickboxing instructor taught us to do to defend ourselves against men. Then I would proceed to call the police and press charges. I have a VERY well behaved child, but there have been one or two meltdowns in the store that I could not have predicted...just the nature of toddlers. Happy one minute, temper tantrum the next. This man needs serious mental help.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I would have had him arrested and pressed every charge the law allows. Then I would sue him for everything he has and will ever have in life.

 

[natalina]

Date: 9/3/2009 7:52:54 AM
Author: perry
It would depend on several things....

Was it just a light swat, a hard slap, or something in the middle. What was the demeanor of the person - and what does it appear they may do next.

One of the more disturbing items reported is that the person told the mother that he intended to slap the child if things did not improve. That shows intent... and is a serious issue for me.

Adults are susposed to be tollerent of things like this (especially crying). There are limits on that of course and I have been known to have instantly lightly swatted a few bottoms immdiately on some actions by kids that should have known better (or perhaps had never been disiplined by their parents). I won''t say that I''ve never hit an older teenager or adult in response to extreem provocation - but that has been very rare and has not occured for a couple decades (although my intent to do so was clear to a few of them if they did not stop or change their planned actions).

However, what would I do:

If I was in a state where concealed carry was allowed - and I was carrying - and this was a hard slap with intent and the wrong demeaner I probably would have instantly defended my child and stopped the assailant. If he lived he would have a long time to think about his possible actions the next time, and their possible consequences.

I may do noting but call the cops on him if the situation was a lot less theatening.

I doubt that the judge (and jury if he request one) is going to be very sympathetic to his ''reasons.''

Perry

Perry- do you seriously think it would have been okay if he only "lightly swatted" her??? And are you saying you have actually hit someone else''s kids?

This post is very alarming to me. I don''t have kids yet (5 weeks to go), but I can assure you that if a stranger EVER laid a hand on my child in a disciplinary nature, I would be LIVID and would probably freak out. Hunh...don''t know what else to say here. I am just boggled by your response. Sorry if that is out of line to say. Do you have kids?

 

[VegasAngel]

I''m not sure what my reaction would be I cannot even imagine a random person slapping my daughter. Who does that?

 

[somethingshiny]

I have lots of conflicting thoughts on it.

I would have left the aisle after the man harassed me to begin with.
If the man came near me I''d start hollering for help.
I wouldn''t want my child to see ME hit someone so I''d avoid the creep as much as possible.
I don''t stray far enough from the cart that the man could''ve gotten to the cart BEFORE me.


But, if all of this happened. My honest answer would be "I''d probably beat him near to death." I''m not exaggerating and I''d hate to do that in front of my child but I have a severe temper when I''m around abusers. I would call to the nearest shopper and tell them to keep an eye on my child then I would beat the sh!t out of him with whatever was available and then I''d kick him repeatedly once he was on the ground. I think someone would physically have to remove me from the guy and I would end up in jail.

I explained the story to DH. And, I added that there was talk that he may be mentally off. DH said he would CERTAINLY be mentally "off" after he beat the brain damage into him.

The only way I''d be able to "forgive" or "get over it" would be if the man was truly mentally handicapped. Not depressed, panicked, etc but really slow. Then I would treat it more as if a CHILD did this to a child instead of a grown man.

 

[swingirl]

I am for real.

I'd rather not confront a wacko and instead remove myself and my child from harm. Anyone who threatens a woman and child in public is unstable. I am not saying you need to run for cover whenever your child lets out a holler, only run from the unstable ones. And this guy clearly showed he was unstable by his threats.

I am amazed how anyone with a baby would need to stand their ground after being physically threatened and harassed in public.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/2/2009 10:48:56 PM
Author: swingirl
The moral of the story is don''t allow your kids to annoy other people. Not everyone is patient and sane.

No, not everyone is patient or sane and those not patient and not sane people could choose anything to irk them. We cannot predict where other people''s lines are so we must be in control of ourselves and worry about that and not what other people are doing. No excuse for that behavior. I don''t agree blaming the mother.

 

[purrfectpear]

He wouldn''t have had the opportunity to smack my kid, because I would have already been doing it. There were no "melt downs" in public with my son. Well, there was ONE when he was 3 in ToysRUs and I smacked him on the bottom and dragged him physically out of there. There''s never been a repeat occurrence so I guess he understood that I meant it when I said there are no tantrums tolerated.

This mom chose to "stand on her right" to have her kid pitch a fit in public. Guess she taught them, huh?

 

[cara]

This article states that the assault happened on a separate aisle from when the man first threatened the mom and child. I don't know where this assertion that the mom 'stood her ground' comes from. Sounds like she tried to leave the scene/ignore the man and he followed her.

PPear, you've said in other threads that your one kid was an unusually easy baby. Maybe he was an unusually easy toddler as well. Not saying parents don't have a role in it - parenting style and keeping kids from reaching the meltdown stage most of the time and of course the choice to promptly leave most but not all situations if there is a meltdown. But its a part of development for most kids and your approach might not have worked perfectly for all kids. With a different child you'd have just trained your kid to cry and meltdown when they want to leave the store in a big hurry and get some attention - even a smack on the bottom - from you. Also, we don't even know that the kid in the story was having a full-on meltdown from the newspaper reports -- if the man was mentally disturbed who knows what level of fussing was his threshold?

 

[VegasAngel]

Date: 9/3/2009 2:09:52 PM
Author: purrfectpear
He wouldn''t have had the opportunity to smack my kid, because I would have already been doing it. There were no ''melt downs'' in public with my son. Well, there was ONE when he was 3 in ToysRUs and I smacked him on the bottom and dragged him physically out of there. There''s never been a repeat occurrence so I guess he understood that I meant it when I said there are no tantrums tolerated.

This mom chose to ''stand on her right'' to have her kid pitch a fit in public. Guess she taught them, huh?

That doesn''t work for every kid that is for sure.

 

[packrat]

I read about this yesterday, and I didn''t get the impression the kid was having a full on temper tantrum meltdown, just crying/whining. My son does that in the store if he wants a box of gummies and I won''t let him. Whatever, no biggee, he''s not freaking out like someone cut off his arm. Kids cry and whine. Overtired, overstimulated, hungry, thirsty, whatever, kids do that. My kids aren''t perfect all the time, and I can''t run back and forth to the store just b/c they''re not sitting quietly. If my husband or mom is w/me, they''ll take whoever is not cooperating out to the truck. If I''m alone, and I need groceries, sorry, I''m *not* going to leave my cart and go all the way back home and give it a whirl another time, hoping the kids will be in a better mood. They''ll settle down. So, what, the woman was in the store, and met the guy who''d threatened her in another aisle and the kids was still crying/whining...and that was how long of a time period later? 40 minutes? Haha, doubtful-maybe 2. So, gawd forbid a child is still crying. For me and my son, by the time we''ve gone an aisle or two, he''s fine. He knows he''s not going to get his way and he settles down.

I don''t get why the MOM is the one who should''ve just hauled ass out of the store. Betcha mom was a little tired and irritated and embarrassed that her child was acting that way, so yeah, make her leave so she has to start all over again. Make her get a babysitter whenever she needs to run an errand, just in case the kids might act up. Would be a total and complete shame to ask another ADULT to act like an ADULT and IGNORE the CHILD who is acting like..um..a CHILD.

Yes, much better to get these horrible mothers out of public and off the streets. How dare they set foot outside with toddlers who don''t want to listen? Yes, yes, we really need to do something about them. Really, people with mental problems don''t need any more stress, and shouldn''t have to put up with anything they don''t like, so really, we should all tiptoe around and punish moms when their kids cry.

I believe he physically lifted the child up himself and smacked her, right? He''d have been attacked by a very small and psychotic blonde woman, had that been my child. I hope the next time he feels like being a piece of crap, he pulls it on a parent who sports a shiny pistol.

There''s plenty of annoying adults in stores..nevermind kids. I''m irritated by one thing or another every time I go to the grocery store. Buuuuut...I am a big girl, and while I might roll my eyes or sigh loudly, I don''t freak out and "give warning" that I might have to take care of some business. "Hey, lady? Next time you park yer cart in the middle of the aisle guess what, Ima take that cart and shove it up her butt!" I might want to say that..but I don''t.

My mom has a shirt that says "Don''t annoy the crazy person" and I think that applies.

 

[lovegem]

Date: 9/3/2009 12:57:05 PM
Author: swingirl
I am for real.


I''d rather not confront a wacko and instead remove myself and my child from harm. Anyone who threatens a woman and child in public is unstable. I am not saying you need to run for cover whenever your child lets out a holler, only run from the unstable ones. And this guy clearly showed he was unstable by his threats.


I am amazed how anyone with a baby would need to stand their ground after being physically threatened and harassed in public.

Ditto. I would report this instance to the store guard after the man made his first threat, then I would choose to leave the store. Why confront someone who is unstable and put yourself and the baby in danger?

 

[Cehrabehra]

My first was an easy baby. I didn''t know that of course - she was my first. I thought I was the best mom ever! I was in complete control. I took pride in making the statement, "I don''t have to baby proof my house, I have house proofed my child." I knew what it took to have a child who minded and I did it and I did it well and voila! Perfect kid all thanks to me. I rocked. For five years.

Then number two came along. I am now humbled and will never again make any statements like I''ve read above. I know better now.

And now that I have 3 kids (aged 15, 10, and and I have absolutely come to expect that children are not perfect nor do they always act in the ways we teach them to, and I am not perfect and don''t always act in the ways that I think parents should. And I''m okay with that.

 

[Lauren8211]

Hmm...

Well, this is a non-parent view....

If my kid was in the middle of a rocking-god-awful temper tantrum, I''d leave the store. I realize that is a HUGE inconvenience for parents, but I''d do it in hopes of preventing it in the future. If it''s not tolerated EVER, there''s a good chance that they''ll learn after it happens a few times. Obviously you can''t always control your kid 100% of the time, but you can make a big to-do about having to leave the store because of their terrible behavior. It worked on me, I rarely had a temper tantrum as a child.

That said, if someone threatened to shut my kid up for me, I would not keep my kid around the guy. It''s not safe! I don''t care what battle I''m fighting, I don''t stay around unstable people. If someone wanted to steal my car, and threatened me with bodily harm, I''m not going to be stubborn and stand my ground because I have a right to my own car. I''d get to a safer situation, and notify someone, possibly press charges because of the threat. Why would you keep your kid around someone who physically threatened you or your child? That''s just not smart.

If I had no indication from someone that they were unstable, and my crying kid provoked violence without warning and someone hit my kid... I think I''d just react. I don''t think it would be a conscious decision, it would be my primal instinct to protect my baby.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 9/3/2009 3:12:30 PM
Author: packrat
I read about this yesterday, and I didn''t get the impression the kid was having a full on temper tantrum meltdown, just crying/whining. My son does that in the store if he wants a box of gummies and I won''t let him. Whatever, no biggee, he''s not freaking out like someone cut off his arm. Kids cry and whine. Overtired, overstimulated, hungry, thirsty, whatever, kids do that. My kids aren''t perfect all the time, and I can''t run back and forth to the store just b/c they''re not sitting quietly. If my husband or mom is w/me, they''ll take whoever is not cooperating out to the truck. If I''m alone, and I need groceries, sorry, I''m *not* going to leave my cart and go all the way back home and give it a whirl another time, hoping the kids will be in a better mood. They''ll settle down. So, what, the woman was in the store, and met the guy who''d threatened her in another aisle and the kids was still crying/whining...and that was how long of a time period later? 40 minutes? Haha, doubtful-maybe 2. So, gawd forbid a child is still crying. For me and my son, by the time we''ve gone an aisle or two, he''s fine. He knows he''s not going to get his way and he settles down.

I don''t get why the MOM is the one who should''ve just hauled ass out of the store. Betcha mom was a little tired and irritated and embarrassed that her child was acting that way, so yeah, make her leave so she has to start all over again. Make her get a babysitter whenever she needs to run an errand, just in case the kids might act up. Would be a total and complete shame to ask another ADULT to act like an ADULT and IGNORE the CHILD who is acting like..um..a CHILD.

Yes, much better to get these horrible mothers out of public and off the streets. How dare they set foot outside with toddlers who don''t want to listen? Yes, yes, we really need to do something about them. Really, people with mental problems don''t need any more stress, and shouldn''t have to put up with anything they don''t like, so really, we should all tiptoe around and punish moms when their kids cry.

I believe he physically lifted the child up himself and smacked her, right? He''d have been attacked by a very small and psychotic blonde woman, had that been my child. I hope the next time he feels like being a piece of crap, he pulls it on a parent who sports a shiny pistol.

There''s plenty of annoying adults in stores..nevermind kids. I''m irritated by one thing or another every time I go to the grocery store. Buuuuut...I am a big girl, and while I might roll my eyes or sigh loudly, I don''t freak out and ''give warning'' that I might have to take care of some business. ''Hey, lady? Next time you park yer cart in the middle of the aisle guess what, Ima take that cart and shove it up her butt!'' I might want to say that..but I don''t.

My mom has a shirt that says ''Don''t annoy the crazy person'' and I think that applies.

You shouldnt have to leave a store for a little whining/crying. I would only suggest dropping what you''re doing and leaving if it was one of those snotty, choking, hysterical god-awful temper tantrums.

I would still have contacted someone the minute they threatened my kid. Not OK!

 

[janinegirly]

style="WIDTH: 99%; HEIGHT: 152px">Date: 9/3/2009 3:19:50 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
My first was an easy baby. I didn''t know that of course - she was my first. I thought I was the best mom ever! I was in complete control. I took pride in making the statement, ''I don''t have to baby proof my house, I have house proofed my child.'' I knew what it took to have a child who minded and I did it and I did it well and voila! Perfect kid all thanks to me. I rocked. For five years.

Then number two came along. I am now humbled and will never again make any statements like I''ve read above. I know better now.

And now that I have 3 kids (aged 15, 10, and and I have absolutely come to expect that children are not perfect nor do they always act in the ways we teach them to, and I am not perfect and don''t always act in the ways that I think parents should. And I''m okay with that.

Ha, great post (especially the 1st paragraph--my first and only is also easy, so maybe I should stop there!).

I don''t know the details of this story (only the headlines) but no stranger should ever touch my baby/child, no matter what she happens to do. Yes I will raise her to be polite, respectful, blah blah, but irregardless, no should touch her in an aggressive fashion!! Seems pretty cut and dry to me. If this happened to me I would grab my child and run b/c I''d wonder what else this freak would be capable of. I would then find a store manager/security/police to file an immediate complaint and pursue every avenue relentlessly to make him pay in other ways (vs. a physical confrotation). Seeing how he was arrested I assume this was the end result as well.