Vent - Teen's first job disasterous

[autumngems]

My teen got her first job at a local surf shop which she had always wanted to work at. Well things went south quickly. One of the supervisors is very nasty, attitude wise and was always yelling at the girls. They all hate her. My daughter was working on her 5th month there and had to call in sick, vomiting all over. So much so that I stayed home with her. She texted her supervisor that morning, early. Around noon the other supervisor (the B) called and wanted to know why my daughter hadn't called in, so she said she texted as all the other girls do. The B told her she needed to call next time. ABout 1pm her supervisor texts and says she will need a Dr's note.
When my daughter tells me this I go off of course, it's too late to get into a Dr. for the day and she can't return to work without note. I call and the B answers, she is rude as usual, so I dismiss her. I end up texting her supervisor and explain it's 1:00 and I can't get my daughter an appointment, I am here and stayed home with her because she is vomiting so much, she is not faking it. After an hour she texts back that she will accept that THIS time.
Next day my daughter goes in but ends up coming home early, still sick. Her next day at work she goes in and the B pulls her aside but others can hear this and tells her I don't know what you are doing but you aren't working, you didn't do anything yesterday while you were here if your not going to work just leave. The other girls that work there heard this and tell me that my daughter was working, she wasn't being lazy or anything.
I told my daughter to give notice that Mon would be her last day, I was fed up. She had meeting with her supervisor and told her it just wasn't working for her there and supervisor said she understood. I was at the surfshop and spoke to my daughter after this meeting and she told me her supervisor said she understood.
We had a family issue so I tried to call supervisor yesterday, no answer, I called this morning and told her supervisor it was supposed to be my daughters last day but we had a family issue and we needed to go out of town today and she says "Was today supposed to be her last day? I wasn't aware of that?"
WTF I know she talked to her, I was there.
I feel for the teens working there they are so miserable but scared of the B, I didn't believe half the stuff my daughter told me but now I do.
They gave one girl a raise after working 2 weeks, for staying 45 minuts late one day when there are girls that have been there years and are great employees and come in early and they still make minimum wage.
I guess when you have teens working for you that somehow gives them the right to treat them horrendously.
I know some may think I am just giving a parents view but I have heard this from all the girls working there and 4 of them want to quite as well.

 

[iLander]

I don't think it's teens in particular, or even that shop. I think your DD got a glimpse into the life of the working poor these days.

Sick days are not tolerated, the employers feel they can stomp all over their employees, and low-level (often young, insecure) managers go power mad. The money is poor and the benefits are nonexistent. The employers feel that they can just get another employee and that the people are disposable. It's really a lousy life all around.

My DD also had a job at a surf shop, and she was there working with other employees who were there with 10+ years on the job (still at low pay!), who were also treated poorly. The managers were snide, rude and belittling. My DS had a job at a supermarket while in college, and his employers had very little tolerance for scheduling around his classes and exams. Most of the other managers and employees were jealous that he was going to college and made life difficult when he took a couple of hours off (with lots of notice) for classes. We told him to quit, the priority was college. Imagine if he depended on the job for money? I don't think he would have completed college!

With both my kids, I used these jobs as life lessons; THIS is why you're going to college.

Sorry your daughter went through this, it's everywhere, unfortunately.

 

[chrono]

I am sorry that your DD is experiencing this but unfortunately, this is the reality of the workplace for those unable to get professional jobs.

 

[autumngems]

Thanks iLander, it was definitely a life lesson.
She has a meeting next week for another job so I hope it goes well.

 

[OreoRosies86]

I was just coming to say, it is a very hard dose of the reality of the lives of the working poor. I do believe that sick or not, one should call an employer when they won't be coming to work, not text. Teens are at the age where they have to learn about the sometimes unpleasant realities of working. Managers won't always be nice, texts won't always be received, and having your mother call on your behalf will almost always make the situation worse. If you're old enough to earn a paycheck, you have to navigate the minefield. These are just lessons, and of course no one wants to see their child dealing with unpleasantries, especially when sick. I hope your daughter is feeling better and that her next job is considerably more tolerable!

 

[asscherisme]

My son ended up quitting his first job within a few months (pizza place) due to the abusive behavior of the boss. His lesson? Stay in school and this is why he needs a college education. It motivated him even more to study hard and go to college. By the time he quit, it was too late this summer to get another job because he is leaving for college in a few weeks. As the mom of 3 teenagers (2 who have experienced work) this is pretty common among retail/minimum wage jobs. The issue is that employees are often expendable and replaceable because there will be others lined up to take that job. Its really sad and makes me feel for those who don't have the opportunity to get better work.

 

[asscherisme]

I was just coming to say, it is a very hard dose of the reality of the lives of the working poor. I do believe that sick or not, one should call an employer when they won't be coming to work, not text. Teens are at the age where they have to learn about the sometimes unpleasant realities of working. Managers won't always be nice, texts won't always be received, and having your mother call on your behalf will almost always make the situation worse. If you're old enough to earn a paycheck, you have to navigate the minefield. These are just lessons, and of course no one wants to see their child dealing with unpleasantries, especially when sick. I hope your daughter is feeling better and that her next job is considerably more tolerable!

I agree. I would never call on behalf of my teens. They need to learn responsibility.

 

[dragonfly411]

Unfortunately, others are right. This is a glimpse into reality. I do agree though that you should ALWAYS call a supervisor when you're going to be out. I understand that for some, texting may be acceptable, but as a new employee at a first time job, she should try to do that. Good luck to you all!

 

[amc80]

My son ended up quitting his first job within a few months (pizza place) due to the abusive behavior of the boss. His lesson? Stay in school and this is why he needs a college education. It motivated him even more to study hard and go to college. By the time he quit, it was too late this summer to get another job because he is leaving for college in a few weeks. As the mom of 3 teenagers (2 who have experienced work) this is pretty common among retail/minimum wage jobs. The issue is that employees are often expendable and replaceable because there will be others lined up to take that job. Its really sad and makes me feel for those who don't have the opportunity to get better work.

This is what I was going to say. Every teen should have a crappy, low paying job. It's great motivation to strive towards something better.

 

[minousbijoux]

My son ended up quitting his first job within a few months (pizza place) due to the abusive behavior of the boss. His lesson? Stay in school and this is why he needs a college education. It motivated him even more to study hard and go to college. By the time he quit, it was too late this summer to get another job because he is leaving for college in a few weeks. As the mom of 3 teenagers (2 who have experienced work) this is pretty common among retail/minimum wage jobs. The issue is that employees are often expendable and replaceable because there will be others lined up to take that job. Its really sad and makes me feel for those who don't have the opportunity to get better work.

This is what I was going to say. Every teen should have a crappy, low paying job. It's great motivation to strive towards something better.

+1! It totally changed my son's idea of his future!

Autumngems, I am sorry. I think in some ways it is harder to be a parent in this situation than it is to be your daughter. At least they are in good company and can bond over the awful, and absolutely inexcusable and unnecessary behavior of their supervisor. You, as the Mom, are alone and just see the total unfairness. For me, it brought out the mother bear in me.

 

[momhappy]

I was just coming to say, it is a very hard dose of the reality of the lives of the working poor. I do believe that sick or not, one should call an employer when they won't be coming to work, not text. Teens are at the age where they have to learn about the sometimes unpleasant realities of working. Managers won't always be nice, texts won't always be received, and having your mother call on your behalf will almost always make the situation worse. If you're old enough to earn a paycheck, you have to navigate the minefield. These are just lessons, and of course no one wants to see their child dealing with unpleasantries, especially when sick. I hope your daughter is feeling better and that her next job is considerably more tolerable!

I agree with all of this. Not every job and/or every boss is going to be pleasant. It's a good life lesson to learn and as hard as it may be some times, I've had my kids "tough out" certain situations simply because there were valuable lessons to be learned.
In regards to teen employment, I can only imagine how difficult it must be for employers in some cases. Many teens/young adults these days seem to lacking self-motivation, positive attitudes, pride, etc. I can't even find a babysitter anymore who will clean up the dishes after my kids eat dinner I'm not saying that all teens/young adults are like this - and I'm certainly not saying that OP's teen is like this, but I was just sharing my personal experience. I'm also not excusing employers treating their employees poorly, but I suppose that managing a bunch of teens at a surf shop might be tricky. If this job doesn't work out for your teen, OP, hopefully, there will be others that will. Maybe it was just not the right fit for her. I'm sorry that her first experience was a negative one. I hope that she is feeling better and I wish her (and you) the best on her next job

 

[ruby59]

OP, how old is your daughter?

One mistake that I see you made is getting involved. If your daughter is old enough to work, then you need to let her handle things. JMO but all that does is inflame an already tense situation where employers would wonder if mom has to get involved then is her daughter capable of handling the job.

 

[packrat]

I can see both sides. On the one hand, yeah, some jobs just plain suck and it's not fun to be a teen working for an asshat. But at the same time, having a degree doesn't mean you're going to work for a place that's any better either. I don't want my kids thinking it's ok to treat people like shit just b/c of their job/position or lack of schooling/education, that it's ok for them to do it or it's ok for them to endure it. It's one thing to learn you have to be a "big girl" or "big boy" and adjust your social life b/c of your job, you can't sleep in till all hours of the day or whatever, it's another thing to learn you have to adjust to being berated and belittled on a regular basis or that it's ok to treat the counter person at McD's like shit no matter how hard she/he works, based solely on the fact that he/she is a McD's counter person.

 

[the_mother_thing]

I also hope OP's daughter is feeling better. As a mom to a teen starting her first job this week, I appreciate the feedback and perspectives in this thread - especially about letting DD navigate her responsibility, and staying out of her job (to the extent reasonable of course). It's so hard letting our kids go & grow up in such a scary, mean world.

 

[autumngems]

Thank you all for the comments. Her supervisor is the one that told her she could text if not coming in (she's 25), as the rest of the kids do also.
It just astounds me how mean they are to these teens and then to outright lie that my daughter didn't give them notice of when her last day was, I was shopping in the store and know she had given it and the other kids said she gave notice.

Anywho, we have washed our hands of the place and shall never venture there again.

I have told my daughter that at any job, from now on, any lateness or out due to sickness WILL BE by telephone.

 

[ckrickett]

A few of my first jobs were this way. I won't get into the particulars (because they are long involved stories)but the first 3 were a lot of really bad lazy supervisors, and employees who thought they could bully, order me around because I was younger.

I think this will give your daughter some work life lessons, about what will be expected of her (although it is unfair that anyone should have to go into work sick, that is ridiculous), but if this happens and she has to deal with supervisors like that she should have the confidence and experience to know when to walk away. It must have been hard for her, being her first job, and a job she was very excited to work for.

I Hope your daughter is feeling better

 

[minousbijoux]

A few of my first jobs were this way. I won't get into the particulars (because they are long involved stories)but the first 3 were a lot of really bad lazy supervisors, and employees who thought they could bully, order me around because I was younger.

I think this will give your daughter some work life lessons, about what will be expected of her (although it is unfair that anyone should have to go into work sick, that is ridiculous), but if this happens and she has to deal with supervisors like that she should have the confidence and experience to know when to walk away. It must have been hard for her, being her first job, and a job she was very excited to work for.

I Hope your daughter is feeling better

Well said. At the end of the day, this is a great life lesson.

 

[lyra]

My daughters have both been through stuff like this. I let them handle it, whether it was just outright quitting, or telling them to find another job before they quit (if they had bills to pay). Now my oldest has graduated from college and has her degree. The job market here is so tough, she has to take 1 p/t job in her field, plus 1 p/t job in retail, and she's looking for a third job hopefully also in her field. Having job experience is helpful even when you get your degree, since finding a f/t in your chosen field is never a given these days. My other daughter is returning to college this year, after taking a break, and even she is working 2 jobs at the moment. Neither in her field. Experience helps, even if it is less than a great experience. It helps them deal with the real world.

 

[Huff26]

I'm sorry this happened to your daughter. Yes it is a life lesson of the working poor, but I don't think we should be quite so callous. I think the working class is getting the short end of the stick and it's sad that's it is so expected.

Also in regards to the texting- most managers allow it now in a retail setting. It's similar to sending an email in a professional setting in that it has a time and date stamp for the text and can easily be forwarded to other parties if need be. Just my 2 cents.

 

[telephone89]

a) you probably need to step back a bit, but I understand the mamma bear instinct.
b) your daughter is way more professional than I was! I remember 'quitting' my first few jobs by stopping showing up! Terrible haha. So good for her for sticking with it, and not being a terrible teen employee.

 

[distracts]

Honestly in my experience this is pretty typical of retail jobs. The conditions are deplorable. Even places without teens. Basically anywhere part-time or possibly anywhere hourly is going to have conditions more or less like this. Some are better. Most are probably about on par with this. The trick is to find a manager you click with - all else doesn't matter. And even WITH that at my college retail job, I still worked many days where I was vomiting in the back every hour due to a migraine and was often asked to work off-the-clock (never did, but the amount of times I asked was galling).

re: them not understanding giving notice, ALWAYS write a letter and hand it to the manager AND email it to both the manager, the store email, and the regional manager. Seems like overkill but I've seen enough people's notices get "lost" to lean on the overkill side.

 

[autumngems]

Well she has another job and starts Saturday as a stylist there and will be setting up window arrangments, mannequins and researching clothing lines for purchase and possibly going on buying trips with the owner, she is ecstatic.

She didn't have to but she did explain what happened at the previous job and the new supervisor was very understanding and shocked at their behavior. Daughter wanted it out there in case she called them for a reference and they gave her a bad one.

 

[Sky56]

I have a friend who is in her 50's and she is a good and hard worker and is personable. The past few years, almost every job she's had, there is a female co-worker or supervisor who is terrible - mean and abusive. There is always high employee turnover.

In many cases, the owner of the business does nothing. At her current job, 300 clients signed a petition stating how abusive this employee was and handed it to the business owner and the employee is still there. I find it astounding. I wonder if the teen is experiencing this also. A retired friend told me she experienced this a lot in the workplace.

It just doesn't make sense. My father used to run a business and there was virtually no employee turnover because workers loved being there. Management treated them well and the workers got along with each other. They worked there for decades. i wish I saw more of this.