Haven
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2007
- Messages
- 13,166
I didn't want to drag the old thread up again, mainly because it's kind of difficult for me to see all the things I divulged about my father out there in black and white. But I do want to give a sincere and heartfelt THANK YOU to everyone who contributed to the thread and offered much-needed support, experiences, background, insights, and important questions.
Your input really helped me reach a point of clarity in my situation. While I still have no idea what is going on with my father, I have (once again!) realized that it isn't my business, and it isn't my problem just yet, to meddle in his life and try to coerce him to get any sort of treatment or care. All I can do is choose to accept him as he is, and draw whatever boundaries I need to draw with him to remain healthy myself.
I think my initial desire to get him some help stemmed from my very deep wish for him to be a different kind of father. This, of course, will never happen and it's something I've dealt with again and again throughout the years. (Annoying how coming to terms with something at one point in life doesn't guarantee that that particular wicket won't get sticky one again as circumstances change over the years, isn't it?)
So, I'm no longer in a place where his bizarre behavior sends me in a tailspin of fear and anxiety over what must be done. I've reached a place of acceptance, and it feels very good.
If you offered me counsel in the "real world" I would be sending out tins with some sort of sweet and a little note to show my gratitude. I'm sorry that all I can do here is to say it over and over again, but thank you, thank you, thank you.
Your input really helped me reach a point of clarity in my situation. While I still have no idea what is going on with my father, I have (once again!) realized that it isn't my business, and it isn't my problem just yet, to meddle in his life and try to coerce him to get any sort of treatment or care. All I can do is choose to accept him as he is, and draw whatever boundaries I need to draw with him to remain healthy myself.
I think my initial desire to get him some help stemmed from my very deep wish for him to be a different kind of father. This, of course, will never happen and it's something I've dealt with again and again throughout the years. (Annoying how coming to terms with something at one point in life doesn't guarantee that that particular wicket won't get sticky one again as circumstances change over the years, isn't it?)
So, I'm no longer in a place where his bizarre behavior sends me in a tailspin of fear and anxiety over what must be done. I've reached a place of acceptance, and it feels very good.
If you offered me counsel in the "real world" I would be sending out tins with some sort of sweet and a little note to show my gratitude. I'm sorry that all I can do here is to say it over and over again, but thank you, thank you, thank you.
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