|ugh, so frustrated - am I wrong?||
So, a family member of mine got married in a small courthouse ceremony last summer. Only immediate family members were invited, and they were planning a bigger wedding celebration with a larger guest list for this upcoming summer.
Well, a month after the legal wedding, her husband died suddenly. Very sad.
It's now 8 months later, and she posts a long vent on FB, complaining that all her family and friends didn't give her presents for her wedding.
I do feel very sorry for her that her husband died, it's sad, but putting those feelings aside... - is it considered necessary/appropriate to get a family member a wedding gift if you're not invited to the wedding? I had been planning to get her something for the larger celebration which I would (likely) be invited to, so did not send her something for the wedding which I was not invited to.
I feel like if it were customary for everyone to give presents for an "official" wedding that they're not invited to, and later for a larger party that they are invited to, then everyone would have a small wedding first, because you'd get twice the gifts...
Don't get me wrong, I am sad for her that the larger party will never take place because her husband passed away, but I just find it kind of selfish that she is irritated all the people she didn't invite to her wedding didn't give her presents. I am engaged right now, and I hardly even expect everyone coming to our wedding to give us presents, much less people we don't invite...
Furthermore, she just bought a house, and was complaining no one gave her housewarming presents. When I bought my first house, no one bought me housewarming presents either. I didn't cry about it...