Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us crazy!

[backwardsandinheels]

Took kids for a short notice weekend trip. They drove us crazy! Nutty loud singing in the car, random loud noises, poking each other. Husband and I decided we are too old to remember we did that stuff or we're too old to be parents. I refuse to get an in-car DVD to let them zone out...I gave them books, drawing supplies...they were okay with Scattergories and checkers for a bit. Thank God it was only for about 4-5 hours each way...

 

[LaraOnline]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

Exhausting isn't it?!
My husband and I are just discussing our 10-year wedding anniversary, coming up early next year.

He is excited about taking the kids with us for a three-day getaway to mark the occasion!!!
I told him my friend has already volunteered to take the kids for two nights, so why wouldn't we take her up??

At this point, he became agitated and the conversation ended...I must have the only man in history who is so paranoid about his kids safety that he won't leave the kids with a practicing kindy teacher FFS!

I adore my children, but haven't had a all-kids-out sleepover since we had them (except for yucky emergencies like hospital trips for having other babies lol).

I told him perhaps he could celebrate his anniversary by taking the kids on a getaway weekend, they could have baked beans dinner in a family friendly camping park somewhere. Sheesh!

ETA: Please excuse rant, slightly embarassing but perhaps a little humourous too.

 

[SB621]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

Get the DVD system!!!

We spent 12 hrs in the car on Saturday and Sunday. While we sang, took naps and played games it was nice to put in Cat in the Hat for the kids to watch when we needed some quiet time. Then when it was over we would go over what we "learned". My 3 year old was happy to tell me how owls are nocturnal and eat their dinner at night. I will never again own a car that doesn't have a DVD system in it.

And lara no judgement here. We went away to Italy for 10 days last year when our kids were both under 2. My MIL and her best friend came to watch them. While I love my kids I don't want them to go with us on a much needed anniversary trip. It was the first time in 3 years we got out of the house without kids!

 

[LaraOnline]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

Hmph, I'll get you to talk my husband round!!

I'm annoyed I even have to 'make a stand' about it, somehow guilt creeps in, on being questioned as to why I should want to be separated from my darlings for 48 hours! Now he'll give in and I won't be able to enjoy the weekend away, knowing he wasn't keen?

...isn't it normally men that have that problem of having their lives turned into a kindergarten,
with their wives turning into 24/7/365 mothers?

ETA: he's got no problem leaving me to do the kiddy trips to the circus and Disney on Ice on my own though, lol!
what does it all mean?


... he doesn't want 'intimacy anymore?

 

[Mayk]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

Sometimes the teenagers are not any better. Took the girls to DC last year. They bickered then one was always mad and pouty. I wanted to knock their heads together. When Spring Break came and went this year with no plans I told them I wasn't doing it again. They had an attitude adjustment and begged for a trip before the end if summer. So we are doing a long weekend in Chicago. If they argue I'm leaving both of them in the hotel room. No pouting. They really don't fight but one says something hacks off the other and then we have a grumpy one being sullen and non participatory. Makes me crazy!!!

 

[orbaya]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

If the kids zone out for 4-5 very occasionally, especially to ensure a pleasurable and low-stress car ride is not going to harm them. If you planted them in front of a screen all day every day, that's a different story.

Once you are at your destination, pull out the activities.

 

[momhappy]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

I'm not sure why you would refuse allowing them to watch a movie? How old are they? Unless they are super-young and tv/movies may not be appropriate at that age, then there's nothing wrong with allowing video entertainment on certain occasions. Personally, I'd rather have happy kids/happy parents on long car rides and that can be achieved by supplying my kids with adequate entertainment, snacks, etc.

 

[momhappy]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

I'm not sure why you would refuse allowing them to watch a movie? How old are they? Unless they are super-young and tv/movies may not be appropriate at that age, then there's nothing wrong with allowing video entertainment on certain occasions. Personally, I'd rather have happy kids/happy parents on long car rides and that can be achieved by supplying my kids with adequate entertainment, snacks, etc.

 

[TooPatient]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

Hmph, I'll get you to talk my husband round!!

I'm annoyed I even have to 'make a stand' about it, somehow guilt creeps in, on being questioned as to why I should want to be separated from my darlings for 48 hours! Now he'll give in and I won't be able to enjoy the weekend away, knowing he wasn't keen?

...isn't it normally men that have that problem of having their lives turned into a kindergarten,
with their wives turning into 24/7/365 mothers?

ETA: he's got no problem leaving me to do the kiddy trips to the circus and Disney on Ice on my own though, lol!
what does it all mean?


... he doesn't want 'intimacy anymore?

Sorry you're dealing with this!

I'm with you -- some trips should be just for husband/wife. There should be family stuff too, but you NEED the time for just the two of you also.

And you're not alone....
FI actually seriously suggested that his 13 (will be 14 at the time) year old daughter could share a room with us on our wedding night
Thankfully all I had to do is look at him in shock and say "What?!? "

 

[Ally T]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

Last night my husband & I returned from a full THREE DAY trip to Dublin without the children! It was the first time we have ever both left them at the same time as usually we will go away with friends separately overnight, but also for three whole days, two whole nights and on a plane! I did feel slightly guilty, but they went on 'holiday' to my mum's, who is local & sees them twice a week, so they were more excited than I wanted them to be at the prospect of us leaving them

I made lots of calls, said goodnight to them each evening & we sent lots of pics back & forth, which was enough for all of us. Hubby & I totally chilled out, did some sightseeing, walked endlessly HOLDING EACH OTHER'S HANDS instead of little people's hands / pram, and drank wine in the middle of the day without a care in the world

I was glad to see them before bed last night, as they were us, and my 2 1/2 year old promptly told daddy not to take mummy away again, but it all worked really well. It was a lovely & well earned break after 4 1/2 years of constant parenting and just long enough to not upset anyone. My husband is 40 tomorrow which was the occasion, and next year he is talking about a sun drenched beach for my 40th for a week, but I would hate for them to miss out on a 'real' holiday. Plus a week would be far, far too long for me to leave them for

 

[backwardsandinheels]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

Yes, you and SB and momhappy are right. You just have to vent about the little darlings sometimes. They love each other most of the time but close quarters for a long period can breed some contempt among them. I could have just strapped a smart phone to the seat back and streamed something. I'm just hesitant to get that system in my car, they watch enough cartoons/movies at home.

 

[TooPatient]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

Took kids for a short notice weekend trip. They drove us crazy! Nutty loud singing in the car, random loud noises, poking each other. Husband and I decided we are too old to remember we did that stuff or we're too old to be parents. I refuse to get an in-car DVD to let them zone out...I gave them books, drawing supplies...they were okay with Scattergories and checkers for a bit. Thank God it was only for about 4-5 hours each way...

Took "A" and one of her friends on a 4 hour (each way) day trip last month. Both are 13 years old.

I figured they'd be quiet and read books or sleep (since we left really early). The drive over was okay as they pulled out the friend's phone and spent the entire trip texting a 3rd friend.
Oh the way back!!!
They started making up songs and singing them.... loudly. Plus poking, trying to knock each other off the seat, making random animal noises, etc!
And the friend started demonstrating the notes a soprano can hit.

I insisted we stop for dinner (in part because I needed food but mostly because I needed OUT OF THE CAR!) and then regretted it as I spent most of the meal saying "SHHHHHhhhh!" and reminding two middle school girls that we are inside and they can be heard clean in the other dining area.

Had to do the same trip a couple of weeks later but without the friend... I don't know which is worse!
FI and "A" spent the ENTIRE trip there and back talking politics (which isn't a great debate or anything as we all three agree in this area). Both of them wanted to be sure they could be heard over the noisy roads so the ENTIRE conversation took place at a yell


My approach next year will be to leave even earlier. Maybe if it is early enough I can have some peace and quiet as everyone else sleeps while I drive!

 

[JewelFreak]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

Lara -- give your DH a few columns by John Rosemund. You can find him online -- most sensible parenting advice in the world. His constant point is that the marriage should be the main relationship because without that, nothing else works well. And it's good for kids to learn they can do just fine for a few days without Mom & Dad, who did not, shockingly, sign up to be their children's shadows 24/7 every single day. You don't give up your own person-hood when you have children -- check him out!

--- Laurie

 

[ruby59]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

From an old married lady with 3 kids very close in age -

To be a good parent, you have to take care of yourself first and your spouse second. The old advice that your marriage should be at the center and your kids orbiting aound it still holds very true. As long as your kids are in a safe environment, it is important that mom and dad renew themselves and their marriage. And when they come home, they will be better parents for it.

In our home, a week in July was for family vacation and a week in August was our "honeymoon." The second allowed us to get through the first with a much more open and light hearted attitude.

 

[momhappy]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

I wouldn't even consider being away from my kids for more than a few days. I've never vacationed without them. For me, having kids has meant that I have made some sacrifices along the way, so for now, I've traded adult vacations for kid-fiendly ones and I'm fine with that

 

[amc80]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

I wouldn't even consider being away from my kids for more than a few days. I've never vacationed without them. For me, having kids has meant that I have made some sacrifices along the way, so for now, I've traded adult vacations for kid-fiendly ones and I'm fine with that

That's how we are. DH and I are going away for 3 nights in September...our son turns one in a couple of weeks (eek!). We have a big, family cruise planned for November, and the kiddo will of course be there. We figured this is our last chance to have some adult time before I am pregnant again.

 

[momhappy]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

^My kiddos are way older than yours and I can count the times that I've been away from them (for a night or two), on one hand!!!!
Enjoy your trip in September

 

[LibbyLA]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

When my brother and I were little, we often got to spend a weekend night with my mother's two maiden-lady aunts quite often and we were shipped off to our grandparents house for weeks at a time in the summer. And we LOVED IT! The aunts would make us washcloth ghosts to sleep with (a washcloth with a cotton ball in the center and a rubber band around the "neck" because we didn't haul our stuffed animals with us even though it wasn't very far) and play Burl Ives records for us to go to sleep by.

At one set of grandparents house, we ran wild outdoors, ate and slept when we wanted to, rode the horses, played with the goats and chickens, and only had to bathe on Saturday nights so we'd be sort of clean for church. (We did go swimming in a creek most days so it's not like we were completely filthy.) We didn't necessarily smell much better after our baths because Granny had a wringer washer and the towels didn't always dry in the southern humidity so they smelled kind of sour, and there was usually one tub of water that all us kids took a serial bath in (or two or three kids and then a fresh tub of water).

I know things are a lot different now, but it's not a bad thing for kids to be away from their parents from time to time.

liz

 

[SB621]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

When my brother and I were little, we often got to spend a weekend night with my mother's two maiden-lady aunts quite often and we were shipped off to our grandparents house for weeks at a time in the summer. And we LOVED IT! The aunts would make us washcloth ghosts to sleep with (a washcloth with a cotton ball in the center and a rubber band around the "neck" because we didn't haul our stuffed animals with us even though it wasn't very far) and play Burl Ives records for us to go to sleep by.

At one set of grandparents house, we ran wild outdoors, ate and slept when we wanted to, rode the horses, played with the goats and chickens, and only had to bathe on Saturday nights so we'd be sort of clean for church. (We did go swimming in a creek most days so it's not like we were completely filthy.) We didn't necessarily smell much better after our baths because Granny had a wringer washer and the towels didn't always dry in the southern humidity so they smelled kind of sour, and there was usually one tub of water that all us kids took a serial bath in (or two or three kids and then a fresh tub of water).

I know things are a lot different now, but it's not a bad thing for kids to be away from their parents from time to time.

liz

That is awesome!!!!! When we had children my MIL bought me the movie Aunti Mame with Rosalind Russell. She said if I thought for one minute that DH and I wouldn't ship the kids off to her every summer for at least a week I had another thing coming to me. She grew up on a horse ranch and taught my DH to ride bare back when he was 4 yo and to swim in a creek in their backyard as well. "Adventures" will be a nightly occurence of chasing after fireflies and long drives down route 66 stopping at every ice cream stand. I honestly can't even imagine having my kids with me all the time. DH and I practically jump everytime my MIL offers to watch them so we can take off for a few days of alone time. Of course we do family vacations but I'm a firm believer in my kids are happiest when DH and I are functioning human beings!

 

[momhappy]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

^That sounds great, but not everyone has the luxury of having qualified family members to care for their children for extended periods of time. We have no family to watch the kids and again, it's just not within my comfort zone to have someone take over my parenting responsibilities. I have no issue with couples who vacation together without kids, but it's not for everyone.

 

[SB621]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

^That sounds great, but not everyone has the luxury of having qualified family members to care for their children for extended periods of time. We have no family to watch the kids and again, it's just not within my comfort zone to have someone take over my parenting responsibilities. I have no issue with couples who vacation together without kids, but it's not for everyone.

I completely understand Momhappy. And yes I am very lucky that my MIL is very active with the kids. I would never leave my children with my side of the family, not even an hour. But I think the point that I was agreeing with Ruby and Libby is that it is healthy for everyone when the kids get time away from the parents and vice versa. I think everyone reacts differently when their parents are there with them and there is so much growing during seperation for all.

Sorry OP for the thread jack!

 

[backwardsandinheels]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

Not at all, I love all of the input. Sooo great about getting to run around and be dirty. That is what being a kid in the summer is all about. We went to Europe for a few nights when youngest was 6 months old. We go away for a weekend or two every year and 1 or 2 family vacations. DDH knows if there is a jewel store I get to stop in and he's cool with that. Luckily he likes antiques and sometimes a store has both-win win! Parents first, then kids I say. We were married 10 years before any kids. I can't really leave them with my family either but have a network of nice college women and moms of older kids (practicing to be Grandmas ; ) who happily help. I can see being fearful. I do think it is good for kids to see they can be okay without you and practice trusting someone else who will look out for them and love them as you would. Boy, the hugs when you return

 

[LaraOnline]

Re: Took kids 4 a short notice weekend trip-they drove us cr

Just got back from my twice-daily long school drive.
My six-year-old son has taken to making random squealing noises, and then laughing hysterically.
Rinse and repeat for two hours a day....

I also have no DVD system in the car...
Thanks for all your comments Ladies, re my 'side issue' on travelling with children.
What I hate about the subject (of 'romantic' 10-YEAR ANNIVERSARY weekend trip sans kids) is that by even mentioning we 'could do the trip without the kids', you get both the duty AND the guilt - when what you're looking for is the acknowledgement that YES your whole world has been a a kindergarten for 10 years, and shall continue to be - THANKS MUM - and that a little fresh air would occasionally be good for all. I'm not talking fobbing off parenting duties here, I'm allowing them to have fun at a reliable and experienced aunty's house, for two nights lol.

Actually, the woman who offered has her own parents and in-laws take her children for a week or even two weeks at a time. Several times a year. She is the best mother I know. A perfect Mary Poppins!