Tips on preparing dog for baby

[SMC]

Hi everyone,

DH and I adopted a puppy, Phinney, 1.5 years ago and she is currently the love of our lives and is very spoiled. She is a very sweet, loving creature and is very friendly to all people. She's actually TOO friendly as she will try to greet anyone that passes her on the street and will jump up sometimes. We've been through at least 3 training classes together (pre-school, kindergarten, middle school) together but she has poor impulse control when it comes to jumping up and greeting. We use rewards-based training methods on her and don't ever hit or punish her with violence (and will never do so).

She's a medium-sized dog (30 lbs). She is crate-trained but she has been sleeping in our bed for the last few months. We hope she will continue to be in our bed as we don't plan on putting the human baby in our bed ever (I do not plan on co-sleeping).

DH and I are currently expecting our first child in early Feb 2015. I wasn't worried about how Phinney would interact with our child because she's never been possessive of any of her food or toys or mean towards anyone. You can take away her food or treat or toy while she's eating or playing and she won't even growl, she'll either move on or wait for you to give it back. When you stick a finger in her mouth while playing tug, she will let go and drop the toy immediately - actually she will drop anything that's in her mouth as soon as she feels contact with fingers. She's never been snippy and is very gentle when she takes treats. However, my SIL has been repeatedly mentioning that Phinney will get jealous of the baby and be mean to him/her. She's talked about it enough that my DH and I have gotten a little worried (we were never concerned before).

I've read up on how to prepare dog for baby, but do you any of you BTDT-parents have any tips on what worked for you? Please don't suggest any methods that involve hitting her or using any electric collars or prong collars.

Just to be clear, we are NOT planning on getting rid of our dog. We just want to prepare ourselves in the best possible way so the situation will work smoothly. Adding a new baby to our lives is stressful enough as it is!

Thanks in advance for the advice!

 

[monarch64]

My dog has never been anything but protective towards our child. The worst she does is try to lick her in the face when we walk in the door, which bothers the toddler a bit but doesn't hurt her. The kid just kind of motions her away at this point.

I've never heard of a dog becoming jealous and trying to harm a child. No one told us that when I was pregnant. Honestly I would ignore anyone who gives you that kind of stupid advice. You'll be hearing a lot of it now...for years.

 

[momhappy]

First of all, congrats on such an adorable dog and congrats on the pregnancy!!!
Second, there is no way to know how your dog will react to baby, so don't read too much into what your SIL has told you. Some dogs react react positively, some negatively, and some are neutral. Our spoiled rotten dog (we called him our "first baby" ) was sort of curious about the babies, but indifferent for the most part. I think that it can be a big adjustment for the dog too (the crying, the decrease in attention from you, the change in routines, etc.), so be prepared to give your dog extra love when you can. If it truly worries you, you can hire a professional dog trainer to come in before and/or after the baby is born.

 

[ericad]

After our daughter was born, while she and I were still in the hospital, DH brought home a couple of her blankies, her cap, etc. and left them in the house for the dogs to smell to get used to her scent. I have no clue if this helped at all, lol.

When we brought her home, they sniffed her and that was pretty much the end of it. It wasn't until she started crawling that we needed to be super diligent because one of our dogs was the jumpy type and would have nipped her if startled.

We also made sure to give the dogs lots of one on one attention to avoid jealousy. Yes, I humanize my dogs' emotions. It's not weird.

 

[SMC]

My dog has never been anything but protective towards our child. The worst she does is try to lick her in the face when we walk in the door, which bothers the toddler a bit but doesn't hurt her. The kid just kind of motions her away at this point.

I've never heard of a dog becoming jealous and trying to harm a child. No one told us that when I was pregnant. Honestly I would ignore anyone who gives you that kind of stupid advice. You'll be hearing a lot of it now...for years.

Thanks for the reassurance! Let me mention that my SIL has only met my dog once as a puppy and has never had a dog of her own. I was actually a little annoyed when she mentioned it to my DH and more annoyed when she brought it up in our family chat group, but I will just ignore it for now.

First of all, congrats on such an adorable dog and congrats on the pregnancy!!!
Second, there is no way to know how your dog will react to baby, so don't read too much into what your SIL has told you. Some dogs react react positively, some negatively, and some are neutral. Our spoiled rotten dog (we called him our "first baby" ) was sort of curious about the babies, but indifferent for the most part. I think that it can be a big adjustment for the dog too (the crying, the decrease in attention from you, the change in routines, etc.), so be prepared to give your dog extra love when you can. If it truly worries you, you can hire a professional dog trainer to come in before and/or after the baby is born.

One of my biggest worries is actually how my relationship with my dog is going to change. But yes, I will try to decrease my attention towards her gradually in the months leading up so it's not such a huge shock when the baby comes. It's just so hard because I want to pet and kiss her all the time when we're home. She will snuggle up right next to me and put her head in my lap or next to my face if we're sleeping.

After our daughter was born, while she and I were still in the hospital, DH brought home a couple of her blankies, her cap, etc. and left them in the house for the dogs to smell to get used to her scent. I have no clue if this helped at all, lol.

When we brought her home, they sniffed her and that was pretty much the end of it. It wasn't until she started crawling that we needed to be super diligent because one of our dogs was the jumpy type and would have nipped her if startled.

We also made sure to give the dogs lots of one on one attention to avoid jealousy. Yes, I humanize my dogs' emotions. It's not weird.

Haha, I think of my dog as a miniature human too! It's not weird if you're a pet owner. Good tip on the blankets - I'll make a note to get DH to bring some home from the hospital with the baby's scent on them.

 

[Calliecake]

SMC, Someone told my sister the same thing when she was pregnant. My sister was particularly worried because her dog was 8 years old and was used to constantly being with her. They brought blankets home from the hospital with the baby's scent as was suggested here. The dog was so protective of the baby. When people came to meet the baby, Bear stayed right by the baby watching. Bear and my niece were best friend from then on. My niece would sleep on him, use him to pull herself up and the dog would never leave her side. It sounds like your dog is a sweetheart. Just watch her closely with the baby and continue to give her lots of attention. My guess is she will be fine.

EricaD, I call my dog my daughter (I don't have children). I totally understand!

 

[ponder]

My dog has never been anything but protective towards our child. The worst she does is try to lick her in the face when we walk in the door, which bothers the toddler a bit but doesn't hurt her. The kid just kind of motions her away at this point.

I've never heard of a dog becoming jealous and trying to harm a child. No one told us that when I was pregnant. Honestly I would ignore anyone who gives you that kind of stupid advice. You'll be hearing a lot of it now...for years.

It's not a bad idea to acclimate your dog to a new baby. My SIL and I were at a fitting appointment for my wedding and she had my 6week old niece asleep in a carrier. We placed the carrier on the floor and while our backs were turned towards the mirrored alcove the seamstresses' dog snuck in and took an aggressive stance, bared it's teeth, and growled menacingly at the baby. It was truly scary and very surprising as the dog is never aggressive. The only thing that we can figure is that the dog had never encountered an infant before and did not know what to make of it. Until you know exactly how your dog is going to react, I would be cautious.

 

[arkieb1]

It doesn't strike me that you have a mean or overly aggressive type of dog to start with. So when the baby comes along she might be sad she is getting less attention and might push around your ankles for attention and become more of a trip hazard wanting to be around you all the time...... Monitor your dogs reaction when you bring the baby home, never leave them alone together to begin with. You should also be careful that when your child is left lying anywhere that your dog cannot jump on and knock the baby over, or scratch or suffocate the baby, this can be done by accident by friendly dogs wanting to be involved in everything not out of any sort of jealous type reaction. We have 5 dogs, I breed Scotties, my son has been brought up with them and they with him.

 

[hippi_pixi]

You could look at the pack mentality of the dog and adjust if needed. Even pet dogs still see the family as a pack and someone has to be packleader. if you arn't, she will step up and be pack leader.

In my house I am pack leader, the dog, Oscar, thinks he is second and unfortunately he thinks my husband is bottom dog. I'm top dog becuase I am in control, i tell him to move if he's in my spot, make him walk beside or behind me on walks, I go through doorways and up stairs first, i eat first and he eats last. I've always told him what to do and he respects me. My husband has never told him what to do so while i can come and go as i please, Oscar barks and chases DH if he leaves the room or house, doesn't move of the couch when DH comes to sit, doesn't obey his commands. I try to get my husband to assert himself but he's not consistant enough.

Don't get me wrong Oscar is our first baby and very loved, also sleeps on our bed, but again we get the best sleeping spots and he sleeps by our feet.

We're going to start a family soon so I will make sure Oscar knows the baby is above him in the pecking order. That's my approach anyway. I wouldn't worry about your SIL though it doesn't sound like she has much experience with animals

 

[SB621]

My only advise is addition is to not stress over it. When we brought our 1st (and 2nd) child home, both of our dogs just sniffed at them for a moment and then laid down someone else. Our dogs are very low key though.

 

[monarch64]

You could look at the pack mentality of the dog and adjust if needed. Even pet dogs still see the family as a pack and someone has to be packleader. if you arn't, she will step up and be pack leader.

In my house I am pack leader, the dog, Oscar, thinks he is second and unfortunately he thinks my husband is bottom dog. I'm top dog becuase I am in control, i tell him to move if he's in my spot, make him walk beside or behind me on walks, I go through doorways and up stairs first, i eat first and he eats last. I've always told him what to do and he respects me. My husband has never told him what to do so while i can come and go as i please, Oscar barks and chases DH if he leaves the room or house, doesn't move of the couch when DH comes to sit, doesn't obey his commands. I try to get my husband to assert himself but he's not consistant enough.

Don't get me wrong Oscar is our first baby and very loved, also sleeps on our bed, but again we get the best sleeping spots and he sleeps by our feet.

We're going to start a family soon so I will make sure Oscar knows the baby is above him in the pecking order. That's my approach anyway. I wouldn't worry about your SIL though it doesn't sound like she has much experience with animals

All very good advice, but OP has already stated that although the dog is crate-trained they allow (and want) the dog to sleep in bed with them. So if that behavior continues, dog is going to know that baby is below her in the pack. That could lead to aggressive behavior but it's not necessarily likely. I imagine if they were to bring baby into bed for any reason the dog would NOT like it.

 

[SMC]

Thanks for the advice, everyone! We'll definitely do the blankets. We don't have many friends around with babies, so it might be a little hard to acclimate her to be around them before our real baby comes. I feel like I know my dog pretty well though, and I think we will make it work as a family.

 

[KaeKae]

Congratulations on the coming addition to the family! My older daughter is nineteen this month, so it's been a while, but I remember being a little concerned about the dog, who'd been my baby for four years.

What we did, was let her in on all the prep for the baby. She was allowed in the nursery, as we prepared it. We let her check out the furniture, etc as it arrived. We brought out diapers, wipes, clothes, and so on, so she could sniff and check them out.

I can't say for sure if what we did was the trick,, but Gizmo accepted the baby right away. There was many a time, when I would be nursing baby, with Gizmo snuggled up next to us on the couch. They were buddies, for sure.

 

[kgizo]

The best advice I was given is that you take the dog out to either the new person or new dog if you're bringing a new dog into the family, introduce them outside and then all come inside together. With a baby it's suggested to take the dog out to the car on a leash with the baby still in the car seat, that way the dog can smell the baby and then see you pick up the baby. Your house is your dog's home and territory and he will protect it, but if you all "invite" the new family member in to your home together that lets the dog now everything's okay and the person is welcome.

Also, pick up plenty of extra dog toys. That way when you take something of the baby's from the dog you can quickly give the dog something acceptable to use. I've heard of problems where dogs do develop jealousy because they feel all the toys are going to the new baby. It's an easy fix with some Nylabones. I recommend those because they should keep the dog engaged a little longer because of the food smell.

Congrats and good luck!

 

[iluvshinythings]

We had a rottweiler (Madam) when my daughter was born and I shared your concerns. We used normal precautions and never left the baby and the dog alone together. Madam was curious when the baby cried but never showed any signs of aggression. She was actually cute when my daughter started crawling and would bend her legs so that she was at baby eye level to watch.

I'm sure you SIL has good intentions but the dog and the baby will probably co-exist fine and be good buddies one of these days.

 

[SMC]

Thanks for the tips! I'll remember to get some extra toys for Phinney so she can have them when the baby comes. There's no room that's off limits to her now, including the nursery, and we're planning on letting it stay that way unless something unexpected comes up. I'm getting the car seat and stroller a couple months before the baby comes and plan to have her see me carry it in and out a few times as well so she can get used to me carrying big objects.