THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriously?

[TravelingGal]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

Oh come on Holly! If she was a PSer and posted her pic here, we'd all say she was gorgeous.

T-Gal-I agree! In fact, in this picture I think she is gorgeous! Since when does five extra pounds make a gorgeous woman not gorgeous? Jeez!!! If she looked like this in every picture, I'd give her an award!

Deb/AGBF

She does benefit from the far-away-shot here with a bit of fuzziness. But, no, nothing at all wrong with her photo here . . . except . . .

She's the one who talked about how trim she was. I'm not throwing stones at her for a bit of a bulge. There is a difference between being a hater and someone pointing out the obvious flaws in her argument.

Holly, you can be trim and have bulge......

 

[HollyS]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

In her self-centered world? She gets to have a bulge. You and I don't.

It boils down to this: would she have received the backlash if she had said, "I don't understand people's attitudes about my looks; I'm only reasonably attractive"? Probably not.

But what she said was, "I'm beautiful", and then elaborated on the myriad ways in which she surpasses the majority of women. She doesn't think she's average, pretty, cute, normal, yadda, yadda, yadda. She's special.

Ergo, her backlash.

 

[TravelingGal]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

In her self-centered world? She gets to have a bulge. You and I don't.

It boils down to this: would she have received the backlash if she had said, "I don't understand people's attitudes about my looks; I'm only reasonably attractive"? Probably not.

But what she said was, "I'm beautiful", and then elaborated on the myriad ways in which she surpasses the majority of women. She doesn't think she's average, pretty, cute, normal, yadda, yadda, yadda. She's special.

Ergo, her backlash.

Holly, have you read the article she wrote?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2124246/Samantha-Brick-downsides-looking-pretty-Why-women-hate-beautiful.html

She does go on a bit too much about the unfairness she receives from women. However when it comes to her own looks she says this:

"While I’m no Elle Macpherson, I’m tall, slim, blonde and, so I’m often told, a good-looking woman. I know how lucky I am."

When it comes to the freebies she gets, she said it's because "my pleasing appearance and pretty smile made their day." By the way, people with crooked teeth can have nice smiles too, since smiles are more than simply an upturn of the mouth.

The article also has some better looking photos of her too, where I do think she looks pretty good. She says she has "lovely looks" but she doesn't seem to think she's supermodel gorgeous. I have no problem with her confidence about her appearance. I find it more refreshing than women who bemoan every gray hair or bulge. I do think she does have a chip on her shoulder though...her perception of how she believes women perceive her because of her looks probably alters her own behaviors toward women - which is what I think most women find annoying about her, not her looks.

 

[TravelingGal]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

Also...

My cousin is a very attractive woman. Heads turn, I've seen it all my life. She has, no doubt, been able to get ahead in some things because her looks help her out. If you spend a lifetime getting "bonuses" because you are attractive, you just know it. Like when this British woman said "it's not a surprise" to get things. I just take that as matter of fact instead of bragging...because it is what it is.

When I realized my cousin had it encoded IN her that she's good looking was when a bunch of us gals walked down Robertson Blvd in West Hollywood (a huge gay population). She said, half to herself, half to us..."Isn't it weird to walk down the street and have no one check you out?" We all stopped and literally gaped (then laughed) at her. Her sister said, "You really mean that, don't you?" The rest of us said, no, we don't think that way. We're not aware of our looks or other people's awareness of it.

My cousin really isn't a narcissist. She's smart, empathetic, friendly, and a wonderful person. But she's beautiful and she KNOWS it. There's no way she couldn't know it. (and for the record, her teeth aren't perfectly straight either, but her smile is one of her most amazing features.)

 

[Maisie]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

I've looked up this lady's articles - she MUST be doing these things to make waves and get attention. Articles about dressing expressly to please her male boss (and thus using sex appeal to get ahead at work), allowing her husband to choose all her clothes, not getting fat to avoid divorce, never complaining about your husband having a mistress, etc. It's just controversial, tongue wagging crap. She's an average looking woman who is, IMO, very clever.

My opinion EXACTLY. She wrote this knowing or at least hoping it would go viral and get her lots of attention for a blog or a book deal or something. Apparently she was even on a big UK morning show today. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2125464/Samantha-Brick-defends-Daily-Mail-article-Twitter-storm-This-Morning.html

Oh, good grief. I was right. She really is rather fugly up close in HD. Troll or in need of therapy? Either way, she's an a$$clown.

Oh come on Holly! If she was a PSer and posted her pic here, we'd all say she was gorgeous. She's not ugly...she's just not as stunning as she thinks she is. And if she doesn't think she's stunning but just wants attention, she's smart enough to go how to get it.

From the video, I think she's cute. I think it's too bad that she thinks women won't like her just because she is attractive...my guess it's her attitude that women find offputting (that mentality oozes through your pores whether you know it or not). And because she's probably flirtatious with men, I think they are responding more to her behavior than to her looks.

If she was a PS'er and had a really lovely personality then yes, we would say she is gorgeous. If I don't like someone on here it wouldn't matter what they looked like. I wouldn't think they were beautiful. An average looking woman (or man) can be extremely attractive if they have a fabulous personality.

 

[TravelingGal]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

If she was a PS'er and had a really lovely personality then yes, we would say she is gorgeous. If I don't like someone on here it wouldn't matter what they looked like. I wouldn't think they were beautiful. An average looking woman (or man) can be extremely attractive if they have a fabulous personality.

Ha, and not only that...I've actually met people in my life who would be considered pretty unattractive at face value (no pun intended), but have such fun personalities, I end up thinking...damn, this person is actually very cute!

It's really about investment/ROI, IMHO. I would rather spend more time tweaking my inner spirit than my outer self...because my efforts on the inside can give me returns for life. The outside, not so much.

 

[Laila619]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

If she thinks she's beautiful and hot, I say more power to her! I don't necessarily think she is, but it's great that she is so confident in herself. More women should be confident in their looks instead of starving themselves to look like a model or getting plastic surgery to reach some unattainable ideal. I don't have half the self-confidence she does. It's all in good fun, as long as she's not hurting anyone. She may be a bit delusional, but let her have her delusions.

 

[Lottie]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

A slightly different angle on this from the Guardian -

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/apr/04/samantha-brick-thrown-to-wolves?fb=optOut

 

[Jennifer W]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

If she was a PS'er and had a really lovely personality then yes, we would say she is gorgeous. If I don't like someone on here it wouldn't matter what they looked like. I wouldn't think they were beautiful. An average looking woman (or man) can be extremely attractive if they have a fabulous personality.

Ha, and not only that...I've actually met people in my life who would be considered pretty unattractive at face value (no pun intended), but have such fun personalities, I end up thinking...damn, this person is actually very cute!

It's really about investment/ROI, IMHO. I would rather spend more time tweaking my inner spirit than my outer self...because my efforts on the inside can give me returns for life. The outside, not so much.

Smart words!

I don't care enough about her to read her article or form an opinion on her looks (and I intensely dislike the publication it was in, so I won't click on it) but I do like this sentiment, TGal.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

I'm going to go on a limb here, and say that in her prime she was probably attractive enough to get a lot of attention from the opposite sex, but she is now writing about historical events.....

 

[canuk-gal]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

So that's what Beau looks like.

BOOM!

I always thought Beau was rather pretty!


Anyway this gal obviously colors her hair and is therefore NOT to be trusted!

TGIF!

cheers--Sharon

 

[Black Jade]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

If she thinks she's beautiful and hot, I say more power to her! I don't necessarily think she is, but it's great that she is so confident in herself. More women should be confident in their looks instead of starving themselves to look like a model or getting plastic surgery to reach some unattainable ideal. I don't have half the self-confidence she does. It's all in good fun, as long as she's not hurting anyone. She may be a bit delusional, but let her have her delusions.

Agree with above.
Self-confidence is a GOOD thing--why shoot it down?
She thinks she's pretty--and everyone jumps on her and says all the ways she isn't perfect (which she isn't, but who is?) Angelina Jolie and Elizabeth Hurley and these other media promoted people in air brushed photos are not perfect either and are we all supposed to go around being miserable that we are not them? And drop dead if our teeth are not straight and we have a muffin top?
I think I'm pretty, too and I have plenty of flaws. I have big feet and short legs and a flat butt--and that's just the bottom half! But so what? I also have good skin and even features and thick hair--and I can call attention to those and not to the parts that are not so great. And I can straighten my shoulders and hold up my head and smile when I come into a room. It's surprising when you do that, how many people decide that you are just drop-dead gorgeous! Confidence does a lot!

It's not a zero sum game and because she thinks she's pretty doesn't mean that other women aren't pretty, too. We need to encourage each other! there's so much out there tearing us down! I'm sorry that she has no female friends. Women friends can be a great blessing. I hope she fixes that part--and keeps her self-confidence which is all too rare, unfortunately in our society (and I believe this problem is advertiser generated--but that's another story).

 

[HollyS]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

If she thinks she's beautiful and hot, I say more power to her! I don't necessarily think she is, but it's great that she is so confident in herself. More women should be confident in their looks instead of starving themselves to look like a model or getting plastic surgery to reach some unattainable ideal. I don't have half the self-confidence she does. It's all in good fun, as long as she's not hurting anyone. She may be a bit delusional, but let her have her delusions.

Agree with above.
Self-confidence is a GOOD thing--why shoot it down?
She thinks she's pretty--and everyone jumps on her and says all the ways she isn't perfect (which she isn't, but who is?) Angelina Jolie and Elizabeth Hurley and these other media promoted people in air brushed photos are not perfect either and are we all supposed to go around being miserable that we are not them? And drop dead if our teeth are not straight and we have a muffin top?
I think I'm pretty, too and I have plenty of flaws. I have big feet and short legs and a flat butt--and that's just the bottom half! But so what? I also have good skin and even features and thick hair--and I can call attention to those and not to the parts that are not so great. And I can straighten my shoulders and hold up my head and smile when I come into a room. It's surprising when you do that, how many people decide that you are just drop-dead gorgeous! Confidence does a lot!

It's not a zero sum game and because she thinks she's pretty doesn't mean that other women aren't pretty, too. We need to encourage each other! there's so much out there tearing us down! I'm sorry that she has no female friends. Women friends can be a great blessing. I hope she fixes that part--and keeps her self-confidence which is all too rare, unfortunately in our society (and I believe this problem is advertiser generated--but that's another story).

Nothing wrong with self-confidence. But she isn't just making the most of what she has; according to her, other women hate her primarily because they feel they cannot compete with her fabulous looks.

C'mon. We all look in the mirror and think, "Hey, not bad!" at least once in awhile. We don't assume that we will get preferential treatment from men and disdain, fear, distrust, jealousy, and back stabbing from other women because we feel good about ourselves. I don't think anyone here thinks they're all that AND the bag of chips, you know? But she does. That's my point.

Her 'problem' really has nothing to do with normal behavior and attitudes. It's manufactured drama of her own making. And might just be a complete fabrication anyway.

 

[packrat]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

What she *thinks* she looks like and what she *really* looks like, reminds me of this picture, which popped in my head when someone mentioned running earlier. The article strikes me as just a way to get attention, be noticed, get her name out there. Like the guy who complained about adults reading "children's" books. My husband and I make smart ass comments to each other all the time about whatever we happen to be talking about or doing...cat like reflexes, superior intellect, mad ninja skillz, extreme cunning, overpowering the world w/our insane gardening skillz b/c everyone wishes they could be awesome like us, and the more overblown and dramatic we can make it, the better and funnier it is. To be a smart ass, I'd've written an article about my extreme loveliness and titled it "Squint as you approach lest my beauty blind you".

 

[NOYFB]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

She's a troll. Plain and simple. The fact that people are having debates over whether she is or isn't actually very pretty, and commenting on her diatribe, just solidifies her case. As with any troll, if we stop feeding it, it will go away. There are 3 pages about this on this website alone. If she really is as narcissistic as she portrays herself to be, she is loving this, I'm sure. And we are all contributing to her narcissism by continuing to comment on it.

 

[Enerchi]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

Pack rat, that poster is hilarious!!! I look like #2 when I run as well!!

 

[innerkitten]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

Looking at her photo I think she is kind of pretty. Maybe you have to see her in person. Maybe she radiates inner beauty or pheromones or something.
But it sure was a weird article to write.

 

[MissStepcut]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

I've known a few women like this in my time, who are convinced other women don't like them because their attractive. Funny enough, I've also known some model-gorgeous women with tons of female friends. I'm sure the idea that it's their outstanding beauty and not their pisspoor personality that stands between them and female friendship, but it doesn't really seem to mesh with reality.

Of course, it's easier to find friendship (and ego-stroking) among men who find you attractive. Some men will let you prattle on and on about yourself selfishly without ever being put off. I'm sure the majority of women can point to things men have given them, or tried to give them, based on their physical appearance. I'd like to think that most women realize that men who offer you trips on the basis of your appearance are skeevy and don't accept, though.

 

[tuffyluvr]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

Huh. Interesting. I dont find her to me hideously ugly, rather quite plain with an ugly, flawed personality. Gross

 

[zoebartlett]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

That is hilarious, Packrat! I can relate.

 

[Maisie]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

I watched her interview on TV. She came across as bright, intelligent and rather defensive....which is to be expected seeing as the majority of women have reacted badly to her article.

She does seem mildly flirtatious. I wonder if thats why the women she meets don't respond very well to her.

 

[Haven]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

I watched her interview on TV. She came across as bright, intelligent and rather defensive....which is to be expected seeing as the majority of women have reacted badly to her article.

She does seem mildly flirtatious. I wonder if thats why the women she meets don't respond very well to her.

I'm willing to bet on it!

I haven't watched any of her interviews, but I really think demeanor has so much more to do with the way women respond to each other than appearance. Maybe a woman will be put off by a stunning woman upon first sight, but if the stunner is warm and friendly (and doesn't flirt with anyone's SO!) then she's likely to get a warm response from others.

I feel like I learned about this in my social psych class--that we think attractive people are nicer, smarter, and kinder than less attractive people. Am I misremembering? Dreamer, are you out there? It's been over a decade, so my apologies if I'm totally off.

ETA: I also meant to say that I don't care what someone looks like, if she flirts with my husband, I ain't gonna like her.

 

[missy]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

I watched her interview on TV. She came across as bright, intelligent and rather defensive....which is to be expected seeing as the majority of women have reacted badly to her article.

She does seem mildly flirtatious. I wonder if thats why the women she meets don't respond very well to her.

I'm willing to bet on it!

I haven't watched any of her interviews, but I really think demeanor has so much more to do with the way women respond to each other than appearance. Maybe a woman will be put off by a stunning woman upon first sight, but if the stunner is warm and friendly (and doesn't flirt with anyone's SO!) then she's likely to get a warm response from others.

I feel like I learned about this in my social psych class--that we think attractive people are nicer, smarter, and kinder than less attractive people. Am I misremembering? Dreamer, are you out there? It's been over a decade, so my apologies if I'm totally off.

ETA: I also meant to say that I don't care what someone looks like, if she flirts with my husband, I ain't gonna like her.

I think this is right Haven. We are drawn to more attractive people and think they are smarter and nicer. However, I will add, that once I get to "know" someone my perception can totally change. Someone who is deemed "unattractive" physically by most people can suddenly become so beautiful to me if they are a kind person and someone who is physically beautiful can become "ugly" to me if they are a mean and petty person. It really happens and from then on I "see" them as they are on the inside if that makes any sense.

Looks fade but who you are as a person is always true and steadfast and is what makes someone truly beautiful or ugly. (IMO).

And totally agree with you on the flirting with the dh...if someone does that I am going to really not like her at all.

 

[Jennifer W]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

I vaguely remember that from my psychology day, too.

Have to say though, mostly I am amused when people flirt with my husband. I don't really care if someone wants to flirt with him, because it isn't going anywhere for them, and I'm going to feel a wee bit sorry for anyone doing that because it's a pointless endeavour. In his own head, I really AM the woman no one could compete with. So, flirt away, I won't hate you, and he won't date you.

 

[missy]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

I vaguely remember that from my psychology day, too.

Have to say though, mostly I am amused when people flirt with my husband. I don't really care if someone wants to flirt with him, because it isn't going anywhere for them, and I'm going to feel a wee bit sorry for anyone doing that because it's a pointless endeavour. In his own head, I really AM the woman no one could compete with. So, flirt away, I won't hate you, and he won't date you.

I just think it is so disrespectful to flirt with someone's SO. Of course that is just the way I feel and doesn't mean it is the way anyone else should feel but in my view it is rude.
And I admit, I get this almost primal hate when someone does it. And it has nothing to do with my self image or security re our relationship. I trust my dh completely. It's just this primal feeling I almost have no control over.

 

[Porridge]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

Ditto Haven and Missy.

The more I think about it, the more I think how horrifically conceited, shallow, and downright offensive it is to TELL people that the reason they don't like you is solely based on your appearance! I hold onto the hope that the world isn't as vacuous as she seems to think, and that most people's reasons for liking and disliking people have very little, if anything, to do with a person's looks and everything to do with their ability to judge that person's character

 

[princesss]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

I vaguely remember that from my psychology day, too.

Have to say though, mostly I am amused when people flirt with my husband. I don't really care if someone wants to flirt with him, because it isn't going anywhere for them, and I'm going to feel a wee bit sorry for anyone doing that because it's a pointless endeavour. In his own head, I really AM the woman no one could compete with. So, flirt away, I won't hate you, and he won't date you.

I absolutely love this! I mean, it's not how I feel, because flirting with my BF is a pretty quick way to get yourself on my sh*t list, but I wish I could have your attitude. (BF thinks it's hilarious when guys flirt with me, because he feels the same way you do - he knows I'm not going anywhere, so what's the harm?)

 

[Haven]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

I vaguely remember that from my psychology day, too.

Have to say though, mostly I am amused when people flirt with my husband. I don't really care if someone wants to flirt with him, because it isn't going anywhere for them, and I'm going to feel a wee bit sorry for anyone doing that because it's a pointless endeavour. In his own head, I really AM the woman no one could compete with. So, flirt away, I won't hate you, and he won't date you.

I just think it is so disrespectful to flirt with someone's SO. Of course that is just the way I feel and doesn't mean it is the way anyone else should feel but in my view it is rude.
And I admit, I get this almost primal hate when someone does it. And it has nothing to do with my self image or security re our relationship. I trust my dh completely. It's just this primal feeling I almost have no control over.

Yes, this is how I feel as well.

I don't feel threatened in the sense that I'm worried my DH is going to be attracted to the flirter. It's more of a big red flag that this is not someone with whom I am going to get along because our values and sense of what is and isn't appropriate are just so different.

Not that I've ever really had this issue, though. I can think of only one woman who has ever flirted with my husband in front of me, and she's someone we both know to be very insecure and constantly flirting with any and every man in her presence. DH doesn't exactly send the vibe that it's okay to flirt with him, and neither do I, so neither of us find ourselves being flirted with very often.

 

[innerkitten]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

I watched her interview on TV. She came across as bright, intelligent and rather defensive....which is to be expected seeing as the majority of women have reacted badly to her article.

She does seem mildly flirtatious. I wonder if thats why the women she meets don't respond very well to her.

Very possible.

 

[partgypsy]

Re: THIS woman thinks she's too pretty to be liked?? Seriou

That's the word, she is the writer equivelant of a troll, she writes articles to push people's buttons. If her articles were about remotely real historical events, any small amount of self-reflection would allow he to realize that woman don't like her because of her looks, but because she uses her looks and feminity with men to cheat and get unfair advantage in the work place, and most likely doesn't turn it off when around her female friend's husbands too. I don't get angry at women like that, but it does annoy me. It makes me think, you probably wouldn't give him the time of day if he was single, but now since he is attached and maybe spruced up a little it makes him more desirable to you? Not that I think my husband would stray but females who do that obviously don't respect boundaries.

Personally when I was in high school and college had a similar problem, I was so blindingly beautiful and hot that, guys were so intimidated by me they just wouldn't ask me out. They would longingly but studious behave as if I didn't exist, simply to protect their hearts from breaking Maybe other people would interpret it differently but that's my story and I'm sticking to it!