This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway...

[Italiahaircolor]

Okay, I'm probably being a small person...feel free to hand me my a** if you need too. It's really a very small matter, but I'm torn and figured I'd open it up to suggestions...

Over a month ago I placed an order on Etsy for a few perfumes. I needed them for an upcoming trip for which I'm making welcome baskets, they were themed scents and perfectly suited for where we're going and all of that. I had ordered product from the seller before, and she was wonderful to work with. Very nice, very personable, and friendly. The order arrived promptly and was perfect. I was thrilled to have the excuse to order from her again and she was the whole reason I decided to do welcome baskets anyway.

However, this experience with the seller was polar compared to my last.

I ordered the products on Feb 20th, the seller messaged me on the 23rd and told me my products would be shipped out the following day. I waited patiently, unsure of what shipping method she used, until March 7th and which point in time I messaged the seller, and kept the tone very friendly, informing her that the order never arrived and inquiring about a tracking number. The seller never replied. I waited another week, still nothing, so I messaged her again. This time I was a bit less buddy/buddy and a smidgen more business. I told her I'd really appreciate some information on the package and whatever she could share with me would be great. Immediately following that message I received an auto-reply stating that she had closed her store due to health issues. She went on the explain that she closed her store on the 28th (after my order should have been shipped out) but was now (March 15th) she was again in the position to start dealing with her customers and messages and would be in touch with everyone, she also went on to say that due to the inconvenience and our (buyers) understanding, she would be issuing a partial refund for the delay.

I was okay with that, obviously, and couldn't have cared about the refund really. I figured that I'd hear from her within the next day or so and that this would all be sorted out. But, she never did message me, and continued to ignore me when I messaged again telling her that I was going to wait another 4 days and if nothing was resolved, I'd open a PayPal dispute (which I have since done). At this point I was getting frustrated. I noticed her feedback rating was on the rise and that items purchased on or after my date of purchase were being received--and feedback was being reported. Yet, on my end, nothing. No communication, no product, and she's not even replying via PP.

So, okay. I don't feel bad about filing a charge back, I really had no choice--it had been over 30 days since I placed my ordered. Had she communicated with me once she was able, I would have been fine waiting. I needed the items by the 30th for our trip, but whatever, I would have still accepted the order for myself if I wasn't able to use them for their original purpose.

My question is...what do I leave for feedback? Even if I get my $$$ back via PP, I am still asked by Etsy to leave comments on the transaction. This is where it gets sticky.

I'm a big believer in feedback. I think it's a way to help someone build their business and also a way to let other buyers know who they are dealing with. I mean, if I read a book, I write a review.

So, my options are this...

1. Leave negative feedback. Mention she wasn't communicative and that the items never arrived and I had to go thru PP for my refund. This, is the honest-to-God truth.

2. Leave neutral feedback. Mention she wasn't communicative and the items never arrived but that she had things going on in her personal life that were the crux of the issue.

3. Leave nothing. Pretend it didn't happen. Remember she was nice seller before and hope that in the future she returns to her honest ways.

Now, I'm pissed simply because she's dealt with other customers who bought things after me and is basically choosing to ignore me...so yes, option #1 feels pretty justified. But, in the same breath, I don't want to be b**** and hurt her business, my order was for 5 products meaning I'd be leave 5 separate negatives which would effect her rating.

What do you all think?

(sorry for being so wordy...)

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

I don't think you need to leave five negative comments for ONE transaction. Leave one comment, specify that it was for 5 products, state that you've been happy with her service in the past but was allowed to slip through the cracks during her recent health issues and never received the shipment. I would assume the lack of communication on her part is due to her being sick and having other things on her mind.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

I don't think you need to leave five negative comments for ONE transaction. Leave one comment, specify that it was for 5 products, state that you've been happy with her service in the past but was allowed to slip through the cracks during her recent health issues and never received the shipment. I would assume the lack of communication on her part is due to her being sick and having other things on her mind.

I'm totally on board with that, but what kills me is that my order was placed before she was sick and should have been shipped out well before she needed to take a break.

I guess you're right tho...I could be gracious about the whole thing (which is how I look at your suggestion) and fair to a degree.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

Be the bigger person. While I understand your frustration over the apparent unfairness of their orders going out and yours not, you don't know the full details of their deals so you really can't apply it to your situation.

 

[Haven]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

I would leave honest feedback, which in this case equals negative feedback. I would post only one piece of feedback, explain it was for five items, and write a concise summary of what occurred.

I think it's really important to share this sort of feedback on etsy because a) it will help make her a better shop owner if she takes it to hear, and b) it will help inform potential customers of how she handles her business.

ETA: I think it's important to remember that she *earned* the feedback you are going to leave for her. If you leave honest negative feedback for a seller, it's not as if YOU are the one responsible for any loss of potential business she incurs because of the feedback. SHE is responsible, as she is the one on whose behavior you're reporting.

I may take a harder line on this than some, but as a teacher feedback is my daily life. I don't give students their grades, they earn them. And at the end of the semester, students don't give me good or bad evaluations, I earn them. The only way any of us ever become better (business people, students, teachers, human beings, etc.) is if we pay attention to the feedback we earn and learn from it.

Edited for grammar. Twice.

 

[TravelingGal]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

I would leave honest feedback, which in this case equals negative feedback. I would post only one piece of feedback, explain it was for five items, and write a concise summary of what occurred.

I think it's really important to share this sort of feedback on etsy because a) it will help make her a better shop owner if she takes it to hear, and b) it will help inform potential customers of how she handles her business.

Ditto. You can still be kind, but honest.

 

[iota15]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

Leave honest feedback once. She can respond if she wants but other's should know your true-to-life experience with this seller. I wouldn't sugar coat it. She said it was sent BEFORE she was sick. If she wanted to provide an explanation, she had plenty of opportunities to already. She hasn't taken them.

 

[suchende]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

I know she hasn't been responsive, but could you message her one more time, tell her you feel you need to leave negative feedback, and give her a chance to make it right in some way? There's no reason why she should be surprised by your actions, but if I were you, I would feel better giving her advance warning.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

I know she hasn't been responsive, but could you message her one more time, tell her you feel you need to leave negative feedback, and give her a chance to make it right in some way? There's no reason why she should be surprised by your actions, but if I were you, I would feel better giving her advance warning.

Thats the thing, I'm almost burnt out "communicating" with a wall. I would love to be like "hey, if PP decides in my favor and I'm still expected to leave FB, it's going to say XYZ." But at the time I'm like I've tried (a lot) to make her see that this was a real issue and she doesn't feel the need to respond, so why should I take more time to convince her it's her businesses best interest to take an active role in making it right?

I have two stores on Etsy, and I take my things very seriously and I will always work to make my customers as happy as possible. It's a small hobby centric business, but a business nonetheless. If someone has a problem, which has happened once, I will bend over backwards to reach an agreeable outcome. I operate with a first-in-line/first-in-time policy, meaning I deal with one transaction at a time, while I can juggle of course, I don't consider a transaction closed until I have received feedback. I understand not everyone handles things the same way, but I could never imagine ignoring someone who messaged me 3 times with a concern...I just couldn't do that.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

I would leave honest feedback, which in this case equals negative feedback. I would post only one piece of feedback, explain it was for five items, and write a concise summary of what occurred.

I think it's really important to share this sort of feedback on etsy because a) it will help make her a better shop owner if she takes it to hear, and b) it will help inform potential customers of how she handles her business.

ETA: I think it's important to remember that she *earned* the feedback you are going to leave for her. If you leave honest negative feedback for a seller, it's not as if YOU are the one responsible for any loss of potential business she incurs because of the feedback. SHE is responsible, as she is the one on whose behavior you're reporting.

I may take a harder line on this than some, but as a teacher feedback is my daily life. I don't give students their grades, they earn them. And at the end of the semester, students don't give me good or bad evaluations, I earn them. The only way any of us ever become better (business people, students, teachers, human beings, etc.) is if we pay attention to the feedback we earn and learn from it.

Edited for grammar. Twice.

You're right, of course, she did "earn" this feedback. She made the decision, probably weeks ago, to not mail out my items and then ignore me...so yeah, that's pretty negative on the buyers end. I don't want to be unkind, and I don't think I need to be unkind to get my point across either, she created this mess and it's ultimately a reflection on her. I just don't like to be the heavy.

When you purchase multiple items from a seller, each item is broken up into it's own "purchase"...whereas, I could click the negative button for one, verbally explain my experience ... and then ignore the other 4 purchases, or simply click "negative" for them as well. Part of that is because I hate to see "5 items awaiting feedback"...which is all on me, I know.

 

[suchende]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

No, I don't think you have to message her again, but if you're struggling with going ahead and leaving a negative comment (which I do think you need to do; as an etsy purchaser, I rely on that) you might feel better about it knowing her gave her explicit warning.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

Leave honest feedback once. She can respond if she wants but other's should know your true-to-life experience with this seller. I wouldn't sugar coat it. She said it was sent BEFORE she was sick. If she wanted to provide an explanation, she had plenty of opportunities to already. She hasn't taken them.

That's the catch right there. If this had all happened after she got sick, it would a nonissue. I'm not a cold hearted b**** and I'm not all "me me me" either, life happens, and I know that and I have huge compassion and respect for independents who are trying to live a life that makes them happy. People get sick, life goes on. I would have patiently waited her response and shipping, not a problem. But, that's not the case at all...

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

No, I don't think you have to message her again, but if you're struggling with going ahead and leaving a negative comment (which I do think you need to do; as an etsy purchaser, I rely on that) you might feel better about it knowing her gave her explicit warning.

I think you're right. Once PP has decided on March 30th--which is her "times up"--I may message her again and let her know that I'm going ahead with leaving feedback and that I'm sorry things worked out as they did.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

I would leave honest feedback, which in this case equals negative feedback. I would post only one piece of feedback, explain it was for five items, and write a concise summary of what occurred.

I think it's really important to share this sort of feedback on etsy because a) it will help make her a better shop owner if she takes it to hear, and b) it will help inform potential customers of how she handles her business.

Ditto. You can still be kind, but honest.

I think that's the line right there. Be kind, but honest. No one can argue with the truth, right?

 

[kama_s]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

Leave honest feedback once. She can respond if she wants but other's should know your true-to-life experience with this seller. I wouldn't sugar coat it. She said it was sent BEFORE she was sick. If she wanted to provide an explanation, she had plenty of opportunities to already. She hasn't taken them.

Yup, this exactly. Italia, I know from previous posts that you're a really kind soul, but I would have to agree with your first reaction. Leave only one feedback for all the items, but tell it just the way it was.

I'm sure you gave her a stellar rating for your first order, so it's only fair you write the entire truth this time around. Sucky position to be in, and I hope you find alternatives in time.

 

[rhbgirl24]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

See... me, I'd leave 5 negative feedbacks. Maybe thats being bitchy, but if it was great service, I'd leave 5 positive feedbacks, not just one. Etsy does give you the chance to kiss and make up, so maybe if you want, and your money is refunded change some of them to neutral. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

I would leave honest feedback, which in this case equals negative feedback. I would post only one piece of feedback, explain it was for five items, and write a concise summary of what occurred.

I think it's really important to share this sort of feedback on etsy because a) it will help make her a better shop owner if she takes it to hear, and b) it will help inform potential customers of how she handles her business.

ETA: I think it's important to remember that she *earned* the feedback you are going to leave for her. If you leave honest negative feedback for a seller, it's not as if YOU are the one responsible for any loss of potential business she incurs because of the feedback. SHE is responsible, as she is the one on whose behavior you're reporting. I may take a harder line on this than some, but as a teacher feedback is my daily life. I don't give students their grades, they earn them.

And at the end of the semester, students don't give me good or bad evaluations, I earn them. The only way any of us ever become better (business people, students, teachers, human beings, etc.) is if we pay attention to the feedback we earn and learn from it.

Edited for grammar. Twice.

I totally agree with this post.

 

[Andelain]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

Leave honest feedback once. She can respond if she wants but other's should know your true-to-life experience with this seller. I wouldn't sugar coat it. She said it was sent BEFORE she was sick. If she wanted to provide an explanation, she had plenty of opportunities to already. She hasn't taken them.

This right here say it perfectly. It alsoi gives you the option to leave four more negs if she responds nastliy to this one well-earned neg.

 

[iota15]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

By not leaving negative and honest feedback, you're allowing OTHER people to potentially suffer the same fate as you. I know you're not a heartless b*, but seriously, when I'm shopping online, I'm RELYING on previous customer's honest view of a particular vendor.

 

[Laila619]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

By not leaving negative and honest feedback, you're allowing OTHER people to potentially suffer the same fate as you. I know you're not a heartless b*, but seriously, when I'm shopping online, I'm RELYING on previous customer's honest view of a particular vendor.

Yep. And it's really irritating that she's now ignoring you. That would make me extremely upset.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

See... me, I'd leave 5 negative feedbacks. Maybe thats being bitchy, but if it was great service, I'd leave 5 positive feedbacks, not just one. Etsy does give you the chance to kiss and make up, so maybe if you want, and your money is refunded change some of them to neutral. Just my 2 cents.

She's not refunding my money directly, I am going through the claim process with PP...she's not exactly fighting that, either...she's just not saying anything or responding to them either. It's really annoying.

And I, like you, would also be the sort to leave positive feedback individually for each product. I did before when I placed an order with her for 6 (?) things. But I think one really strong negative would be heavy enough to do the job, although in my weaker moments I have toyed with the idea .

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

Leave honest feedback once. She can respond if she wants but other's should know your true-to-life experience with this seller. I wouldn't sugar coat it. She said it was sent BEFORE she was sick. If she wanted to provide an explanation, she had plenty of opportunities to already. She hasn't taken them.

Yup, this exactly. Italia, I know from previous posts that you're a really kind soul, but I would have to agree with your first reaction. Leave only one feedback for all the items, but tell it just the way it was.

I'm sure you gave her a stellar rating for your first order, so it's only fair you write the entire truth this time around. Sucky position to be in, and I hope you find alternatives in time.

First of all, thanks for the compliment. I do try to be nice.

I won't be able to find something else in time. Which sucks. My husband surprised me with the trip for my birthday and I really wanted it to be special, and while I'm sure it will be, the fact that there is an element of frustration is no fun.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

Leave honest feedback once. She can respond if she wants but other's should know your true-to-life experience with this seller. I wouldn't sugar coat it. She said it was sent BEFORE she was sick. If she wanted to provide an explanation, she had plenty of opportunities to already. She hasn't taken them.

This right here say it perfectly. It alsoi gives you the option to leave four more negs if she responds nastliy to this one well-earned neg.

It will be interesting to see how it goes...she doesn't have a single negative, a couple neutrals, but nothing so severe. Which, of course, guilts me because I do like her--or rather, did like her. She was super nice before. It sucks that things went like that and I hate being responsible for having to "come down" on someone.

 

[iota15]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

Maybe the other neutrals have had negative experiences as well, and felt the same way as you. They didn't want to be the first, but someone has to. Tell the truth and let her dispute the negative review.

 

[iugurl]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

BE HONEST! Regardless of her illness, this is a business. She since has gotten well, but still refuses to respond to you... That is poor, poor customer service. "be the bigger person" -- This isn't about being a good or bad person. It is about being an honest buyer. It is not as if you are just mad at the seller for NO reason, that would make you "bad." Telling the truth does not = bad. Are you helping future customers by lying? What if she gets sick again or simply decides to take a break?

I agree that perhaps you shouldn't leave 5 negative comments. Perhaps 1 negative and the other neutral, and in the 4 comments refer to the 1 negative comment. Or just leave 1 neg. and don't leave feedback for the other 4.

 

[Aoife]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

I'm honestly a little befuddled by the concern about being "nice."

Let me see if I have this straight:

This vendor agreed to provide products, for which you paid. She told you that they either had been sent out, or were being sent out. When you did not receive these products, she kept your money, didn't provide an explanation, and didn't send you the products. Now she is not responding to your emails. And she still has your money. And she is still in business.

And you are worried about being "nice"?

Seriously, you have a responsibility to provide accurate feedback, and if this vendor wants positive feedback on etsy, she should act in a professional and ethical manner.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

By not leaving negative and honest feedback, you're allowing OTHER people to potentially suffer the same fate as you. I know you're not a heartless b*, but seriously, when I'm shopping online, I'm RELYING on previous customer's honest view of a particular vendor.

Yep. And it's really irritating that she's now ignoring you. That would make me extremely upset.

That is, by far and away, what pisses me off the most. When I think about it, I could see red. Just f****** communicate with me here, lady. That's so not unreasonable considering the purchase was made over a month ago. Drop me a message, let me know what's going on, even if it was just say you didn't mail it out. I'm also probably just as upset over the fact that other people have received their products (some of which being the same things as what I ordered) and I have not. Are you kidding me? What a flipping joke. Either you're running a business or you're not. If you are, then you have to be professional.

See, even just talking it out makes me furious. It's enough to make me want to leave all five negatives and let the chips fall where they may. I'm really clear that she obviously didn't care about what happened on my end when she took my money and disappeared, so why would I care about what happens to her as a result? But, everyone is right...1 would do the same job as five.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

I'm honestly a little befuddled by the concern about being "nice."

Let me see if I have this straight:

This vendor agreed to provide products, for which you paid. She told you that they either had been sent out, or were being sent out. When you did not receive these products, she kept your money, didn't provide an explanation, and didn't send you the products. Now she is not responding to your emails. And she still has your money. And she is still in business.

And you are worried about being "nice"?

Seriously, you have a responsibility to provide accurate feedback, and if this vendor wants positive feedback on etsy, she should act in a professional and ethical manner.

You're right, of course. But it's just my nature to be a peacemaker. I am angry over this believe me, more so since I started this thread probably and do believe she deserves her lumps for how she's conducted herself, but still I'm just the type of person to worry a subject. I would love to be the type of person to click 5 negative and feel good about that because it was honest...and maybe if this was a random seller whom I'd never worked with before I'd have no problem, but she was just so nice before...

I guess, as a seller myself, I see both sides. There is how I do business, how I make living up to that commitment I made a priority even though it's just a hobby...and then there is knowing that my business survives on word of mouth. I know how important feedback is, and how even the slightest off color comment can hurt in the end. She's earned it...and I'm angry enough to do it...but my reasoning behind the hold up is real too.

But, with all that said, I am going to do it. I'm going to leave 1 negative and ignore the other purchases. Once my PP claim is decided and that is settled. I don't really have a choice. It's not fair to other buyers and this wasn't fair to me. Nice only gets you so far, I know this, and I did try to be nice to her because that's how I'd want to be treated...but I, as a seller, wouldn't treat someone this way...so I guess that has to work in turn as well.

 

[that_someone_special]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

See... me, I'd leave 5 negative feedbacks. Maybe thats being bitchy, but if it was great service, I'd leave 5 positive feedbacks, not just one. Etsy does give you the chance to kiss and make up, so maybe if you want, and your money is refunded change some of them to neutral. Just my 2 cents.

yeah, me too.

If you would've left her five positives, I'd leave five negatives... or at least 1 negative and 4 neutral to show that it was more than one item.

When I review feedback I rarely read anything other than the neutrals or negatives about a seller.

 

[HollyS]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

Feedback Number Two.

If you are reimbursed for $$$ spent, then you can afford to be . . . pleasant but honest.

After which, I would never order from her again.