This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway...

[Aoife]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

You know, I do get what you are saying about being a peacemaker, and trying to see both sides. I tend to do that myself. However, this situation, as you've described it, doesn't seem ambiguous at all. You have more than bent over backwards to give her a chance to make it right. And she didn't. And now she's taking other people's money, but still not making it right with you. I don't think you have a thing to feel guilty about if you leave negative feedback.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

I just wanted to update you all on the happenings...

Paypal found in my favor, which wasn't really a surprise. And I did go forward and leave 1 negative feedback:
It kills me to leave negative feedback, but I'm going to be honest and say this was not a great transaction. I've purchased from the seller before and she was awesome, but unfortunately this past buying was anything but. I placed an order for 4 items prior to the seller going on medical leave and the seller replied that she was sending them out immediately. The items never arrived, seller never replied to my e-mail inquiring about my purchases. I ended up opening a dispute with PayPal for a refund.

So, thanks everyone for weighing in...I think honesty was the best policy.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

The idea of one neg and the rest neutral makes the most sense.

Things do come up in peoples' lives. Just to put a bit of grewsome experience...one gal I was working with disappeared in the middle of a transaction so I gave her neg. feedback. Later, someone messaged me and it turned out the seller had died! This happened a second time, but the husband, in midst of his grieving, still sent all his widows packages out. Another didn't contact me for a month and it turned out she was in the hospital.

I know you said that all this happened before the seller became sick, but sometimes it's good to grant a bit of slack. Warn future potential buyers, because that is the right thing to do, but unless you're super pissed off, leaving all negatives actually makes you out to be the bad/immature person (and YOU want to keep up a good image as being an Etsy seller). Just one neg and the rest neutral.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

I just wanted to update you all on the happenings...

Paypal found in my favor, which wasn't really a surprise. And I did go forward and leave 1 negative feedback:
It kills me to leave negative feedback, but I'm going to be honest and say this was not a great transaction. I've purchased from the seller before and she was awesome, but unfortunately this past buying was anything but. I placed an order for 4 items prior to the seller going on medical leave and the seller replied that she was sending them out immediately. The items never arrived, seller never replied to my e-mail inquiring about my purchases. I ended up opening a dispute with PayPal for a refund.

So, thanks everyone for weighing in...I think honesty was the best policy.

Glad all worked out and PP refunded!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Re: This is probably stupid...but looking for advice anyway.

The idea of one neg and the rest neutral makes the most sense.

Things do come up in peoples' lives. Just to put a bit of grewsome experience...one gal I was working with disappeared in the middle of a transaction so I gave her neg. feedback. Later, someone messaged me and it turned out the seller had died! This happened a second time, but the husband, in midst of his grieving, still sent all his widows packages out. Another didn't contact me for a month and it turned out she was in the hospital.

I know you said that all this happened before the seller became sick, but sometimes it's good to grant a bit of slack. Warn future potential buyers, because that is the right thing to do, but unless you're super pissed off, leaving all negatives actually makes you out to be the bad/immature person (and YOU want to keep up a good image as being an Etsy seller). Just one neg and the rest neutral.

Your points are all well made. I totally get that things happen, and I gave the seller over a month to work it out before I contacted PP and well before I left feedback. I would never, ever intentionally hurt someones business without trying to work things out first. That's just not my style.

I only left one feedback for just that reason. I am not out to pick a fight with her...and yes, I was pissed near the end when she was well enough to get back online and make an auto-reply message but not reach out to me seeing as how I was waiting on her. But, cooler heads prevailed and I kept it short, sweet and to the point. I got my message across and even made a point of mentioning the fact that BEFORE the seller had been great. Whether that will matter to other buyers or not, I felt it was important to make note of.

I'm pleased with my refund, although I really wish it had never come to that.