Tell you and your SO's story

[blackprophet]

Everyone always loves to hear peoples proposal stories, or couple's background.

So here is your chance to tell your story. Tell us a cool story about you and Your SO.

How did you meet?
What was your proposal like?
Whats that thing you guys did that you still laugh about years later.
Any other story that is characteristic of you and your SO's relationship.

I know some of the regulars know each other's stories. If that's the case, try to think of one you haven't shared.

 

[craighnt]

If I told you all my story, some of you would cry.

 

[LaraOnline]

That sounds enticing, Craig!

My story is kind of 'compellingly pathetic'.
Met through his brother, moment I clapped eyes on him I was quietly convinced that, inexplicably, he was going to marry me.
In my mind this was ridiculous. Him: scientist, crazy sport jock, very tall, rarely spoke. Me: five foot, arts student, full of opinions (hey I was young) and loved to have fun.
The stupidity of the very idea made me a potential stalker, in my view, so I therefore endeavoured never to bump into him in case I gave away my sickening crush.
I dreamed of him night and day for years, having palpitations if I thought I saw him from a distance.
Fast forward 10 years, I had moved to the other side of the country and was pretty much at a loose end.
He jokes he had to cross the country to catch up with me. He emailed my mother asking for my contact details as he was moving over here and i (a friend of his brother from hight school / uni) was the only person he knew that was living in this area. - we were engaged within a few months!

 

[missy]

If I told you all my story, some of you would cry.

Ooh, now you have to tell. At least if you mean we would cry happy tears. I'm all for that. I love a good love story!


Aww Lara, your love story was meant to be.


Since I have told our story a few times before I am not going to repeat and bore everyone with the details. But a different story about our beginning in the decade of the nineties...

My dh was not my type and he was my patient to boot and I never dated patients despite being asked quite often as I was young and not bad looking and pretty funny. I don't know why I finally accepted his invite for a first date (at first I didn't say yes but maybe) but for some reason I did. I was conflicted because he was so handsome and always made my heart flutter when he came to see me and he made me nervous in a way no one ever had.

Anyway it took a while for me to realize he was my soul mate and true love but while I may have been a slow learner regarding that he was the one for me (I almost passed out when he spoke about marriage and when he did propose I literally felt sick LOL) once I realized it I never looked back. Despite some very difficult times in the beginning (which would have caused me to break up with any other man but for some reason didn't with my dh )which is a story for another day perhaps...


Blackprophet, your turn please. Tell us your love story.

 

[blackprophet]

Facebook was by no means the first social network (as much as they would like you to believe that)

My FI and I met on a social network. I messaged her at random (that how I used to meet new people (see: women) in those days) and we started talking. We talked for months before actually meeting. Once we met I was interested, but she was not. I never told her how I felt, mainly because she was not interested in a relationship at all. I was the serious relationship type.

We ended up becoming friends. We became closer over the years mainly because we shared an email system at our jobs and would talk every day. I saw other people during that time but never could stamp out the small torch I was carrying for her.

Fast forward 6 years later, we are the closest of friends. I realized on a trip to Europe that I need to pursue or kill the flame, no point in just letting it hang around.

So I wrote her an email (yes I am a chicken) spelling out how I felt about her and giving her time to think about it and let me down gently.

She messages me one Monday and jokingly asks why don't we get married. We have a funny conversation joking about all the crazy things we would do to if we got married. I though there was no better time than to send her the email that night. Once she read it she messaged me right back to say she had been feeling the same way for the past almost 2 years.

That day is now our own personal holiday dubbed "Email Day"

 

[OreoRosies86]

A girl (me) met a guy. We fell in crazy mad love watching Shark Tank. We ate a lot of pizza and saw a LOT of movies. We bonded over our love of the beach... and then moved to the mountains. We saved for a ring. Then a cat showed up and needed a lot of care. The ring idea went out the window (but our love grew stronger). We bond over creating lives we didn't have growing up.

 

[FrekeChild]

We met on myspace. He had a girlfriend, but we had a lot of things in common (his mother had just passed away, mine had breast cancer) so we chatted a lot. One day I woke up to a message about how he broke up with his girlfriend. Nothing really changed initially. Then one night I invited him over when my BFF and I were watching Team America: World Police and had eaten too much sugar, and he thought I was several years younger than I had said. Kept talking all of the time, and it just progressed naturally, if very quickly, which was very surprising, since neither one of us wanted to be in a relationship.

He proposed December 19, 2008, two weeks after my mom passed away. He proposed in Las Vegas in front of the Bellagio Fountains, and we took pictures there just over a year later when we got married. And he started crying after the proposal because he was sad that he hadn't done it before my mom passed away.

We laugh about a lot. Like how when we were driving to Las Vegas for our first official date (8 hour drive) I talked almost non-stop.

I think because we have both been through so many losses and through serious situations (he has a heart condition and had open heart surgery when we had been dating for 3 months) we really do not fight. We fought once, when I was 7 months pregnant over our babymoon (we had some uninvited guests that I was really displeased about).

He thinks jewelry is worthless. I don't know why I married him.

 

[gregchang35]

My SO and I met at the only gay bar in town. It was a long weekend and I was celebrating my friend's birthday. It started around 2pm.... You can see where this is going.... He rocks up around 7/8.. The bar closes at 10... (Yes we live in a capital city but it has been described as big country town). By that time I was quite courageous and was dancing on the tables!!! Lol...

He was with his friends. One of them is a mutual acquaintance. After I get off the tables, mutual friend walks up to me to tell me that this guy likes me and wants to know if I like him. I tell my friend to ask HIM to come over to talk to me. By the time that happens, it's nearly closing time.

My friends party was moving to next location. I am torn and we swap numbers. I was slurring a lot and told him- I am probably going to forget so pls call me tomorow. He tells me- no. Tomorow when you see your phone you will see a new number and then you will call it. The party had left and so did I.

The next day, still rolling out from the party the night before, what HE said resonated with me and I called him. I went home to shower and change and made my way to catch up with him. He offered his place. We talked for a bit. I was so tired that I had to excuse myself and ask if I could rest. He kindly obliged. His friends rocked up for a visit and warned him about my checkered party boy persona- or STAY AWAY....

Anyway... The following we we met up again at a friends going away and he thought he read/got it all wrong. I wanted to see him again... A few days later, we met again after my brothers wedding dinner: another alcohol fueled event... But I restrained as I knew I was going to meet him... It was then we made the conscious decision to date.

They were the hardest 6 months of dating as we were doing the norming/storming/performing kinda thing....as I do have a checkered past of being the party boy...that was nearly 9yrs ago...

Blissfully, deliriously happy.... Oh- is that the alcohol talking???! Lol.

 

[packrat]

JD was in trouble all the time in a town not far from here, hanging out w/idiots. After being in jail he decided he needed to straighten up. He came here to a party one night and met my brother and our group of friends. JD was 19 and I was 18. He lived out in the party house w/our friends for a while and then he and my brother moved into a house in town. I hung out w/them all the time, either dating one of the guys or someone else. JD and I got along SO well. One night at a party about 7 years after we met, he asked me out. And then promptly "forgot" about it, saying he was drunk and didn't remember. My cousin told me he'd had a crush on me from the first time he met me, but was scared of me b/c he felt I was out of his league. That made me mad b/c we'd been super close for so many years by then, that he didn't trust me enough or think highly enough of me as a person and as a friend to talk to me about it so I went to his place and gave him the what for. We went out. Saw Patch Adams. He was weirded out by commitment so we quit dating and just hung out like we used to. After dating some complete dumb asses and taking myself out of the dating scene for several months, I got um...lonely for company, shall we say?? Soooo I stopped over at his house one day and asked what he thought about a friends w/benefits agreement. We'd already proven we could stay best friends after failing at the dating/sleeping together thing, so why not?

So we did. I figured it would be win-win. We dated other people, didn't have the stress of "will we or won't we" with those people, and agreed that if we wanted to further a relationship w/someone else, we would nix the benefits on the side. I'd say good bye to my date and go to JD's place. He'd drop off his date and I'd be waiting at his place. Our group would go out and we'd just go home together. Then after a while we weren't dating anyone else and we were together ALL the time. And one night he said we should talk about what was going on, did we agree that the whole friends w/benefits thing had effectively been replaced by a relationship some months before? Yes. Do we agree there are feelings here, more than just casually or just friends? Yes. Six months later we were engaged, then later that year we got married.

Friends w/benefits didn't last very long, about 6 months. We've been married 13 years next month. Together 15 years this New Years. Best friends for 21 years this year.

 

[LaraOnline]

Naw! I'm loving these stories!

 

[diamondringlover]

My story is not romantic in anyway at all.....matter of fact by today's standards it pretty darn pathetic

I met my husband 31 years ago, he was a blind date, he was my cousin's boss, so my cousin fixed us up. We hit it off very well, I met him on a Sunday, we went out on a date Wednesday and I moved in with him just under a month later. He wooed me with flowers and luncheons and we had so much fun. We had NOTHING on common and we still have NOTHING in common other than our 2 boys.
We got engaged that Christmas, his proposal...none, lol I opened the ring Christmas Eve, it was a very tiny band of poorly cut rubies and diamonds..cost a whopping $120 bucks, I loved it!! Any way I thanked him for the ring and then I finally ask him is this an official engagement ring or is this just a ring..he says..yea its a official ring, so I guess we are going to get married...so I badgered him at that point, I told him I would not accept it to be a official engagement ring till he at least ask me to marry him, he wouldn't do it! So I was pissed to say the least...so finally we went to bed and I told him 1 last time it is not official till he asks me (I know I should have accepted it and moved on, but I wanted this moment) so we are laying in bed in the dark and in a very small voice he ask me to marry him...of course I said yes and we moved on from there, we were married on May 12,1984.

I still tease him about that all these years later, we don't laugh about much of anything anymore..our having nothing in common has taken its toll on our relationship, at this point we are just room mates just waiting on our youngest son to graduate from high school next spring and then we are evaluating if we want to continue in our marriage or not...chances are we won't. No pitty needed its a joint decision.

I envy all you woman and men that have romantic partners and wonderful proposals, I hope everyone has wonderful happy marriages, I know other people that have been married longer than me and still actually like and still love their spouses, so I know marriage can be happy for other people.

 

[zoebartlett]

We met on a popular dating site. I contacted my husband first. We e-mailed each other a few times, exchanged numbers, and then met for coffee not long after. We've been together pretty much ever since, almost 11 years, minus a month long breakup where we took time apart to figure out what we really wanted.

We had been together under a year when we went to Ireland for a friend's wedding. It was our first real vacation together, aside from weekend trips. We traveled from Dublin to Galway and we learned that we are great travel buddies. We'd love to go back to Ireland, but there are a lot of other places we want to see, too.

We moved in together two years after we met and we got engaged three years after that. My husband proposed after a concert. After the show ended, we drove up to one of our favorite spots, a lighthouse that we like to visit. My husband proposed at midnight. We got married over a year later, at a restaurant in a nearby coastal resort town.

We had a great time at our wedding, but we laugh at how horrible our honeymoon was. We had gone to Quebec, which was where we went on our first weekend away together, for NYE. We love the area, but we were a bit stressed over trying to see as much as we could, and we bickered a lot. It wasn't relaxing. We had originally planned to go to Portugal but we changed our minds while planning. That's something I regret. The day we left Quebec to return home was the same day that Paul McCartney was giving a free concert nearby. I refused to go and my husband has never let me live that down.

 

[zoebartlett]

Diamondrnglover, I hope you and your husband figure things out and are happy with whatever decision you ultimately make.

 

[diamondringlover]

Diamondrnglover, I hope you and your husband figure things out and are happy with whatever decision you ultimately make.

Thanks Zoe.

 

[Calliecake]

Diamondrnglover

What ever you decide to do regarding your marriage, I sincerely hope you find the happiness you deserve.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I first "met" my DH sometime in the 90s using AOL people search, lol. I was barely a teenager and we chatted online using AIM for hours. That was it until I saw him for the first time when I got to high school. I didn't remember his name, only his face from the picture he sent me years ago. I was quite a slacker in school and always cut math class when I was a sophomore. I used to go to lunch with my older friends and he was in their group. We got to know each other and became slightly flirty friends.

One day towards the end of the school year we decided to hang out with just us. I rode my bike to his house and we spent the whole day together. By the end of the day neither of us wanted to say goodbye. He was supposed to go see a movie with a guy friend and I ended up going with. By the end of the movie he asked me to be his GF. I said yes We were 15 and 16.

We dated all through HS and college, we actually got engaged when I was 18 and he was 19. Even at that age I picked out the ring (although it was a maul ring that I later changed). He proposed one morning when I woke up. It was just a few days ago even that he explained to me he did that BC that was his favorite time with me, when we were together just waking up, it makes me tear up just thinking about it.

We waited until we had both finished our undergrad and I was in grad school to get married. I was 22 and he was 23, we married on our 7 year anniversary of when we became "official".

We have been through a lot together, mostly supporting each other with our crazy families. We pretty much grew up together and I wouldn't have it any other way. Our 7 year wedding anniversary is next June so it will be 14 years of dating and about 16 years of friendship.

 

[4ever]

I first met DH on an online game. We were both attracted to each other as we were slightly more interested in messing around and not taking the game too seriously than most players were. We got to talking, I was 16 and he was 24 and we lived on the opposite side of the world so we were just chatting and figured obviously nothing would come of it. We email and IMed for years, until at 18 we decided we needed to work out if there was something more here or not.
I saved up for a year and when I was 19 in my uni holidays I flew across the world to say hello.
Needless to say, although very nerve wracking ( I am not a natural risk taker!) we hit it off.
After three months I had to fly back home to continue my uni studies, it was heart breaking. We did the long distance thing, he visited for a couple of weeks 6 months later and 6 months after that quit his job and moved here perminatly. We got married when I was 23.

I think the reason our relationship works so well is because the whole initial basis for our relationship is communication and we are still very good at taking to each other today.

 

[cflutist]

Hubby (used to post here as Websailor) met me as a result of a coin toss to either go to a dance or come to a discussion group hosted by me at my house (through a local church singles group). He showed up an hour early because he misread the listing. I was playing a computer game so I asked that he wait in my office while I finished my game (I don't remember what game it was). He said that he was checking out my library and noticed that there were mostly technical books (software engineering and project management before I retired) and he didn't see a single romance novel. His background is Mechanical Engineering and Computers. I was attracted to him because of his intelligence, soft demeanor, and kind heart. I don't know why he was attracted to me though. The rest is history as we have been married 17 happy years.

 

[NOYFB]

Aww...such cute stories.

DH and I met while attending a trade school. We were in a lot of the same classes and became friends, despite being complete opposites - he was a punk rocker with blue hair and I was a rock and roll girl with big hair. LOL He had a GF back home and I had an on again/off again BF back home. He was 20 (2 months shy of 21) and I had just turned 28 when we decided to become "more than friends". We broke up with our respective SOs and started spending all of our time together, in and outside of school. While in school, we sat next to each other and wrote each other notes constantly during class. I still have all of those notes and love to look back at them and remember the crazy silly things we talked about. Even though he was so much younger than me, he was very mature and wise beyond his years. One day, during our note passing in class he wrote on the back of my hand, instead of on the paper, the word "mine". It was so cute and melted my heart. The first time he told me he loved me was with a Valentine's Day candy conversation heart that said "Love ya" that he passed me in class as well. We still buy candy conversation hearts every Valentine's Day and pick out the "Love ya" ones.

We moved in together after a few months and got engaged 3 years later on Valentine's Day. At our wedding, which was 4 days before Valentine's Day I custom made the place settings to look like conversation hearts.

We've been married almost 14 years and together for 18 and couldn't be happier!

 

[Trekkie]

I'm loving all the stories! Ours is a lot less romantic...

I picked him up online for sex

Most people know that we met online, but they assume it was on a dating site. What really happened was... I was in my home city visiting friends and family and bored out of my mind. I placed an ad on a somewhat dodgy site looking for a FWB to spice up my trip. He answered my ad even though he was an hour and a half away and suggested we made a weekend of it.

His spelling and punctuation (God, I'm such a nerd) won me over and I agreed. When I eventually received a photo of him I was surprised - not at all my usual type. Blond, blue eyed, tall and lean. I'm usually attracted to short, stocky and dark/Mediterranean/racially ambiguous looking guys. By this stage I was already starting to get a feel for his personality, so I went ahead with it.

Our first date lasted all weekend and it was awesome I left town the following day and let him know that I had arrived safely. He immediately called me and we chatted while I waited for my luggage.

We texted all day that day. And the next. And by the day after that we were like, "what IS this?" So we agreed to meet once more "to get this out of our systems". I wanted to fly back to the city we met but couldn't change my ticket, so I took a leap of faith and flew him out to Cape Town (where I lived at the time). I met him at the airport, where he arrived carrying a backpack with nothing but a change of clothes and a jumbo box of condoms!

We lived on opposite ends of the country. He's a nice, polite Afrikaans guy with a PhD in zoology working as an aquatic biologist. I'm a not-so-nice half coloured/half English girl who had dropped out of university multiple times and was working for an IT company. He's 10 years older than I am. He wasn't looking for anything serious. Neither was I - I had just ended an engagement. It just wasn't meant to be, yanno? We joked at the time that if we were to pursue a relationship we would end up financially ruined and on first name terms with the airport staff.

Well, after eight or nine months of one of us flying out every two weeks or sometimes meeting in other cities, two weddings, a trip to Australia, and him being unable to find a job in my city, we decided to take a leap of faith: I moved to his shitty little town in the middle of nowhere.

It was a hell of an adjustment- I was used to CAPE TOWN!!! Only the most amazing city in Africa. I was familiar with his town - my dad had lived here in the eighties and nineties. It's a small town... So everyone remembered me as the product of an illegal affair my white father had with my coloured mother at the height of Apartheid. (I even get stares and snide comments now, 20 years after democracy and after living in this town for five years )

We've been together for nearly six years and married for nearly four. We're expecting our first child in May and couldn't be happier. <3

 

[alpackie]

It's wonderful getting to know about PSers stories! Thanks for the lovely thread

Whenever people asked how the BF and I met, I used to lie about it since I assumed people would be judgmental. A few years back when online dating was still kind of new, I'd say we met "through a friend." Now that it is more socially acceptable I now simply say we "met online." Which is half true

I used to be a moderator of an online niche music website's chat room in high school. Between "DJing" (online radio) and moderating the chat there, I liked PC gaming. I had a self-inflicted no-online-dating policy, and by freshman year of college I'd had a couple of fall-outs with former gaming friends who ended up wanting to be more than friends, and I was in a socially isolated gaming slump.

One day, after finding out about a new free-to-play MMO game (think World of Warcraft... but free), I go to the chat room and ask if anyone was interested in playing with me. Some user agrees to play with me, and I immediately note that it's that guy who doesn't know the difference between "your" and "you're," and also doesn't capitalize his I's.

We ended up playing that MMO together for months, and finding out that we live within a 4 hr driving distance of one another. Throughout this whole time, we'd gotten to know each other under the pretense that we'd be "just friends." Soon, we confirmed with each other that we are who we say we are, and agreed to meet IRL (in costume, of course ) at a local anime convention--a 2 hr drive for each of us. One of my first memories of meeting him was when we were at Safeway buying food for the weekend together, he refused to look at me or make eye contact with me. I remember being super self-conscious of myself, thinking that he was disappointed about me.

At this point, I was still in denial about my feelings for him, and from the experience of those other two failed friendships, I was extremely worried about ruining this one. (Plus, how would I find another lvl 60 tank for our dungeon party? ) Our mutual friends would constantly tease us about it, and we'd both vehemently deny that we were interested in one another.

Fast-forward another couple of months, and we decide to go on a camping/mountain biking trip together. It was my first real experience mountain biking, and it was exhilarating! I had a 4 hr drive home to think about him, and when I got home, I called him on Skype immediately and told him how I felt. His first reaction was to ask if I was someone else messing with him

3 years of long-distance dating later, we move-in together and live together for 2 more years. For the last year we've been doing a long-distance thing again because of work, but he's been on the constant search for a job up here.

Saturday was our 6 year anniversary since officially dating, and the local jeweler should have the engagement ring ready by this Saturday He was my first boyfriend, and I was his first girlfriend

 

[LaraOnline]

diamondrnglover i feel that your brave and honest post requires a response...but I'm not sure I am up to the task!
I just wrote out a huge post and then quickly shut the window because I thought I heard my husband coming!

I want to say that surely most adults around here have felt the tedium or even the aggro from time to time in their marriage.
My husband is, for example, rude, abrupt, cranky a lot of the time, has a big chip on his shoulder because he feels the staff at work are deliberately niggly, refusing to be accountable for underperforming etc etc etc. Just last night I told him that 'managing you is my full time job'. I'm a wrangler!

LOL

One time my husband was so cranky and we were fighting- about what, tbh I don't remember - and I brushed past him angrily.
He, in his anger, pushed me very heavily into some furniture. This is a confession that can only happen online. I would never tell irl! I was bruised for days. And I'm sure my neighbours heard my full throttle high-pitched screaming that then took place for about half an hour afterwards, I avoided any eye contact with them for some days. He never said a word in response as I absolutely bawled him out.

He's a 'sleep off the mood' type of guy, he takes to the couch. My mother told me never to let the sun go down on a fight.

So you see how that works.

When I lost my last baby in utero (very traumatically), I was the very picture of strength as he went to pieces. Weeks later, as I (finally!) blubbered about having to go back to hospital to check complications, he told me I 'didn't care about the baby' and I 'just cared about myself'. I got him back by upgrading my upgrade hah! without telling him.

I could tell 'our' story so romantically, or I could make out he is is just crap. Honestly, flip a coin lol. He could slay me I'm sure.

Aaanyway I just really wanted to connect with you, in a way that's not just 'sunny side up'. My hubby and I love each other. (He just told me! He doesn't know I'm writing this!) We have kids together, we have a business together, we have a story together. And - most of the time - we have each other. He'd be the absolute last stock I'd trade, put it that way. So I hope you find a sense of peace about the choices you make next year, as well. And also, about the choices you have made, thus far. Hugs!

 

[OreoRosies86]

LaraOnline, your story made me feel so sad for you. Please take care of yourself... There is no excuse for abuse, emotional or physical

 

[LaraOnline]

LaraOnline, your story made me feel so sad for you. Please take care of yourself... There is no excuse for abuse, emotional or physical

Thanks for your concern elliot... oops I have to check my temperature - am I an abused person?
don't think so.... think I'm a person.... I am really happy. sorry if you read me as sad - I think I'm normal. LOL

Depending on internet concensus should I take that post down??

 

[OreoRosies86]

LaraOnline, your story made me feel so sad for you. Please take care of yourself... There is no excuse for abuse, emotional or physical

Thanks for your concern elliot... oops I have to check my temperature - am I an abused person?
don't think so.... think I'm a person.... I am really happy. sorry if you read me as sad - I think I'm normal. LOL

Depending on internet concensus should I take that post down??

I'm sorry Lara. I wasn't trying to make you feel defensive. I think you're one of the nicest posters here. I went back and read some of your threads and it seems like you often put on a brave face when your husband loses his temper. We're all adults here though, and if you're happy, then you're right, it's none of my business. I was only responding to offer support, which I see was misplaced.

 

[LaraOnline]

Hey I appreciate that elliott.
I feel I've been caught out flashing my undies in public lol!
But that's one reason why I like posting here from time to time. I *like* flashing my undies, it seems!

Actually I am really interested in the internet's ability to 'connect' us across cultures and social barriers.
That's why I spill my beans so much.
But when I am super happy, embedded in family life, praps I don't post so much.
(also, PS gives me diamond fever!!)
Really the post above was primarily to reach out to diamondrnglover.

I honestly didn't want to throw my husband under any digital bus, in doing so.
But if we are to evolve as a species, honesty about the human condition is an interesting aspect of that journey, isn't it.
I don't think my man's a basher. He's lovely actually, and I am very proud of him.

 

[junebug17]

.

 

[MMtwo]

We met online. He lived tolerably close and we met and hung out. No skyrockets or anything, but it was nice. As time went on, we would often hang out and enjoyed each other's company. It was a very laid back type understanding and I didn't look for it to progress. I am 9 years older than him - in my late 40's and divorced. He was never married, new to the area. I decided I was going to stop actively dating and take time off of a serious search and just then he popped up. We would hang out and watch movies, go to dinner, etc. Months passed, no "L" words, no grand drama, but solid companionship and friendship started to grow.

I enjoyed long conversations and our sets of quirks matched up and provided amusement. We're both nerds. He impressed me with his character and stability. Funny how those words aren't the sexy ones people look for...stability and character! I thought about it a lot. What did I want? It was a slow, slow beginning. Instead of jumping in feet first, we wandered through the shallow part and went deeper and deeper at a snail's pace.

We reached that place at 8 months where we had a conversation on continuing or stopping. I wanted him to have the chance to meet a younger woman and have children if he cared to be a father (and I would have supported that decision). He thought about that and ultimately decided he would make a good step-father too. As time went on, we realized we were a great match in humor, life goals, height, singing ability, dedication, tenacity, and the willingness to make a relationship work by caring for it and each other. He cherishes me in the way he treats me and cares for me and I have been the happiest I have ever been with him. the relationship is almost effortless. I like me with him, he likes him with me

Our relationship is non-traditional in a sense. We chose each other for compatibility, not directly for fireworks (although the fire works work just fine). There are not the usual giddy gut wrenching addicted feelings of "love", but one of deep trust and satisfaction and of a team mentality that I think will endure.

 

[katharath]

Lara, I think if we are all being honest, we all have moments with our spouses that aren't happy ones - particularly across long marriages. That doesn't mean that we are married to "bad" people. I thought your post was well intentioned, I think I see what you were trying to get across.

So here's my story. It's kind of a Harry Met Sally type thing where we started out as friends and the timing wasn't right for a few years...kind of a long story and this is actually the short version, lol...

Met my DH when I was 14 and he was 17. We were in high school together, in Alaska. He was my first boyfriend's best friend. My first boyfriend introduced us! Future DH and I quickly became best friends to the point that I liked him much more than my boyfriend, lol. He and I had an extremely similar sense of humor and we loved to just talk about EVERYTHING. We would talk on the phone late every night...yes, my "at the time" boyfriend knew about our friendship, but nothing inappropriate happened so he didn't care that we were so close. I dated that first boyfriend for almost a year; I was very young and stupid . I knew fairly early on that I had much more real feelings for my future DH.

I was 15 when the boyfriend and I broke up; within a month I was dating DH. He was 18 by then though and moving forward with his adult life. We were only together for a couple of months before he moved; he was going into the Marines and left for boot camp in California.

We tried to stay together but even at 15 I knew it was impossible. He wanted to live a young man's life, and I was only a sophomore in high school. So we broke up but pledged to stay friends, and we did. We hardly saw each other over the next few years, but we stayed in contact. We ended up both dating other people, then getting back together when I was a junior still in high school. Broke up again as I needed the space to grow up and have fun and date; he was ready to be more serious then, I wasn't, still too young. Throughout it all he remained a close friend that I always cared about.

Then after I was officially "grown up" and in college in New Orleans, we met up again. He was stationed in South Carolina then. We had both had serious relationships with other people but knew we still had feelings for each other. I had dated one really great guy in particular but ended it bc I kept thinking about DH - basically comparing him to every guy I was with. He called me while he was stationed in Japan on Christmas Eve, to tell me that he still had the same feelings for me. We decided it was time to meet up again and see just how strong those feelings were, so after he was back in the US, I flew from New Orleans to see him; he met up with me in Georgia for the weekend.

We hadn't seen each other in a couple of years, but when we did, everything came back. Stronger than ever. I felt that crazy in love feeling; I've never felt it for anyone else in my life. I just "knew", completely, and so did he. In the years we had known each other previous to this, my feelings had never been so strong, it was intense.

After just a couple of months being back together, he proposed over the phone by saying "I was thinking we should go ahead and get married now". We got married just under a year after getting back together for the last time. That was almost 15 years ago; we are nearing our 20 year anniversary of the day we met, this Thanksgiving. We were introduced 20 years ago on Thanksgiving day, and he has been my best friend almost all of the last 20 years. He isn't perfect, god knows I'm not, but I still love being with him and can't imagine being with anyone else. We have two boys now, ages 7 and 10.