Speaking of house guests...arrggghh

[CJ2008]

We have a houseguest for a couple of days and for various reasons I didn't expect we ended up leaving him alone in the house for quite a few hours. I just realized I left out in plain sight with huge labels - our most private paperwork (e.g., financial files).

I am so pissed at myself - my face turned red when I realized it.

This is a very good friend - but still - I am pissed. I never leave anything that I would not want anyone to see. Much less our financial files.

Arrggghhh

ETA I feel like I am going to obsess about this now even though it's kind of pointless since I will never know whether he saw anything.

 

[kenny]

That sucks.
It would drive me crazy.
ARGG!

I'd monitor the accounts for anything suspicious.
Perhaps report credit cards as lost to get new acct numbers.

 

[CJ2008]

No Kenny nothing like that at all. (Thank goodness) For me it's about him having possibly SEEN our information.

Arrggghh

 

[kenny]

No Kenny nothing like that at all. (Thank goodness) For me it's about him having possibly SEEN our information.

Arrggghh

So you completely trust the person to not abuse the info, but now he just may know all your personal financial info.
Yuck.
Harmless, but yuck.

 

[CJ2008]

Yes.

Tell me about it.

First time I ever make such a mistake.

Sucks.

 

[TooPatient]

Ick!

I know what you mean about people you trust completely with information but it is personal so you'd rather they not know the details...

Sorry this happened. I'm sure they didn't go looking at your files so hopefully it is just on "Ugh!!" moment that they never even knew about

 

[missy]

Hey CJ, sorry about this and maybe I am naive but perhaps your friend didn't go snooping around. I mean, I know I would not do that so I like to think others wouldn't either. It is a betrayal of trust to go through others private papers so maybe your friend deserves more credit. However I am sorry you have this doubt and very sorry if he did go through your private affairs. What's done is done though so try not getting too upset over it now. Live and learn and mistakes happen and don't beat yourself up about this any more than you already have.

 

[JewelFreak]

CJ, sorry that happened -- yeah, kind of embarrassing. But if he's a good friend, IF he saw it, he'll do his best to forget it, with affection for you.

I have accidentally seen financial info of 1. my cousin's family & 2. a very good friend. Helping clean my cousin's house, I picked up a pile of papers that had sat on the piano for a couple days -- right on top was all kinds of info. I left it where I found it & never mentioned it -- honestly, now I can't remember what it said. Another time, a neighbor & I were so close, we walked into each other's houses without knocking. One morning she wasn't home & I wanted to leave a note. Saw a pile of paper by the telephone, picked up the top (blank) one & turned it over to be sure it wasn't anything important -- well, ahem, it was her investment acct. statement. Again I put it back & never mentioned it. Put it out of my own mind too.

So don't worry. Maybe he didn't notice it. If he did, he doesn't care, I'm sure.

--- Laurie

 

[CJ2008]

TP - yeah...ICK.

Missy - guess I'm not too trusting of anybody...I just feel like it could be tempting, even if you're a really good person...so I always just make sure to remove all temptation. But you're probably right - he's a really good friend and maybe he does deserve more credit. Just in case I did remove the files though. haha

Laurie - I know I'd do the same if I accidentally saw someone's private information.

It's likely he didn't look...

Lesson learned - always assume people/houseguests may be left alone unexpectedly.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I would just try to forget it happened. You don't know if it was even seen. He may have seen it with a glance and then chosen not to even look at it. I'm sorry it happened to you and you feel so badly about it.

 

[Calliecake]

Hi CJ2008, My first thought was that the person probably wouldn't look. I know I would never snoop at someone else's home. After thinking about it for a few moments, I know several people who would look and not even feel badly about it. Honestly I would just try to forget about it because there isn't anything you can do about it now anyway. I'm sorry this happened. Don't beat yourself up over it. It could happen to any one of us.

I agree with Missy. If he did in fact snoop, it's a betrayal of trust

 

[azstonie]

Oh god, that sucks. See, there's your reward for hosting. Hopefully he did not notice or examine past seeing it was personal.

 

[pearlsngems]

The papers were not exposed-- they were in files, if I understand you. So a casual glance in their direction would not have shown him anything-- he would have to have opened the files to snoop.

If you were the guest in his home and came upon such files, would you open them to have a look? No. So why not assume the same about him? Give him credit for respecting your privacy, just as you would have respected his.

Since you can't know for sure, and you presumably want to continue the friendship, this is the best approach. JMO

 

[CJ2008]

See, there's your reward for hosting.

This cracked me up...exactly how I felt! Nothing good ever comes from having guests in your house.

But thanks everyone - I did eventually just let the thought go...

Like you said, he probably didn't look...

But really what I most learned, for me to be at peace with someone being in my space, I have to lock up/put away anything personal. Just for my own peace of mind.

 

[lliang_chi]

I feel like I only have to do that if my father is visiting. He has no sense of respecting privacy. I'm sure your guest had the decency to leave it alone.

 

[Monnyjay]

That's really annoying it happened. Personal papers are just that, for no one else to see. We always put ours away in the filing cabinet and lock it with the key

 

[Calliecake]

Oh god, that sucks. See, there's your reward for hosting. Hopefully he did not notice or examine past seeing it was personal.

Gee, and here I thought I was the only one that constantly needed to be reminded that "No good deed goes unpunished".

Sorry CJ, But Azstonie is right. Consider it your reward for being so kind honey. Happens to me all the time and my friends always tease me about it. Do you want to start a club? It sounds like Azstonie has also found herself in the same spot. Do you want to join the club too Kristie?

 

[azstonie]

LOL, I have had the worst luck with houseguests, OMG, including a flaming prime rib tossed off a second story barbque into the snow below (that was a $150 prime rib dammit!!!).

Yeah, until I turned 50 I killed myself and my poor husband over houseguests, the house was so clean it was basically sterile, spent hundreds on food and alcohol, took vacation time off of work to drive and tour guests around (when we lived in Alaska pretty much although we've had guests I've driven around Scottsdale because I knew they couldn't handle the traffic).

Once I turned 50 I decided that my home is no longer a hotel and bar/grill. For dear friends I can do 1 night but we go out to dinner and I have bakery items and mimosas and coffee in the morning, low impact for me.

I got the cajones to make some changes finally.

 

[azstonie]

LOL, I have had the worst luck with houseguests, OMG, including a flaming prime rib tossed off a second story barbque into the snow below (that was a $150 prime rib dammit!!!).

Yeah, until I turned 50 I killed myself and my poor husband over houseguests, the house was so clean it was basically sterile, spent hundreds on food and alcohol, took vacation time off of work to drive and tour guests around (when we lived in Alaska pretty much although we've had guests I've driven around Scottsdale because I knew they couldn't handle the traffic).

Once I turned 50 I decided that my home is no longer a hotel and bar/grill. For dear friends I can do 1 night but we go out to dinner and I have bakery items and mimosas and coffee in the morning, low impact for me.

I got the cajones to make some changes finally.

 

[CJ2008]

LOL, I have had the worst luck with houseguests, OMG, including a flaming prime rib tossed off a second story barbque into the snow below (that was a $150 prime rib dammit!!!).

Yeah, until I turned 50 I killed myself and my poor husband over houseguests, the house was so clean it was basically sterile, spent hundreds on food and alcohol, took vacation time off of work to drive and tour guests around (when we lived in Alaska pretty much although we've had guests I've driven around Scottsdale because I knew they couldn't handle the traffic).

Once I turned 50 I decided that my home is no longer a hotel and bar/grill. For dear friends I can do 1 night but we go out to dinner and I have bakery items and mimosas and coffee in the morning, low impact for me.

I got the cajones to make some changes finally.

Sounds like a fun evening, a prime rib being tossed out the window

Good for you that you are limiting overnight guests to 1 night - you are my hero. I would be able to do so much if I didn't have DH to contend with

Callie - I'm totally down with starting a club! haha