Should I just stick it out and stick around?

[rierie26]

So I currently live and work in the Bay Area. I used to live with my boyfriend here but he was transfered overseas last fall by his company, so now I live alone. I don''t have any family that lives close by to me (although a flight is only a couple of hours, so they''re not THAT far).

The issue is that I''m really unhappy living here. I have friends and aquaintances and keep myself busy (I''m also going to school part-time), so it''s not really loneliness although I''m very close to my family and do miss them (and my boyfriend obviously). Even when my boyfriend was here, we already knew that we didn''t want to settle down here or even stay here for a long time. We want to be able to live in a place that''s a bit quieter, not as crowded, is safer and cleaner, with a decent cost of living (unlike here) and where we could forseeably buy a house one day without having to shell out a ridiculous amount of money to do so and I''m also kinda paranoid about the big earthquake that''s supposed to hit soon.

The problem is that I have a really good job and while I like my job (most days), I don''t love my job enough for it to overcome the general feeling of "I don''t want to live here anymore" that I''m experiencing. I''ve been with the company for almost 3 years. It pays well, is with a well-know MNC, has relatively good benefits and has a good corporate culture.

The issue is that as much as I''d like to throw in the towel and move back home to Seattle, I don''t want to give up this job seeing as how the economy''s bad and it really is good money.

I''m really tempted to ask if I can just work remotely from home (meaning Seattle) seeing as I''m in a satellite office and my interaction with my boss/co-workers in the same division is through phone and email anyway.

Has anyone experience this before or am I just being a whiny baby who can''t tough things out? What would you do? If you would ask to work from home, how would you go about asking to do so?

Thanks! Sorry for the length of my post!

 

[dragonfly411]

Kitcha - I don''t think a job should tie you to a place if you are unhappy there. Happiness is something we should try to grant ourselves.... life is far too short not to. ((BIG HUGS))

 

[Octavia]

If you can work things out so you can live somewhere that makes you happier, why would it be babyish to stay there and be miserable? I don''t have any advice about asking to work from home, since I''ve never done it, but I don''t see what value you''re adding to your life by staying in the Bay Area if you don''t like it. If you try and it''s impossible, that''s one thing, but I think you should see if you can make it work before worrying about that!

 

[Imdanny]

You''re not a "baby" no matter how you feel or what decision you make. Having said that, I personally would think very, very hard about giving up a good paying job in this economy. The economy and jobs situation for the unemployed are really, really bad.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Kitcha,

Is there precedent in your company for working from home remotely? In my DH's company, there is. There are several people in his position who work remotely from home in other states. They occasionally visit the office. In my company, on the other hand, I doubt they would ever even consider such a request. They are very "old school".

If you decide to move and cannot work from home, I would suggest sending out resumes and flying back home for interviews. Otherwise, you will have a lapse in employment, which may not go over well when explained to future employers.

 

[elrohwen]

I don't see how you're whining at all - if you don't like living somewhere, nothing is forcing you to stay. I would suggest looking for a new job in Seattle and sticking it out at your old job until you get a new one. Nothing wrong with that. Since you're going to school part-time you'd probably have to work on transferring that, which might be a lot of effort - in that case you may want to stay until you finish and then get a new job.

There's really no reason to stay in a situation that makes you unhappy. Ask your boss about working remotely and if it's not an option just look for another job.

 

[katamari]

I don''t know how your industry works, but I think that for the best leverage it would be prudent to interview and obtain an offer from another position and use that to barter working remotely. You might also want to anticipate all their concerns and have strong answers for how you will address and avoid them.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I''d do the following
1. ask to work from home
if not able to
2. look for a different job but do NOT quit your job
3. once you have your ducks in a row, move to new job and new location

 

[swingirl]

Stick around for what? There doesn''t seem much potential for things to improve. You don''t like the area, you miss your family and your boyfriend moved away. The way I see it is you have 2 choices. Find a nicer place to live in the Bay Area and enjoy the opportunities available. (Sounds like you don''t live in a very safe neighborhood)

or

Start looking for a new job in Washington where you''ll have the quality of life you are seeking. Friends, family, comfort, familiarity and safety trump a good job in my opinion.

In this economy I am guessing employers are less flexible with remote employees only because it''s not necessary any more. There are enough people willing to work on-site and be happy doing so. Even when your boyfriend returns you still wouldn''t want to stay in California so why not establish yourself somewhere else now?

 

[rierie26]

Thanks for all the advice! I guess I just feel bad about complaining when at least I have a job which is a lot more than so many people can say right now.

I''ve worked from home before when I was too sick to come in to the office or had other reasons I needed to be home and there are other people who do telecommute, but they were legacy telecommuters from when we were a small company before we were acquired by a bigger company. A lot of people have also switched to telecommuting when they went away to school which is ideally what I would like to do, but I still have to apply for a transfer and there''s no guarantees that I''d get into the program in Wa.

How should I ask my boss about telecommuting? I don''t have any pressing reason to move except unhappiness (and maybe school if I get in).

 

[LilyKat]

Honestly? I wouldn''t leave a job in this economy without having another one lined up. That said, I think it''s a great idea to explore your options - ask your boss about the possibility of telecommuting, and start looking for jobs in your desired area. You may need to move to that area once the search gets more serious and you start needing to go for interviews - but I wouldn''t do it just yet.

If you have a good relationship with your boss, it should be straightforward to ask about telecommuting. Just explain it to him the way you have to us, honestly (with a few more compliments to the company and how much you have gained from working there, etc), make it clear that this is just a possibility that you considered, and ask if he thinks it might be workable.

 

[Arkteia]

I understand you so well! 8 years ago I moved from Massachusetts to Seattle and have been feeling miserable ever since. I know it is unfair to very nice people here; I have a good job, we even had an unexpected gift of fate - a child who we did not plan for and who we love. My husband is having a very good job here (our prime reason for the move); my older son is at the U; people are nice. It is just a mismatch of East and West coast cultures. I believe this is the same feeling you are experiencing having relocated from the Pacific Northwest to the Bay area.

The best advise I can give you is to fly back home every holiday, possibly some weekends, too, because the tickets from LA or San Francisco to Seattle are relatively cheap. Just to feel at home.

Seattle''s economy is relatively stable; hopefully, with time you''ll be able to find a good job.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

I would definitely ask you boss if you can telecommute!

if you have a performance review coming up that''s the best time, if not then just schedule a mtg and tell him/her that you think you''ll be more effective telecommuting (lay out the reasons of why it will be beneficial for the company, not why it will be beneficial for you

) If your company already has a culture of this, then it shouldn''t be a big deal!