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Seasonal diamond hunger - how do you cope?

HopeDream

Ideal_Rock
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Mar 14, 2009
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Hey gang,

I'm itching to buy some pretties I may or may not need. Anyone else diamond hungry? Let's chat!

How often do you get the itch to buy a new item for your collection?
Do you buy fun pieces or only save up for big splurges?
How do you decide how much is appropriate to spend?
Is your budget different for fun vs serious pieces?

It seems to me that every 6 months-1 year I get a really strong longing for some new sparkly or other, - especially every summer. Sometimes I give in, and sometimes I wait it out. In the past I've gone for cheap ebay baubles to scratch the itch, but this time around, DH has recommended that I should just try to save up for a major piece that I want. Not sure what I'll do. Though I don't own many pieces, sometimes I wonder if I'm turning into a shopaholic.

How do you deal with seasonal acquisitive moods?
 

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Apr 3, 2004
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33,852
HopeDream|1405108911|3711506 said:
Hey gang,

I'm itching to buy some pretties I may or may not need. Anyone else diamond hungry? Let's chat!

How often do you get the itch to buy a new item for your collection?
Do you buy fun pieces or only save up for big splurges?
How do you decide how much is appropriate to spend?
Is your budget different for fun vs serious pieces?

It seems to me that every 6 months-1 year I get a really strong longing for some new sparkly or other, - especially every summer. Sometimes I give in, and sometimes I wait it out. In the past I've gone for cheap ebay baubles to scratch the itch, but this time around, DH has recommended that I should just try to save up for a major piece that I want. Not sure what I'll do. Though I don't own many pieces, sometimes I wonder if I'm turning into a shopaholic.

How do you deal with seasonal acquisitive moods?
Your DH is correct! I have had said many times on watch forums... don't buy any "scratch the itch" watches b/c soon you'll end up with 5-6 pieces that you really don't wanted and still don't own your grail piece. IMO, just waste of $$$.
 

marcy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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I definitely get the urge several times a year and I have a jewelry box full of things I'll never wear again. I agree with DF I'd save the money for the pieces you'll love.
 

Indylady

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Apr 28, 2008
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Start designing or dreaming up a piece you really, really want. That's take some of the edge off, and give you a concrete piece to work towards.
 

HopeDream

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DF and Marcy - excellent advice!

follow up question:

How do you figure out what you really want?

What happens if you save up years and years for what you think you want, finally get it, and then realize it's not for you (Eg. Amethyst and lemony?).

Isn't finding your style usually a journey that involves trying many styles before finding the right one? (eg. DreamerD)
 

Sky56

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 27, 2010
Messages
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I suffer in silence, attempting to ignore the urge. I love collecting and wearing jewelry, but have to put on the brakes in order to do things such as save money, invest in my business, pay taxes, etc, things which are not nearly as fun and recreational.

Yes, I have in the past really wanted something, got it, and then was disappointed. This was especially true before I really understood how important cut is in any faceted gemstone.
 

TC1987

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Nov 19, 2011
Messages
1,833
I try to think things through before I buy anything. And I buy items that I like, not to be in current fashion, unless I really love the current fashion. Since I am not married, I buy my own diamonds and choose my own settings, and I occasionally decide I'm done with something and it's time to sell, so off it goes to a new owner.

I also indulged some of my flings by setting a sim stone in whatever fad setting du jour I wanted to have a fling with. I used to sew and tailor all of my own clothing, make slipcovers, curtains, etc. I think that experience plus working in engineering and tech just makes me approach jewelry as a project, and procuring it is handled via project management. There's a study, a cost to benefit analysis, a search for a lower cost equivalent, a final review to see if the design is really what I'm going to pursue. And the budget, always the budget. heehee

So, I have rarely bought anything that was a mistake. I bought one H&A diamond that I never set, but that was mainly because the setting I wanted to use was promptly discontinued, and my choices at that point were either spend big bucks for a custom copy of that setting, or put the money toward upgrading the diamond. So I upgraded to a larger size diamond.

I'm not tired of the halo settings that I bought in 2004. I'm not tired of the sim rings. I'm not tired of yellow gold, completely, but I just don't wear it as much now. I have a few gemstone rings that I bought "before the Internet" that I'm not wild about now, but that's about it.
 

Circe

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HopeDream said:
Hey gang,

I'm itching to buy some pretties I may or may not need. Anyone else diamond hungry? Let's chat!

How often do you get the itch to buy a new item for your collection?
Do you buy fun pieces or only save up for big splurges?
How do you decide how much is appropriate to spend?
Is your budget different for fun vs serious pieces?

It seems to me that every 6 months-1 year I get a really strong longing for some new sparkly or other, - especially every summer. Sometimes I give in, and sometimes I wait it out. In the past I've gone for cheap ebay baubles to scratch the itch, but this time around, DH has recommended that I should just try to save up for a major piece that I want. Not sure what I'll do. Though I don't own many pieces, sometimes I wonder if I'm turning into a shopaholic.

How do you deal with seasonal acquisitive moods?

How often do I itch for something new ... hm. I'd say it's every 3/4 months, but I've sort of been conditioned for that given how the special occasions are spaced in my family - anniversary in October, Hanukkah/Christmas/New Year in December, Valentine's Day/birthday in February, Mother's Day in May. (Summers are long, yo. Also, no wonder they're my least favorite time of year ... and all this time I thought it was just the heat!)

Fun pieces vs. big splurges ... big splurges usually turn into combo presents, where the budget for two or more big occasions will coalesce into a beautiful sparkly blob. My anniversary ring/upgrade was basically all the occasions for that year, + baby gift!

Picking the budget ... my husband and I picked an arbitrary number as our general default, which he as a non-jewelry person sees as being spectacularly extravagant (he's also not big on dude-ly luxuries, though I'm trying to convert him), and which I see as a fun challenge for my champagne tastes on my locally-brewed-fancy-craft-beer budget (I'm not saying it's inadequate ... For any other hobby, it'd be generous. Just ... bling, y'know?)

Is my budget different for serious vs fun pieces ... yes, but either because I consolidate funds via combining the budgets for different occasions, or I consolidate the funds from previous projects by selling older pieces and putting the proceeds towards the new occasion. Over the past year, I've consolidated a lot of pieces I hadn't been wear much into two I wear all the time (the French target ring & the Cartier emerald three-stone ... and now I'm working on a third). I suppose a sane person would have saved up the funds over the years and just bought outright, but I figure this way, sure, it took longer (and probably cost more in the long run), but I enjoyed the process and the divvied allocations *immensely* in the meantime ....
 

dk168

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I adore jewellery and it is my main vice. My love for jewellery has got me into deep waters financially, and I am not going to let that happen again. If I do not have any money to spare, then I shan't buy anything.

Recently I made a decision to curb my spendings on jewellery in order to save towards another major purchase instead. I can't afford both, therefore, the one that will get more use and enjoyment wins, and it is not jewellery.

I'll get my fixes on PS and PG by ogling at others' pieces, and can always play with the existing items in my jewellery box.

DK :))
 

LaraOnline

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Circe|1405145858|3711862 said:
Fun pieces vs. big splurges ... big splurges usually turn into combo presents, where the budget for two or more big occasions will coalesce into a beautiful sparkly blob. My anniversary ring/upgrade was basically all the occasions for that year, + baby gift!

Picking the budget ... my husband and I picked an arbitrary number as our general default, which he as a non-jewelry person sees as being spectacularly extravagant (he's also not big on dude-ly luxuries, though I'm trying to convert him), and which I see as a fun challenge for my champagne tastes on my locally-brewed-fancy-craft-beer budget (I'm not saying it's inadequate ... For any other hobby, it'd be generous. Just ... bling, y'know?).

I try and get my husband to think 'jewellery' in terms of my once-a-year husbandly present (my birthday and wedding anniversary all fall in early january, so...) but he INSISTS on buying the present, NOT planning ahead in any way - so will rush out to our local very provincial shops at 3pm Christmas Eve - and will NOT have any input from me. Result? a present that I cannot 'top up' in terms of accessing the price point and quality I really want, and also no pleasure in the procurement of, either :( He just loves to see himself as the provider and wants to surprise!!

As a result of this ongoing frustration, I am turning my attention to home decorating and trying to forget about jewellery for a while. :knockout:
 

Circe

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LaraOnline|1405149299|3711882 said:
Circe|1405145858|3711862 said:
Fun pieces vs. big splurges ... big splurges usually turn into combo presents, where the budget for two or more big occasions will coalesce into a beautiful sparkly blob. My anniversary ring/upgrade was basically all the occasions for that year, + baby gift!

Picking the budget ... my husband and I picked an arbitrary number as our general default, which he as a non-jewelry person sees as being spectacularly extravagant (he's also not big on dude-ly luxuries, though I'm trying to convert him), and which I see as a fun challenge for my champagne tastes on my locally-brewed-fancy-craft-beer budget (I'm not saying it's inadequate ... For any other hobby, it'd be generous. Just ... bling, y'know?).

I try and get my husband to think 'jewellery' in terms of my once-a-year husbandly present (my birthday and wedding anniversary all fall in early january, so...) but he INSISTS on buying the present, NOT planning ahead in any way - so will rush out to our local very provincial shops at 3pm Christmas Eve - and will NOT have any input from me. Result? a present that I cannot 'top up' in terms of accessing the price point and quality I really want, and also no pleasure in the procurement of, either :( He just loves to see himself as the provider and wants to surprise!!

As a result of this ongoing frustration, I am turning my attention to home decorating and trying to forget about jewellery for a while. :knockout:

FWIW, I think that's my husband's preference, too. But because he knew from waaaaaay before we ever dated that I had Strong Opinions about gifts in general (ever since a bad Secret Santa experience in the 4th grade, my attitude has been, if it's the thought that counts, THINK ABOUT IT), and that I knew jewelry expertly and loved jewelry passionately. And I, in turn, knew that he thought of selecting the perfect present as a kind of test of character: if you paid enough attention to your friend/family member/loved one over the course of the year, you would be capable of imputing their heart's desire (and if you didn't, you kind of sucked ... and god forbid you cheat by checking a wishlist, or even consider something as impersonal as a a gift card*).

After a couple of attempts gone awry on his part and on mine that resulted in hurt feelings all around, we compromised: gifts for me are chosen my way (i.e., it's a collaborative effort, but since I know the subject area, I take the lead), and gifts for him are chosen his way (i.e., I make mental notes of things he says throughout the year and cross my fingers that he hasn't gotten them all for himself by the time his birthday rolls around). I don't think either of us is completely thrilled with this system.

I wish he'd be more involved and suggest things, or have opinions, at least, but at the end of the day ... he literally cannot tell my rings apart. (Seriously. At all. He doesn't know which one I'm wearing on any given day. We discovered this during a disagreement about some home decor thing where I was pointing out that aesthetics matter more to me than they do to him, and he tried to claim that he was really very visual, and ... yeah.) And he wishes that I had the magical ability to manufacture theme restaurants as out of the ether (or, more realistically, that I was as pure-of-heart about the whole thing as he was, or enjoyed the same things he did so I would know them like I know bling). But, hey: we both knew what we were getting into, and I figure that even though neither of us is entirely happy this way ... both of us are partially happy, and that's a heckuva lot better than nothing. It took us like five years of fights about gifts to get there, but ... I kinda figure it was worth it. Lara, maybe your hubs can be converted?

*No, seriously, he disapproves of wedding registries.
 

Circe

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HopeDream|1405134939|3711794 said:
DF and Marcy - excellent advice!

follow up question:

How do you figure out what you really want?

What happens if you save up years and years for what you think you want, finally get it, and then realize it's not for you (Eg. Amethyst and lemony?).

Isn't finding your style usually a journey that involves trying many styles before finding the right one? (eg. DreamerD)

Oo, just realized I hadn't answered the follow-up questions! HopeDream, when you say "figure out what you really want," do you mean categorically, or specifically? Like, "a pair of studs," or "this one incredible piece by James Meyer"? Because I've found the former rarely works for me ... but the latter is great, because generally, when I fall in love at first sight, it doesn't go away. It makes it easier, somehow, to go on luck of the draw: that way, I never have to practice purpose-driven shopping, which I loath ... instead, I can just idly look at all the eye-candy, and when whatever it is - ring, bracelet, watch, tiara, whatever! - crosses my path, I adapt my style to fit it, instead of trying to find pieces to fill gaps in my style.

(I think I've talked about the hell of purpose-driven shopping before: you know, you need new black pants, so you go out on a quest determined to find some, but that's the season when all the designers have decided that plain black pants are declasse, so they all have bizarre slits, or ballooning legs, or fake tails that can double as purses. And after hitting three dept. stores and eight boutiques, your head hurts, you feel awful about yourself, and you wish you'd never heard of black, or pants, or even shopping. Your only consolation is that you found a cool pair of red pumps, but you feel guilty about buying them, because they're not what you were looking for. Of course, if you'd been looking for red pumps, you would have found the perfect white button-down, or the trench of your dreams, or whatever.)

If I hunt down the perfect (or what I thought was the perfect) whatever, only to find that it clashes horribly with my staples or just doesn't please my eye or whatever, I modify it or I sell it. No point keeping things that don't make you happy!

And, yes, I think finding your style is an ongoing journey. When I found PS, I would have said that I liked chunky organic modern stuff, and flow-y Art Nouveau. Now? All Deco, all the time. I think that evolution can be part of the fun ... :twisted:
 

LaraOnline

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Thank you for responding Circe! :)
It IS a rather first world problem, is it not?
I know for a fact that once there, at the store, he will spend at least an hour or more poring over all the things!
For a non-shopper like him, that is a Big Deal, and his gift is certainly From The Heart.
But he will only walk into the that one shop, one time, per year. :lol:
I have adopted a 'strategy' that consists of me getting to know the local jewellers!
Not ideal by a long way - as you can imagine - but a giant leap forward from the 9ct scenario I was staring down the barrel of some years ago!!

PS: Wanted to add - yes the evolution of taste is definitely part of the enjoyment... forming a 'collection' of sorts!!
 

junebug17

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Fun topic! I'd say I get the urge for something new about once a year - resetting my OEC really cut down on the itch for something new for a pretty long time, almost a year lol. I don't really save for jewelry, every once in a while my husband and I will talk and agree on a certain amount to deposit in the bling budget, and it's up to me as to what it goes towards. The big decision is whether to buy one big ticket item or several less expensive things. He always thinks the amount should be lower, and I think it should be higher lol! He just has a hard time wrapping his mind around how expensive jewelry is, and I understand that. It gives me pause too - that's why I agonize over purchases and try to be sure it's something I truly want, especially for the higher priced items.

As to what to purchase - yeah, that can be tough to decide! For a while I was convinced I wanted a diamond eternity band. And then I got on a yellow diamond kick, then a gemstone kick. Then I explored bracelets. I was all over the place! Circe's description of buying black pants sums up how I started feeling about jewelry shopping - I started getting stressed out so I took a break. I realized just because I had money burning a whole in my pocket didn't mean I had to spend it! I kept going back to a specific style of ring and finally decided it was something I truly wanted to own.

I just made a substantial purchase, so that's it for me for quite a while. Except maybe that bev k band I've been dreaming of, I have a little money left over…I need help…somebody help me…
 

Enerchi

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I'm always "diamond itchy" - like an "I fell in a patch of poison *DIAMOND* ivy" kind of itchy and nothing soothes the beast like a sparkly purchase!!

HOWEVER...

I've made a lot of mistakes that way and while that itch gets satisfied with instant gratification, I end up rarely wearing these 'mistakes' and feel bad about wasting money and being that much further financially from something I REALLY want. I am also too simple minded to figure out how to sell the things that I really shouldn't have bought so I could actually start to recoup some of my losses!!

What has helped me lately, was being on a bling moratorium because we were doing house things (bathroom repair/reno, trees had to be cut down, replacing tiles in the front foyer and powder room) so bling and travel were curtailed for 2014.

Having a goal helps - focus on what you really want, not what you can afford right now. That's what I'm going to try and stick with - good luck to you too, HopeDream!
 

alexah

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Hubs would rather not have me get anything at this point so saving up for a "big" purchase just isn't going to happen. We're hitting our 40s so he's thinking about saving for retirement, not spending on more sparklies.

Honestly, I'd buy something every month if I had the money. So I set a low budget and get fun things a few times a year when there's a sale and hide them until a special occasion rolls around (my husband is happy to have me pick the presents). Diamonds are OUT, price-wise, so I've been concentrating on gemstones.

This year I've picked up two lighter colored spinels that sparkle like mad and a lovely big bubblegum pink tourmaline (no brown). Each was on sale, under $140 and a good size (IMHO). I keep them in a little box next to my laptop so I can look at them and appreciate them. It's kept me from buying more since I now have the main colors that I was looking for... I don't plan on getting anything else this year. Not sure if I'm ever going to set them.

I used to get one big piece per year when I was working full-time; I didn't really have the time to shop for little pieces and I hate setting items so once a year was plenty for me.
:wavey:
 

cflutist

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How often do you get the itch to buy a new item for your collection? No set time. It depends on what I see out there.

Do you buy fun pieces or only save up for big splurges?
I do some of both. I have been pretty frugal most of my life but have invested well for my retirement (which I am now).
There are some "fun" pieces like the trio of pave bands (pink sapphire, diamonds, blue sapphire) that I bought last year, but for this year, two main splurges (not to mention bathroom remodeling, a cruise, and a new car). What I do somewhat regret not buying was a beautiful boulder opal pendant I saw in Alaska. Hubby said buy it, I said, but I already have another one (but not as pretty) that I rarely wear.

How do you decide how much is appropriate to spend? Each case is individually determined.

Is your budget different for fun vs serious pieces?
There is no budget (within reason). The Tiffany Fancy Yellow buying experience was interesting.
I already knew that I could buy a fancy yellow online for 1/3 - 1/2 the price that Tiffany & Co. was asking,
but I also thought it would be nice to own just one Tiffany ring. I pulled hubby aside hoping that he
would talk me out of it but he said "buy it". For once I listened to him.
 

distracts

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How often do you get the itch to buy a new item for your collection?
About every six months!

Do you buy fun pieces or only save up for big splurges?
I used to buy more smaller pieces and now I'm trying to save up for fewer bigger ones.

How do you decide how much is appropriate to spend?
Well, I'm paranoid about living within my means and saving for retirement and not being in debt. So I specifically save up for things and have to have the money sitting in the account ready to go before I buy something. So obviously for more expensive things it takes longer to save, and if I buy smaller things it takes longer still since I'm depleting some of my fun money reserves. Personally, before I combined finances with my husband, this was a lot easier for me to track, and we're still working out the "agh, all your money is all up in my money and all your spending is all up in my spending" kinks. So... that's fun. It's so bizarre how we can have all the same financial goals and ideals and yet the day-to-day way we deal with stuff is so different.

Is your budget different for fun vs serious pieces?
Well if I buy a smaller or "fun" piece it has to cut into the budget somewhere else. But if it's something I really want and will wear, or if it's a gem that will go in a bigger piece (I have several gem types I collect smaller gems of to put in a mixed-shape DBTY-style bracelet or necklace), it can be worth it to save longer for whatever bigger piece I am currently saving for.

How do you deal with seasonal acquisitive moods?
I know some people find looking at PS to exacerbate their desire to buy, but I find that if I can come and look at things and help people in RT or CS that it tides me over and makes it easier to save up. I also have a "jewelry bucket list" and right now I'm trying not to buy anything that isn't on the list. Little things can also help, like changing the chain on a necklace can make a big difference to the look sometime, and make it feel kind of like I have something new.

It ALSO helps that I have mostly very normal/cheap other interests, like hanging out with friends, chatting online with friends, reading (both the news and books), watching tv/movies, etc. The other interest of mine that is pricey is the hockey obsession - and that was caused by my husband's hockey obsession, and we prioritize that because it's something we do together. Most "experience" sort of spending like vacations etc are things that make me miserable and stressy, and my husband loves stuff like that, and this is one that doesn't make me into a ball of nervous misery so.

How do you figure out what you really want?
Look at and try on a lot of stuff! Create a list of things you want. Then see which posts on PS make you drool with envy THE MOST. That seems to be more or less what I do. While I have a list of things I want, it's a mix of general and specific, and I don't really seek them out intentionally so much as regularly browse and see if anything pops out.

What happens if you save up years and years for what you think you want, finally get it, and then realize it's not for you (Eg. Amethyst and lemony?).
I honestly can't imagine that happening to me.

Isn't finding your style usually a journey that involves trying many styles before finding the right one? (eg. DreamerD)
I guess I can tell from trying stuff on in stores what I generally do and don't like. I know general principles I like and from there can determine whether or not something will work for me. I like things that are wider in the middle (so whereas lots of people like settings that taper in toward the head, I like settings that get wider toward the head), I don't like delicate bands (PS blasphemy!), I don't really like stones over three carats (DOUBLE BLASPHEMY!) unless they're cabochons, I adore three-stones, I don't like things to be too tall but if they have to be tall I want the height to step up (like a cathedral shank or three-stone with the sidestones at an height between the center stone and shank), etc. I would rather discover my style through cheap costume rings and trying on in stores than discover it through multi-thousand-dollar purchases. BUT I am very in-my-head and spend a lot of time contemplating everything I do and say and think, so. I certainly do see people on here who seem to have no idea what they want and whose proposed solutions look to me like they'd just create the same problem all over again. Like, not calling anyone out specifically as I've seen this happen several times, people who say they have an X carat and it makes them uncomfortable because everyone else they know only has Y carat and they feel their ring stands out and it makes them self-conscious, and so instead they want Z thing that is also unlike what everyone else has and big and blingy and it's like... dude, that is not solving the problem. That's just getting another piece of bling that will create the exact same problem, because your problem is not the specific ring, but the insecurity caused by your ring standing out, which can either be fixed by removing the insecurity or removing the standing out. And I guarantee the average person has no idea that your five-stone or eternity that is big and blingy is way less expensive than your big blingy solitaire, so now they're all just gonna think you're spending money on jewelry all over the place, which is going to make you MORE insecure. Like. Just logic it for a minute. You gotta address the root of the problem, not just slap different gems on it and walk away.

I do think there are people who change their styles as they change. But I honestly don't think there's enough time to organically change in, like, a year. If you do it once, sure, I can believe anyone could make that mistake once. But if you're doing it every year, that just looks like you're going off half-cocked and regretting it all the time. And hey, as long as you're posting a million pics to SMTB, I won't judge! I don't know your situation, so while that would be a horrible financial idea FOR ME, maybe it's perfectly fine for you! It's very understandable to me that someone can change over a longer period of time though. Like, resetting once you have kids is understandable to me, or if you change a job, or just multiple years go by. I am the kind of person who likes a thing and sticks with it FOREVVVVVVERRRRR so I imagine it would take me a long time to change my taste in jewelry so significantly, but I know not everyone is like that. And, hey, I know some really flighty people, but I wouldn't advise them to make big and hard-to-take-back commitments on the things they're flighty about (*cough*I have this one friend who makes very impulsive relationship decisions let's not talk about how many times she's been married and she's only 26, she's a lovely person but should probably just cool it on the marriage front*cough*).
 

lambskin

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Seasonal? Nope mine is chronic! I suppress the urge by window shopping and accessing PS for my virtual fix. I save up until I can afford what I want. It seems that buying a Holy Grail piece after waiting cures the urge for a long time.
 

marcy

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25,489
Very good question, HopeDream. I obviously haven't figured that out too well myself. :lol: So I'll blather on here about my mistakes.

My first pieces of jewelry were bought on a whim, weren't that expensive and I quickly got bored with them. Then I tried to get one of "each" gemstone buying things from Jewelry Television :naughty: or something on sale at the mall. I was going for quantity not quality. Those soon became pieces of jewelry I didn't like and all of them were given to relatives or sold very cheaply at work. Then I got a little more picky and my jewelry started to cost me more money but again I was buying just for the trill of getting something new and if I still have any of it left they just set in my jewelry box because I don't like it enough to wear them. Right now I have easily 2 dozen RHR and about the same in earrings yet I swap between 3 pairs of earrings and about 6 RHR rings. Another problem I have is my taste has changed. I used to like smaller sized center stones; maybe only 1/2 carat. Now I want something more in a 1 to 1.5 carat range.

Do you think I've learned my lesson since then? No! Last spring I decided to upgrade my wedding rings and diamond and went about it backwards. I bought a Tiffany Etoile band first then tried to find an ering I liked with it - the rings I really liked don't set flush with the band. So I had a custom ering made from an online vendor and while I like it I wouldn't have picked that band if I saw it in person. Then I missed having an anniversary band so again I ordered a custom one online but found the 5 point diamonds make my diamond look smaller and the edge of the band is squared off not rounded. My old anniversary band is 3 pointers and has rounded edges which match my ering better but of course it doesn't have as nice of diamonds as my 5 pointers. If I could have touched and tried on either of those rings first I wouldn't have bought them. I want to point out that there is absolutely anything wrong with either ring, it's just not what I would have picked for my wedding rings. However when you go custom, you can't return them. Both bands work with my ering but they weren't what I envisioned for my new dream wedding rings. I guarantee I'll be finding a new ering at some point and sadly it won't go with both of my bands unless I have a channel set ering made that matches my band but right now I like my diamond as a solitaire.

In May I bought a very unique colored cushion cognac sapphire and had it mounted in a vintage rose gold diamond accent band. The ring is very different and pretty - but the band isn't comfortable and the sapphire doesn't look like the same champagne color I saw in the store. It was definitely an impulse buy. I am still in my 60 day return period and that would give me a nice chunk of change on my few other current projects. I need to decide if I'll wear it and enjoy it or just leave it in my jewelry box as something just cool to have.

So the moral to my very long story is - It is difficult to figure out what you truly want and like. Unless you can see, feel, touch and wear something I don't know that you can know for sure it is the piece of jewelry you really want. Even if you save for your "dream" piece you may not like it when you get it on your finger. 2 of my favorite rings were very unappealing in the case, I didn't even want to try them on but whenI put them on and went "wow" I like that. I see quite a few threads on PS where someone gets their dream ring and they are disappointed in it.

If you are buying your diamonds or gemstones online I feel very confident you can purchase exactly what you want based on the images and information they give you. Jewelry though is a different matter. I think you have to see and try on different styles to see what you like on your hand or ears. Then if you want it custom made you'll have a better chance of getting what you want.

My recommendation IMO is buy your gemstones or diamonds from somewhere that has a decent return period and on more expensive stones like a diamond make sure that you can upgrade it down the road. I would still buy jewelry online but something that is stock and not custom. I personally wouldn't order custom pieces online unless you are willing to pay that much money for something you may not like. From the posts I see here many online vendors will work with you to tweak and fix small things but if you flat don't like the piece of jewelry you still own it. If you want a custom piece I would have it done locally so you can keep going in to see if their work matches your vision.

DreamerD is so right about trying many styles before finding the right one.

Marcy
 

marcy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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I started my answer before we went to lunch and I see there are a lot of good responses to go read. I didn't answer all of your questions so I'll do that too:

How often do you get the itch to buy a new item for your collection? As soon as I finish buying something.

Do you buy fun pieces or only save up for big splurges? Both. I have several fun RHR that aren't the greatest quality but I wear them a lot.

How do you decide how much is appropriate to spend? I am a real sucker for sparkly things. I usually have a set price in mind but as DH says when I say it is going to cost more than I thought "doesn't it always?"

Is your budget different for fun vs serious pieces? Yes. I won't spend a lot on fun pieces

How do you deal with seasonal acquisitive moods? My B-Day is mid year so my seasonal acquisitions for new jewelry works well - I always want jewelry for Christmas or my B-Day.

Off to read the rest of your responses. :wavey:
Marcy
 

marcy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Great discussion and responses.

I wanted to add I've had to change how often I can buy things. I used to teach evening courses at the local community college and used money from that about 4 times a year to buy jewelry. DH got 4 turns as well and the other 4 turns went to savings or bills.

I haven't taught for over 2 years now and I sure miss that extra monthly spending money.

DH likes watches so we still kind of take turns buying things plus we moved to a new house about a year and a half ago so house projects cut in to our spending money. We are both trying to save more these days as well.

My recent buying spree was from a small inheritance and I wanted to buy myself something special with it.

Many of you reminded me I need to get busy on a jewelry liquidation sale. It will help defray the cost on a few other projects I have in mind.
 

marymm

Ideal_Rock
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Love this thread!

How often do you get the itch to buy a new item for your collection?
In the beginning of my collecting, I think it was every other month! - but back then I only bought loose colored stones. Then I started setting the loose stones. Then I fell for diamonds. Now, although I look and search all the time because I enjoy the process, I only get that buying itch a couple times a year.

Do you buy fun pieces or only save up for big splurges?
These days, because my CS collection and CS jewelry are just about complete for my purposes, my purchases are more in the category of big splurges. I've been focused for the last year or two on trying to nail down my holy grail diamond ring (I think I just did), and I still have a couple of setting projects to complete, but that's about it.

How do you decide how much is appropriate to spend?
I do my research and figure out the $$$ range for what I'm looking for.

Is your budget different for fun vs serious pieces?
I set my budget to fit what I'm buying but for me generally fun pieces are inexpensive and serious pieces are expensive.

How do you deal with seasonal acquisitive moods?
I really try to wait out any impulse-type buys. I'll bookmark stuff that strikes my fancy, and only follow-up on the item(s) that I keep going back to visit over the next days and weeks.

How do you figure out what you really want?
For me, it's been trial and error. I have to see it on my hand, in my lighting, and over a couple of days/weeks. And it took me much longer than it should have to realize that many stones and jewelry pieces are gorgeous in and of themselves but are not necessarily "me" - and my focus these days is ensuring that my jewelry reflects my sense of myself.

What happens if you save up years and years for what you think you want, finally get it, and then realize it's not for you (Eg. Amethyst and lemony?).
This has happened more than once! For me it is part of the joy and pleasure and frustration that is collecting stones and jewelry.

Isn't finding your style usually a journey that involves trying many styles before finding the right one? (eg. DreamerD)
My taste is a bit eclectic in that I favor both clean, modern designs and original Edwardian/Art Deco pieces. I went with clean and modern for my ER but over the past year I have come to realize that vintage Art Deco is actually what I want for that finger. No matter which flavor, I still want jewelry that is comfortable to wear, that is practical for my life, that makes me happy to look at it and to handle it and to wear it.
 

HopeDream

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Hello again, just got back from taking a few pretties to the consignment shop. Hope they sell!

For the past few months I’ve avoided PS in hopes that it would curb my diamond fever, but I was really just lonely without you. I live in an area teaming with hippies and hipsters that tend to scorn almost all jewelry unless it’s “local”, “ethical”, and “vintage”. Diamonds are basically a bad word. It’s good to be with people who understand the value of beautiful precious things.

IndyLady- Good idea, I love playing around with design ideas. I should start dreaming up a project

Sky56 – Yeah ignoring the urge to acquire is hard. I’ve been fighting it by sorting out my house and looking for things to get rid of. I’m sorry you’ve been disappointed by your past projects. Cut is so important. I should make a rule not to sacrifice quality for cost.

TC1987 – I’m definitely trying out a longer waiting period this time. I’m going to see how long I can hold out. I like the idea of trying things out with sims, but they don’t often make sim versions of the types of rings I’m interested in. Do you have any good sources for entertaining fashion jewellery?

Circe – It’s nice to have so many special occasions! In my family we only do Birthday+Christmas, and both DH and I have birthdays within a week of Christmas, so I get one good gift opportunity a year. Yeah I wish bling was a much cheaper hobby. (At least we don’t restore classic cars, fly airplanes, or keep stables of polo ponies!) I’m glad you’ve been able to consolidate your collection into a few really satisfying pieces.

“Figure out what you really want” is discovering pieces of jewellery that are both breathtakingly lovely, and fit all the social and physical requirements of one’s lifestyle so as to be worn regularly; jewellery pieces that are the perfect marriage of form and function suited to each individual and meeting their innermost desires.

I love the journey of discovering new pieces, I’m not very adaptive to jewellery, so 90% of what’s out there wouldn’t work for me. E.g. I LOVE the idea of a great big 2-3ct rock, but in practice it would be so big and clonky that I’d never wear it.
“Purpose driven shopping” – (Ha! You describe it so well! Yerg – No thank you!) I think that’s why I love browsing ebay and estate sales so many different things you never knew you’d love! I agree that keeping pace an evolving sense of style is at least half the fun.

dk168 – You make a good point about setting healthy financial limits. One of my problems is that I’ve been drinking the PS koolaid for so long I’ve lost all sense of sticker shock. The two fun things I’m thinking of are both less than $600 each, but I’m not sure if spending $1100 in jewelry this year is appropriate given I currently have a grad student income of 20k for the year. Is 5% excessive? DH and I are very prudent financially and have savings and emergency funds set aside, so I’m not scraping the bottom of the barrel. But ultimately is it wise to spend money on bling vs other possible options? I don’t know. I’m glad you’ve found a balance between bling spending and spending on other opportunities.

LaraOnline – I’m sorry that your husband keeps trying to surprise you with the wrong kinds of jewellery. It can really hurt to be saddled with a gift that’s not quite right. I think getting to know the local jeweller is a very wise approach. Maybe they can even bring in something just for you, and target your husband for the sale. My husband is almost the opposite: Early in our relationship he bought one or two small gifts that weren’t quite right and since then he hasn’t gotten me any jewellery despite 8 years of not so subtle hints. I’m on my own and he refuses to take an interest. (He does give me thoughtful practical gifts, just not jewelry). I hope your decorating is going well. I bet your house looks great!

Junebug17- It’s great that you have an annual budget agreement with your husband. It must make financing projects much easier. Over time, as you get to try all the different types of jewelry available do you find it easier to be content with your collection? I think the Bev k band would look great – you should get it!

Enerchi – Is there a local place that will consign pieces for you? You’re completely right. I need to focus on figuring out what I really want. (But what if all I want is fun stuff?)

Alexah - Your Spinels and Tourmaline sound lovely it’s good to keep them close at hand. DH and I have started retirement savings (in our early 30s), so hopefully we won’t face austerity measures in the future.

Cflutist - Being haunted by “the one that got away” is sad. I think getting what you really want is very satisfying. Regretting overspending is quite common, but I think it’s possible to regret underspending if you don’t end up with the experience that you want.

Distracts – I definitely feel you on the blended finances and not quite knowing where one stands. I think you’ve hit on a very important point about understanding who you are and what you like as an individual, despite the prevailing PS trends, and being aware of how a new piece of bling will make you feel on PS vs In real life. I think a few PSers end up with what is “normal” online only to find out they’re much further along on the fancier end of the spectrum than they expected in real life ( eg me with .77ct in a .30ct town – glad I didn’t hop on the 1.5 ct train!).

Lambskin – That’s an excellent plan! Stay strong my friend!

Marcy – Wow! Thank you for documenting your jewellery adventures . You should probably take the cognac sapphire back because you don’t really love it. You make a very good point about trying things on making a big difference. I think that’s where I have the most trouble. Sometimes I want to buy something I think I might like just, so I can have a better look at it. The curse of online shopping is that the prices and selection are so much better, but you can’t “try before you buy” and the returns are much harder or non-existent. Based on my previous custom adventures I think I agree with you that sourcing quality stones online and having a good relationship with a local bench is probably the best combination for custom work.

Marymm - Waiting out the impulse buys is a strategy I’m going try this time around (Depending on how much visiting I do...). I’ve been trying to “Try on” pieces with paper versions of them – with mixed results. Jewellery that is practical for daily wear is very important to me.

Everyone :
Hmm.... so much to think about! Keep the stories coming! Tell me more about your journey to build your collection.
 

LaraOnline

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HopeDream|1405237900|3712385 said:
For the past few months I’ve avoided PS in hopes that it would curb my diamond fever, but I was really just lonely without you. I live in an area teaming with hippies and hipsters that tend to scorn almost all jewelry unless it’s “local”, “ethical”, and “vintage”. Diamonds are basically a bad word. It’s good to be with people who understand the value of beautiful precious things.

Yes! Couldn't have said it better myself! You have summed up my feelings towards the PS community perfectly!

having said that, I do try and dip in-and-out a little, just to keep a lid on!! Dare not venture to SMTB!!
 

mochiko42

Ideal_Rock
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Sep 28, 2013
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2,663
I want to play! :)

How often do you get the itch to buy a new item for your collection?

Every few months. I was not a jewelry person at ALL and knew nothing about diamonds or gemstones until I started researching for my e-ring last year. I'm still very much a newbie, I only found PS last fall but ever since then, I've become very interested in precision cut CS and vintage cut diamonds (which I never really knew about before). I blame PS for my addiction. :naughty: :naughty:

Do you buy fun pieces or only save up for big splurges?

I buy smaller CS pieces (e.g. I just bought a couple of rings with spinel/garnet/chrysoberyl etc for about $400 each. These are the "smaller pieces" for me.) for fun although I am trying to curb my impulse purchases since these little pieces can add up to quite a lot.

I am also allocating a larger budget for what I hope will be an heirloom piece (OEC diamond).

How do you decide how much is appropriate to spend?

My DH and I keep our discretionary spending allowance separate. We are fortunate to be relatively young (early 30s), DINKS, and all debts paid off (no student loans, no cc debt, and almost done with the mortgage). My DH is not a big shopper so most of his leftover income gets banked. DH has a steady income that can cover all our daily needs. For me, I currently work freelance/on contract, so anything I make is a "bonus" for us. I allocate a certain amount of my earnings to contribute towards our regular expenses (mortgage, utilities, eating out, kitty supplies, vacation fund, parental support/money for buying stuff for parents/relatives, contribution to savings portfolio, etc.) then anything left ever is free for me to spend. :naughty: :naughty:

In terms on what to spend on a particular piece, I research on PS and related vendors. For example, I obsessively look at the diamond inventory on GOG, LAD, Jewels by Grace, VC, etc. to see the latest products and prices. Or for CS I regularly check out a list of vendors for spinels, sapphires, etc. It's not that different from playing with stock purchases and looking at the market rates. :)
One of my goals is to put together an Excel spreadsheet for my OEC purchase so I can do some additional comparisons cross-vendors with pivot tables.
In general though I am pretty relaxed about purchases. As long as I like the piece and am willing to pay that price, that's all that matters to me. It took me a long time and experience to stop angsting over whether I got a good deal or not, or if the price was marginally cheaper somewhere else -- especially AFTER buying something and passing the return window, there's no point in worrying about the should-haves or could-haves.

My main principle for buying jewelry is this: don't spend more than I'm willing to lose. I've invested in start-up companies and stock market before, and use the same principle there. When investing in start-ups, I go in knowing that there is a risk that I may never see a dollar of my investment back, let alone any ROI. Same for jewelry, I don't treat it as an investment - if I can resell them later when I no longer need/want them, then great, but I don't expect any ROI from diamond jewelry. I treat it the same as I would buying a new TV or a pair of shoes; never spending more than I'm willing to lose. :)



Is your budget different for fun vs serious pieces?

Yes. I try to keep CS purchases at $1500 or under for gems+setting. For diamonds, I set the budget on a case by case basic depending on what I want to get and how much I have to spend at the time of purchase. :)
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
How often do you get the itch to buy a new item for your collection?
Every day that ends in Y. :Up_to_something:

Do you buy fun pieces or only save up for big splurges?
I think a combination of both. I have a lot of colored stones, but most of them are relatively inexpensive.

How do you decide how much is appropriate to spend?
How much it'll take to get what I want. I have larger, more important pieces that I'm willing to spend more on, especially on sentimental stuff, but it really just depends on my whims.

Is your budget different for fun vs serious pieces?
Not really. Most colored stone projects I try to keep it around $1k, but some are way more than that, and some are way less than that.
 

CRYSTAL24K

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Mar 25, 2014
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1,514
How often do you get the itch to buy a new item for your collection?
I always want new pretties, but have only recently become serious about having a "collection" that will work for me for now and that I will still love when I am 103.

Do you buy fun pieces or only save up for big splurges?
I buy fun pieces every couple of years- I love gold by itself, so without the cost of diamonds and labor, my fun pieces are not too expensive.

How do you decide how much is appropriate to spend?
For my fun pieces I use my "allowance"- I am a stay at home mom so I tend to spend my extra $$ on the little ones (shopping for clothes depresses me- bleh), I don't need much and don't go many places where I need to dress up.
For serious pieces I bring DH into the conversation so that we can decide together.

Is your budget different for fun vs serious pieces?
As we are saving for college for 2 little ones and made the decision for me to be a stay at home mom, there are not a lot of $$'s left over for fun. DH is actually more generous with the budget than I am. However, I balance the books for our household. Our 10 year is coming up and I have decided to treat myself, DH gave me an amount and I actually reduced it. I feel guilty still for spending so much on myself, but DH likes to spoil me a bit and I have to admit that I enjoy being spoiled too. We will use part of his bonus for my upgrade.
 

lambskin

Ideal_Rock
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Aug 22, 2012
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2,838
I am amazed at how expensive costume jewelry has become. OK, I know I am a tight wad and and don't spend a lot on splurges BUT I really can't see spending $250 FOR A 'FAB' necklace that is made out of plastic and cheap metal. Rows of these baubles adorn those high end retailers and small boutiques. Sure they look pretty but the fake plastic coral, turquoise, rhinestones, gold colored metal etc at hundreds of dollars just seems a huge waste of money. I just can not justify splurging on these fakes and will wait to get the real McCoy but on a smaller scale.
 
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