sad puppy

[gingerBcookie]

sigh...my puppy has a major case of the blues... I just brought him home today and he just lies around and mopes poor thing. I think he misses his brothers and sisters. i tried to start crate training him, but he hates it so much that now when i go to pick him up, he runs and cries. i feel soooooo bad...now I"M traumatized! I feel like such a bad mommy.

I don''t know what to do.

this is my first puppy and i feel so out of my element. if this was a baby...no biggie. but i have no idea how to deal with a puppy!

 

[sunkist]

Awww, poor guy! I'm sorry it's a difficult start for the two of you , Ginger! But I'd say in a day or two he'll warm up to you and his new surroundings. Just make him comfortable. No loud noices, not a lot of people coming over, a soft place to sleep, and place to stay warm and fed are important. He's sooo cute! Will he let you cuddle him?

 

[koko]

It''s wonderful that you''re crate training. This makes for a more secure, obedient & happier dog in the long run. The crate should be divided into a smaller area for a puppy though. Does he have a soft bed, a toy, and maybe a loud, ticking clock near by so he''s not feeling too lonely? I think he''ll cry for a few nights and then do fine.....he''s adorable!

 

[gingerBcookie]

he cries when i pick him up, but settles down quickly when he sees that i''m not headed for the crate. it''s just so hard for me to see him scared of me! he''s been just luying on my lap calmly...but i think he''s moping

poor thing! i feel soooooooooo bad! now i''m considering getting another puppy so he won''t be so lonely. is this crazy?

 

[Kaleigh]

Aww, poor you hang in there. Puppies are often like that the first day or two. When I brought Callie home she was timid and she also had to put up with Casper my older Bichon. Keep him in a quiet place with a clock that ticks, they that makes them feel like they hear their mom''s heart beat. Not sure if that works or not?? The crate should be an inviting enviornment with a soft towel and some fun chew toys. He will bounce back, give him some time. Good luck, I think he is just precious. How many weeks old is he??

 

[pricescope]

Not a fan of crates.

Ginger, is it late to ask a breeder for something smelly from mom''s house like a cloth from around pup''s habitat?
If it''s impossible to get, give him something furry like teddy bear to sleep with.

Who am i kidding - i would just take him to bed.

 

[movie zombie]

Date: 3/22/2006 10:07:26 PM
Author: Pricescope
i would just take him to bed.

ditto!

movie zombie

 

[decodelighted]

Ginger,

Hang in there!! You are NOT a bad puppy mommy!! Almost all puppies and kittens go through some kind of adjustment period! I remember it most strongly when I got two kittens (my first pets as an adult). They cried all night the first night and hid from me for weeks! When I spoke to the rescue place that had their "mommy" & "aunt" .. they''d cried all night too! Hoping the little kittens would come back! Oh it just broke my heart to hear that. Just keep telling yourself that puppies can''t stay with their mommies & siblings --- they all need individual good homes and enough attention in the long run!

With Tallulah, my tiny dog, she was so small I was afraid I''d break her. I called all my friends saying I''d made a terrible mistake! But after a couple days together we both became more comfortable & started bonding more completely. Then I felt so sheepish calling everybody up and saying "Ya''ll were totally right! We''re totally in love now."

Tell yourself "Normal, Normal, Normal!!" and "This''ll pass!!" I think our hearts get a little bigger feeling so deeply for these sweet little fur babies! It''s sad when you''re going through it - but you WILL get stronger. And it WILL pass!!!

Deco

 

[glaucomflecken]

Aww, ginger you are not a bad puppy mom! Molly went through the same thing when she first came home with my DH. She was confused and scared but slowly she adapted. He kept the crate near him while he would watch TV or work and if she were in there she could see him. He also kept it by his bed at night so she could see him as well and he could attend to her if needed. To encourage her to go in the crate he would put a toy or a treat in there to show her it was safe. He also put some blankets and a T shirt that he either slept in or worked out in, with his scent, in the crate so she would get used to his smell and also feel more comforted when she was in the crate.

now she is 6 months old and LOVES her crate! She loves us and its the best feeling in the world. hang in there! he will adjust in no time.

 

[Diachi]

Poor little one and poor you! I know it is horrible when puppies don''t "get" that you are their "new mom" right away!

In my experience, it is often best *not* to train dogs/puppies the first 24-48 hours they are in a new situation. Instead, give them time to adjust and bond with you by spending as much time with them as possible (sitting, playing, cuddling, eating) and in a safe place such as a crate, Xpen, etc. when you can''t be with them.

(I bring in puppies and new dogs on a regular basis (show dogs for other people) and I don''t *do* anything with them for the first two days or so. When I am not with them, they are in a 2x4 Xpen with a door-off crate, a puppy potty pad, and a shallow, no-tip water bowl. They learn on their own that that crate is a safe place to sleep so that when I do need to shut the door (and the dog) into the crate, it is not a big deal.)

Also, don''t make a big deal out of putting the puppy in the crate or picking it up to do so. If possibly, combine putting the puppy "away" with something positive like a treat or immediately aftr playing, etc. The bigger deal you make of it, the more they will read your emotion and think it is a big deal.

Good luck with the new puppy and enjoy that sweet breath!

 

[Blenheim]

Ginger, you''re not a bad puppy mommy!

I don''t have experience with puppies yet (we''ve always adopted adult dogs from shelters and families who can''t keep them), but there was a relatively recent thread talking about crate-training. It seemed like everyone who went through it said that it was terrible emotionally at first, because the puppy kept crying, but that it got a lot better after a while. Hang in there.

Out of curiosity, Pricescope, why don''t you like crates?

 

[LizzieC]

Hi Ginger... just want to echo what everyone is saying... you''re doing just fine! It''s been a long while since I''ve been around really baby puppies, but from what I remember the way he is acting is totally normal. Everyone has given you great advice... I think it''s best to lay off the crate training for a couple of days if you can... give him time to adjust to the new surroundings. There''s plenty o'' time for that later.

The ticking clock is a good idea too... or...I have a sound machine that has a heartbeat mode (for babies I guess?)... I''d be happy to loan it to you if you''re interested!

Good luck mommy!

 

[monarch64]

Ginger, again, you are not, not, NOT, a bad puppy mommy! This is just the "adjustment" period, and it will get much better, I promise! The suggestions of a ticking clock are good ideas--I would''ve suggested that as well. Before you know it, that puppy of yours will be king of your house, seriously--he just needs to get acclimated to his surroundings and familiarize himself with all the new smells.

We never could crate train our dog...I think we got him when he was 6 weeks old, which I think is too young but his mother was refusing to nurse at that point. We tried for about a week to get him to sleep in his comfy little crate but he would cry and cry, so we brought the crate into our bedroom, kept the door open, and he slept in it right next to us. Our experience was that it was like having a newborn baby for a couple of months--all the midnight, and 4 a.m. potty walks, all the crying, etc. We still think he was never "weaned" because every doggie bed we buy for him, before he goes to sleep he spends about an hour kneading, licking, and sucking on it, and he''s 2+ years old now!

You''ll get through this just fine, and so will the puppy. He''ll figure out soon enough that he''s in a good place and will get used to his surroundings. Good luck, and don''t feel bad that he doesn''t warm up to you right away!

 

[Mara]

aww ginger...you should go back and read chellebelle's post on her sophie dog...she was a screamer howler with her crate and portia was the same way...she hated to be apart from us and she was absolutely horrible with her screaming and crying, it was sooo taxing and trying on us, but we stuck with it. at first we did the x-pen but then she got a crate and come hell or high water she learned to like it..well now she sleeps with us but not until she was entirely house trained and other trained did we allow that. i was pretty strict with her but i wanted a GOOD DOG...i have seen way too many loose families with their dogs and those are the dogs that jump on people and don't listen and i wanted a dog that everyone would love to have around them and no one would have a problem with us bringing our dog around. i didn't just wanna indulge her because it was easier on us.

anyway, it's TOUGH TIMES to get a puppy, seriously flat out i do not miss those days. when portia was a puppy i would sit there and stare at her and wish she was just a month or two older..just a bit more out of that puppy stage. she was fun of course but it was so stressful. not everyone is cut out for a puppy, but STICK WITH IT and be patient and it will all work out. she will only be a puppy for so long and then those days are gone, so try to enjoy them...

and even though she runs from you, give it time. she has to learn to trust you and know that you represent good and positive things. when you take her to the crate, give her a treat, a small one, a pet, a hug, use a positive tone, tell her she's a good girl. you can even use the treat to lure her into the crate so that she will go in there on her own rather than you having to place her in there. though if that does not work, put her in it and give her the treat. portia was very treat oriented, she does almost anything for a treat!

also, if you can...i highly recommend getting a private trainer in as soon as possible. we did it a week after we got P and i really needed it. part of it was just FOR ME...to make me feel better about what i was trying to do and how i was not succeeding OR succeeding, and the gal who we got (i did alot of research online to find a very recommended and experienced local person) was so great, we only had her for an hour and it was $150 but i came away with so much from it, and amazingly enough, i sat there and watched her teach portia to sit and leave a treat within 5 minutes, and the dog was only 8 weeks old!! that really showed me that training COULD be done and i could do it too.

having a puppy teaches you alot of things, patience was the biggest thing i learned..and it was a hard lesson to learn and i am by no means some perfect patient person, but i have learned alot having a puppy and now a dog...so just hang in there and keep doing what you feel is best, just remember that she is out of her element, frightened, she probably wants to explore and just do her thing....be strong with your training and try not to 'give in' because IMO that teaches them that 'oh if i scream or cry long enough, mom will come down and take me upstairs'...

hang in there! be strong!! in a week things will be different and then a week and a week again...take it a day at a time!

ETA: HAA Ginger I just realized I wrote the whole post calling him a SHE...I always think small dogs are girls because of Portia..sorry!!

 

[msdarlinjoy]

Oh GingerB ...

I hope things go better for you ... I remember the first night I brought home our first beagle. She was the runt ... cutie-pa-tuti! I couldn''t stand the crying and whinning ... I felt like a horrible dogmom too!

I woke up with black circles and bags under my eyes the next am. I called the breader and she didn''t have anything that she could give me with her mom''s scent on it and recommended that I go buy one of those "Big Ben" wind up clocks and wrap it up in a T-shirt that one of us had been sweating in the day before and give her a teddybear. Guess what? It worked ... I was so thankful ... I was so tired and felt so guilty ... it''s a good thing it worked ''cause If it didn''t ... she would have ended up in the bed with me!

Sending good thoughts your way. And you can post more pic''s of your lil'' cutester anytime!

Good luck!

 

[littlelysser]

Ginger - you got some really good advice on here. Don't feel bad about the crying. Really and truly. And I do agree with the advice not to try to train the little guy at all for the first 24-48 hours. He's had a pretty traumatic couple of days...Just let him do his thing...

And I have to say that I am a HUGE fan of crate training. Both of our dogs are crate trained and it is a great thing.

The only thing I'd recommend is that for the first couple days, don't actually put your new baby in the crate. Put yummy treats in there, put a soft blanket in there, put some toys in there...and see if he'll explore on his own...Make sure it is as nice of a place to be as possible and not a punishment. One of our dogs absolutely loves his crate and will go in there to rest when he's had enough of us. Our other dog doesn't love it, but she knows she gets a treat every times she goes in...so that softens the blow some...

And I agree that you've got to enjoy the puppy time. Puppy belly and puppy breath are fleeting. And finally, don't worry if you've got a *slightly* difficult puppy. Our Ibizan Hound, Izzie, was the WORST puppy you could possibly imagine. A real a$$hole, really...but he has turned into the most wonderful dog.

 

[pricescope]

Date: 3/22/2006 10:50:49 PM
Author: Blenheim


Out of curiosity, Pricescope, why don''t you like crates?

Because dogs are not canaries.


When we adopted Sharik it was third or forth home for him, he has no manners and severe separation anxiety. Which he expressed by pooping around the house if we stepped out for an hour without him.

It took time to talk him out of it, i played on his fear of ostracism i punish him with. I told him that i am not talking to him anymore and don''t want to see him for a day.
He never did it again, most dogs are easier to talk to than people.

 

[widget]

Hi, Ginger!

I''ve been reading a LOT lately about getting a puppy, and Deco is right. Everything you''re going through is normal. You just have to remember this and keep reminding yourself that "this too shall pass". Everyone''s advice here has been just great.

I really like Mara''s suggestion of having a consultation with a dog trainer/behaviorist just to reassure yourself that you''re on the right track.

I don''t think getting a second puppy is a good idea. Just EXPECT that the next days/weeks will be challenging, and a bit sleep deprived...soon both you and your treasure will be just fine, and completely in love.

HANG IN THERE!!!
widget

 

[portoar]

Here is a great way to teach a dog not to be afraid of the crate: feed your puppy all his meals in there. Our dog Griffin is wild to go into his crate and any time I say "kennel in" he just gets up and goes into it. At meal time he cant get in it fast enough. He''s a rambuncious golden retriever who will pester anyone who comes to the door. Everytime the doorbell range I''d call out "kennel in" and he''d go into his crate so he wouldn''t bother the visitor. It got to the point where the doorbell would ring and he''d head right to his crate without me giving the command.

 

[gingerBcookie]

well we made it theought he night peacefully and uneventfully. i gave up on the crate for now. we used one of those big clear plastic storage containers witht he lid off and put a soft toel on one side and newspaper on the other. we figured it was less scary since it wasn't enclosed and it was clear/see-trhough so he could see he wasn't alone. we put him next to our bed and left a little light shining through the bathroom door. he was quiet throughout the night and there was a puddle of piddle on the far corner newspaper. small success!! i think he is too scared to go into our living room, which is very airy and spacious, so we decided to keep him in the office which is smaller and prob less intimidating.

i took him out for breakfast, let him roam a bit, took a nap with him on the floor, lunch, then now i put him back in the container and put it next to me. he doesn't seem to go potty very often at all! and he naps alll the time. is this normal? he doesn't seem to play. i've never seen this with a puppy before. he just lies there and naps all day. is this ok?

thanks for all the advice. the ticking clock thig is a good idea. lizziec i would very much like to borrow your heart machine thingie! maybe i could get it from you when we meet up next fri? the dog trainer is a good idea too. he doesn't respond to treats or praise or petting at all

i don't know how to reward him. it's actually hard to get him to eat. we ha to tempt him with chicken before he would eat last night. it worries me because i know they're prone to hypoglycemia.

sigh. i'm afraid it'll get worse. right now i can be home with him all day, but come monday, i have to go to class from 8-5. hopefully he'll be less timid and happeir by then.

seriously, you guys are my thread of hope. there are so many good pet owners here with awesome advice. i think i'd be even more desprate an lost without ya'll!

 

[fire&ice]

Dogs, especially puppies, are creatures of habit. Be consistent with everything. The pup is naturally upset because he is away from his littermates and life as he knew it. Also, how old is the pup? Unfortunately, he may be in a "fear period" - which is not a time to introduce anything new to the pup.

Dogs are den animials. Crates are a natural extension of that. I''m wondering if you are using the crate as exclusive instead of inclusive - i.e. put the pup in the crate in the room you are in - don''t make it seem like he is banished to his crate on his own.

Raising a pup isn''t the easiest assignment. It takes lots of patience because you will have to deal with so many ups and downs. The best thing to do in the first days of their arrival is to have all things good come from you. Also, rather then you gettting the pup - have the pup come to you - again with all good things happening. I.E - look at the pup, call it''s name or "pup" in a high happy voice while going backwards - the pup should naturally follow you. It''s a bonding exercise. Also, massage the pup - again all good things happen when you are with the pup.

Good luck - and most of all have some fun - and enjoy the puppy breath!

 

[Mara]

don''t worry ginger, you are doing fine, portia slept tons when she was a puppy, and when she was awake she was just having an accident or biting my fingers, so it''s better when they are asleep.

the trainer also told me to limit accidents and let the dog slowly get used to the house is to quarantine them in a small area rather than giving them the run of the house. aka portia would come wherever we were but our house is 3 levels so she felt it might be kind of stressful for such a small dog to have the run of the house right away. however, i was kind of bad about that...i would just take her into the room i was in and she would just hang out there. i''d close the door if i had to.

the xpen worked great for us with getting her used to being alone at night because it''s an open gated system, so its just like a wire gate that connects, you can make shapes out of it...so she was MUCH better when we put her in there because she could see the rest of the house, she did not like being put into a container where she had very limited visibility. i put her crate in there too so sometimes i''d actually find her in the crate sleeping and finally when she seemed used to it, i took away the xpen (and just put her in it during the day when i had to go out), and she slept in the crate at night.

every dog is different, i know alj''s dog LOVES his crate and thats where he goes when he feels like he has to escape or rest and sometimes they will find him just laying down in there during the day or something too. portia would never go in the crate unless it was night time...so she was surely happy when we deemed her bed-worthy (after about 1.2 years!) and got rid of the crate. but keeping the xpen around is necessary since if she has a sick night or something and i have to pen her up in the kitchen just in case, that xpen is perfect.

hang in there, you are doing fabulous....it gets easier with every day, i promise! also there will be times where it feels like one step forward, 3 steps back. just take it in stride. it''s all for the greater good, aka an adult dog that is potty-trained and listens and wants to hang out with you and be part of the pack/family in the future!

 

[widget]

Hi, Ginger...getting through the night peacefully is great news...I hope!

I'M NOT AN EXPERT by any means, but I too would be worried about his lassitude and disinterest in food. Puppies do sleep a lot, but not all the time. In fact, I'd probably get him into a vet today, or certainly before the weekend...

Is there a way you can get a "baby sitter" for next week? Or at the very least a "baby visiter/checker"?

widget

ET: !!!! I just read Mara's and F&I's posts! maybe I'm a fussbudget!

 

[Lorelei]

I agree with Widget, best to get the pup to the vet asap for a check up if he is reluctant to eat. Simple disorders and diseases can quickly become serious in a young puppy or kitten, best to have the vet check him and this will give you peace of mind. A young puppy even in a new home should be hungry, and although they can sleep a lot, he should be active in between. How old is he?

 

[fire&ice]

Regarding the naps, yes it is normal for the pup to sleep sleep & sleep. My motto is "the only good pup is a sleeping pup".

My Gus wasn''t a big eater - are you feeding the dog small portions 3 or 4x a day? Also, don''t isolate the dog when you feed it. And, as soon as it eats expect a poop or pee or both. One thing about puppies is they are predictable as far as their "movements". They drink water. They pee. They eat. They poop. It''s that automatic.

Again, how old is the puppy? Also, keep in mind, the breeder may not have done a good job of socializing the pup - so now - everything is new. Makes for your beginning journey harder.

 

[Erin]

Date: 3/22/2006 9:38:02 PM
Author: sunkist
No loud noices

This is the only part I disagree with. We''ve found that by not altering the sound of surroundings at all as a puppy (in fact playing loud music, etc.) he can handle things such as thunderstorms and fireworks better than other dogs we''ve been around and we think that''s why.

 

[kenny]

Oh my.
Too many changes all at once.
New home.
Lost siblings.
Crate, which in this situation may intensify the sense of isolation.

Happily our two 1-year old sisters were crate trained by a pro before we got them.
Crate training is wonderful.
I believe it is good for the dogs and the people.

In nature the parents put the pups in a den for safety.
They instinctively take to crates.
They don't think of it as a cage or punishment.

Our dogs love their crates.
They are about twice the size of the dogs and have clean soft pads.

Try this.
Spend a lot of time with the crate and you two on the couch.
Put your hand in the crate at first with the pup on your lap.
After a few days he will get used to it and stop associating it with lonliness.
Slowly keep him closer to it while petting and praising (ignore the fussing).
Spend time with him and your arm in the crate.
Increase the time your arm is out of the crate.
Then walk away just for a moment while talking to him.
Slowly increase the time you are away.

Never use the crate as punishment or for a time out.

Crate training is a god-send.
Our pups seem so happy and comfortable

 

[fire&ice]

Actually, Widget offers very sage advice. Go to the vet sooner rather than later. Take a stool sample - it''s not unusual for a pup to have some parasites. But, have the first car ride (put the crate in the car) be a fun/great experience - even if you go around the corner.

Also, dogs, including puppies, are very intuitive to your mood. In other words, dont worry - be happy.

 

[Mara]

I wouldn''t start doing the loud noises or socialization stuff right away...I think this poor little guy just needs some time on his own in the house with his new parents..

we did the socialization and exposure after the trainer came (again something we would have never known!), she told us that the more experiences and situations and types of people that we could expose her to before week 16 (aka 4 months old) the better, because she said that is when they are most accepting of learning new things. she said to take portia to a mall (we got a pet pocket, carrier on the body for her!) and walk around, show her lots of different people, kids, people on crutches, wheelchairs. take her for walks along busy streets. introduce her to as many people as possible, as many dogs as possible (the last part only after her last set of shots!!)

don''t be worried if he shies away from certain things after you start doing this. i took P for walks on a busy street near the house and she was scared, skittish, would jump when she heard a car backfire or something. i was thinking, great she is going to be a big scaredy cat and we won''t be able to take her out into crowds etc. but i kept with it....but we''d just go for short periods of time and then i would carry her home. well now she is FINE around stuff like that, so i don''t know if it was the exposure that helped introduce her to it, and now she is like yeah whatever i know mom wouldn''t let me get hurt...who knows what they think really.

it''s really easy to freak out and panic when they are small and staring at you, you are always wondering if you are doing the right thing. that was why the trainer helped me alot, i had a big list of questions for her when she came, and as we talked about the stuff i wanted to know, she played with portia and got her used to her and then taught her a few tricks right in front of me. of course after she left portia and i just stared at each other, but we eventually figured it out.

oh and i would say he would eat when he is hungry...we left P''s food out and she would just nibble during the day...she was not a voracious eater at all...but she would eat enough. now she is older she is a food scarfer, there''s no way we could leave it out! i divide it up and give her 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 at night and that is how her stomach seems to be happiest (sensitive stomach).

lastly, if you have not already, schedule an appt with your new vet ASAP..within the next few days for a basic checkup. this will set your mind at ease for any basic health issues and you can also ask about things like sleeping and eating. does your breeder have a warranty on the dog in case something was wrong with him? most will take the dog back within at least 30 days but ours had a warranty of a year in case anything large cropped up. however, after a year (even 30 days!) you are so attached, it doesn''t really matter! i wouldn''t have wanted another dog instead of portia.

 

[Mara]

haha ok i better stop posting, we are all overlapping each other with the same advice! heheee....the more the merrier!!

real quick re: the car ride, P hated being in the crate in the car, bad experiences when she was young BUT again I kept with it, i would reach in and pet her and talk to her the whole time, i played music, i brought treats with us and eventually she realized ''going in the car'' meant that we were off somewhere and she''d get to go! So now she loves it and I use a doggie seatbelt, but up until she was large enough to fit in it on her own (around 4 months), she stayed in the crate. Much happer in the seatbelt now! so don''t freak out if he doesn''t like the car either at first.