Really overwhelmed

[justginger]

Have you ever gotten to the point that you just can't deal with one more thing?

I'm desperately trying to study for exams. It's very stressful. I'm wayyyyy behind.

My mother is still unwell. Self explanatory.

I have to find the time to sort out official import paperwork and duty on a package I received that was valued more than $1000. This is the first time I've ever had to do so. Typical government paperwork with random codes and declarations, and of course, time limits.

And about 4 nights ago, it occurred to me that one of our cats has lost a lot of weight. As in, all vertebrae and hip bones easily felt. I hadn't noticed before. I watched him for a day - he refused all food and was weak in the hind end, like peripheral neuropathy. Took him to the vet the next day, and the testing began. Ketotic, but not diabetic. No FIV/leuk. Bloods showed a general inflammation pattern, with mild liver dysfunction. Did a beryllium obstruction test, which was clear. Basically $985 with no answers. He was sent home tonight to see if he would eat when not under stress. I've tried 4 kinds of soft food, puréed it, even kitten milk. He refuses it all. Tomorrow he will have to go back to have a bloody feeding tube inserted so he doesn't literally starve to death. Watching him totter around, off balance and skin and bones makes me feel ill. He's only a year old! And we're meant to be going away in three weeks -- what then? My BIL (who is house sitting) certainly won't be willing to do manual feeds, plus Filly is petrified of him, he wouldn't get close enough. But $150/day for vet hospital boarding?...

I feel like I'm at the end of my rope for the first time in a very long, long time.

 

[packrat]

Oh gosh, I'm sorry JG! It's so hard when everything just keeps piling up and it feels like your shoulders can't possibly take anymore. I don't have any words of wisdom-I wish I did. I can offer hugs tho? Commiseration?

 

[luv2sparkle]

Oh my gosh, JG. I totally get it. I have been there a few times in my life. Days when you are almost afraid to get up in the morning for fear of what could possibly happen next. Hugs and more hugs. I wish I could make easier for you. Prayer and hugs.

 

[missy]

Oh Ginger, I am so sorry you have so much on your plate right now. I find it helpful to just take a deep breath and take one thing at a time. First things first. Your mom is being cared for and watched over by your dad and the medical staff and is in good hands. Check.I am keeping your mom in my thoughts and prayers and sending lots of PS dust her way!

As for your exams/studies-you have been preparing for this and keeping up with it for quite the while so no undue stress there please. You will do great on your exams cause you know your stuff despite being derailed with all the other stuff.

Your darling kitty- you are being proactive, brought him to the vet and hopefully whatever is causing him to not eat will be figured out and cured. Did the vet want to see him back? Are they doing any other tests? I know you are doing all you can and I hope whatever is causing your sweet furbaby not to eat will be taken care of so he can start on the road to recovery...sending healing dust his way!

3 weeks is still a time away and hopefully things will start looking up before then. In the meantime all you can do is the best you can do and just compartmentalize each thing as you are taking care of it so it won't seem as overwhelming and daunting if you kwim. When you are studying just concentrate on that etc.

Sending lots of good thoughts and healing vibes your way Ginger!

 

[JewelFreak]

Ginger, wrap you up in my arms & make it all better. I don't know why all the crap lands on us at once, but it seems to be a universal law. When it happens, I'm helped by picturing things a year from now, when all this will be past & only an icky memory. That WILL happen. Thoughts, blessings & dust to you from here! Hang in there -- your mom's being taken care of, so your worrying won't help her. Love your kitty, praying for her to get well quickly.

More dust & more hugs!

--- Laurie

 

[dragonfly411]

Ginger - I am sorry you feel overwhelmed. I don't blame you at all! I'm sending lots of good healthy vibes for your mom and your kitty and TONS of study vibes to you! :: HUGS ::

 

[minousbijoux]

Dust your way, JG.

I'm also thinking about the kitty: you are so tapped in to rescue work; is there anyone through that organization who under the circumstances of your trip might be willing to help you out and watch your kitty? Not trying to add stress of one more thing, just trying to help problem solve with you.

Oh, and the least important of all those would be the international package, especially if throwing some money at it would fix it...

 

[lulu]

Dust your way, JG.

I'm also thinking about the kitty: you are so tapped in to rescue work; is there anyone through that organization who under the circumstances of your trip might be willing to help you out and watch your kitty? Not trying to add stress of one more thing, just trying to help problem solve with you.

Oh, and the least important of all those would be the international package, especially if throwing some money at it would fix it...

This is what I was thinking. The techs at the shelter can handle it. Hope things get better soon.

 

[Smith1942]

It never rains but it pours, doesn't it, JG? Poor you.

OK. There's nothing you can do about your mom and you are booked to go and see her soon, so try to put it to the back of your mind for the moment in order to deal with the matters that are on your plate before departure time. (As you probably know, my mother is also ill, terminally, on another continent, and keeping busy is a wonderful way to cope.)

Secondly, is there someone else who would house sit? Or, is there anyone who lives nearby who is experienced with animals who would come over and feed your kitty? Maybe a responsible teenager of 15-18 ish who grew up with pets and wants to earn some money? You could pay that person to feed your cat - like $35 a day or something. It would be cheaper than the vet hospital boarding. However, if there is no way for your cat to get fed while you're away, then you'll just have to book your cat into the boarding. Don't spend too much time on it. Swallow the cost and move on. (Don't mean to sound hard; just that when life is throwing grenades at you right left and centre, you have to go military!)

About the package, set aside two hours to deal with it. Call whichever govt dept you need to, or fill out their forms - maybe there's a phone number where you can pay what you owe over the phone? Just allocate two hours where you deal with that. Say to yourself, "Between 10 and 12 tomorrow morning, I will deal with that package."

Then, with your mum at the back of your mind, the kitty sorted - whether with a neighbour or with boarding - and the package fees sorted, you can go hell for leather with your studying.

I doubt you are as behind with your studies as you think. It always feels like that. It's a sign that you are aware of how much material there is. People who fail exams frequently haven't grasped the sheer scope of the area of study. The fact that you feel overwhelmed with your studies is actually a positive sign - it means you're getting to grips with the complexity of the material.

Sorry if this email is full of unsolicited advice - just that when you're overwhelmed, you sometimes need an objective outsider to help you through.

Good luck!

 

[yssie]

Oh Ginger

Your mum is going to be getting the BEST possible care at Mayo. I know it's absurd to suggest that you try not to stress too much because no-one can *not* worry about a loved one who is ill, but I hope knowing that she's got everything working in her favour re. excellent treatment once she's out of therapy and ready for surgery is some comfort. I'm also completely confident that if you took your exams without a stitch more prep you'd do just fine - maybe you might not make the Dean's list again, but you'd earn perfectly respectable grades, and... just knowing that is something to be proud of.

The package - well, that really is just Murphy's law in action, isn't it? It's an annoyance but on the bright side once it's dealt with it's off your plate for good!

And kitty... you noted something wrong and you're going to do everything you can to fix it, and that's all you can do. At about a year old one of ours went off his food and lost a lot of weight very quickly, and the vet couldn't find anything wrong. She diagnosed FIP and gave us prednisone and nutrient suppliments as a last resort and we spent the next two weeks hand-feeding him... syringes of kitten formula, purees of everything I could think of, subQ fluids - and he recovered and now he's a six year old fifteen-pound lovebug. You know so much about and have so much experience with animal health and wellness - your little guy is getting the BEST possible care in your hands, just like your mum will be out here.

Hang in there!! Sometimes when I'm at the end of my tether telling myself that "everything will be okay in the end, so if it's not okay it's not the end" really does make me feel better, dreadfully cliched as it is. I'm sending you lots and lots of ::HUGS::!

 

[yssie]

Smith - I didn't know that. I don't want to derail Ginger's thread but I'm about as far from a pragmatist as it gets when it comes to stuff like this, so... an unsolicited but very, very big ::HUG:: to you too!!

 

[kenny]

I'm sending a big hug to you Justginger.
FWIW, I admire you.

 

[Gypsy]

I'm so sorry honey. I can hear your frustration and anger and also your exhaustion.

((HUG)) and much dust coming your way.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

Hugs and dust.

 

[TooPatient]

Yes, I've gotten to that point!
I've been pretty much there for the last month and a half.

It sucks that life seems to dump it all on you at one time. I don't know why. Maybe it just feels like it because when you're stressed over one thing everything else just feels so much worse.


Your mom is getting good care and you'll be visiting her soon. I know it is hard (impossible!) to not worry, but just keep in mind that she knows you love her and you'll be together in just a few weeks.


You are an amazing kitty watcher! Don't let yourself think that you should have noticed it sooner. The truth is that when you're with your animals every day, it is easy to miss changes that occur over a few days or weeks. The important thing is that you DID notice and you ARE doing everything you can to help him get better. You are working with your vet and doing everything right.

food -- Have you tried tuna mixed with pureed pumpkin? We had a cat who refused to eat but would have this. Maybe chicken broth (unsalted!) so he gets some nutrients when he drinks?

boarding -- I love the idea of checking with your rescue organization. The people there would certainly be able to care for him and you'd know he was in good hands. You might also check with the store you buy your cat food -- I know the ladies where we get ours will take care of peoples cats/dogs/birds/lizards while they are out of town.


Paperwork --- No way around it. It just sucks. Hugely. I feel like every time I've turned around the last few months there has been another stack of forms waiting for me. All of them with the dang secret codes and hidden requirements and tight timelines (except for processing...). Take an hour (or two or three) and just fill them out and get them submitted. You'll feel a lot better when you can get the whole stack done and out of your life.


Sending you lots of hugs. You'll make it through!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Sorry you are going through so much. There have been times in my life that were overwhelming, paralyzing. What has helped me is to take things one day at a time. Sometimes one minute. What needs to get done TODAY. What is the NEXT step. Really simplifying my thinking. Also I remember that all feelings are temporary. When I am overwhelmed, scared, angry, depressed...it is temporary. It also allows me to enjoy happiness more because that is also temporary so I don't take it for granted. Finally I remind myself I am stronger than I think. I have gone through some very difficult things and I am still standing. You will get through this too.

 

[Kaleigh]

Huge hugs!!! As many have said, one thing at a time.. If you look at the whole situation... It is overwhelming... Do what you can do for you now.

You're a strong lady... Admire you a lot! Hang in there!!!

 

[vc10um]

Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts and wishes that things will work out, jg!

 

[armywife13]

Lots of hugs and dust, JG!!!

 

[LaraOnline]

Sorry to hear you're feeling so pressured JG.
One foot in front of the other, be as methodical as you can.
Get plenty of sleep.
This too shall pass, soon enough.

 

[Smith1942]

Smith - I didn't know that. I don't want to derail Ginger's thread but I'm about as far from a pragmatist as it gets when it comes to stuff like this, so... an unsolicited but very, very big ::HUG:: to you too!!

Thanks Yssie. I only mentioned it here because I'd advised Ginger to put her mum's situation to back of her mind for now and, unless she knew I was in a very similar situation, she might think that it's all very well for me to say and it might have sounded a bit flippant. I meant to convey that I've been there and a bit of mind-blocking can be healthy in moderation, when you've done all you can for now and there are pressing matters at hand. So apologies for any potential threadjacking!

 

[Rosebloom]

I'm sending a big hug to you Justginger.
FWIW, I admire you.

Big big hugs and admiration from me too.

 

[Polished]

I'm desperately trying to study for exams. It's very stressful. I'm wayyyyy behind.

You expect a lot from yourself Ginger. It's great and I say go for it, but there are times when you might need to ease up on yourself and remember that sometimes life encroaches.

I'd love to hand feed your cat so you could focus on your studies but you're over the other side of Australia from me. Do you know anyone who might like to do this?