Q for our European friends...

[AprilBaby]

Remind me again why anything over 1 ct is considered too large in Europe? In another post several people mentioned no one said anything about their ring because it was large and they thought people would think it rude to comment. Why? Politeness? Gaudiness? Materialistic?
And why more sapphires and rubies instead of diamonds? Queen Elizabeth has a gorgeous diamond engagement ring as does the Duchess of Cornwall. What do they think of Americans obsession with big diamonds? Just curious.

 

[HollyDolly]

It isn't considered too large, just unusual. Diamonds are much more expensive here, there's very little online presence aside from b&m store websites so it's not the norm. On a typical b&m website a one carat diamond is around the £5-£7k mark. I'd say the average spend on an engagement ring in the uk is up to £2k, so you can see the discrepancy!

Cost of living generally is also more expensive here, £100k won't buy you a house in most places and you need at least at 10 or 20% deposit for a mortgage so it's a combination of cost and priorities in my opinion

 

[Astra]

In my country diamonds are even more expensive... just the other day I saw 1ct diamond ring in 14ct white gold (brilliant cut not so great specs, solitaire ring) for $18000 , welcome to Europe

 

[HollyDolly]

That's pretty much the same as here, I used pounds rather than dollars!

 

[Astra]

I know, but in Croatia 18000 dollars is around 11000 pounds, that's why I assumed we are in greater s*it than UK...

 

[mayerling]

In my parents' generation, it was mostly coloured stones. My mother has a small diamond (don't know any specs on it - neither does she - but it looks less than .5), but none of my aunts' do. In the UK, I rarely see anything over .5 except in London where I've spotted rings in the 1ct range. I think there is a bit of "it's so gaudy" attitude in Europe. A lot of people do see it as an American thing to have a huge diamond.

 

[AGBF]

I'm going to turn this question on its head. When I was growing up here in the United States, the usual engagement ring for a middle class woman was perhaps 1/4 or 1/3 carat. My mother, who had eloped, had no picture of herself as a bride in the living room as did all my friends when I was growing up. She also wore only a plain (white) gold wedding band. (My father had given her a platinum eternity band set with tiny diamonds, one I gave to my godson to use as his wife's wedding band a little over a year ago, when I was born. She did not wear that often, however.)

I grew up wanting to have a picture of myself as a bride and a wanting a "real" engagement ring with one of those "real" diamonds that was 1/4 or 1/3 carat in size.

I think it is the United States that has changed recently, not Europe. Over the past few decades, between when I was a child dreaming of becoming a bride -and indeed even when I became a bride-and now, the United States changed.

The question (in my opinion) shouldn't be why don't Europeans like large diamonds, but why did we Americans suddenly become so interested in them?

Deb/AGBF

 

[SB621]

I'm going to turn this question on its head. When I was growing up here in the United States, the usual engagement ring for a middle class woman was perhaps 1/4 or 1/3 carat. My mother, who had eloped, had no picture of herself as a bride in the living room as did all my friends when I was growing up. She also wore only a plain (white) gold wedding band. (My father had given her a platinum eternity band set with tiny diamonds, one I gave to my godson to use as his wife's wedding band a little over a year ago, when I was born. She did not wear that often, however.)

I grew up wanting to have a picture of myself as a bride and a wanting a "real" engagement ring with one of those "real" diamonds that was 1/4 or 1/3 carat in size.

I think it is the United States that has changed recently, not Europe. Over the past few decades, between when I was a child dreaming of becoming a bride -and indeed even when I became a bride-and now, the United States changed.

The question (in my opinion) shouldn't be why don't Europeans like large diamonds, but why did we Americans suddenly become so interested in them?

Deb/AGBF

AGBF You took the words right out of my mouth. My family is split between continents so I have grown up in the USA and abroad. My cousins who live overseas all get engaged with family rings. Their mother's mother ring and so on. It is a lovely tradition. Or if they don't have an heirloom ring they get a simple high gold band which has been popular in Eastern Europe (where my family is from) since the 1800's. I think up to 30 or 40 years ago it was the same in the United States but then as you mentioned engagments and weddings started to change and evolve into the hooplah they are now.

 

[Smith1942]

It's all here in the thread below - Aprilbaby, I think you participated in this.

I can only speak for my own country, England, but in order to understand you first need to get how deeply, thoroughly class-obsessed a country the UK is. As someone once said, it's basically a caste system.

New, large diamonds are considered deeply tacky. Someone who was really "posh" enough to wear large diamonds would need that money to repair the roof of their castle. Also, it's non-U to use the words "posh" and "classy". If you're really posh and classy you don't know that you are because you were just born that way into that world, as were all your friends and acquaintances, and it's bad taste to talk about it. So you would never use those words. You'd never catch a truly posh English person using the word "posh". Or having fitted carpets, or talking about the "lounge", or showing surprise. That's common. ("Common" in the British sense of "lower-class" not the American sense of "seen everywhere".)

Enjoy!

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/isnt-it-strange.174304/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/isnt-it-strange.174304/[/URL]

 

[GK2]

I totally echo HollyDolly's comments that it is not about it being too large - its just extremely unusual. It's very difficult to explain how difficult it is to find an independent jeweller who also understands quality and who will source graded stones that are not astronomically priced - there's a reason why so many on here from the UK buy from the US!

I'm very lucky in that whilst I live in a deprived city in the north of England, I have two incredible jewellers I use for custom as well as a cracking antique jewellers which is like an Aladdins Cave based in my city. Both understand quality and offer GIA stones.

I'm not so sure the class system has much to do with it - all those I know who have married into titled families or who come from old money have all had substantial rings. There does seem to be a higher proportion of coloured stone rings though...

My own ering is a very nice sized pear sapphire with a diamond surround and I do get a lot of admiring comments from strangers - add this to my 2tcw diamond studs, 1.36 solitaire pendant on a 1tcw DBTY chain, a DBTY bracelet and my Rolex and I'm pretty decked out! I don't really give a hoot if someone thinks I'm trashy or tacky - I'm way too busy getting lost in sparkles to care

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

I think Smith1942 has described not only the class system in England that caused only the rich to have or desire diamonds, but most of Europe as well. Most countries were ruled by royalty, and the common man had no gem and jewelry aspirations. In America we teach everyone that they have upward mobility. In recent decades, there is also the assumption that they can have everything they want.

I am a broken record when I repeat that the expansion of credit has led to the expectation of having it all. But, in fact, we may have created the American class system, which is more pernicious than anyone thought possible. Demand feeds on itself. We believe that if people we know can have it, we can too. I don't think you could ever find a better example of women wanting bigger and bigger diamonds then on pricescope. It may seem simplistic, but its contagious. There are also often 2 people working, so they have more funds.

My parents, my aunts and uncles, who were Europeans, had gold wedding bands. I never heard them discuss diamonds, rubies or any jewelry. My mother never wished for a diamond, but my brother and cousins all got their wives diamond engagement rings. I don't recall how big. What amazes me is how many young women have or want larger diamonds. If, after other needs are taken care of, women want to spend their money on larger diamonds, good for them. I don't understand when younger people are just starting out, why they would even want a larger diamond, unless they are from the upper classe.

Sorry, I bit rambling, I think


Annette

 

[rosetta]

Well, smith hit in on the head. Big ditto on all of that.

Although I have lived in the UK for a long time, I'm not British by birth or nationality so I dont bother with the local idiosyncrasies. Where I originally hail from, our family have been so-called "old money" (I hate that phrase) for a long time (they were feudal landowners). They have huge contingents of servants still. Some of my mother's aunts aunts have never stepped inside a store, as shopkeepers bring their wares to their house for their perusal, they would consider it beneath them to go out. They dont think much of me as im a lowly doctor, a working woman gasp! horror! I am south asian, so jewellery has traditionally been a way to store wealth, so heaps of it is absolutely fine, nothing is too gaudy. Added to this is that I have been PS influenced, so I ended up with a bigger than average diamond for the UK. It doesn't get commented on, and most people probably think its way too flashy. The only place I ever get compliments is jewellery stores, where they positively gush. Otherwise, never ever anywhere else.

My 1 carat cushion diamond gets admired a lot, but I wear it a lot less than my 3 stone as I'm paranoid about losing it (it is irreplaceable in my eyes as my husband proposed with it).

ETA a lot of people in the UK also look down on any colour/clarity below F and VS. they always say something like "oh I chose quality over quantity"

 

[AprilBaby]

Thanks for all your kind replies!

 

[Ally T]

This is a really interesting thread, Aprilbaby! I am in the UK & its good to read other peoples opinions. I live in a middle / upper class part of Cheshire, and in every coffee shop I venture to there will be women chatting wearing huge diamond rings & Rolex watches. We bought our house when prices were through the roof 7 years ago, so my boyfriend at the time didn't have too much spare cash for my engagement ring. He spent £2k back in 1996, and my original ring seemed extravagant at that time. But it was a mere token gesture to the women who now surround me in everyday - they are very competitive.

When I was looking for my replacement pear, I went with a 1.02 carat, D colour, VS2. It felt like a massive self-indulgence (it was just over £7k a year ago) just for the diamond and then we had to pay additional for the setting. Out of all my close friends, I now own the biggest & most sparkly ring, even though I am surrounded in everyday life by rocks that make mine look like a grain of sand. My friends drool over mine even though some of them have high incomes because here it is the norm that you hang onto your original engagement ring - upgrading doesn't happen unless something happens to the original ring such as damage like mine, or theft etc. So they covet my ring whilst I covet the rings of the strangers who I see eating cake after they've finished the school run. I blame Pricescope largely for that Personally I would be happier to upgrade again to a larger pear down the line, for 2 reasons. Firstly there isn't the sentimentality with my pear as there was with my original e-ring, and second because I am surrounded by bigger in most daily activities, so I could get away with it

 

[Circe]

Well, smith hit in on the head. Big ditto on all of that.

Although I have lived in the UK for a long time, I'm not British by birth or nationality so I dont bother with the local idiosyncrasies. Where I originally hail from, our family have been so-called "old money" (I hate that phrase) for a long time (they were feudal landowners). They have huge contingents of servants still. Some of my mother's aunts aunts have never stepped inside a store, as shopkeepers bring their wares to their house for their perusal, they would consider it beneath them to go out. They dont think much of me as im a lowly doctor, a working woman gasp! horror! I am south asian, so jewellery has traditionally been a way to store wealth, so heaps of it is absolutely fine, nothing is too gaudy. Added to this is that I have been PS influenced, so I ended up with a bigger than average diamond for the UK. It doesn't get commented on, and most people probably think its way too flashy. The only place I ever get compliments is jewellery stores, where they positively gush. Otherwise, never ever anywhere else.

My 1 carat cushion diamond gets admired a lot, but I wear it a lot less than my 3 stone as I'm paranoid about losing it (it is irreplaceable in my eyes as my husband proposed with it).

ETA a lot of people in the UK also look down on any colour/clarity below F and VS. they always say something like "oh I chose quality over quantity"

I'm reading with interest as an American, and hoping for more stories ... just wanted to chime in to say that the looks they get when you reply, "Oh, I went for both ...." are absolutely priceless.

 

[rosetta]

Well, smith hit in on the head. Big ditto on all of that.

Although I have lived in the UK for a long time, I'm not British by birth or nationality so I dont bother with the local idiosyncrasies. Where I originally hail from, our family have been so-called "old money" (I hate that phrase) for a long time (they were feudal landowners). They have huge contingents of servants still. Some of my mother's aunts aunts have never stepped inside a store, as shopkeepers bring their wares to their house for their perusal, they would consider it beneath them to go out. They dont think much of me as im a lowly doctor, a working woman gasp! horror! I am south asian, so jewellery has traditionally been a way to store wealth, so heaps of it is absolutely fine, nothing is too gaudy. Added to this is that I have been PS influenced, so I ended up with a bigger than average diamond for the UK. It doesn't get commented on, and most people probably think its way too flashy. The only place I ever get compliments is jewellery stores, where they positively gush. Otherwise, never ever anywhere else.

My 1 carat cushion diamond gets admired a lot, but I wear it a lot less than my 3 stone as I'm paranoid about losing it (it is irreplaceable in my eyes as my husband proposed with it).

ETA a lot of people in the UK also look down on any colour/clarity below F and VS. they always say something like "oh I chose quality over quantity"

I'm reading with interest as an American, and hoping for more stories ... just wanted to chime in to say that the looks they get when you reply, "Oh, I went for both ...." are absolutely priceless.

Oooh if anyone said that directly to me, I would so answer like that! I've heard it said by other people to other people, but I felt like I couldn't answer on their behalf. I was so tempted though, as that is the kind of catty comment I truly hate. It is incredibly mean spirited!

 

[AGBF]

Well, smith hit in on the head. Big ditto on all of that.

Although I have lived in the UK for a long time, I'm not British by birth or nationality so I dont bother with the local idiosyncrasies. Where I originally hail from, our family have been so-called "old money" (I hate that phrase) for a long time (they were feudal landowners). They have huge contingents of servants still. Some of my mother's aunts aunts have never stepped inside a store, as shopkeepers bring their wares to their house for their perusal, they would consider it beneath them to go out. They dont think much of me as im a lowly doctor, a working woman gasp! horror! I am south asian, so jewellery has traditionally been a way to store wealth, so heaps of it is absolutely fine, nothing is too gaudy. Added to this is that I have been PS influenced, so I ended up with a bigger than average diamond for the UK. It doesn't get commented on, and most people probably think its way too flashy. The only place I ever get compliments is jewellery stores, where they positively gush. Otherwise, never ever anywhere else.

My 1 carat cushion diamond gets admired a lot, but I wear it a lot less than my 3 stone as I'm paranoid about losing it (it is irreplaceable in my eyes as my husband proposed with it).

ETA a lot of people in the UK also look down on any colour/clarity below F and VS. they always say something like "oh I chose quality over quantity"

I'm reading with interest as an American, and hoping for more stories ... just wanted to chime in to say that the looks they get when you reply, "Oh, I went for both ...." are absolutely priceless.

Oooh if anyone said that directly to me, I would so answer like that! I've heard it said by other people to other people, but I felt like I couldn't answer on their behalf. I was so tempted though, as that is the kind of catty comment I truly hate. It is incredibly mean spirited!

It is catty, but I wouldn't be satisfied with the, "Oh, I went for both..." reply. I think I might say, "I didn't know one was required to choose.".

Deb