Pregnant and smoking

[Niel]

What is your opinion on this?

There is a woman at my work that smokes at breaks and lunches. She has sense she started. She is due next week.

Her husband works there two,and does not seem bothered by this. I say this because she has smokes in her previous 2 pregnancies as well.

 

[ponder]

Obviously it's not a good thing, but the few friends I have that are smokers at least cut WAYYY back while they were pregnant, if they were unable to fully quit.

 

[kenny]

I'm not a woman or even a straight man.
Therefore, to some, my opinion shouldn't hold weight ... but smoking while pregnant is better for the fetus than abortion.
Many here are pro-choice.

So, how can someone be pro-choice, yet tell a pregnant mom to not smoke if she intends to deliver?

 

[sonnyjane]

What is your opinion on this?

There is a woman at my work that smokes at breaks and lunches. She has sense she started. She is due next week.

Her husband works there two,and does not seem bothered by this. I say this because she has smokes in her previous 2 pregnancies as well.

Don't like it, but you just keep your mouth shut. She's due in a week. Any potential damage is already done.

 

[jordyonbass]

It's something that I find disgusting and always have, however I have also heard that suddenly quitting cigarettes can be very traumatic and stressful due to the nicotine withdrawals for the fetus. I also have a friend who quit during her first pregnancy but smoked during her second and she said that the difference was like night and day when it came to her stress levels, so there may be something to that (obviously not saying here that smoking is good during pregnancy at all).

Even in my metal-punk days before I turned 20 I found it disgusting; I would see the girlfriends of guys in the scene, smoking and drinking at venues. I still remember that despite the fact I'd go out for a week at a time in the same clothes, boots and leather jacket (also usable as pillow and blanket), take copious amounts of drugs/drink and meet many like minded people at the events - when it came to women smoking when pregnant? I was about as striaght edge as it comes

 

[jordyonbass]

I'm not a woman or even a straight man.
Therefore, to some, my opinion shouldn't hold weight ... but smoking while pregnant is better for the fetus than abortion.
Many here are pro-choice.

So, how can someone be pro-choice, yet tell a pregnant mom to not smoke if she intends to deliver?

Pretty easily. Actually it causes less problems than being anti-choice in my eyes.
The way that I see it, if the anti-choice mob got their way with legislation then you would actually see a rise in pregnant mother's smoking as well as mental health, suicide, domestic violence and other social problems. So it might solve what they see as a problem, but it will then open up the door to various other issues that are far worse.

Take away their choice Kenny, take away their tool to make a responsible decision.

 

[katharath]

I don't smoke, never smoked during my pregnancies. And I admit that it looks bad, it's certainly not something I would ever encourage. But that being said, I can feel sympathy for women who smoke while pg, mostly bc I'm sure that most of them don't *want* to be smoking, wish they could quit, and/or are trying their best. I've had a cousin and a close friend who were both fairly heavy smokers. Both of them cut back a LOT while they were pg and tried to quit entirely but just couldn't get all the way there. I felt badly FOR them, not at them, if that makes sense.

Also, frankly it's not going to cause the same type of harm that other things, such as drinking, will cause. My grandmother smokes like a chimney, it's pretty awful. At least two packs a day. She's done that her entire adult life. She had 5 children and smoked HEAVILY during every pregnancy. However, my dad and all four siblings were born perfectly fine. They never had any significant health issues as child, and no asthma or allergies or really anything at all.

On the reverse side, if one were to DRINK heavily while pg - well, we know that drinking heavily absolutely can and will cause permanent irreversible damage. So to my mind, smoking is not ideal, but not the worst thing or even close.

I completely understand that it's not good; it's nothing I've done or would do; but I think most of the women you see actually doing it are aware that it looks pretty bad and understand what they're doing, they probably just can't help it; our personal judgement doesn't help the situation, and would just make them feel worse. I think most are just trying to do their best. Then there are women smoking while pg who may not care at all; but telling them that they're doing something harmful probably won't help at all bc they just don't care to begin with.

Actually now that I think of it, it's kind of like being overweight. I'm overweight and believe me, I'm aware of it. Other people judging me about it doesn't actually help the situation in any way.

ETA - I'm not at all making light of the possible health problems that could arise due to smoking while pg. I know that it increases chances for quite a few things such as low birth weight, breathing issues etc. I'm just saying that to my mind, the risks are far less than what you'd expect for other behaviors the moms could be engaging in (alcohol and drugs), so I would just say try not to judge too harshly, I think these women are usually trying their best.

 

[Niel]

Interesting comments


I already know my opinion, but nice to see what others think.

 

[tuffyluvr]

Wait, whaaaaat?!? Women smoking while pregnant today? I had no idea that this was even an issue! I don't know many people who smoke, and it's possible that the people I do know who smoke did sneak cigarettes during pregnancy. People already judge smokers harshly, so I would imagine that pregnant smokers would be totally shamed and vilified, so I'm totally shocked that your coworker would smoke on break at work! Seems pretty blatant!

Anyways, to answer your question: I would stay out of it. Not worth it to stir the pot at work.

 

[missy]

Not your business so yeah I would stay out of it. It's her choice period. Remember that slippery slope of freedom and choices. So while I may not agree with your choice I will defend your right to make them. Anyway it is too late for your advice to do any good so it really is not an issue at this point.

I will say if I was asked for my advice I would certainly share it (i.e. not being for smoking during pregnancy or at any time for that matter but that is another topic) however I will keep my mouth shut if I am not asked.


Niel, I am interested about that she can smoke at lunch at work. Is smoking allowed inside your work place?

 

[Niel]

Again, just wanted opinions, I don't need advise, I know when to

 

[Niel]

Not your business so yeah I would stay out of it. It's her choice period. Remember that slippery slope of freedom and choices. So while I may not agree with your choice I will defend your right to make them. Anyway it is too late for your advice to do any good so it really is not an issue at this point.

I will say if I was asked for my advice I would certainly share it (i.e. not being for smoking during pregnancy or at any time for that matter but that is another topic) however I will keep my mouth shut if I am not asked.


Niel, I am interested about that she can smoke at lunch at work. Is smoking allowed inside your work place?

It's permitted in our vehicles but not in the building or outside.

 

[missy]

Not your business so yeah I would stay out of it. It's her choice period. Remember that slippery slope of freedom and choices. So while I may not agree with your choice I will defend your right to make them. Anyway it is too late for your advice to do any good so it really is not an issue at this point.

I will say if I was asked for my advice I would certainly share it (i.e. not being for smoking during pregnancy or at any time for that matter but that is another topic) however I will keep my mouth shut if I am not asked.


Niel, I am interested about that she can smoke at lunch at work. Is smoking allowed inside your work place?

It's permitted in our vehicles but not in the building or outside.

OK got it, thanks Niel.

I am all for doing what one wants as long as it doesn't personally affect me negatively and all studies show and prove how damaging secondhand smoke can be. Smoke if you want but not in my face OK.

Which does boggle my mind how someone in this day and age can smoke with abandon while pregnant. I understand how challenging it is to quit but I also understand how very challenging being a parent is. That is why I chose not to undertake that challenge and I think that if one chooses that responsibility to have children one should do their very best to not smoke and do other potentially harmful things to their fetus while pregnant. However ultimately it is *their* choice and no one else's.

But again I wouldn't say a thing because no good deed goes unpunished and you are not going to change her mind or even tell her anything she doesn't already know. I have a gf who drank during both her pregnancies (not a lot but still enough IMO) and her 2 boys turned out very very well thankfully. People are going to do what they feel is right and best for them and their families and it is really not our business. Unless asked of course.

 

[marymm]

What is your opinion on this?

There is a woman at my work that smokes at breaks and lunches. She has sense she started. She is due next week.

Her husband works there two,and does not seem bothered by this. I say this because she has smokes in her previous 2 pregnancies as well.

My opinion is that this is something to be addressed by the mother-to-be and to a lesser extent the father-to-be, with significant input from their medical team. IOW, none of my business.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I think she made her choice and will live with the consequences if there are any. I know my Mother smoked while she was pregnant with me (80's) but she also smoked while pregnant with my twin brothers (2003ish). She knew she shouldn't have but could not quit. I believe she had cut back but I don't really remember. I personally am a former smoker and made sure to quit before TTC. I'm glad I did, I'm not sure how I would have handled it pregnant.

 

[Laila619]

Well I'm not afraid to say it; I think it's horrifying! From increased risk of SIDS to low birth weight to asthma, there are all kinds of potential negative consequences for the fetus. When you decide to become a mom, there are things you have to give up or sacrifice for the health and safety of the baby. It might suck, but that's the reality. That baby didn't ask to be born. IMO, it's not fair for the baby to have to suffer the consequences of the mother's poor choices. It's not really that much different than drinking or doing drugs.

 

[iLander]

When I got pregnant with the kids, I was a heavy smoker. Over two packs a day.

And for SOME freakin reason, as soon as I found out I was expecting, I went cold turkey with no problem.

Just stopped. Didn't even have the urge. It was strange. Nine months, no cigarettes, either child. It's like my cravings bypassed the craving part of my brain and went straight to concern for the child.

It was interesting, and I can't explain it.

 

[tuffyluvr]

This reminds me of a situation I was put in a couple years ago... My friend's eldest sister got pregnant with her first baby (naturally/no fertility treatment) at age 48. She got engaged at about 4 months pregnant and her family threw her an engagement party when she was close to 6 months. Upon arrival at the party we saw the pregnant bride-to-be with a glass of champagne in hand. Didn't think too much of it as plenty of pregnant women have a small glass of wine now and then, and she was celebrating her engagement. However, the whole party looked on with horror as she filled her glass again and again. I counted 4 refills and I arrived an hour into the party and left before it was finished! Everyone at the party was whispering about it, but the only people to actually confront the bride-to-be were her future MIL and SIL. It really was such an awkward position to be in and personally I felt pained by it. It was so hard to watch!! I can't believe that anyone would have such little regard for the fetus growing inside them. As Laila and others have said, that baby didn't choose to be born! I also felt like, if she was willing to drink at least 4 glasses of champagne in front of friends and family, what was she doing behind closed doors?!?! Luckily her baby turned out fine.

 

[momhappy]

While it might be none of our business, we can still have opinions about it (which is exactly what Niel was asking when she started this thread).
My opinion is that I think that smoking during pregnancy is pretty awful. I agree with Laila619 about the sacrifices that we all make when becoming a mom. If you can't quit smoking for the health of your unborn child, then I think thats pretty sad...

 

[NonieMarie]

I'm not a woman or even a straight man.
Therefore, to some, my opinion shouldn't hold weight ... but smoking while pregnant is better for the fetus than abortion.
Many here are pro-choice.

So, how can someone be pro-choice, yet tell a pregnant mom to not smoke if she intends to deliver?

You just couldn't help yourself

 

[NonieMarie]

When I got pregnant with the kids, I was a heavy smoker. Over two packs a day.

And for SOME freakin reason, as soon as I found out I was expecting, I went cold turkey with no problem.

Just stopped. Didn't even have the urge. It was strange. Nine months, no cigarettes, either child. It's like my cravings bypassed the craving part of my brain and went straight to concern for the child.

It was interesting, and I can't explain it.

Me too but I was sick as a dog and that helped. I just hope she does not smoke in her house or the car. My step daughter smoked both times while pregnant. She is a very anxious person and said she could not quit. She still smokes but outside. It would make me nuts when both her and her husband would light up in the car with the kids and just crack the window.

 

[NonieMarie]

This reminds me of a situation I was put in a couple years ago... My friend's eldest sister got pregnant with her first baby (naturally/no fertility treatment) at age 48. She got engaged at about 4 months pregnant and her family threw her an engagement party when she was close to 6 months. Upon arrival at the party we saw the pregnant bride-to-be with a glass of champagne in hand. Didn't think too much of it as plenty of pregnant women have a small glass of wine now and then, and she was celebrating her engagement. However, the whole party looked on with horror as she filled her glass again and again. I counted 4 refills and I arrived an hour into the party and left before it was finished! Everyone at the party was whispering about it, but the only people to actually confront the bride-to-be were her future MIL and SIL. It really was such an awkward position to be in and personally I felt pained by it. It was so hard to watch!! I can't believe that anyone would have such little regard for the fetus growing inside them. As Laila and others have said, that baby didn't choose to be born! I also felt like, if she was willing to drink at least 4 glasses of champagne in front of friends and family, what was she doing behind closed doors?!?! Luckily her baby turned out fine.

In the 80's I worked as a waitress. There was a woman that would come in every couple weeks for business lunches. She was a heavy drinker, vodka martinis. We began to notice she was pregnant but continued to drink. At around 6 months she disappeared for a few weeks. When she returned she had a broken leg and was not pregnant anymore. No one asked her anything and she continued to drink at least 3 martinis every time she was there for lunch.

 

[tuffyluvr]

This reminds me of a situation I was put in a couple years ago... My friend's eldest sister got pregnant with her first baby (naturally/no fertility treatment) at age 48. She got engaged at about 4 months pregnant and her family threw her an engagement party when she was close to 6 months. Upon arrival at the party we saw the pregnant bride-to-be with a glass of champagne in hand. Didn't think too much of it as plenty of pregnant women have a small glass of wine now and then, and she was celebrating her engagement. However, the whole party looked on with horror as she filled her glass again and again. I counted 4 refills and I arrived an hour into the party and left before it was finished! Everyone at the party was whispering about it, but the only people to actually confront the bride-to-be were her future MIL and SIL. It really was such an awkward position to be in and personally I felt pained by it. It was so hard to watch!! I can't believe that anyone would have such little regard for the fetus growing inside them. As Laila and others have said, that baby didn't choose to be born! I also felt like, if she was willing to drink at least 4 glasses of champagne in front of friends and family, what was she doing behind closed doors?!?! Luckily her baby turned out fine.

In the 80's I worked as a waitress. There was a woman that would come in every couple weeks for business lunches. She was a heavy drinker, vodka martinis. We began to notice she was pregnant but continued to drink. At around 6 months she disappeared for a few weeks. When she returned she had a broken leg and was not pregnant anymore. No one asked her anything and she continued to drink at least 3 martinis every time she was there for lunch.

Oh dear! How awful!!! I can only imagine what happened?!?

My mom smoked through her pregnancy with me (in '78-'79) and I have suffered from severe asthma/upper respiratory problems my whole life, but she quit when she was pregnant with my sister (1980), and my sister has no pulmonary problems. She did resume smoking after my sister's birth and we were both terribly colicky babies and I assume that it was due (at least in part) to the smoking. I can vividly remember riding in the car with my mom and she would crack the window and smoke and I would cry and beg her to stop. It was so awful!!!! I recently heard that a law was passed here in California that bans parents from smoking in cars with children (I think it's under 16 years of age).

My mom didn't realize how harmful it was for us until years later and eventually she stopped smoking around us and ultimately quit smoking, but the damage was done for me. There is a good chance I will develop COPD later in life, despite never having smoked and I suffer with respiratory problems daily. It's not something I would have chosen for myself. With all the knowledge we have today regarding the harmful effects of smoking, it just goes to show how powerfully addictive of a drug it is that people can't quit despite all the risks!!!

 

[momhappy]

It's something that I find disgusting and always have, however I have also heard that suddenly quitting cigarettes can be very traumatic and stressful due to the nicotine withdrawals for the fetus. I also have a friend who quit during her first pregnancy but smoked during her second and she said that the difference was like night and day when it came to her stress levels, so there may be something to that (obviously not saying here that smoking is good during pregnancy at all).

Even in my metal-punk days before I turned 20 I found it disgusting; I would see the girlfriends of guys in the scene, smoking and drinking at venues. I still remember that despite the fact I'd go out for a week at a time in the same clothes, boots and leather jacket (also usable as pillow and blanket), take copious amounts of drugs/drink and meet many like minded people at the events - when it came to women smoking when pregnant? I was about as striaght edge as it comes

There is no evidence to suggest that suddenly quitting smoking during pregnancy can cause any harm to a fetus. As soon as a woman stops smoking, a fetus immediately receives more oxygen & less carbon monoxide (not to mention it decreases the chances of pregnancy-related complications, reduces the risk of low birth weight, reduces the risk of SIDS, etc.).
Also, I can sort of understand how someone might feel that smoking reduces their stress levels, but what happens inside the body is actually the opposite. Smoking speeds up heart rate and increases blood pressure....
The benefits of quitting smoking would faaarrrrrr outweigh either of those arguments IMO. I understand that you weren't advocating for smoking during pregnancy, jordyonbass, but I just wanted to respond to your comments

 

[katharath]

I do hope it didn't sound like I think this is okay. I absolutely think it's an awful thing.

The fact is that I feel sympathy for women who have to deal with this and have a hard time. The two women I personally know who smoked and then tried to quit while pregnant really tried their best. Both cut down from 1-2 packs a day to 1-3 cigarettes total per day. I know they both struggled and worried a lot about this. I know they both felt bad and wanted the best for their kids.

I'm not condoning it at all. I certainly didn't do it. I admit that when I see a woman smoking while obviously pg, my initial thoughts are NOT kind. But then I try to remind myself that A) it's none of my business and B) I don't know their personal circumstances.

On another note, I've seen my DH struggle with quitting smoking for YEARS now, and he's one of the strongest people I know. He's incredibly hardworking, loyal, honest, etc etc. He started smoking when he was in the military bc "everybody else did it"; since then it's been 20 years, and he has "quit" smoking at least 5 times. Several times he's gone a couple of years without smoking at all. But the habit always starts creeping back up on him. There are various excuses as to why, some of them more valid than others IMO; I won't go into all of that. My point is simply that it's such a horribly addictive habit that even some of the best, strongest willed people I know have a hell of a hard time beating it. (And of course, DH has never smoked in the house, our cars, or in front of our kids. EVER).

I just have sympathy for those who are trying their hardest to kick the habit.

For women who drink excessively while pg, or don't even try to quit smoking while pg - well no, I don't feel sympathetic towards them. That's pretty disgusting.

 

[chemgirl]

I wish that smoking wasn't a thing. It's awful and I feel for anyone trying to quit, including pregnant women. I can see how it would be especially hard to quit after finding out you're pregnant.

That said, I'm a really judgy person, so if I saw a pregnant woman smoking I wouldn't initially go to a sympathetic place. I would think the worse of her even if that isn't a fair assessment.

It's just such a horrible thing. Sure, some people smoke through pregnancy and have perfectly healthy babies, but some don't. We know that people born during famin have higher probability of certain cancers, heart disease etc nomatter what their lifestyle and diet later in life. Gene expression is so complex, it's not worth the risk.

 

[momhappy]

^But people can be addicted to alcohol too, katharath, so I don't understand why you might feel sorry for someone who smokes during pregnancy, but you don't feel sorry for someone who drinks (excessively) during pregnancy? I get that addictions can be tough to quit, but I don't feel sorry for someone who smokes or drinks during pregnancy - I feel sorry for the fetus....

 

[packrat]

Unsympathetic. It's a choice. Nobody holds a gun to anyone's head and makes them start smoking and especially now in 2015 moreso than say back in the 1970's, people know what's what w/smoking. I smoked for many years, 2-3 packs a day. It's hard to quit. I get that.

 

[diamondringlover]

I am not a fan, I quit smoking and drinking the day I found out I was pregnant with my first child..both made me physically sick so it was easier for me then others, I never took up smoking again, I hate the smell of cigarettes...now if the same true with drinking lol...I have a good friend who smoked thru both her pregnancies and both kids are fine, they are now 25 & 29..

 

[Niel]

I'm not sympathetic on the 3rd pregnancy.

Why not stop after the first child? Why, if you won't quite, keep ttc?

My husband wouldn't let me have a child and smoke. And I don't think this is a "my body my rules " situation. It's just as much his child as mine, and the fact that he just wants a healthy baby I think he has every right to make that request/demand.

This is why I find it odd that his husband both doesn't mine, and openly admits to her habbit.