Partying FB photos: acceptable or not?

[Stephny691]

I haven't read any response so just posting and running to lunch.


Totally acceptable. FB to me is where I posted funny, stupid or whatever the heck I want things. It does not define me nor does it show everything about my work ethic or personal ethics. I think half the photos on there now are from when i was in college and partying. My 19 year cousin has tons of photos where she has a beer in hand (she also lives in a country where the drinking age is 1. Is that saying she is irresponsible? Are you now judging her photos based off her holding a beer and being underage though it was perfectly legal at the time?

For me judging someone by what they put on social media is just silly. I think most people have completely different personalities or perhaps the word is persona, online then they do in person. I would never make a final decision on a person's character until I have met them and decided for myself. I partied hard in my younger days and really don't make any apologies for it. It was a fantastic time

Ahh to read that after posting what I did made me feel better lol! I spose that's a good way to think about it.

 

[monarch64]

I haven't read any response so just posting and running to lunch.


Totally acceptable. FB to me is where I posted funny, stupid or whatever the heck I want things. It does not define me nor does it show everything about my work ethic or personal ethics. I think half the photos on there now are from when i was in college and partying. My 19 year cousin has tons of photos where she has a beer in hand (she also lives in a country where the drinking age is 1. Is that saying she is irresponsible? Are you now judging her photos based off her holding a beer and being underage though it was perfectly legal at the time?

For me judging someone by what they put on social media is just silly. I think most people have completely different personalities or perhaps the word is persona, online then they do in person. I would never make a final decision on a person's character until I have met them and decided for myself. I partied hard in my younger days and really don't make any apologies for it. It was a fantastic time

Is it wrong to judge others by what they post on social media? Maybe. But when we're talking about using it as a screening tool when hiring a person to care for your children I think it's ok to be judgmental. That said, I don't make apologies for what I did in my youth, but I'm not posting #TBT of my spring breaks or snapshots of myself out on my 21st birthday. We have a very good friend who is a former CFO (banking) who posts 2-3x/week about drinking alcohol. Now, at this point in his life it's very good whisky and fine wine, but it's still a bit over the top and I don't really take him seriously even though he's at least 20 years my senior. He's "the party guy" not the guy I would trust with my money. Young people who post lots of partying pics are "the party people" not people I'd trust with my children.

 

[chrono]

I wish I can say it's acceptable but when it is now commonplace for employers to screen potential candidates based on what is posted on their social media, I prefer to play it safe and post absolutely nothing that would be deemed as questionable, in addition to locking down security to its highest level (only direct friends can view).

 

[SB621]

I haven't read any response so just posting and running to lunch.


Totally acceptable. FB to me is where I posted funny, stupid or whatever the heck I want things. It does not define me nor does it show everything about my work ethic or personal ethics. I think half the photos on there now are from when i was in college and partying. My 19 year cousin has tons of photos where she has a beer in hand (she also lives in a country where the drinking age is 1. Is that saying she is irresponsible? Are you now judging her photos based off her holding a beer and being underage though it was perfectly legal at the time?

For me judging someone by what they put on social media is just silly. I think most people have completely different personalities or perhaps the word is persona, online then they do in person. I would never make a final decision on a person's character until I have met them and decided for myself. I partied hard in my younger days and really don't make any apologies for it. It was a fantastic time

Is it wrong to judge others by what they post on social media? Maybe. But when we're talking about using it as a screening tool when hiring a person to care for your children I think it's ok to be judgmental. That said, I don't make apologies for what I did in my youth, but I'm not posting #TBT of my spring breaks or snapshots of myself out on my 21st birthday. We have a very good friend who is a former CFO (banking) who posts 2-3x/week about drinking alcohol. Now, at this point in his life it's very good whisky and fine wine, but it's still a bit over the top and I don't really take him seriously even though he's at least 20 years my senior. He's "the party guy" not the guy I would trust with my money. Young people who post lots of partying pics are "the party people" not people I'd trust with my children.

I guess my point is. Why should it matter to you what they do in their free time? We had a neighbor not to long ago who had a teen daughter. They whole family was great. She was very polite, went to church where she sang in the choir, on FB she often posted inspirational sayings and her sewing projects. Comes out she has a horrible heroin addiction and is in rehab. I never let her babysit my kids, because when I met her I thought there was always something off. Never could say what, but I knew something was just wrong.

I get that you are seeing if FB or whatever social media sight will allow you to see a glimpse of that person's life so you can make a better, or more informed decision on who is watching your children. But I really think that nothing will beat meeting that person and deciding for yourself what sort of character they have. If we had used FB, we never would have hired our nanny based off some of her pictures on FB. She has a wild streak in her, but she was beyond the best person for our kids! We loved her and she is now practically a member of our family. we will always stay in touch with her (yes probably on FB ) . So while pictures might caught me to raise an eyebrow, it would not cause me to not interview the candidate...but that is just me.

 

[msop04]

I agree with justginger and a few others in that I think it's acceptable to post whatever you want on social media... BUT you may receive backlash due to posting. It's just up to the person if they're willing to subject themselves to such. My younger sister is a teacher, and she absolutely cannot have ANY photos of her where alcohol is in her hand or she is "impaired". This also goes for "partying/risque photos" and bad language. She works with children, so that's understandable. She also has very strict privacy settings and will not allow students or parents to "friend" her... just too risky. This is another reason that I will not list the company for which I work. It's just too risky these days...

Unfortunately, there are those who are just looking for something to judge someone negatively over (I know everyone knows a few -- maybe more)... social media gives them easy access to do so if questionable content/photos are posted. I have found that those who continually speak of how "tolerant/not judgemental" they are tend to be the worst offenders. Technically, I know we judge all day, mostly subcontiously, but when I speak of this, I am referring to those who take every opportunity to do so knowingly and in a negative way.

 

[msop04]

I guess my point is. Why should it matter to you what they do in their free time? We had a neighbor not to long ago who had a teen daughter. They whole family was great. She was very polite, went to church where she sang in the choir, on FB she often posted inspirational sayings and her sewing projects. Comes out she has a horrible heroin addiction and is in rehab. I never let her babysit my kids, because when I met her I thought there was always something off. Never could say what, but I knew something was just wrong.

I get that you are seeing if FB or whatever social media sight will allow you to see a glimpse of that person's life so you can make a better, or more informed decision on who is watching your children. But I really think that nothing will beat meeting that person and deciding for yourself what sort of character they have. If we had used FB, we never would have hired our nanny based off some of her pictures on FB. She has a wild streak in her, but she was beyond the best person for our kids! We loved her and she is now practically a member of our family. we will always stay in touch with her (yes probably on FB ) . So while pictures might caught me to raise an eyebrow, it would not cause me to not interview the candidate...but that is just me.

SB, this is soooo true... I wish it always went down this way!!

(...from a former wild streak person)

 

[JewelFreak]

I agree w/SB about not making final judgments either way based on photos. What you see in person & others' recommendations is more basic, though some people can fool you -- con artists make a career of it.

You're right too, msop, that so many love to judge others & any little handle will do.

The one thing you can't control is photos taken of you by other people who post them on their pages. If it's a group shot with themselves in it, how can you do anything about it? Sad fact is that almost everything we do is public these days.

I read the other day that the FBI is going to use face recognition software not only when looking for criminals, but on regular people on FB & similar sites. And store the images. If that's true, how's that for a scary government? Run for office 15 yrs later, report a story they dislike in any media...they can search back & discredit you with some stupid picture taken forever ago.

I'm not on FB for this reason, as well as that my life isn't interesting enough to post. I can see it now: "Here's me with my butt in the air, pulling weeds in the garden." "Eating a hamburger." "Walking the dog." Thrill a minute!

--- Laurie

 

[msop04]

I agree w/SB about not making final judgments either way based on photos. What you see in person & others' recommendations is more basic, though some people can fool you -- con artists make a career of it.

You're right too, msop, that so many love to judge others & any little handle will do.

The one thing you can't control is photos taken of you by other people who post them on their pages. If it's a group shot with themselves in it, how can you do anything about it? Sad fact is that almost everything we do is public these days.

I read the other day that the FBI is going to use face recognition software not only when looking for criminals, but on regular people on FB & similar sites. And store the images. If that's true, how's that for a scary government? Run for office 15 yrs later, report a story they dislike in any media...they can search back & discredit you with some stupid picture taken forever ago.I'm not on FB for this reason, as well as that my life isn't interesting enough to post. I can see it now: "Here's me with my butt in the air, pulling weeds in the garden." "Eating a hamburger." "Walking the dog." Thrill a minute!

--- Laurie

This is true... The other part is very scary...

 

[SB621]

I guess my point is. Why should it matter to you what they do in their free time? We had a neighbor not to long ago who had a teen daughter. They whole family was great. She was very polite, went to church where she sang in the choir, on FB she often posted inspirational sayings and her sewing projects. Comes out she has a horrible heroin addiction and is in rehab. I never let her babysit my kids, because when I met her I thought there was always something off. Never could say what, but I knew something was just wrong.

I get that you are seeing if FB or whatever social media sight will allow you to see a glimpse of that person's life so you can make a better, or more informed decision on who is watching your children. But I really think that nothing will beat meeting that person and deciding for yourself what sort of character they have. If we had used FB, we never would have hired our nanny based off some of her pictures on FB. She has a wild streak in her, but she was beyond the best person for our kids! We loved her and she is now practically a member of our family. we will always stay in touch with her (yes probably on FB ) . So while pictures might caught me to raise an eyebrow, it would not cause me to not interview the candidate...but that is just me.

SB, this is soooo true... I wish it always went down this way!!

(...from a former wild streak person)

It's my tree hugging, granola crunchy roots coming out! I have always been a bit of a free spirit...far from a saint but never a bad person. I might have done some crazy things in my youth and I turned out just fine. I had ppl that judged me and others who did not....I'm a much happier person when I decided to model ( or at least try too) my life from those who gave me a chance.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Just wanted to add that I am sure that anyone screening babysitters by looking at FB is doing just that, an initial screening. It is no different than the way we screen diamonds here. We may eliminate some good ones, but seeing bad numbers just makes it easy to narrow down the list at the outset. You DO have to see the diamond in person to be sure it is the one. For a babysitter, references and interviewing the person would be #1, obviously. There are definitely kids I have seen through my teen daughter's FB that I'd never hire as a babysitter!

 

[monarch64]

I see both sides of the coin, I really do. Here is another reason we appreciate those who exercise restraint when it comes to posting "fun" pics online: both of our sitters were born and raised in our community. Both of them are engaged (or will be engaged soon) to young men with whom they plan to have a family with and raise their own kids here. They will be taking care of our daughter for at least the next several years. So, when our daughter is 6 or 7 years old, and she starts asking to look at Facebook, etc. I would really like it if she weren't subjected to her sitters (to whom she looks up and admires already and wants to IMITATE) pictures of themselves doing keg stands and looking stoned. Impressions are formed at a really young age. What you can't see in those pictures is how these people got home from the party. We live in a Big 10 university town and it's a HUGE party atmosphere, even more so than where I went to college. Kids die every year from alcohol-related accidents. Hell, Lauren Spierer, who was allowed to drink at a bar even though she was underage and clearly intoxicated to the point of not being able to stand up by herself, is still missing, 3 years later (June 3 is the date of her disappearance.) One of my dance instructors died in a drunk driving accident when she was 15, and that devastated me. I was 6 years old. Kids that are dying now aren't even getting into cars drunk anymore, which is great, but they're falling down stairs, out of windows, and off of balconies at parties.

I love to drink. I love tying one on with our friends, and we take lots of pictures. We just don't post those publicly for the whole world to see, because really, who is that supposed to impress? No one cares!

 

[SB621]

I see both sides of the coin, I really do. Here is another reason we appreciate those who exercise restraint when it comes to posting "fun" pics online: both of our sitters were born and raised in our community. Both of them are engaged (or will be engaged soon) to young men with whom they plan to have a family with and raise their own kids here. They will be taking care of our daughter for at least the next several years. So, when our daughter is 6 or 7 years old, and she starts asking to look at Facebook, etc. I would really like it if she weren't subjected to her sitters (to whom she looks up and admires already and wants to IMITATE) pictures of themselves doing keg stands and looking stoned. Impressions are formed at a really young age. What you can't see in those pictures is how these people got home from the party. We live in a Big 10 university town and it's a HUGE party atmosphere, even more so than where I went to college. Kids die every year from alcohol-related accidents. Hell, Lauren Spierer, who was allowed to drink at a bar even though she was underage and clearly intoxicated to the point of not being able to stand up by herself, is still missing, 3 years later (June 3 is the date of her disappearance.) One of my dance instructors died in a drunk driving accident when she was 15, and that devastated me. I was 6 years old. Kids that are dying now aren't even getting into cars drunk anymore, which is great, but they're falling down stairs, out of windows, and off of balconies at parties.

I love to drink. I love tying one on with our friends, and we take lots of pictures. We just don't post those publicly for the whole world to see, because really, who is that supposed to impress? No one cares!

Wise words, and I agree 100% with alot of what you wrote out. But once again I would cut teens slack. I know as a 30 something year old mother I appreciate what you wrote out and it makes perfect sense. At 16 I wouldn't have known better then not posting on FB all my silly antics.

 

[ruby59]

I am older, having grown up before the Internet, so I may be a little jaded in my response. But having 3 children coming of age and one by one entering the work field, I can say that for many employers, inappropriate pictures can hurt your chances of finding that dream job or moving up within the company. My son who has recently been appointed to manager knows of incidences where candidates have been denied a job because of informations found on the Internet. Some companies do have very strong moral codes. And an indiscretion (sp), even as a youth, can and will follow you forever, as the Web is permanent.

I have always told mine never post anything yo would be embrarrassed for your dad and me to see.

 

[monarch64]

I see both sides of the coin, I really do. Here is another reason we appreciate those who exercise restraint when it comes to posting "fun" pics online: both of our sitters were born and raised in our community. Both of them are engaged (or will be engaged soon) to young men with whom they plan to have a family with and raise their own kids here. They will be taking care of our daughter for at least the next several years. So, when our daughter is 6 or 7 years old, and she starts asking to look at Facebook, etc. I would really like it if she weren't subjected to her sitters (to whom she looks up and admires already and wants to IMITATE) pictures of themselves doing keg stands and looking stoned. Impressions are formed at a really young age. What you can't see in those pictures is how these people got home from the party. We live in a Big 10 university town and it's a HUGE party atmosphere, even more so than where I went to college. Kids die every year from alcohol-related accidents. Hell, Lauren Spierer, who was allowed to drink at a bar even though she was underage and clearly intoxicated to the point of not being able to stand up by herself, is still missing, 3 years later (June 3 is the date of her disappearance.) One of my dance instructors died in a drunk driving accident when she was 15, and that devastated me. I was 6 years old. Kids that are dying now aren't even getting into cars drunk anymore, which is great, but they're falling down stairs, out of windows, and off of balconies at parties.

I love to drink. I love tying one on with our friends, and we take lots of pictures. We just don't post those publicly for the whole world to see, because really, who is that supposed to impress? No one cares!

Wise words, and I agree 100% with alot of what you wrote out. But once again I would cut teens slack. I know as a 30 something year old mother I appreciate what you wrote out and it makes perfect sense. At 16 I wouldn't have known better then not posting on FB all my silly antics.

Thanks, SB. I don't think I'm FB friends with anyone younger than 18-19, so there's the slack, ha ha! Seriously, though, I get what you (and others) are saying. I think there is a middle ground here--people with my stance should be more forgiving/accepting, and people who like to post fun pics should make sure they're only visible to those with whom they truly want to share.

 

[aljdewey]

Acceptable? Yes, of course.
Smart? Not necessarily.
Guaranteed to be judgment-free and not used to disqualify you from opportunities or jobs? Nope.

Most employers (whether they are corporations or people hiring babysitters) are considering social media to screen. Knowing that, it's probably not realistic to expect people who know nothing about you yet (other than the content/photos you post) to give any kind of benefit of doubt.

This isn't necessarily new to social media, either - SM has just made it easier. The company I worked for straight out of college was a 2200-person Teamster operation; they had a staff of 3 who did nothing but clip police logs and court rolls from newspapers in all the states they operated in to use as a giant 'cross reference' database of sorts. Their premise was "who you list as a reference says a lot about you." If you gave a reference who was convicted of DUI several times, guess what? Probably not likely to get the job.

 

[momhappy]

I haven't read any response so just posting and running to lunch.


Totally acceptable. FB to me is where I posted funny, stupid or whatever the heck I want things. It does not define me nor does it show everything about my work ethic or personal ethics. I think half the photos on there now are from when i was in college and partying. My 19 year cousin has tons of photos where she has a beer in hand (she also lives in a country where the drinking age is 1. Is that saying she is irresponsible? Are you now judging her photos based off her holding a beer and being underage though it was perfectly legal at the time?

For me judging someone by what they put on social media is just silly. I think most people have completely different personalities or perhaps the word is persona, online then they do in person. I would never make a final decision on a person's character until I have met them and decided for myself. I partied hard in my younger days and really don't make any apologies for it. It was a fantastic time

Is it wrong to judge others by what they post on social media? Maybe. But when we're talking about using it as a screening tool when hiring a person to care for your children I think it's ok to be judgmental. That said, I don't make apologies for what I did in my youth, but I'm not posting #TBT of my spring breaks or snapshots of myself out on my 21st birthday. We have a very good friend who is a former CFO (banking) who posts 2-3x/week about drinking alcohol. Now, at this point in his life it's very good whisky and fine wine, but it's still a bit over the top and I don't really take him seriously even though he's at least 20 years my senior. He's "the party guy" not the guy I would trust with my money. Young people who post lots of partying pics are "the party people" not people I'd trust with my children.

I guess my point is. Why should it matter to you what they do in their free time? We had a neighbor not to long ago who had a teen daughter. They whole family was great. She was very polite, went to church where she sang in the choir, on FB she often posted inspirational sayings and her sewing projects. Comes out she has a horrible heroin addiction and is in rehab. I never let her babysit my kids, because when I met her I thought there was always something off. Never could say what, but I knew something was just wrong.

I get that you are seeing if FB or whatever social media sight will allow you to see a glimpse of that person's life so you can make a better, or more informed decision on who is watching your children. But I really think that nothing will beat meeting that person and deciding for yourself what sort of character they have. If we had used FB, we never would have hired our nanny based off some of her pictures on FB. She has a wild streak in her, but she was beyond the best person for our kids! We loved her and she is now practically a member of our family. we will always stay in touch with her (yes probably on FB ) . So while pictures might caught me to raise an eyebrow, it would not cause me to not interview the candidate...but that is just me.

But if I have a slew of candidates for a babysitting position, why do I need more than a glimpse to start making decisions? It's the same for any employment opportunity - potential candidates get weeded out for various reasons and you move on to the next candidate. Employers have to make judgement calls about potential candidates and not everyone makes the cut. I don't have time to interview 20 college students for a babysitting position. After I check FB, talk to them on the phone, read basic background checks, email, etc I go with my gut and interview a select few. If so-and-so has drunk pictures on FB, then I move on to the next candidate (and that's the price you pay for not being more careful about what you post on social media - our actions have consequences). If I only had a handful of candidates, then it might be different, but that's just not the case - there are oodles of qualified sitters looking for a job. If you found a nanny doing it your way that was a good fit for you & your family, great! I have found lots of great sitters doing it my way, so to each their own

 

[JewelFreak]

But once again I would cut teens slack. I know as a 30 something year old mother I appreciate what you wrote out and it makes perfect sense. At 16 I wouldn't have known better then not posting on FB all my silly antics.

Thank God there was no internet when I was 16 or 25. I could be hell on wheels in those days! SB says it -- I wouldn't have had the sense not to post stupid things, even worse, my friends would have done so too. Geeze, it would still be up there now. In my teens it is unlikely -- no, impossible -- that I would have believed my parents if they'd warned me to be careful of what I put up. I knew everything then!

The sad fact is that we have to live in the world that is, and though there are good points on each side, the internet will figure in people's judgments all your life. You can't post something you'll want someday to leave behind.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Personally I would never post any photo I would be embarrassed to show my mother. That is for both for personal and professional reasons. I kinda of think if someone is going to post photos on the internet it is fair game for people to judge. Like it or not that's just the way human nature works.

 

[Sparklelu]

I haven't read any response so just posting and running to lunch.


Totally acceptable. FB to me is where I posted funny, stupid or whatever the heck I want things. It does not define me nor does it show everything about my work ethic or personal ethics. I think half the photos on there now are from when i was in college and partying. My 19 year cousin has tons of photos where she has a beer in hand (she also lives in a country where the drinking age is 1. Is that saying she is irresponsible? Are you now judging her photos based off her holding a beer and being underage though it was perfectly legal at the time?

For me judging someone by what they put on social media is just silly. I think most people have completely different personalities or perhaps the word is persona, online then they do in person. I would never make a final decision on a person's character until I have met them and decided for myself. I partied hard in my younger days and really don't make any apologies for it. It was a fantastic time

Ahh to read that after posting what I did made me feel better lol! I spose that's a good way to think about it.

Unfortunately what you think about what you are posting is not what is real. The sad reality is you ARE judged by what you put on FB,twitter, instagram, vine, etc....
People do judge and make decisions based on what you post about yourself. It actually does define you, to the folks on FB or wherever. It is your persona that you are presenting to the world, if its all drinking, partying and scantily clad, then that is what we think of you.
If it is all about GMO's and organic food and working out 24/7 that is the you we will think is you.
If you are always whining about your boss and FML then we believe that is your view.

If what you are posting is all BS and gets misinterpreted then you have no one else to blame.
There are consequences for posting stuff online,stuff that can and has cost people jobs and whether you think it's stupid or not it is fact.
Colleges are requesting FB passwords, acceptance to the school contingent on the school deeming the student appropriate for the school. I have personally heard of 4 new college grads asked by prospective employers for a look at their FB or other social media sites. An NYPD Sargent was reprimanded because he posted a mildly derogatory comment on his personal FB page about his encounter with a arrested citizen.

Kids get suspended from school for what they post

 

[momhappy]

Personally I would never post any photo I would be embarrassed to show my mother. That is for both for personal and professional reasons. I kinda of think if someone is going to post photos on the internet it is fair game for people to judge. Like it or not that's just the way human nature works.

Yes, and it's not just human nature, it's a practical approach when hiring someone. If someone applies for a job, they are judged for all sorts of things: education, experience, how they answer questions, how they dress, heck, even how they shake hands… It's about employment/hiring practices and it's more efficient to weed people out who may not be a good fit. Is it possible to miss out on a good candidate simply because you've ruled them out for some images on FB (or something else that sends the wrong message about them)? Of course, but chances are, there's not just one good fit (there's any number of people that would be successful at any given job). I've had plenty of awesome, amazing babysitters over the years and some of them are still a part of our family in some ways and I'm quite certain that there will be more to come (even as I weed out the ones with drunk pictures on FB, or the ones who don't return emails, or the ones who show up 20 minutes late for an interview, etc.).

 

[Sky56]

It depends on the circumstances; frequency of posting, etc. I have a family member whose pictures they post of themselves 99% of the time: either a drink in their hand or a drink visible and you can tell they're drunk by the look on the face. I deduce that they drink too much. This person is a nice person who behaves in a way that's never offended me, but I see them drinking frequently when I am around them, too. Enough to worry about them and their health. I think FB posts often reflect true reality.