Richard Sherwood
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2002
- Messages
- 4,924
My brother-in-law and his wife are old time hippies and pot smokers. They come down to Florida twice a year, and host a spaghetti dinner for me and my kids, the youngest of which is 19 now.
She recently told me that last year, after I went home, the in-laws said "All right, let's break out the weed!", and proceeded to smoke pot in front of my kids.
Now, bear in mind that my kids were 35, 28, 25 and 18 at the time. The way I look at it, if my older kids want to smoke pot with them, I don't have much say in it.
But my youngest daughter, 18 at the time, told me that her aunt-in-law (is there such a term?) said, "Come on, smoke with us", in trying to get my youngest to join her in partaking of the weed.
Now my daughter doesn't drink, doesn't smoke. She's a college girl, with drive and amibition which reminds me of her mother. She begged off, basically feeling like the odd person out, as almost the entire group (several other friends of the in-laws in attendance) partook.
But she adores this couple, who are the brother (and his wife) of my deceased wife. Both of them are fun loving, happy people that my kids love. Part of the reason they love them is because they have so much history with their mother, and they love to hear all the stories of "back in the day". They are a connection to my kids with their mother, like a portal looking back in time. My kids hang on their every word about their mother.
I also like the couple, and don't want to cause a family split. But I feel like they stepped over the line here. I feel like their behaviour is totally inappropriate. I'm really upset that they tried to get my precious daughter to partake with them. (I found out later that their own 18 year old son smokes with them).
So basically I'm feeling that this couple, who should be a role model for their son and my kids, are out-of-control in this area. My daughter told me all this in confidence, and would be horrified if I made a scene. But truthfully, I feel like going over there and shaking them and slapping them, saying "What are you thinking!" (they're here right now).
Am I over reacting? Am I an old fogie, out of touch? (It seems to me that marijuana will inevitably be legalized, like it almost is in California today). Should I keep quiet about this in the interest of maintaining family relations? Or should I call them out on it, at the expense of alienating my daughter by divulging something she told me in confidence?
She recently told me that last year, after I went home, the in-laws said "All right, let's break out the weed!", and proceeded to smoke pot in front of my kids.
Now, bear in mind that my kids were 35, 28, 25 and 18 at the time. The way I look at it, if my older kids want to smoke pot with them, I don't have much say in it.
But my youngest daughter, 18 at the time, told me that her aunt-in-law (is there such a term?) said, "Come on, smoke with us", in trying to get my youngest to join her in partaking of the weed.
Now my daughter doesn't drink, doesn't smoke. She's a college girl, with drive and amibition which reminds me of her mother. She begged off, basically feeling like the odd person out, as almost the entire group (several other friends of the in-laws in attendance) partook.
But she adores this couple, who are the brother (and his wife) of my deceased wife. Both of them are fun loving, happy people that my kids love. Part of the reason they love them is because they have so much history with their mother, and they love to hear all the stories of "back in the day". They are a connection to my kids with their mother, like a portal looking back in time. My kids hang on their every word about their mother.
I also like the couple, and don't want to cause a family split. But I feel like they stepped over the line here. I feel like their behaviour is totally inappropriate. I'm really upset that they tried to get my precious daughter to partake with them. (I found out later that their own 18 year old son smokes with them).
So basically I'm feeling that this couple, who should be a role model for their son and my kids, are out-of-control in this area. My daughter told me all this in confidence, and would be horrified if I made a scene. But truthfully, I feel like going over there and shaking them and slapping them, saying "What are you thinking!" (they're here right now).
Am I over reacting? Am I an old fogie, out of touch? (It seems to me that marijuana will inevitably be legalized, like it almost is in California today). Should I keep quiet about this in the interest of maintaining family relations? Or should I call them out on it, at the expense of alienating my daughter by divulging something she told me in confidence?
.... Not okay. Aside from that... they are your friends/family and she was in their care as a result of your, and your wife's trust.... she's your child they abused your trust, and hers, and probably if you want to take it there... the trust your late wife had in them for her child's care. 
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