Now I really did it :((

[Andelain]

Your leg looks surprisingly good considering what it's been through. Hang tough, you're doing better than you think.

More dust headed your way!

 

[iLander]

Ouch! That looks so hurty! I'm glad you're doing better, Missy.

Did they ever figure out what the throat burning, etc., was all about? I confess, I didn't read through your posts.

 

[Calliecake]

Hi Missy, Are you doing okay honey? Your leg still looks so sore but don't worry about the swelling. The swelling will go down. You will also go back to your old life. Please remember all of this is fixable. The older I get I realize that's the most important thing. It's only natural that you are going to have times where all this gets you. Sometimes a good cry is just what you need. You are a very strong person and you will get thru this. You're going to have to take it on day at a time for a bit. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help make any of this easier for you.

I know you're upset about your job and believe me when I say I understand completely where you are coming from. Been there myself on the job thing. Remember you are so much more than a job and there will always be another job. I so wish we could sit down over a cup of coffee and have a real conversation.

Missy, I apologize. I am terrible about putting my thoughts on paper. I sincerely hope you know that I'm here for you and truly want to do anything I can to help you.

 

[monarch64]

Missy, I was thinking about you today when my ankle started throbbing inside out of nowhere. I'm 13 years post-break and every now and then, especially with a weather change, my ankle still aches or throbs. It's a weird reminder of that time in my life. It also prompted me to come check your thread.

I haven't had any issues not being able to do things that I normally would. In 2006, I walked 40 miles in one weekend for a breast cancer awareness fundraiser. I've worn 3-4" heels for all these years. I hike or walk trails here often, I paddle a little bit when I have time. In general, it just hasn't affected my physical activity. You've been through a huge physical trauma and a big shock mentally and emotionally. It's normal to question whether things will change forever because you've never done this before. You have to experience it all for yourself and come out on the other side to really know that you will be ok. You're doing it, though, and you're doing great.

 

[missy]

Your leg looks surprisingly good considering what it's been through. Hang tough, you're doing better than you think.

More dust headed your way!

Thank you very much Andelain. Hanging tough is a good way to describe it. I have to as there is no other choice as much as I so just want to crawl into a corner and hide like kitties do when they are in pain. I just want to make it all go away but I know with time I will heal and improve and I just need to be patient and hope for the best.

Ouch! That looks so hurty! I'm glad you're doing better, Missy.

Did they ever figure out what the throat burning, etc., was all about? I confess, I didn't read through your posts.

Hi iLander, they never did figure it out the cause of the back/arms and chest burning though I think it has to be related to the esophagitis I had in February and they never determined that cause either. Fortunately the chest squeezing was most likely due to the PPI's the doctors prescribed for the esophagitis because a month or so after I stopped it that symptom went away and after some research it appears that PPI's can have that effect. The burning comes and goes and I am praying it stays away or at least to a minimal right now as I have a lot on my proverbial plate. Quite enough at the moment thank you.

 

[Calliecake]

Missy, I was thinking about you today when my ankle started throbbing inside out of nowhere. I'm 13 years post-break and every now and then, especially with a weather change, my ankle still aches or throbs. It's a weird reminder of that time in my life. It also prompted me to come check your thread.

I haven't had any issues not being able to do things that I normally would. In 2006, I walked 40 miles in one weekend for a breast cancer awareness fundraiser. I've worn 3-4" heels for all these years. I hike or walk trails here often, I paddle a little bit when I have time. In general, it just hasn't affected my physical activity. You've been through a huge physical trauma and a big shock mentally and emotionally. It's normal to question whether things will change forever because you've never done this before. You have to experience it all for yourself and come out on the other side to really know that you will be ok. You're doing it, though, and you're doing great.

Monnie, Your posts are always the best! Thank you for always knowing the perfect and helpful thing to say.

Missy, I see a 40 mile bike ride in your future. Can we come to watch and cheer you on when you do it.

 

[missy]

Hi Missy, Are you doing okay honey? Your leg still looks so sore but don't worry about the swelling. The swelling will go down. You will also go back to your old life. Please remember all of this is fixable. The older I get I realize that's the most important thing. It's only natural that you are going to have times where all this gets you. Sometimes a good cry is just what you need. You are a very strong person and you will get thru this. You're going to have to take it on day at a time for a bit. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help make any of this easier for you.

I know you're upset about your job and believe me when I say I understand completely where you are coming from. Been there myself on the job thing. Remember you are so much more than a job and there will always be another job. I so wish we could sit down over a cup of coffee and have a real conversation.

Missy, I apologize. I am terrible about putting my thoughts on paper. I sincerely hope you know that I'm here for you and truly want to do anything I can to help you.

Dear Callie, please there is no need for you to apologize. You are keeping me sane honestly you are. And you are wonderful at putting your thoughts to word because you always speak from the heart and it always calms me and makes me feel better. Big hugs for all you have done for me here. My words cannot accurately express how much you mean to me and all I can say is thank you and let you know how much your kindness means to me.

One day at a time. I will just keep repeating that when it feels so overwhelming which it truly does at this moment. I keep reliving the whole accident and it feels surreal. And I keep hearing the doctor say I will not regain full function because my leg is not the same. But then I say one day at a time and I will get through it. And I know I will. (((Hugs))) and thank you for being here for me Callie.

 

[missy]

Missy, I was thinking about you today when my ankle started throbbing inside out of nowhere. I'm 13 years post-break and every now and then, especially with a weather change, my ankle still aches or throbs. It's a weird reminder of that time in my life. It also prompted me to come check your thread.

I haven't had any issues not being able to do things that I normally would. In 2006, I walked 40 miles in one weekend for a breast cancer awareness fundraiser. I've worn 3-4" heels for all these years. I hike or walk trails here often, I paddle a little bit when I have time. In general, it just hasn't affected my physical activity. You've been through a huge physical trauma and a big shock mentally and emotionally. It's normal to question whether things will change forever because you've never done this before. You have to experience it all for yourself and come out on the other side to really know that you will be ok. You're doing it, though, and you're doing great.

That is so great to hear Monnie and I am thrilled for you. 40 miles woohoo way to go and for an amazing cause! And happy news that you can still do everything you used to do before your accident. The doctor did say I will develop arthritis there more quickly and more intensely but only time will tell how that goes.

I know there are a lot of unknown variables and that my attitude and emotional strength will allow me to maximize my results no matter what that might be.

A Pilon fracture is a severe fracture and that is why my doctor is not as optimistic as he would have been with a simple or less severe fracture. I have 3 sizable plates in my leg. It's taking up most of my left calf it seems lol but hey did you see the diamond cutouts in the plates haha. The PA laughed when I pointed that out and I asked him what the OEC stood for at the bottom of the X-rays and he had no clue and never noticed that before. Hmmm I am guessing it does not have to do with diamonds oh well.

Thanks for understanding how I am feeling and for your encouraging post. I really appreciate that.

Monnie, Your posts are always the best! Thank you for always knowing the perfect and helpful thing to say.

Missy, I see a 40 mile bike ride in your future. Can we come to watch and cheer you on when you do it.

LOL well you are all invited. That is for sure. With all the support and great advice I wouldn't want it any other way. Just might need to wait till next summer but it's a date!

 

[Calliecake]

Missy, Your remark about the diamond cut outs and OEC has me smiling. Your sense of humor always comes shining through!!! Better days are coming sweetie!

 

[MissGotRocks]

Well, that was quite a surgery but the incisions look good and I know the swelling will eventually subside. Will they take any of the plates/screws out after the bone heels or will they be there for good?

I am sure it is very frustrating and when people talk in months - it must be a real downer. However, I look at how far you've come in a month since the accident. and know that the healing now does take time. At least you can take this boot off to shower - that must be a glorious feeling! Just being able to remove it for even a short time is a bit more freedom than you had yesterday.

I hope you are able to get more comfortable at night and get some good rest. You've been a trooper - let's hope it just gets easier and easier as the days pass!

 

[missy]

Well, that was quite a surgery but the incisions look good and I know the swelling will eventually subside. Will they take any of the plates/screws out after the bone heels or will they be there for good?

I am sure it is very frustrating and when people talk in months - it must be a real downer. However, I look at how far you've come in a month since the accident. and know that the healing now does take time. At least you can take this boot off to shower - that must be a glorious feeling! Just being able to remove it for even a short time is a bit more freedom than you had yesterday.

I hope you are able to get more comfortable at night and get some good rest. You've been a trooper - let's hope it just gets easier and easier as the days pass!

Thanks MissGotRocks. I know it's good that it's been already a month (almost) since the accident and a bit over 2 weeks since the surgery. It's just overwhelming that I have 5 months of this at least but I know you are right. I will be improving and getting stronger and I know the pain will lessen too with time.

The pain is really getting to me. I am so uncomfortable all of the time and in pain much of that time. Last night I woke up at 2:30 AM and that was it for me. I am not saying this as in poor me but more of an explanation why today was totally overwhelming for me. I just want to see some sort of good end in sight and I know I have to be way more patient.

I am sort of scared to shower without the cast and cover because I still have stitches left in though I think the doctor said it was OK. Am I crazy just to keep it covered till my stitches are removed next Thursday? LOL I know I am driving myself crazy with everything these days. It's just like a vicious cycle. Worrying about work, my recovery process, my outcome, my pain management, my day to day survival, my mental health, the PT etc etc etc.

Thank you for helping me appreciate the bright side. And I know there is a bright side and deep down (it's very deep down though almost hidden right now lol) I know I will be OK. I am just a bit scared and overwhelmed right now and I need to quiet all that negativity and think positive thoughts. And I have an amazing dh and family and friends who are always willing to listen to me cry and love me anyway. I am very appreciative of that and also of everyone at PS who is taking the time and energy to help me through this.

 

[gregchang35]

Hey there, those xrays are quite impressive!
I saw that OEC in the corner as well and thought someone is looking out for you.

You sound like a realist, which is great when facing these situations. Yes, pain can change your perspective on things. However you core self seems quite solid. That shows amazing strength.

We are here for you. We (collectively) have big shoulders. And more importantly- WE HAVE BLING!!! OEC or not!! I wonder if that metal will work well with OEC. Is the metal plated or unplated WG. Hmm some milgrain might make it look better? Maybe if there are some pave set stones in on if them to highlight the split shank could work?

Lots of ideas to play with. Anyone good with photoshop that can help? Maybe some Fcd in a halo right in the corner in the heel area??

 

[Resonance.Of.Life]

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry this happened to you! *hugs* Dust for a quick recovery. The post surgical pictures do not look bad at all, the swelling will go away.

Is there anyway to go on a medical leave of absence from work? At the hospital I work for, you can be on a leave of absence for up to a year (regardless if it's medical or not). A job is not everything, you still have your wonderful husband, your health, and all of us here too to support you.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

I think your leg looks awesome. Inside and out.

I know you prefer other style of boots, but given the circumstances...if the boot fits!

You are on your way. Rest, nourishment, and balanced with activity as you can tolerate: in honor of your body, embrace patience as you will reap the benefits later. And when your time comes to return to your profession, the doors will be open to you since your value is understood. I truly believe that.

I am very happy this thread is part of your recovery--reporting as part of cognitive therapy is excellent and has helped me many times. It's all connected. So are we.

Take back your power: you've had a stinking injury, you've had surgery and are healing. Yes. Moving forward through this--standing, walking, trapsing, gallivanting, trudging, sashaying, strolling, sauntering, crouching, and yes, waltzing, in your own Missy style. How cool is that?

Healing vibes across the miles!

cheers--Sharon

 

[missy]

Hey there, those xrays are quite impressive!
I saw that OEC in the corner as well and thought someone is looking out for you.

You sound like a realist, which is great when facing these situations. Yes, pain can change your perspective on things. However you core self seems quite solid. That shows amazing strength.

We are here for you. We (collectively) have big shoulders. And more importantly- WE HAVE BLING!!! OEC or not!! I wonder if that metal will work well with OEC. Is the metal plated or unplated WG. Hmm some milgrain might make it look better? Maybe if there are some pave set stones in on if them to highlight the split shank could work?

Lots of ideas to play with. Anyone good with photoshop that can help? Maybe some Fcd in a halo right in the corner in the heel area??

Haha, first of all thank you Greg. You made me smile and today that is quite the feat. And thank you also for being part of those big PS shoulders that have been allowing me to vent cry and share all my frustrations and also give me hope. When I asked the PA what the material of the plates in my leg are and he said stainless I immediately though what, not platinum?! Fortunately I kept that thought to myself.

And I do consider myself a realist however a hopeful realist so here's hoping that I can recover all my meaningful functioning.

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry this happened to you! *hugs* Dust for a quick recovery. The post surgical pictures do not look bad at all, the swelling will go away.

Is there anyway to go on a medical leave of absence from work? At the hospital I work for, you can be on a leave of absence for up to a year (regardless if it's medical or not). A job is not everything, you still have your wonderful husband, your health, and all of us here too to support you.

Thanks Resonance of Life. I appreciate that and you are right.
My dh gave me the longest biggest hug (no words) just a short while ago and it really did make me feel better. If the pain wasn't so intense today I would have snapped back to my more cheerful self many hours ago but so far the pain is unrelenting. Not sure if it was the (very little amount of) manipulation at the doctor's office today or the switching to the boot which is much less comfortable than I would have thought or just the trauma of moving today from my apartment to the HSS and back. All I know is I am actually wishing for my original "cast" back because this feels much worse so far.

No such luck for me regarding the medical leave option. I am not an employee so have none of the benefits they are offered. I am a consultant (1099). However while I was on the phone with one of my girlfriends tonight (and this goes to show how fortunate I am because I have true friends) she offered to fill in for me one day a week to help with the huge backlog of patients waiting to be seen in my absence in the hopes they won't hire someone to take my place.

I have not yet presented this to the chief of the clinic but I am going to tomorrow when I also break (haha break get it ) the bad news to him about how long I will be out of work there. I am hoping he will take that offer and hold my job because if he accepts this offer and hires her at least there will be someone seeing my patients every week for the interim. Of course he may decide that is not enough and say no thanks and look for someone for the full schedule but at least I have exhausted all possibilities and I also cannot thank my friend enough for her generous offer. She already works a very full and hard schedule and the fact that she wanted to help me and take some of my stress and unhappiness away means the world to me. She really has so much on her plate already. You find out who your real friends are during times like these and who really loves you and cares for you.

 

[missy]

HI:

I think your leg looks awesome. Inside and out.

I know you prefer other style of boots, but given the circumstances...if the boot fits!

You are on your way. Rest, nourishment, and balanced with activity as you can tolerate: in honor of your body, embrace patience as you will reap the benefits later. And when your time comes to return to your profession, the doors will be open to you since your value is understood. I truly believe that.

I am very happy this thread is part of your recovery--reporting as part of cognitive therapy is excellent and has helped me many times. It's all connected. So are we.

Take back your power: you've had a stinking injury, you've had surgery and are healing. Yes. Moving forward through this--standing, walking, trapsing, gallivanting, trudging, sashaying, strolling, sauntering, crouching, and yes, waltzing, in your own Missy style. How cool is that?

Healing vibes across the miles!

cheers--Sharon

Aww thank you dear Sharon. You are very wise and you really are a part of my healing. Allowing me to communicate my feelings and thoughts is huge. And you are right. I am taking back the power. I have had some unfortunate circumstances and I cannot change that but I certainly can rise to the occasion and handle it as best I can and with a good attitude (much of the time at least). It's mainly the pain talking when I get depressed and I know that will improve.

And I love the way you think. Haha, the boot may not be my exact style but I am going to make it fashionable darn it.

(((Hugs))) and thank you!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Missy...

 

[rainwood]

Missy -

Your leg looks fantastic given all that you've been through! It probably looked shocking to you, but your surgeon did an awesome job and the swelling is a lot less than I would have imagined. You have more plates and pins than I did (I had the equivalent of the shorter, lower one) and my leg looked a lot worse than yours!!

Your doctor can't guarantee that you will regain your full function or walk without a limp because good doctors don't guarantee anything. That doesn't mean you won't get all the meaningful function back and it doesn't mean you can't sashay the hallways in heels ever again. It just means that he's a wise enough man not to make promises. There are too many variables. My guess is that you will do just fine, and you can use his words as motivation to show him how you bounced back quite nicely.

For awhile, you'll be reluctant to remove the boot because you feel so vulnerable without it. That's natural. You'll just need to be extra careful when it's off. And the good thing is the boot is removable and probably adjustable. You might need to fiddle with it some because your leg will swell and shrink over the course of the day. Mine certainly did.

As for your job, let's hope they let that fabulous friend of yours fill in. If not, that's on them because you'll have done all you can.

And one tip. Did the surgeon give you any exercises to do with the boot off? My surgeon didn't (they usually don't), but my PT person weighed in early and had me do toe points and foot flexes fairly early on and way before I was able to walk on my leg so that I'd start getting back some of the flexibility. You might want to check when you see the doctor next week as to what exercises, if any, you could do now. Or if they recommend a PT person, give that person a call and see what they recommend you do.

Hang in there. You're making great progress.

 

[azstonie]

Missy: your surgeon did an amazing job. I see a lot of ortho, plenty of pilons, and although it's freaky to see a gnarly injury on your person maybe it could be in your Plus column that the exterior of the leg looks great? After seeing the pics I am encouraged. Really.

This is a bad time, I understand. Bring it to PS, we love diamonds and gemstones for a reason! We're tough too!!

One other thing---most good surgeons underpromise just in case. If expectations are low-ish, chances are better you'll be happy later. They also do that because they don't know if you'll follow their instructions meticulously. They don't know if you have grit.

Plan on being the patient with the sick pilon who had an unprecedented recovery.

Can you see the physiatrist for help with sitting, standing, transfers, and sleeping? It need not be this grim. We need to get the correct professionals on it. This can be improved on and it should be. You're holding up your end of this, it's time for assistance.

 

[azstonie]

I forgot what I came to tell ya, your pics were amazing.

Arnica cream. My ortho surgeon says Arnica cream FROM ITALY is great for pain relief. Arnica cream for/from America is nothing compared to the Italian don't bother with it. The Italian stuff has like 4 times the active ingredient than the American formulation.

Do you have any connections in Italy?

 

[marcy]

Missy, sorry your prognosis was not what you hoped for but I think your leg, swelling and stitches look good considering what you’ve been through. That boot looks serious about keeping your leg straight. That is terrific you can take the boot off to shower. 5 months seems like a really long time but as the days and weeks go by I know you will continue to see little things improve and when you can look back a week or two you’ll notice things are getting better. I hope as you heal more, get the stitches out and can move a little easier your pain will start to be less severe. I know you’ll work hard at gaining back your strength and mobility as they allow you to do more things. You can come here and pour your heart out any time. I agree with what many have said doctors never want offer high expectations for recovery and I know you’ll work hard at getting back the strength in your leg. I really hope things work out for your job but if it doesn’t I believe things work out and another great job will find you when the time is right.

Yes, I was pretty freaked out when I got stuck in that car but I leaned back, relaxed and thought I can figure this out. The pain meds they had me on made me pretty stupid. I remember making myself popcorn and ice tea and was going to take in in the living room to watch a movie. I get everything ready then realized how am I going to carry a bowl of popcorn and a glass of ice tea when I have to walk with 2 crutches? So I sat down in the kitchen, ate my popcorn, drank my tea then went and watched the movie. I keep hoping the longer I put knee surgery off the better they’ll be able to fix me. If I come to NYC we could visit the Diamond District too.

 

[Resonance.Of.Life]

The boot probably feels a lot looser than the cast, and thus, feels less stable. It felt that way for me when I switched from a cast to a boot when I broke the proximal portion of my 5th metatarsal (while rolling my ankle... my ligaments are longer than the average person, so I am prone to these types of injuries). It will probably feel better once, the swelling has gone down and you are able to be more mobile with the boot. Listen to your body, pain is an indicator of take it easy! Do you HAVE to sleep on your back? Can you utilize a pregnancy pillow to support your foot while you lay on your side?

Also, once they give you some PT work, it will help with some of the pain that may have been from lack of movement. I hope you get some relief!

I am glad that your friend is so gracious to help you in a time like this, and it definitely goes to show the strength of your friendship with her and how much she means to you !

 

[missy]

Missy...

Thank you for those lovely hugs Dancing Fire. (((HUGS))) to you too.

 

[missy]

Missy -

Your leg looks fantastic given all that you've been through! It probably looked shocking to you, but your surgeon did an awesome job and the swelling is a lot less than I would have imagined. You have more plates and pins than I did (I had the equivalent of the shorter, lower one) and my leg looked a lot worse than yours!!

Your doctor can't guarantee that you will regain your full function or walk without a limp because good doctors don't guarantee anything. That doesn't mean you won't get all the meaningful function back and it doesn't mean you can't sashay the hallways in heels ever again. It just means that he's a wise enough man not to make promises. There are too many variables. My guess is that you will do just fine, and you can use his words as motivation to show him how you bounced back quite nicely.

For awhile, you'll be reluctant to remove the boot because you feel so vulnerable without it. That's natural. You'll just need to be extra careful when it's off. And the good thing is the boot is removable and probably adjustable. You might need to fiddle with it some because your leg will swell and shrink over the course of the day. Mine certainly did.

As for your job, let's hope they let that fabulous friend of yours fill in. If not, that's on them because you'll have done all you can.

And one tip. Did the surgeon give you any exercises to do with the boot off? My surgeon didn't (they usually don't), but my PT person weighed in early and had me do toe points and foot flexes fairly early on and way before I was able to walk on my leg so that I'd start getting back some of the flexibility. You might want to check when you see the doctor next week as to what exercises, if any, you could do now. Or if they recommend a PT person, give that person a call and see what they recommend you do.

Hang in there. You're making great progress.

Thank you rainwood. I so appreciate your excellent advice and as always right on the money. Yesterday during my appointment my surgeon had his office call the visiting nurse association to get me home PT for the next few weeks involving passive exercises because he said I need to get some range of motion and flexibity back. The visiting nurses called me at home yesterday afternoon to set up the nurse visit first because they explained that has to happen before the scheduling of the PT appointments.

We aren't sure if my insurance will cover what the doctor prescribed which is 3 PT visits a week for 4 weeks and that brings me to my next appointment with the surgeon August 27th. I actually have to go to his office next Thursday July 31st to get the rest of the stitches removed but am probably not seeing the doctor that day though if the pain continues like this I will ask to see him.

I am waiting for the visiting nurse to call sometime today and tell me when they are coming here and then after the home visit I hope to be able to set up the PT appointments. I am very hesitant right now to start any range of motion because ever since yesterday the pain has been amped up considerably. I have shooting pains throughout my foot (not my leg as much but the foot) going from my big toe through the entire foot to ankle. It's similar to what I experienced the first couple of days after the accident when I had just broken my bones.

I know you cannot say for sure but do you think this intense shooting pain I am experiencing is possibly from the manipulation of the leg and the switching to the boot yesterday morning? When I got home yesterday I was on the couch for the rest of the day and did absolutely nothing. I am not sure if this is normal. I took 2 Oxycodones and Tylenol before bed last night and as soon as I woke up for the final time this morning because the shooting pain is still intense. I am just hoping this is to be expected and that nothing went wrong switching to the boot.

My dh says when I am just sitting and not moving I should remove the boot because I would be more comfortable but no way. I am terrified to remove it and as you said I feel vulnerable without anything on my leg. I miss the "cast" (LOL can you believe that?)because it felt lighter and was more comfortable but it could just be the shooting pain making me feel that way. Hopefully once that ceases or diminishes I will appreciate the ability to remove the boot when showering.

Thank you for your continued great advice. It is so comforting to hear what you have experienced and how well you did and are doing. Makes me feel not alone and not as scared of the unknown. (((HUGS))).

 

[missy]

Missy: your surgeon did an amazing job. I see a lot of ortho, plenty of pilons, and although it's freaky to see a gnarly injury on your person maybe it could be in your Plus column that the exterior of the leg looks great? After seeing the pics I am encouraged. Really.

This is a bad time, I understand. Bring it to PS, we love diamonds and gemstones for a reason! We're tough too!!

One other thing---most good surgeons underpromise just in case. If expectations are low-ish, chances are better you'll be happy later. They also do that because they don't know if you'll follow their instructions meticulously. They don't know if you have grit.

Plan on being the patient with the sick pilon who had an unprecedented recovery.

Can you see the physiatrist for help with sitting, standing, transfers, and sleeping? It need not be this grim. We need to get the correct professionals on it. This can be improved on and it should be. You're holding up your end of this, it's time for assistance.

Hi azstonie! My BIL is a podiatrist and he said the same thing. That he thought my surgeon did an amazing job and how well I do will depend on something with the joints or soft tissue? Darn I cannot remember what he said but something like that and with the X-rays of the lower part of the ankle it showed that something good was preserved but my foggy brain is not quite remembering his exact words.

And I know you are right. I as much said so to the PA and the surgeon too. I told them I want the conservative prognosis as I would rather be pleasantly surprised than disappointed with how I do. However I was really hoping when I asked the limp question that would get me a Are you crazy of course not answer LOL. And the part when he said my leg is not the same leg anymore just got to me for some reason. It filled me with a melancholy and feeling of loss that reverberated through me if that makes sense. But I'm over it and I am going to work hard and be a model patient because that is the only choice!

I asked the PA about getting a physiatrist and he went into this explanation how I need PT and not physiatry and truthfully I was confused and did not absorb the explanation. After the prescribed month of passive PT I will be getting at home (hopefully) I will revisit the issue and ask the surgeon about physiatry and even ask the PT person. I am planning on getting the active PT/physiatry done at the HSS probably though it is an expensive cab ride back and forth because I want to know I am doing the best I can for my recovery. For the passive manipulation the PA told me that getting home PT was best vs coming all the way there or even going someplace local.

I forgot what I came to tell ya, your pics were amazing.

Arnica cream. My ortho surgeon says Arnica cream FROM ITALY is great for pain relief. Arnica cream for/from America is nothing compared to the Italian don't bother with it. The Italian stuff has like 4 times the active ingredient than the American formulation.

Do you have any connections in Italy?

No connections there darn it. I wonder if I can get it online but I am guessing no or else you would not have asked if I know anyone there. I would give almost anything to get relief from this shooting pain in my foot right now. Thanks for the info and I will research what is possible to get online. Maybe I will get lucky.

And thank you for showing me the way. Again it is incredibly helpful to get advice and support from those that have been there and done that and I am so grateful for all your continued help.

 

[missy]

Missy, sorry your prognosis was not what you hoped for but I think your leg, swelling and stitches look good considering what you’ve been through. That boot looks serious about keeping your leg straight. That is terrific you can take the boot off to shower. 5 months seems like a really long time but as the days and weeks go by I know you will continue to see little things improve and when you can look back a week or two you’ll notice things are getting better. I hope as you heal more, get the stitches out and can move a little easier your pain will start to be less severe. I know you’ll work hard at gaining back your strength and mobility as they allow you to do more things. You can come here and pour your heart out any time. I agree with what many have said doctors never want offer high expectations for recovery and I know you’ll work hard at getting back the strength in your leg. I really hope things work out for your job but if it doesn’t I believe things work out and another great job will find you when the time is right.

Yes, I was pretty freaked out when I got stuck in that car but I leaned back, relaxed and thought I can figure this out. The pain meds they had me on made me pretty stupid. I remember making myself popcorn and ice tea and was going to take in in the living room to watch a movie. I get everything ready then realized how am I going to carry a bowl of popcorn and a glass of ice tea when I have to walk with 2 crutches? So I sat down in the kitchen, ate my popcorn, drank my tea then went and watched the movie. I keep hoping the longer I put knee surgery off the better they’ll be able to fix me. If I come to NYC we could visit the Diamond District too.

Thank you Marcy. I know he had to be cautious with his prognosis for me and hope I will exceed his expectations. It's funny though and I was discussing this with my dh last night. He has a very smooth demeanor and doesn't adjust it for the individual patient. I can tell. I can also tell that IRL I bet he is a bit sarcastic and funny. At least that is my impression. All I care about of course is that he is an excellent surgeon at repairing these fractures and did and continues to do a great job with my Pilon fracture and follow ups and directs me to the appropriate professionals to make sure that happens.

It's weird about the boot. I don't feel that my leg/foot is straight in it but there is no other position I can move it to so just hoping it is right and that the person who chose the size and put it on me did an accurate fit. It just feels weird and not right but it could just be that I am in pain and nothing would feel right.

OMG you poor thing with the popcorn and ice tea. I totally know how you feel because I keep finding myself wanting to make a hot drink or cold drink and then realizing hey I cannot because how am I going to transport it to the couch or even dining room table LOL. Frustrating. So I am making do with bottled drinks for now unless my dh is home. And you betcha on diamonds with the ortho visit if you choose to come to NYC for your surgery. But not before your surgeon says it's OK to go out. We need to take care of your healing first and then diamonds later LOL. Of course if we could get someone from the diamond district to make house calls all bets are off and we are getting diamonds with our recovery haha. I wonder if we could persuade David (DBL) or Adam to make a home visit for us? I mean we are loyal PSers are we not?

 

[missy]

The boot probably feels a lot looser than the cast, and thus, feels less stable. It felt that way for me when I switched from a cast to a boot when I broke the proximal portion of my 5th metatarsal (while rolling my ankle... my ligaments are longer than the average person, so I am prone to these types of injuries). It will probably feel better once, the swelling has gone down and you are able to be more mobile with the boot. Listen to your body, pain is an indicator of take it easy! Do you HAVE to sleep on your back? Can you utilize a pregnancy pillow to support your foot while you lay on your side?

Also, once they give you some PT work, it will help with some of the pain that may have been from lack of movement. I hope you get some relief!

I am glad that your friend is so gracious to help you in a time like this, and it definitely goes to show the strength of your friendship with her and how much she means to you !

Resonance of Life that's it exactly. I feel less stable with the boot and the fit is not as good though it is adjustable. It's funny you mention about your limbs being longer than the average person because so are mine. I wonder if that has anything to do with the severity of my injury? Hmmm I will try to remember to ask my surgeon that question. I hope you are fully recovered from your injury as I don't remember if you told me about that already. I sure hope you are and doing great and have no left over anything from that trauma.

Thanks for the pregnancy pillow tip. I have that on my list of things to buy because I did ask my surgeon and PA if I could sleep on my side and they both said yes as long as I could tolerate the position it was OK. I don't have a pillow like that so I need to get one.

Yes, my friend really went the extra mile for me here and I am humbled by her sincere and generous offer. Really humbled. She works so hard as it is. Not just at work but she is basically the main caretaker for her elderly mother and on her days off she is running to the doctors with her mom. Even if the head administrator at my clinic does not accept this offer (and knowing him there's a good chance he will say no as that is his favorite word ) I am forever grateful to my friend.

Thanks ROL and I hope you are 100% recovered from your injury!

 

[missy]

Just checking out pregnancy pillows to see if I can use them to help me sleep on my side. Any preferences with regards to these choices or any other choices you might prefer?


http://www.amazon.com/Comfort-Total-Body-Support-Pillow/dp/B0010BBN7M/ref=sr_1_3?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1406288061&sr=1-3&keywords=pregnancy+pillow


http://www.amazon.com/Oversized-Pregnancy-Support--Warranty-Exclusively/dp/B00FFACNGE/ref=sr_1_2?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1406288170&sr=1-2&keywords=pregnancy+pillow


http://www.amazon.com/Comfort-Pillow-Total-Body-Support/dp/B0002AASH8/ref=sr_1_12?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1406288241&sr=1-12&keywords=pregnancy+pillow


Azstonie, do you think this is worth getting? Not from Italy but maybe it can help somewhat? By the way my surgeon is so anti any alternative therapy. I asked him about the Wobenzyme (even brought in the box with the ingredient info on it) and he looked at me as if I was crazy. He said what is this? At best it will do no harm and at worse it will cause harm and not to even consider it. And then he went into a long talk about how he hates when patients say they want to detox (I did not bring any of that stuff up he just went into it) and "clean" stuff out and so on and so forth. Sigh. As soon as I am finished with the Lovenox I am going to start it and see what happens. I cannot imagine it would be harmful. Anyway, thoughts on these: They both only have 1X HPUS-7% so I am guessing the Italian Arnica is much stronger.

http://www.amazon.com/Arnicare-M1072352-Cream-2-5-Ounce/dp/B00DEYEREY/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1406288307&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=arnica+cream+from+italy


http://www.amazon.com/Boiron-Arnicare-Arnica-Horizontal-Ounce/dp/B00EEEFUZI/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_3?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1406288668&sr=1-3-fkmr0&keywords=arnica+cream+from+italy


This one has ingredients that is a bit stronger it seems...not sure and it is still from the US. Cannot get the Italian version so far.

http://www.vitacost.com/hylands-muscle-therapy-gel-with-arnica-3-oz-1

Arnica Montana 2X HPUS..... bruising; stiffness; pain; trauma.
Bellis Perennis 3X HPUS..... muscular soreness; fatigue; spranis.
Hypericum Perforatum 3X HPUS..... weakness in limbs; joint pain.
Ledum Palustre 3X HPUS..... swelling; aches & pains; inflammation.
Ruta Graveolens 3X HPUS..... pain in limbs, joints & bones
*HPUS* indicates that the active ingredients are in the official Homeopathic Pharmacopoeia of the United States.
Inactive Ingredients: Chondrus crispus (carrageenan), hydroxyethylcellulose, potassium sorbate, purified water USP, SD alcohol, sodium benzoate.



Thanks!

 

[MissGotRocks]

Missy what did the doctor say about your pain at this point? Does he recommend that you stay with the full regimen first prescribed or does he feel that you could dial it down a notch or two? I wonder if the pain was worse yesterday as you had a full day of movement with the appointment.

Sounds like you have a bit of anxiety going on too - worried about the job and your recovery - I can see where those thoughts would swirl round and round and make you a bit crazy! Wonder if he would consider giving you something mild for the anxiety at least until you are around and being a bit more mobile?

It seems from all reports that you are doing well and have had a great surgical outcome so far. Try to hold onto those thoughts as I think a positive attitude helps us to heal even better. When we're anxious, all muscles seem to tense and make life in general uncomfortable. The injury seems to take on a life of its own with far reaching tentacles into so many aspects of life. It will all work out in the end though I am sure. Again, it's when we try to look too far into the future that our anxiety increases. Still probably better to just plan for one day at a time - what you can and will do to try to fill your day. Beyond that, it gets murky and frightening. I think this is true of a lot of life. Plans are really for fools - life turns on a dime and I guess we have to be ready for almost anything at any time. I don't mean this in a negative way - just the honest truth.

Hang in there sweetie - I think you are doing better than you give yourself credit for. It has been a hellish experience and you've come through with flying colors - despite the grueling pain and frustration. I hope by the next visit you will be doing and feeling much better - and I'm sure you will!

 

[missy]

Missy what did the doctor say about your pain at this point? Does he recommend that you stay with the full regimen first prescribed or does he feel that you could dial it down a notch or two? I wonder if the pain was worse yesterday as you had a full day of movement with the appointment.

Sounds like you have a bit of anxiety going on too - worried about the job and your recovery - I can see where those thoughts would swirl round and round and make you a bit crazy! Wonder if he would consider giving you something mild for the anxiety at least until you are around and being a bit more mobile?

It seems from all reports that you are doing well and have had a great surgical outcome so far. Try to hold onto those thoughts as I think a positive attitude helps us to heal even better. When we're anxious, all muscles seem to tense and make life in general uncomfortable. The injury seems to take on a life of its own with far reaching tentacles into so many aspects of life. It will all work out in the end though I am sure. Again, it's when we try to look too far into the future that our anxiety increases. Still probably better to just plan for one day at a time - what you can and will do to try to fill your day. Beyond that, it gets murky and frightening. I think this is true of a lot of life. Plans are really for fools - life turns on a dime and I guess we have to be ready for almost anything at any time. I don't mean this in a negative way - just the honest truth.

Hang in there sweetie - I think you are doing better than you give yourself credit for. It has been a hellish experience and you've come through with flying colors - despite the grueling pain and frustration. I hope by the next visit you will be doing and feeling much better - and I'm sure you will!

Thanks MissGotRocks. I am anxious but not more than usual LOL. I did tell my doctor (well the PA actually as the doctor didn't ask and by the time he got there we were discussing other things) the pain was still present and bad at times and that I was taking the pain meds anywhere from 2-3 times a day one pill at a time usually. The PA said that was totally normal as I had recently had major surgery so he calmed my fears at that time. It's just since I got back home after the appointment yesterday that the pain got worse than my "normal" pain since the surgery. I am hoping it is from the manipulation and not because the boot is fitting poorly or because of some other unanticipated reason.

Anxiety meds were not discussed and I think that is twofold in reason. One because my anxiety doesn't (yet) feel out of control. I can calm myself down with talking about it (with friends/family and with my fellow PSers) as I have always been a communicator about my feelings and fears and it helps me very much. Believe me if I felt I needed them I would ask for them. But reason two is I cannot be on anxiety meds (at least meds in the benzodiazepine category like Valium or Xanax or Klonopin) while on the narcotic pain relief meds (oxycodone).

Thank you for your insight MGR. I really appreciate it and yes for sure I am anxious and I need to reinforce the one day/one hour at a time concept and stop the worrying thoughts. It's hard enough dealing with the pain right now and I don't need to be worrying what ifs for the future. My main concern at this moment is the worsening pain. Not sure calling the doctor's office will give me any relief from the worry because unless they have me come in what can they say definitively. I guess I am going to just wait and see and hope for the best.

As you say they said I am coming along fine for now from what they can tell as they didn't do X-rays or anything but look at my leg externally yesterday. Deep breaths and relaxing thoughts. A friend is coming for a visit this morning for a short while so maybe that will help though she is a worrier too haha.

Thank you and (((hugs))).