Moms, is this okay for your 12-yr old son to watch?

[kenny]

This is the music video for "Come a Little Closer", by the band Cage the Elephant.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVYup3Qwh8Q

My question is about what appears at 1:24 of the 4-minute song.

I ask because I'm teaching "Sam", a neighbor's 12-yr old son, to play guitar.
I picked this song from the list of 10 songs he wanted to learn because it has some useful musical lessons.

We've already started on the song but I watched the video again and just noticed that image and thought it may not be okay for that age.
If you are an adult you know what it is, but if you were too young you wouldn't get it.
It sure is annoying how everything is sexualized these days.

I privately brought this up with his mom and asked her to watch it and make a call but am waiting for her reply.

 

[JulieN]

Link with start of video at 1:24 http://youtu.be/KVYup3Qwh8Q?t=1m24s

Audio only version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xtg-ntDZGk

 

[kenny]

Thanks Julie.

I called his mom in a bit of a panic yesterday 10 minutes before the lesson and she said she would watch it and make a call, but said they have it on iTunes, audio-only, for that day's lesson.

On many music videos watching the guitarist's fingers can be informative for a student so I do like to use those videos.
If this is the only song for which we avoid the main video Sam may wonder why.
If he asks I'm not sure what I'd answer to prevent him for examining the video closely to find what is forbidden.

This is annoying.
Why do they sneak this stuff in?

 

[packrat]

Wellll that was an eye opener hahaha. I only watched about 10 seconds, so not sure if it continues on in that vein or not. As a 12 year old girl, I don't know that I'd've "gotten" what that is supposed to be. So as a 12 year old boy, I'm not sure if he would get it either. It's been a long time since I was 12 tho *cough cough almost 28 years cough cough* so maybe they're more advanced now? (there's a 13 year old girl pg in town here, so maybe they are!) I remember when I was a senior in HS, I got Pink Floyd's The Wall (on VHS cuz yanno...that was a long ass time ago), and one of my teachers was super young, and huuuugely into PF. (Had a picture of Gilmour on the classroom wall). We were talking about it, and he asked what my favorite parts were. I said one of the things I liked were the flowers, the animation. So then we had a discussion about the sexuality of it--I had to go home and watch it again and pay attention to what I was seeing. Cuz I was 18 and still didn't "get" it, and I had watched it non stop the weekend I got it, didn't catch any innuendo or any of it. Just cool animation and flowers (and...a bee? shoot, it's been so many years since I've seen it now) and even after we'd talked about it, I still had to pay attention and really think about it. Maybe I'm just not very swift. Bit on the dense side.

 

[monarch64]

It doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me. It's animated and honestly I don't find it that graphic. I don't have a 12 year old son, but I had an older brother who was watching Prince videos and Purple Rain when he was 11 or 12. A lot racier content, if anyone recalls. My girl friends and I were watching Dirty Dancing when we were that age.

 

[siv1]

I don't think it's appropriate for a 12 yr old either. But I noticed an acoustical version. It shows more of the guitarists finger movements.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPiThC9WAk8

 

[asscherisme]

I have a 12 year old son who takes music lessons and I would not be happy if that was shown to him during his lesson. If I happened to watch it with him at home by accident it would be no big deal because if he asked about it I could explain. My son takes lessons in a similar manner that you teach, in someone's home. I think you are safest to avoid that video. That being said, my 12 year old it would probably go over his head.

 

[kenny]

I have a 12 year old son who takes music lessons and I would not be happy if that was shown to him during his lesson. If I happened to watch it with him at home by accident it would be no big deal because if he asked about it I could explain. My son takes lessons in a similar manner that you teach, in someone's home. I think you are safest to avoid that video. That being said, my 12 year old it would probably go over his head.

Thanks, good point.

I see now I phrased my question inadequately.

I agree that the kid just stumbling on it on his own is quite different from a teacher using it as a teaching aide.

BTW, these lessons are in their home and I insisted the mom be in the house.
We live in a goofed up world these days.
Gotta cover yourself.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I have a 12 year old son who takes music lessons and I would not be happy if that was shown to him during his lesson. If I happened to watch it with him at home by accident it would be no big deal because if he asked about it I could explain. My son takes lessons in a similar manner that you teach, in someone's home. I think you are safest to avoid that video. That being said, my 12 year old it would probably go over his head.

Ditto every word. If my son somehow came across the video himself, okay and would probably go over his head. However, I would not approve of any adults show in him this video, even if meant as teaching tool.

 

[asscherisme]

I have a 12 year old son who takes music lessons and I would not be happy if that was shown to him during his lesson. If I happened to watch it with him at home by accident it would be no big deal because if he asked about it I could explain. My son takes lessons in a similar manner that you teach, in someone's home. I think you are safest to avoid that video. That being said, my 12 year old it would probably go over his head.

Thanks, good point.

I see now I phrased my question inadequately.

I agree that the kid just stumbling on it on his own is quite different from a teacher using it as a teaching aide.

BTW, these lessons are in their home and I insisted the mom be in the house.
We live in a goofed up world these days.
Gotta cover yourself.

It is a messed up world I agree. My son's previous teacher was a man who would not teach in his home for similar reasons you have mentioned in other posts being uncomfortable so he rented space in a music store using their studios. He stopped teaching to pursue his music career. His current teacher is a woman and she teaches in her home. Double standards, yes and its sad that's how society has evolved. I think its always better to err on the cautious side when dealing with other people's kids.

 

[iluvshinythings]

I probably wouldn't appreciate it much if an adult showed that to my child. It's not offensive to me personally, but if a person in authority were to show it to my child, I'd question it.

I agree that you can't be too careful these days. It's just not worth the risk of something being misconstrued.

 

[iLander]

Kenny,

If you have to ask, then just don't do it.

If it seems a little off to you, it will seem super off to parents, most of whom are usually hyper-sensitive and squirrelly about their kids. I know I am that way.

Bringing it up to them also seems a bit weird. So in the future, just go with "no" and don't even ask.

So now the important question: Fender of Gibson?

 

[kenny]

Bringing it up to them also seems a bit weird. So in the future, just go with "no" and don't even ask.

Thank you.
Actually, that's excellent advice which I will take.
I did not enjoy that conversation with the mom.
She has not called or emailed me with her answer so perhaps the whole thing is awkward for her too and she wishes I'd just done what you advised.
Lesson learned.

FWIW, she and I have been VERY close friends for 15 years.
We have very long talks and have similar childhood experiences, therapy experiences and perspectives on just about everything.
If we were not close friends with a very high comfort level what you suggest may have occurred to me.

So now the important question: Fender of Gibson?

I'm not sure what you're asking.

If you're asking what is played by the band in the video I posted it's a Gibson Les Paul electric.
In the video that siv1 posted it's a Gibson acoustic.
If you are asking what I play it's my cherished Guild D55 dreadnaught that I bought new in 1976.
Over the years Guild has had a few factory locations; the guitars made in Westerly RI in the 70s are widely considered holy grail guitars, especially the D55 model.
70s Westerly Guilds are arguably ranked up there with Pre-War II Martins, though not priced in the stratosphere.
I'm lucky I grabbed one back then.

 

[iLander]

Glad I could help, Kenny. I'm pretty wary of people too. I used to be very open when I was young, which is very freeing and more fun, but that backfired a lot, so I stopped. I sincerely resent having to watch every interaction, it makes me very angry, but I don't seem to have a choice.

Yeah, if she's not responding, that's email talk for "I don't want to have to tell you "no"." I'm glad you're good friends, though, so it'll be fine.

Fender versus Gibson is the endless debate among electric guitarists, I now realize that you're an acoustic player. DD plays both. Just trying to relate.

 

[iLander]

Ugh! I left the 13th post!

Spit three times, knock on wood. spit, spit, spit, knock, knock, knock.

Whew, that's better.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I have a 12 year old son who takes music lessons and I would not be happy if that was shown to him during his lesson. If I happened to watch it with him at home by accident it would be no big deal because if he asked about it I could explain. My son takes lessons in a similar manner that you teach, in someone's home. I think you are safest to avoid that video. That being said, my 12 year old it would probably go over his head.

Ditto every word. If my son somehow came across the video himself, okay and would probably go over his head. However, I would not approve of any adults show in him this video, even if meant as teaching tool.

My son is 12 and he looks at stuff on his ipod...who knows what, but he's seen stuff he shouldn't but either by himself or with kids his age. I'd not want him seeing that w/an adult!

 

[lambskin]

Kenny, so cool you care. But as the mother of 11 and 12 year old girls I think that a boy of similar age has accessed or his friends have accessed with him much worse. I think it is the animation that makes it tolerable for me. I watch what my kids watch and found more offensive stuff on main stream media. If I had a teacher as cool as you -finding new and innovative ways to teach- my kids and I might have stayed with those darn piano lessons. No offense, I hated the music and the video-I guess I am just too old to like what the younger generation is listening to.