Let's talk bad manners....

[jaysonsmom]

You know how we get our panties in a bunch over rude people soliciting wedding gifts, or not sending thank you cards yada yada yada? Well what are some general bad manners that drive you nuts? Here are some of mine

1) I almost confronted a lady at a restaurant yesterday who took off her shoes and sat cross legged on the chair with bare feet facing me. Who DOES that? Not to mention she had both elbows on the table and was ganwing on a piece of meat and eating with fingers which she licked clean instead of using a napkin. BAD TABLE MANNERS!!!

2) I can't stand to see people who have their feet on the dashboard of a car, or hanging out the car window.

3) I don't think you should ever put your feet up on somene's furniture (if you're the guest), no matter how comfy you are with the host. I don't want to see other people's feet on my coffee table.

Perhaps I just have an aversion to feet?

 

[Circe]

If you do, I'm right there with you: the second-closest I've ever come to behaving badly on an airplane was when the person behind me kept putting her grimy bare feet on my armrest.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

 

[kenny]

Here in Los Angels traffic is a nighmare.
We have huge streets with left turn signals.

I hate when I'm second or third in line to turn left and our arrow turns green but the driver in the front of the queue does not pull up much.
That means I may not make this light and have to wait 300 hours for the next green.

The driver in the front of the queue should pull up all the way into the intersection.

 

[Circe]

My more general ones:

1) "Whatever" is never a good answer. Particularly not if you're responding to a statement, not a question.

Ex. of bad:

"Hey, do you want pizza or Chines?"

"Whatever."

Dude, add two words! "Whatever you like" comes off as so much less passive-aggressive!

Ex. of worse (which came from a friend whom I love who was doing me a huge favor by watching my cats):

"Yes, I feed my cats X."

"... whatever."

If you disapprove, say so! Say why! Don't just act like a surly mystic and expect me to interpret your cryptic koan of a response!

2) If somebody is holding the door to a public space, a) THANK THEM, as they are not your doorman (whom you should also be thanking, frankly), and, b) if nine people have already walked through the door that is oh-so-politely being held, LET THE POOR DOOR-HOLDER GO THROUGH ALREADY. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaigh, that drives me nuts, regardless of whether I'm the one doing it or not.

I am somehow sure more will occur shortly.

 

[jaysonsmom]

If you do, I'm right there with you: the second-closest I've ever come to behaving badly on an airplane was when the person behind me kept putting her grimy bare feet on my armrest.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I would have knocked her feet of the armrest! Ewwwww is right! That reminds me of a guy who took off his boots on the plane. He was across the aisle from me. I politely asked him to put them back on because I could smell his stinky feet and it was a 10 hour flight!

 

[ForteKitty]

I have lower back pain and can't sit in the car for long rides. One of the few ways I can stretch it out is by sticking my feet on the dash and stretching out completely. I'll often sit like that for 30 mins at a time, then switching to other stretches. If you have a problem with people doing that in their own cars, maybe you should look away.

 

[Circe]

I have lower back pain and can't sit in the car for long rides. One of the few ways I can stretch it out is by sticking my feet on the dash and stretching out completely. I'll often sit like that for 30 mins at a time, then switching to other stretches. If you have a problem with people doing that in their own cars, maybe you should look away.

Forte, I'm sorry you have lower back pain. That sucks.

 

[monarch64]

My ex-FIL used to tuck his napkin into his collar instead of laying it across his lap. That used to drive me absolutely bonkers but I never said anything.

I'm probably not in the right mindset for this thread since I've had a good day and the weather is beautiful, but I totally understand the need to rant sometimes. There are definitely days when I think everyone seems to have been born in a barn.

My husband and I often find ourselves ranting while driving around town, because the city planners are idiots who've managed to spend a boatload of taxpayer money making traffic worse, not better. I have to stop both of us by saying "let's just have a nice time and focus on the pretty landscaping/trees/whatever." Otherwise we get carried away and can't shut up about it, which leads into a blood pressure-raising discussion of local politics and then we're both craving a cocktail which can't be had since we're in the car.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I have lower back pain and can't sit in the car for long rides. One of the few ways I can stretch it out is by sticking my feet on the dash and stretching out completely. I'll often sit like that for 30 mins at a time, then switching to other stretches. If you have a problem with people doing that in their own cars, maybe you should look away.

You're exempt if you have a medical excuse Sorry about your back. I'll try to be more understanding about people with feet on dash....but what about feet hanging outside of car? Burning bunions?

Just thought of another one: chronically late people who do not apologize for their lateness....

 

[ForteKitty]

....but what about feet hanging outside of car? Burning bunions?

Athlete's foot.

That restaurant one is gross. I saw a lady do something similar once. She was sitting with one bare foot on the bench, knee bent and against the table. Her other leg was sprawled to the side with her bare foot dangling off the bench where people walk by.

And thanks, Circe! It was my own stupid fault for falling while standing still.

 

[Smith1942]

Well, we are not perfect and I'm sure I have some bad habits/manners that I am completely unaware of and drive people nuts. But I do try to be well-mannered.

Examples of others' behaviour (feel like I am putting my neck out here, because as I said above, am not Perfect Being myself, but here goes

Children who never acknowledge, yet alone thank you, for their Christmas/birthday presents.

People who think they have a right to comment (not in a good way) on the possessions you own or things you have bought, or the money you have spent.

The floodgates opened once I got engaged/married. I cannot tell you the amount of times I was asked about our private financial arrangements, whether we had joint accounts, and the number of baby comments. Our finances and baby plans are no one's concern but ours!

Following on from the above, in today's too-open world, the erosion of the idea that some things are sacred between a couple. I guess this boils down to a lack of respect for others' privacy.

If someone is close to you, like a good friend or a parent, they seem to think they have the right to know everything about you. See above.

The above three boil down to people who are just plain old nosy, nosy, nosy. I find nosiness a particularly bad-mannered trait. You never know what is going on in someone's life, and by pick, pick, picking at someone, you might induce a stress meltdown. Just back off!

People digging their knees into the back of my airline seat.

Shameless, noisy, wet, gulping of mucus in the form of sniffing, and people who sneeze like a hurricane, without trying to muffle or cover it.

Prejudice against people who are overweight. I saw a cruel joke of this nature on Facebook today. I didn't realise that some of us had never left high school.

People who smell. You wouldn't believe how common this is. People who have medical or mental health conditions are exempt from this comment, like the man who smelled badly of excrement on a recent flight. For all I know, he might have had a colostomy bag. However, the instances are not all medical. I'm exposed to this quite a lot through frequent travelling - every single journey. How much does a bar of soap, a bottle of deodorant, and a box of floss cost? And the farting when people fall asleep on flights. I take my Olbas oil and shake it around. I'm so fed up with other people's smelly bottoms, feet and mouths.

Agree with the poster about feet. An otherwise well-dressed man across the aisle from me on the same flight described above wore no socks with his shoes...and then took his shoes off. Nice.

People who are mean with money, whether mean tippers or never spending money on others. Fine if the person doesn't have much money, but it's a really bad-mannered and unattractive trait in a person with a lot of money.

Hopeless alcoholics who put others in danger by passing out from drink while food is on the stove, resulting in the building nearly being burnt down. Last Saturday night was fun. After the fire alarm, I ended up standing on the street for hours in the middle of Boston in my baggy pyjamas, husband's dressing gown, and slippers with Clarins cleansing cream all over my face. Please, please, for all our sakes, before I scare the rest of the neighborhood with my bedtime appearance, get some treatment! Potentially burning down someone's home - that would be an example of bad manners.

People who get on Facebook and dribble on and on and on and on about their kids, with never a second thought that their any of their FB contacts could desperately want children but couldn't have them, or have had miscarriages, or never met the right person in time. Stuffing your happiness and good fortune down others' throats is very bad manners.

People who talk and talk and talk and talk and talk. Met a lot of those, too, and they're never talking about when they climbed Everest or anything interesting like that. In my neighbourhood bar there's a crashing bore, who latches on to you and won't go away, and will not accept that you don't want to talk. In desperation I finally told him he talked way too much and I just couldn't bear to listen to him a moment longer. On and on and on and on and on and on and on. He would literally talk without drawing breath for hours, about absolutely nothing, until I was so bored I could have chewed my own arm off. I think this is some of the worst manners of all.

 

[Smith1942]

Fortekitty - about the feet-out-of-window thing discussed above, isn't there a possibility that your feet could get very badly hit by a close-passing vehicle? You know how sometimes people come up close, and if they don't see your feet in time, you might end up with badly broken feet. Just wanted to put that out there to save your feet, potentially! Might be safer to travel in the back and stretch out along the back seat?

 

[Dancing Fire]

1) I almost confronted a lady at a restaurant yesterday who took off her shoes and sat cross legged on the chair with bare feet facing me. Who DOES that? Not to mention she had both elbows on the table and was ganwing on a piece of meat and eating with fingers which she licked clean instead of using a napkin. BAD TABLE MANNERS!!!

Perhaps I just have an aversion to feet?

Never leave home w/o this...

http://www.drscholls.com/Products/Odor-XOdorFightingSprayPowder

 

[ForteKitty]

Fortekitty - about the feet-out-of-window thing discussed above, isn't there a possibility that your feet could get very badly hit by a close-passing vehicle? You know how sometimes people come up close, and if they don't see your feet in time, you might end up with badly broken feet. Just wanted to put that out there to save your feet, potentially! Might be safer to travel in the back and stretch out along the back seat?

I don't stick my foot out the window. If you read what I wrote, you'll see that I put my feet on the dash, which is inside the car. My legs are straight ahead of me, and i fold myself in half to stretch out my lower back. As flexible as I am, I can't fathom how people dangle their feet outside the window. My calves would fall asleep. ''

As far as safety, it's probably safer to knee myself in the face if the airbags deploy, than be in the backseat and not be safely secured in a seatbelt because I'm sitting sideways.

OMG EWWW I take back my last paragraph. I just saw this: http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/20...-trauma-surgeon-get-your-foot-off-of-my-dash/

No more long road trips for me, not that I took many road trips anyway because my tiny bladdar hates me.

 

[JewelFreak]

Not only children who don't bother with a thank you for gifts, Smith. I've given up expecting them. When my nephew got married he stipulated that they did not want presents, only cash (Bad Manners #1). I offered to get them something from Tiffany, where I was working at the time -- "no, we want money." So I sent them a check for $250, about double what I would've spent at Tiffany's. Well, that check hit my bank account at warp speed but I never heard a word from them (No. 2). In fact, haven't heard anything at all from them to this day, 10 yrs later. I didn't send anything when they had babies, surprise surprise.

They're a thing of the past. Coarse culture.

WHY do men have to sneeze like Hurricane Irene? Any guys out there who can answer that? It is one of the most annoying things!

 

[amc80]

I was once on a plane where someone was clipping their fingernails. It was totally disgusting.

I also hate when people brush their hair in public. Go to a bathroom or your car to do that...I don't want strands of your hair anywhere near me.

My mom felt the need to file her nails in MY car. Barf.

I'm huge on table manners. Learn how to hold utensils, use your knife, etc.

Not holding the door open or letting it slam in someone's face. Whenever I go through a door I always look behind me to make sure someone isn't right there. Common courtesy.

ETA- Parents who take their sick kids to day care. One kid in my son's class was recently there with obvious pink eye. Apparently her mom had made a doc appointment for later in the day, but still left the kid there all morning. WTF. I told day care if my kid got it that I would be sending them the bill.

 

[Matata]

People addressing others as "dude, duuuuuuuuuuuude" or "hun'';
talking with mouths full of food, especially when bits fly out into others' faces or drip on the table;
chewing with mouth open and the accompanying variety of noises;
burping and farting in public with deliberate joy and gusto;
no pride in appearance -- before you leave the house comb your hair, brush your teeth, pick the boogers out of your nose, cover your butt crack, abandon your camel toe, and wear clothes rather than pajamas;
hats off when eating in restaurants;
talking loud during a movie or other public performance;
parking grocery cart in the middle of the aisle as though you're the only person in the store;
tailgating because you're being prevented from doing 70 in a 25mph zone

 

[jaysonsmom]

Whoever it was that posted about being oblivious to one's own bad manners was right!!!!

I brush my hair in public, because I air-dry my hair, so often times I'm sitting at my kids' sporting event (softball, baseball) brushing away!

 

[minousbijoux]

This has me laughing so hard! Okay, I'll play:

I don't care if you're a man or a woman (so not gender-based), do not walk through a door and allow it to close on me when I'm right behind you, especially when I'm carrying things

 

[arkieb1]

Cold callers that keep talking even when you say you don't want any of @#$$ they are selling. People on the street or in shopping centres selling things, same thing, I really don't want to be harassed to stop and look at stuff I don't want or need.

 

[Circe]

Fortekitty - about the feet-out-of-window thing discussed above, isn't there a possibility that your feet could get very badly hit by a close-passing vehicle? You know how sometimes people come up close, and if they don't see your feet in time, you might end up with badly broken feet. Just wanted to put that out there to save your feet, potentially! Might be safer to travel in the back and stretch out along the back seat?

I don't stick my foot out the window. If you read what I wrote, you'll see that I put my feet on the dash, which is inside the car. My legs are straight ahead of me, and i fold myself in half to stretch out my lower back. As flexible as I am, I can't fathom how people dangle their feet outside the window. My calves would fall asleep. ''

As far as safety, it's probably safer to knee myself in the face if the airbags deploy, than be in the backseat and not be safely secured in a seatbelt because I'm sitting sideways.

OMG EWWW I take back my last paragraph. I just saw this: http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/20...-trauma-surgeon-get-your-foot-off-of-my-dash/

No more long road trips for me, not that I took many road trips anyway because my tiny bladdar hates me.

I ... was not expecting that.

COMPELLING VISUAL.

 

[SB621]

People who chew with their mouth open...and then the food just falls out so it is just on the table around their plate. I can't handle that at all.

People who are obviously ruled by their children. I'm a mom...I get it. We all have our bad days, but I'm talking about those parents who have absolutely no idea how to control their kids.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Male "adjustments" in public! Yes, you may be in discomfort for a few minutes, but wait to adjust your boys in a restroom or something.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Fortekitty - about the feet-out-of-window thing discussed above, isn't there a possibility that your feet could get very badly hit by a close-passing vehicle? You know how sometimes people come up close, and if they don't see your feet in time, you might end up with badly broken feet. Just wanted to put that out there to save your feet, potentially! Might be safer to travel in the back and stretch out along the back seat?

I don't stick my foot out the window. If you read what I wrote, you'll see that I put my feet on the dash, which is inside the car. My legs are straight ahead of me, and i fold myself in half to stretch out my lower back. As flexible as I am, I can't fathom how people dangle their feet outside the window. My calves would fall asleep. ''

As far as safety, it's probably safer to knee myself in the face if the airbags deploy, than be in the backseat and not be safely secured in a seatbelt because I'm sitting sideways.

OMG EWWW I take back my last paragraph. I just saw this: http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/20...-trauma-surgeon-get-your-foot-off-of-my-dash/

No more long road trips for me, not that I took many road trips anyway because my tiny bladdar hates me.

Oh my gosh, I am never doing that again. I do put my feet on the dash occasionally for the same reason as ForteKitty. It takes pressure off my lower back. Never again. Not worth that.

We have an elementary school behind our house. It is a planned development and pretty new. We knew there would be school noise, kids playing, bells ringing, and fire drills. The school has several events each year where they have some kind of live music. Last weekend they had a live band about 100 feet from my house. They use microphone and amplifiers and my windows literally shake with the beat.
The school property is not big so I don't know why they need to amplify the sound. They will not work with us at all. We cannot hear a single thing inside our house when they have one. You cant watch tv or even read. I think it is the height of bad manners. It makes me understand why people get violent with their neighbors. If I blasted music that loud, I would be sited by the police.

 

[Circe]

People addressing others as "dude, duuuuuuuuuuuude" or "hun'';
talking with mouths full of food, especially when bits fly out into others' faces or drip on the table;
chewing with mouth open and the accompanying variety of noises;
burping and farting in public with deliberate joy and gusto;
no pride in appearance -- before you leave the house comb your hair, brush your teeth, pick the boogers out of your nose, cover your butt crack, abandon your camel toe, and wear clothes rather than pajamas;
hats off when eating in restaurants;
talking loud during a movie or other public performance;
parking grocery cart in the middle of the aisle as though you're the only person in the store;
tailgating because you're being prevented from doing 70 in a 25mph zone

I am periodically guilty of at least two of the above, and I still thought this was hilarious. Hear, hear!

 

[minousbijoux]

People addressing others as "dude, duuuuuuuuuuuude" or "hun'';
talking with mouths full of food, especially when bits fly out into others' faces or drip on the table;
chewing with mouth open and the accompanying variety of noises;
burping and farting in public with deliberate joy and gusto;
no pride in appearance -- before you leave the house comb your hair, brush your teeth, pick the boogers out of your nose, cover your butt crack, abandon your camel toe, and wear clothes rather than pajamas;
hats off when eating in restaurants;
talking loud during a movie or other public performance;
parking grocery cart in the middle of the aisle as though you're the only person in the store;
tailgating because you're being prevented from doing 70 in a 25mph zone

I honestly skipped your list at first because it was too much for poor old me to read - talk about rude!

But then I practically fell out of my chair laughing when I did read it!

Matata: hats off to you - especially when entering a home!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Male "adjustments" in public! Yes, you may be in discomfort for a few minutes, but wait to adjust your boys in a restroom or something.

Some time IT doesn't behave like it should...

 

[canuk-gal]

My ex-FIL used to tuck his napkin into his collar instead of laying it across his lap. That used to drive me absolutely bonkers but I never said anything.

I'm probably not in the right mindset for this thread since I've had a good day and the weather is beautiful, but I totally understand the need to rant sometimes. There are definitely days when I think everyone seems to have been born in a barn.

My husband and I often find ourselves ranting while driving around town, because the city planners are idiots who've managed to spend a boatload of taxpayer money making traffic worse, not better. I have to stop both of us by saying "let's just have a nice time and focus on the pretty landscaping/trees/whatever." Otherwise we get carried away and can't shut up about it, which leads into a blood pressure-raising discussion of local politics and then we're both craving a cocktail which can't be had since we're in the car.

it is excellent to aspire to cocktails and very good manners that you wait til you are home/in restaurant...



PS I work with nice people who remove their shoes at work and have smelly feet. And pass gas--unplanned but horrifying nonetheless. Or maybe just bad manners.....

 

[Smith1942]

Fortekitty - about the feet-out-of-window thing discussed above, isn't there a possibility that your feet could get very badly hit by a close-passing vehicle? You know how sometimes people come up close, and if they don't see your feet in time, you might end up with badly broken feet. Just wanted to put that out there to save your feet, potentially! Might be safer to travel in the back and stretch out along the back seat?

I don't stick my foot out the window. If you read what I wrote, you'll see that I put my feet on the dash, which is inside the car. My legs are straight ahead of me, and i fold myself in half to stretch out my lower back. As flexible as I am, I can't fathom how people dangle their feet outside the window. My calves would fall asleep. ''

As far as safety, it's probably safer to knee myself in the face if the airbags deploy, than be in the backseat and not be safely secured in a seatbelt because I'm sitting sideways.

OMG EWWW I take back my last paragraph. I just saw this: http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/20...-trauma-surgeon-get-your-foot-off-of-my-dash/

No more long road trips for me, not that I took many road trips anyway because my tiny bladdar hates me.

Ah, yes, you're quite right. I misread it. I was skimming as I'm on a work deadline and mainly remembered what the OP wrote about feet out of the window. I'm glad to hear that your feet are safe! I was worried about them.

 

[Smith1942]

JewelFreak - how very bad-mannered of your nephew! I acquired a rude nephew when I got married. He has treated my gifts with such disdain that I no longer bother with him. Once, when I hadn't heard from him after I went to great trouble to send him a set of books, I saw him in England six months later. I asked him if he'd received the books and he didn't even look at me, just said "yes". I just cannot believe that he could possibly have the nerve to say just "yes" - not even "yes thanks". Nasty little boy. I was itching to shove him up the nearest chimney!

I am a full believer in Sartre. Hell is other people.