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Ladies, how do you feel about aging?

momhappy

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CJ2008|1440599416|3919375 said:
momhappy said:
I received a magnifying mirror as a Christmas gift one year. At first, I thought it would be great for putting on makeup, etc., but I quickly realized how awful it was. It highlighted every teeny-tiny imperfection and it made me obsessed with my skin, aging, etc. :o It lasted about a week and I got rid of it. No one needs that kind of pressure :lol: It's sort of like owning a scale (which I don't) because I don't need the added pressure of weighing myself every day.

I actually bought this for myself (the Simple Human one that's lighted) and I love it for putting on makeup. But, I make sure not to focus on my imperfections, just on the makeup ::)

I don't know what I did without it all these years - I think young or old, every woman needs this mirror! There are times when I think I blended my makeup properly and when I look in that mirror :-o plus I have some areas of my face that are extra dry and even though in a regular mirror I don't really see the makeup grabbing on I do when I look in that mirror, so I can add a little more moisturizer etc. until it looks smooth. So now I use it all the time.

If a magnifying mirror works for you, that's great :D , but I don't agree that it's something that every woman needs. I'm sure that it's helpful when applying makeup and I can see how it would make the job easier in many ways. However, it also highlights imperfections which can lead to negative/unhealthy thoughts and for someone like me (who's already very concerned about looks & aging), I just don't need that extra pressure in my life. I have a makeup mirror that utilizes bulbs that offer natural daylight illumination.
 

CJ2008

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momhappy|1440600839|3919387 said:
CJ2008|1440599416|3919375 said:
momhappy said:
I received a magnifying mirror as a Christmas gift one year. At first, I thought it would be great for putting on makeup, etc., but I quickly realized how awful it was. It highlighted every teeny-tiny imperfection and it made me obsessed with my skin, aging, etc. :o It lasted about a week and I got rid of it. No one needs that kind of pressure :lol: It's sort of like owning a scale (which I don't) because I don't need the added pressure of weighing myself every day.

I actually bought this for myself (the Simple Human one that's lighted) and I love it for putting on makeup. But, I make sure not to focus on my imperfections, just on the makeup ::)

I don't know what I did without it all these years - I think young or old, every woman needs this mirror! There are times when I think I blended my makeup properly and when I look in that mirror :-o plus I have some areas of my face that are extra dry and even though in a regular mirror I don't really see the makeup grabbing on I do when I look in that mirror, so I can add a little more moisturizer etc. until it looks smooth. So now I use it all the time.

If a magnifying mirror works for you, that's great :D , but I don't agree that it's something that every woman needs. I'm sure that it's helpful when applying makeup and I can see how it would make the job easier in many ways. However, it also highlights imperfections which can lead to negative/unhealthy thoughts and for someone like me (who's already very concerned about looks & aging), I just don't need that extra pressure in my life. I have a makeup mirror that utilizes bulbs that offer natural daylight illumination.

Yeah I was just kind of "saying" that but no I don't think every woman really needs it. Especially if you know looking in it is going to make you feel worse - not worth it if that's what it does. Thankfully for some reason I am able to use it without focusing on the bad stuff. Hopefully that will continue as I'm sure my eyes will get worse and my skin will get drier (I'm at the point of using a glob of Vaseline as my moisturizer at night and it is NOT too heavy :-o )
 

House Cat

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My very biggest fear when it comes to aging is keeping my mental facilities. I already have severe memory issues because of my health problems and these memory issues are getting progressively worse. I pray and pray that even if I can't remember three days ago, please, please God, let me remember my family members! I will go for "a little nutty" but I do NOT want Alzheimers!

Sigh... I have times when it feels like there is a physical block in my brain, keeping me from getting to a thought that I KNOW is in there... I try and try to get to it, only to fail.

I hope that this has something to do with my meds. I hope this has something to do with bipolar disorder. I hope this has something to do with ANYTHING but early warning signs of dementia or losing it.


I can be a little tiny hunched over wrinkly tattooed gray haired old lady with watery green eyes who can barely get out of her chair, but I do not want to be screaming about the pink tutu wearing chickens who are eating my chocolate chip cookies! :shock:
 

CJ2008

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House Cat|1440603489|3919400 said:
I do not want to be screaming about the pink tutu wearing chickens who are eating my chocolate chip cookies! :shock:

:lol:

But you know what HC you are so right.

For some reason I have not started fearing that yet - I have not given it much thought - even though I've seen several older people exhibit the signs (nothing major, but forgetting people's name they are DATING (ETA not my relative, just someone I know), telling the same story over and over, etc. )

Scary.
 

iLander

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Saying it again; it beats the alternative. :big smile:

Because, honestly, that's about as much thinking I want to do about.

I am exercising to try to avoid future issues and eating well.

Not really sure there's much more I can, except count my blessings that I'm still upright and sucking air.
 

ennui

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Polished|1440572712|3919274 said:
I was at a make-up/skin care counter recently complaining to the assistant that my mirror accentuated the bags under my eyes and what should I do about it. Her advice was to get a different mirror. Wise woman, a little humour goes along way with this issue. The mirror thing - does anyone know why some mirrors can be quite flattering to your looks, while others can turn you into a gothic horror?

I love that assistant! I don't know about the gothic horror bit, but yes, mirror quality can vary widely. Most mirrors are inexpensively produced. One quick and easy test -- take something white, usually a facial tissue is enough, hold it up to your mirror and look at the reflection. Most of the time, your white item will reflect with a greenish tint. If the reflection is true and white, you've got a good mirror.
 

jaysonsmom

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I was re-reading this thread today and talking to a coworker about it.... I still stand by what I posted earlier about still feeling pretty good about my face and body....when said coworker reminded me that you can always tell a woman's age from her hands and neck. Well, gosh darn it! I thought I could get away with saying I'm 10 years younger than my actual age, but apparently my neck giving my age away! Anyone know a good remedy for sagging neck skin?
 

ennui

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jaysonsmom|1440634959|3919644 said:
Anyone know a good remedy for sagging neck skin?

Scarves?
 

jaysonsmom

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ennui|1440635655|3919651 said:
jaysonsmom|1440634959|3919644 said:
Anyone know a good remedy for sagging neck skin?

Scarves?

What a great idea. Much cheaper than surgery :). I love scarves in winter, but it's 100 degrees in California right now!
 

AprilBaby

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I'm 56 and I think I look better than ever. I have great skin and hair genes. My hair is still strawberry blonde with no gray. I have few wrinkles. My problem is weigh gain. Menopause is great! I had hot flashes and night sweats for a year. Effexor XR was a miracle. I have a new right knee and will be getting a new left knee. I'm a grandma! Aches and pains but life is great!

Wear sunscreen
Use retin A early
Stay out of the sun!
 

LLJsmom

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Just remembered another one, or two.

White hair. I'm 50% white already. Genetic. Waste of time and money and effort to color. I'm considering letting it grow out. My 10 year old daughter objects. :lol:

And memory loss. Why did I come into this room again?!? Those "senior moments" are no joke. If I didn't learn it before I was 25, I'm sure not gonna remember it now. :confused:

And my skin is only gonna get worse. I can't do treadmill running cause my ankle is not healing, so all my runs now have to be outdoors. More sun exposure. :rolleyes:
 

distracts

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I had a whole comment written out but then I thought of something else... I know I'm in the younger set of people on this board and a lot of you are older, closer to my parents' age, so maybe you have some advice on this - my mom never used to care about her appearance but in the past few years she has seemed more insecure about it, and it hurts to see my mom feel bad about her looks. She looks to me pretty much just the same as ever, I mean, I'm her daughter, obviously, so when I tell her she looks great I'm sure it carries about as much weight as when she tells me I look great (of course you think that! You love me and are therefore biased!). Like she's really worried about her eyebrows because they are very sparse, but her eyebrows have ALWAYS been sparse, so I don't know why she's just worrying NOW? I helped her pick out an eyebrow pencil without any ingredients that she's allergic to (she's allergic to half of everything on the planet so doesn't use many beauty products because of that, and I don't even think owns any other makeup other than maybe a lipstick) but I'd really rather she just... not worry about it. I don't think my dad is doing or saying anything to create this worry, like I said in the other thread about divorces from long marriages, they seem to be getting along better than I've ever seen before, but I also don't live at their house anymore so I don't see the vast majority of their interactions. (eta: Rather than my dad it could be my mom's brother, as he is very appearance-obsessed and it hit a stratospheric level when he got divorced several years ago and he and my mom are close and talk several times a week, so even if he isn't saying anything about her maybe the obsession is rubbing off on her?) I think my mom objectively looks better than average for her age. My husband thinks so too and has said he'll be very happy if I look as good as that when I'm that age (idk if that's weird? I didn't think it was terribly weird of him to say because I look like nearly the spitting image of my mom, so shared because it's a source that's maybe less-biased than I am).

I don't know what to do but I don't like my mom to be upset about anything. Does anyone have any advice? Is it better to try to help her with all the things she's asked about or reinforce that she looks great or reinforce that looks don't matter or all at once or what??????
 

momhappy

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jaysonsmom|1440634959|3919644 said:
I was re-reading this thread today and talking to a coworker about it.... I still stand by what I posted earlier about still feeling pretty good about my face and body....when said coworker reminded me that you can always tell a woman's age from her hands and neck. Well, gosh darn it! I thought I could get away with saying I'm 10 years younger than my actual age, but apparently my neck giving my age away! Anyone know a good remedy for sagging neck skin?

Is it mostly sagging skin or is there some fat there too? There's a new procedure out called Kybella. A good friend of our is a plastic surgeon and he went through some pretty intensive training to become certified. He is convinced that it's going to be a game-changer. It is a series of injections that eliminate neck fat and tighten skin at the same time.
If it's just sagging skin, there are probably some laser treatments that would be beneficial.
 

Maria D

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distracts|1440652940|3919741 said:
I had a whole comment written out but then I thought of something else... I know I'm in the younger set of people on this board and a lot of you are older, closer to my parents' age, so maybe you have some advice on this - my mom never used to care about her appearance but in the past few years she has seemed more insecure about it, and it hurts to see my mom feel bad about her looks. She looks to me pretty much just the same as ever, I mean, I'm her daughter, obviously, so when I tell her she looks great I'm sure it carries about as much weight as when she tells me I look great (of course you think that! You love me and are therefore biased!). Like she's really worried about her eyebrows because they are very sparse, but her eyebrows have ALWAYS been sparse, so I don't know why she's just worrying NOW? I helped her pick out an eyebrow pencil without any ingredients that she's allergic to (she's allergic to half of everything on the planet so doesn't use many beauty products because of that, and I don't even think owns any other makeup other than maybe a lipstick) but I'd really rather she just... not worry about it. I don't think my dad is doing or saying anything to create this worry, like I said in the other thread about divorces from long marriages, they seem to be getting along better than I've ever seen before, but I also don't live at their house anymore so I don't see the vast majority of their interactions. (eta: Rather than my dad it could be my mom's brother, as he is very appearance-obsessed and it hit a stratospheric level when he got divorced several years ago and he and my mom are close and talk several times a week, so even if he isn't saying anything about her maybe the obsession is rubbing off on her?) I think my mom objectively looks better than average for her age. My husband thinks so too and has said he'll be very happy if I look as good as that when I'm that age (idk if that's weird? I didn't think it was terribly weird of him to say because I look like nearly the spitting image of my mom, so shared because it's a source that's maybe less-biased than I am).

I don't know what to do but I don't like my mom to be upset about anything. Does anyone have any advice? Is it better to try to help her with all the things she's asked about or reinforce that she looks great or reinforce that looks don't matter or all at once or what??????

Distracts, you sound like a wonderful daughter! I think you should continue to help her with things she asks about, in the realm of "we girls sharing beauty tips" and have your husband toss in a "Looking great Mom!" when he sees her if you think your compliments don't hold much weight. And don't be too sure about that - even if our loved ones are biased, we like hearing that they think we look attractive.

I don't think your husband's remarks are weird at all, but really sweet. For two reasons - one, he likes his mother-in-law and two, he's looking forward to growing old with you.

As for your mom now fretting about things she didn't used to care much about, it may not come from someone else like your dad or her brother. Maybe it's just me, but at this age getting older isn't just about not looking and feeling like you used to, in a society that values youthfulness. There's that nagging realization that your life is more than half over - so the sparse eyebrows that were always sparse are now old eyebrows on an older woman who is getting toward the end. When you fill them in in your thirties, it's for aesthetics, if you even bother because maybe you don't care about eyebrows. In your 50s, it's like - holy crap, those eyebrows are NEVER growing back and here's another sign that the end is closer.... :lol: Sorry - didn't mean to get all gloomy!
 

House Cat

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momhappy|1440676532|3919789 said:
jaysonsmom|1440634959|3919644 said:
I was re-reading this thread today and talking to a coworker about it.... I still stand by what I posted earlier about still feeling pretty good about my face and body....when said coworker reminded me that you can always tell a woman's age from her hands and neck. Well, gosh darn it! I thought I could get away with saying I'm 10 years younger than my actual age, but apparently my neck giving my age away! Anyone know a good remedy for sagging neck skin?

Is it mostly sagging skin or is there some fat there too? There's a new procedure out called Kybella. A good friend of our is a plastic surgeon and he went through some pretty intensive training to become certified. He is convinced that it's going to be a game-changer. It is a series of injections that eliminate neck fat and tighten skin at the same time.
If it's just sagging skin, there are probably some laser treatments that would be beneficial.
The before and after photos are AMAZING!!
 

jaysonsmom

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momhappy|1440676532|3919789 said:
jaysonsmom|1440634959|3919644 said:
I was re-reading this thread today and talking to a coworker about it.... I still stand by what I posted earlier about still feeling pretty good about my face and body....when said coworker reminded me that you can always tell a woman's age from her hands and neck. Well, gosh darn it! I thought I could get away with saying I'm 10 years younger than my actual age, but apparently my neck giving my age away! Anyone know a good remedy for sagging neck skin?

Is it mostly sagging skin or is there some fat there too? There's a new procedure out called Kybella. A good friend of our is a plastic surgeon and he went through some pretty intensive training to become certified. He is convinced that it's going to be a game-changer. It is a series of injections that eliminate neck fat and tighten skin at the same time.
If it's just sagging skin, there are probably some laser treatments that would be beneficial.

No, not much fat, just skin...I think it may have been due to weight fluctuations in the past. Here goes nothing....see pic below

_33663.jpg
 

ennui

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distracts|1440652940|3919741 said:
I think my mom objectively looks better than average for her age. My husband thinks so too and has said he'll be very happy if I look as good as that when I'm that age (idk if that's weird? I didn't think it was terribly weird of him to say because I look like nearly the spitting image of my mom, so shared because it's a source that's maybe less-biased than I am).

I don't know what to do but I don't like my mom to be upset about anything. Does anyone have any advice? Is it better to try to help her with all the things she's asked about or reinforce that she looks great or reinforce that looks don't matter or all at once or what??????

I would continue to tell her she looks great, but drop that second half of the compliment. "You look great for your age." The second half negates the first half.
 

junebug17

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Polished|1440572712|3919274 said:
Junebug - I think it's actually ok and natural to grieve a bit for the looks of one's youth. You seem completely aware of the things that are more important so admitting to this fact of life is probably quite a healthy thing. I know I can sometimes look at a recent photo of myself and think omg what's that chin about? I'm not keen on photos these days unless they're of my daughters. I was at a make-up/skin care counter recently complaining to the assistant that my mirror accentuated the bags under my eyes and what should I do about it. Her advice was to get a different mirror. Wise woman, a little humour goes along way with this issue. The mirror thing - does anyone know why some mirrors can be quite flattering to your looks, while others can turn you into a gothic horror?

Polished, thanks…I appreciate your comments…I'm feeling better about the incident, I was a bit down when I posted but writing about it was actually somewhat cathartic, and I'm being a bit more objective about it - and frankly now that I'm thinking about it I'm a bit puzzled about her failure to know who I was. I went to my HS reunion a few years ago and I hadn't seen those people in decades and everyone seemed to know who I was for pete's sake! If some of them didn't, at least they did a good job of pretending. That said, I have changed over the years, so I have to be realistic about it.

Ah yes, mirrors and pictures are not really my friends these days! :) But I agree, I think it's important to keep our sense of humor, at the end of the day a good attitude is what really keeps you young (at heart anyway! :cheeky: )
 

marymm

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distracts|1440652940|3919741 said:
I had a whole comment written out but then I thought of something else... I know I'm in the younger set of people on this board and a lot of you are older, closer to my parents' age, so maybe you have some advice on this - my mom never used to care about her appearance but in the past few years she has seemed more insecure about it, and it hurts to see my mom feel bad about her looks. She looks to me pretty much just the same as ever, I mean, I'm her daughter, obviously, so when I tell her she looks great I'm sure it carries about as much weight as when she tells me I look great (of course you think that! You love me and are therefore biased!). Like she's really worried about her eyebrows because they are very sparse, but her eyebrows have ALWAYS been sparse, so I don't know why she's just worrying NOW? I helped her pick out an eyebrow pencil without any ingredients that she's allergic to (she's allergic to half of everything on the planet so doesn't use many beauty products because of that, and I don't even think owns any other makeup other than maybe a lipstick) but I'd really rather she just... not worry about it. I don't think my dad is doing or saying anything to create this worry, like I said in the other thread about divorces from long marriages, they seem to be getting along better than I've ever seen before, but I also don't live at their house anymore so I don't see the vast majority of their interactions. (eta: Rather than my dad it could be my mom's brother, as he is very appearance-obsessed and it hit a stratospheric level when he got divorced several years ago and he and my mom are close and talk several times a week, so even if he isn't saying anything about her maybe the obsession is rubbing off on her?) I think my mom objectively looks better than average for her age. My husband thinks so too and has said he'll be very happy if I look as good as that when I'm that age (idk if that's weird? I didn't think it was terribly weird of him to say because I look like nearly the spitting image of my mom, so shared because it's a source that's maybe less-biased than I am).

I don't know what to do but I don't like my mom to be upset about anything. Does anyone have any advice? Is it better to try to help her with all the things she's asked about or reinforce that she looks great or reinforce that looks don't matter or all at once or what??????

Of course we all look into the mirror probably several times a day, to brush our teeth, fix our hair, etc. I've noticed as I've aged, I've had to adjust a bit my routine so that the mirror reflects back to me the image that more closely matches the image of myself I have in my head (does this make sense?).

It is true well-defined, well-shaped eyebrows can lift a face, so to speak. So while your mom has always had sparse eyebrows, perhaps now that she's aged and other parts of her face may have changed, she's identified her eyebrows as something alterable with make-up, which if done how she imagines it, will assist in putting her face closer to her image she has in her head.

I'm sure your mom looks fine, beautiful, just as she is... but she may be looking for herself in the mirror and maybe a bit of discreet eyebrow pencil could deliver that to her. For me personally, when I am able to match what I see in the mirror with the image I have of myself in my head, I feel much more confident.

(I guess this only works if we are realistic? Because through the years the image I have in my head has almost always been fairly close to the image I see/produce in the mirror, but I feel most "me" when my eyebrows are well-groomed and I have the right lip color)

Just my 2 cents
 

ennui

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I've discovered that a small touch of blush really helps. I was never much of a blush wearer before.
 

chrono

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Why are we fighting a losing battle? Why is it so difficult for most women to accept aging as a natural process and that by the time we at 80, there's really nothing to be done about it? This is puzzling for me as I've never bothered with such things. Even if one slows it down with surgery and what not, how long can time be staved off? Is it such a terrible thing to see your face as it really is in a magnified mirror?

I think I see 2 different sides to this. Those in the 30s and 40s are very concerned with their physical image but those in their 50s and 60s, having lived through that period before, are more concerned with mental and physical health as they understand there's only so much you can do to make yourself look younger and we know that it is impossible for a 60 year old to ever look like a 30 year old.
 

CJ2008

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AprilBaby|1440637817|3919676 said:
I'm 56 and I think I look better than ever. I have great skin and hair genes.

That's wonderful AprilBaby - nothing like beautiful skin.
 

CJ2008

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distracts|1440652940|3919741 said:
I had a whole comment written out but then I thought of something else... I know I'm in the younger set of people on this board and a lot of you are older, closer to my parents' age, so maybe you have some advice on this - my mom never used to care about her appearance but in the past few years she has seemed more insecure about it, and it hurts to see my mom feel bad about her looks. She looks to me pretty much just the same as ever, I mean, I'm her daughter, obviously, so when I tell her she looks great I'm sure it carries about as much weight as when she tells me I look great (of course you think that! You love me and are therefore biased!). Like she's really worried about her eyebrows because they are very sparse, but her eyebrows have ALWAYS been sparse, so I don't know why she's just worrying NOW? I helped her pick out an eyebrow pencil without any ingredients that she's allergic to (she's allergic to half of everything on the planet so doesn't use many beauty products because of that, and I don't even think owns any other makeup other than maybe a lipstick) but I'd really rather she just... not worry about it. I don't think my dad is doing or saying anything to create this worry, like I said in the other thread about divorces from long marriages, they seem to be getting along better than I've ever seen before, but I also don't live at their house anymore so I don't see the vast majority of their interactions. (eta: Rather than my dad it could be my mom's brother, as he is very appearance-obsessed and it hit a stratospheric level when he got divorced several years ago and he and my mom are close and talk several times a week, so even if he isn't saying anything about her maybe the obsession is rubbing off on her?) I think my mom objectively looks better than average for her age. My husband thinks so too and has said he'll be very happy if I look as good as that when I'm that age (idk if that's weird? I didn't think it was terribly weird of him to say because I look like nearly the spitting image of my mom, so shared because it's a source that's maybe less-biased than I am).

I don't know what to do but I don't like my mom to be upset about anything. Does anyone have any advice? Is it better to try to help her with all the things she's asked about or reinforce that she looks great or reinforce that looks don't matter or all at once or what??????

I used to feel this way about my mom too. I remember growing up my mom never wanted to go to the beach because of her legs, or because she was heavy. And I always felt so bad for her - I couldn't convince her that nobody is out there judging her like she's judging herself. And I couldn't understand how someone would prefer to stay home rather than go do something they would enjoy just because they're not comfortable with how they look.

Years later I am the exact same way.

As far as your mom, I agree 100% with what marymm said: "So while your mom has always had sparse eyebrows, perhaps now that she's aged and other parts of her face may have changed, she's identified her eyebrows as something alterable with make-up"

Her eyebrows may have never bothered her before too much because everything else looked good to her - but now she's recognizing some things she can control, some she can't...

It's a fine line between not brushing her concerns away and helping her versus indulging too much emphasis on her looks and things she can't control. So I would absolutely go shopping with her for some makeup, maybe look up some YouTube tutorials for her, etc. (so she can learn to apply makeup on an older face) etc. - but I would make sure if she spirals out of control that I didn't indulge it. For her sake and for yours - I would just tell her that she's judging herself too harshly.
 

CJ2008

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jaysonsmom|1440686537|3919848 said:
momhappy|1440676532|3919789 said:
jaysonsmom|1440634959|3919644 said:
I was re-reading this thread today and talking to a coworker about it.... I still stand by what I posted earlier about still feeling pretty good about my face and body....when said coworker reminded me that you can always tell a woman's age from her hands and neck. Well, gosh darn it! I thought I could get away with saying I'm 10 years younger than my actual age, but apparently my neck giving my age away! Anyone know a good remedy for sagging neck skin?

Is it mostly sagging skin or is there some fat there too? There's a new procedure out called Kybella. A good friend of our is a plastic surgeon and he went through some pretty intensive training to become certified. He is convinced that it's going to be a game-changer. It is a series of injections that eliminate neck fat and tighten skin at the same time.
If it's just sagging skin, there are probably some laser treatments that would be beneficial.

No, not much fat, just skin...I think it may have been due to weight fluctuations in the past. Here goes nothing....see pic below

That is not too bad at all jaysonsmom - there is hardly any sagging at all. I would look into this Kybella thing momhappy suggested or definitely talk to a dermatologist about laser. I think you are a good place to do something about it because the aging is so subtle.
 

Calliecake

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Mom Happy, I could not agree with you more about the magnified mirror. The only problem is without it I would not be able to put on my make up. Well I guess I could but it would not end being where it should be. One of the many joys of being in your fifties.

I took my very first selfie yesterday. I haven't taken a picture of any kind in a few years and was going to send my picture to an online girlfriend. I always avoid cameras at all cost. Do selfies make your nose look bigger? My nose looks huge but they do say your nose and ears get bigger as you age. Another wonderful joy of aging....NOT! Needless to say I most certainly will never take another selfie. I didn't even get up the nerve to send the darn picture.

Junebug, One of my neighbors commented that I didn't look like the same person that is in my wedding pictures. I was devastated but then about two week later I was dropping off something for the same friend. They were having some painting done in their home at the time. The painting company owner had dropped by to check out the work. He walked in the room and said Callie How the heck are you?
I had not seen this guy for over 35 years. I figured I must not have changed that much if some person I knew in High School knew it was me right away. Just because one person made a comment like that doesn't mean others would not recognize you right away.
 

missy

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Calliecake|1440704540|3920001 said:
Mom Happy, I could not agree with you more about the magnified mirror. The only problem is without it I would not be able to put on my make up. Well I guess I could but it would not end being where it should be. One of the many joys of being in your fifties.

I took my very first selfie yesterday. I haven't taken a picture of any kind in a few years and was going to send my picture to an online girlfriend. I always avoid cameras at all cost. Do selfies make your nose look bigger? My nose looks huge but they do say your nose and ears get bigger as you age. Another wonderful joy of aging....NOT! Needless to say I most certainly will never take another selfie. I didn't even get up the nerve to send the darn picture.

Junebug, One of my neighbors commented that I didn't look like the same person that is in my wedding pictures. I was devastated but then about two week later I was dropping off something for the same friend. They were having some painting done in their home at the time. The painting company owner had dropped by to check out the work. He walked in the room and said Callie How the heck are you?
I had not seen this guy for over 35 years. I figured I must not have changed that much if some person I knew in High School knew it was me right away. Just because one person made a comment like that doesn't mean others would not recognize you right away.

Haha yes yes they do. LOL.

jaysonsmom said:
I was re-reading this thread today and talking to a coworker about it.... I still stand by what I posted earlier about still feeling pretty good about my face and body....when said coworker reminded me that you can always tell a woman's age from her hands and neck. Well, gosh darn it! I thought I could get away with saying I'm 10 years younger than my actual age, but apparently my neck giving my age away! Anyone know a good remedy for sagging neck skin?

Do you moisturize your neck? That is supposed to help and of course wearing sunscreen. Have you read that book by Nora Ephron? Hysterical. "I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman"
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/27/books/27masl.html?_r=0
 

momhappy

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Chrono|1440696812|3919929 said:
Why are we fighting a losing battle? Why is it so difficult for most women to accept aging as a natural process and that by the time we at 80, there's really nothing to be done about it? This is puzzling for me as I've never bothered with such things. Even if one slows it down with surgery and what not, how long can time be staved off? Is it such a terrible thing to see your face as it really is in a magnified mirror?

I think I see 2 different sides to this. Those in the 30s and 40s are very concerned with their physical image but those in their 50s and 60s, having lived through that period before, are more concerned with mental and physical health as they understand there's only so much you can do to make yourself look younger and we know that it is impossible for a 60 year old to ever look like a 30 year old.

Because for me, fighting the battle (even if it is an uphill one) means that I'm trying/fighting. The alternative is not trying/not fighting, which is equivalent to giving up/quitting. I am not anywhere near ready to give up the fight. I still feel young, I still care what I look like, I still want to be pretty. Therefore, I will keep fighting :D I think that even when I'm in my 50s-60s, I'll still care & still keep up the fight.
And to answer your other question, no, it's not so terrible to see my face as it really is in a magnified mirror, but why do I need to see it that way every day? It's like a scale - I don't need to weigh myself every day either. I actually like my face (for the most part ;-) ), but that doesn't mean that I need to inspect every nook & cranny of it.
 

jaysonsmom

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missy|1440709295|3920038 said:
Calliecake|1440704540|3920001 said:
Mom Happy, I could not agree with you more about the magnified mirror. The only problem is without it I would not be able to put on my make up. Well I guess I could but it would not end being where it should be. One of the many joys of being in your fifties.

I took my very first selfie yesterday. I haven't taken a picture of any kind in a few years and was going to send my picture to an online girlfriend. I always avoid cameras at all cost. Do selfies make your nose look bigger? My nose looks huge but they do say your nose and ears get bigger as you age. Another wonderful joy of aging....NOT! Needless to say I most certainly will never take another selfie. I didn't even get up the nerve to send the darn picture.

Junebug, One of my neighbors commented that I didn't look like the same person that is in my wedding pictures. I was devastated but then about two week later I was dropping off something for the same friend. They were having some painting done in their home at the time. The painting company owner had dropped by to check out the work. He walked in the room and said Callie How the heck are you?
I had not seen this guy for over 35 years. I figured I must not have changed that much if some person I knew in High School knew it was me right away. Just because one person made a comment like that doesn't mean others would not recognize you right away.

Haha yes yes they do. LOL.

jaysonsmom said:
I was re-reading this thread today and talking to a coworker about it.... I still stand by what I posted earlier about still feeling pretty good about my face and body....when said coworker reminded me that you can always tell a woman's age from her hands and neck. Well, gosh darn it! I thought I could get away with saying I'm 10 years younger than my actual age, but apparently my neck giving my age away! Anyone know a good remedy for sagging neck skin?

Do you moisturize your neck? That is supposed to help and of course wearing sunscreen. Have you read that book by Nora Ephron? Hysterical. "I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman"
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/27/books/27masl.html?_r=0

Just read the NYtimes review. Sounds like a hoot. Will have to get the book! Thanks!

I have been moisturizing my neck for about 6 months, only because I noticed the beginnings of a turkey neck....I'm almost 43, so literally a few months away from hiding my neck forever according to Ms. Ephron!
 

jaysonsmom

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momhappy|1440709768|3920045 said:
Chrono|1440696812|3919929 said:
Why are we fighting a losing battle? Why is it so difficult for most women to accept aging as a natural process and that by the time we at 80, there's really nothing to be done about it? This is puzzling for me as I've never bothered with such things. Even if one slows it down with surgery and what not, how long can time be staved off? Is it such a terrible thing to see your face as it really is in a magnified mirror?

I think I see 2 different sides to this. Those in the 30s and 40s are very concerned with their physical image but those in their 50s and 60s, having lived through that period before, are more concerned with mental and physical health as they understand there's only so much you can do to make yourself look younger and we know that it is impossible for a 60 year old to ever look like a 30 year old.

Because for me, fighting the battle (even if it is an uphill one) means that I'm trying/fighting. The alternative is not trying/not fighting, which is equivalent to giving up/quitting.
I am not anywhere near ready to give up the fight. I still feel young, I still care what I look like, I still want to be pretty. Therefore, I will keep fighting :D I think that even when I'm in my 50s-60s, I'll still care & still keep up the fight.
And to answer your other question, no, it's not so terrible to see my face as it really is in a magnified mirror, but why do I need to see it that way every day? It's like a scale - I don't need to weigh myself every day either. I actually like my face (for the most part ;-) ), but that doesn't mean that I need to inspect every nook & cranny of it.

Totally agree. I will be right there fighting alongside you!
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Messages
53,978
momhappy|1440709768|3920045 said:
Chrono|1440696812|3919929 said:
Why are we fighting a losing battle? Why is it so difficult for most women to accept aging as a natural process and that by the time we at 80, there's really nothing to be done about it? This is puzzling for me as I've never bothered with such things. Even if one slows it down with surgery and what not, how long can time be staved off? Is it such a terrible thing to see your face as it really is in a magnified mirror?

I think I see 2 different sides to this. Those in the 30s and 40s are very concerned with their physical image but those in their 50s and 60s, having lived through that period before, are more concerned with mental and physical health as they understand there's only so much you can do to make yourself look younger and we know that it is impossible for a 60 year old to ever look like a 30 year old.

Because for me, fighting the battle (even if it is an uphill one) means that I'm trying/fighting. The alternative is not trying/not fighting, which is equivalent to giving up/quitting. I am not anywhere near ready to give up the fight. I still feel young, I still care what I look like, I still want to be pretty. Therefore, I will keep fighting :D I think that even when I'm in my 50s-60s, I'll still care & still keep up the fight.

I hope you won't feel that way momhappy as you age. That it is an uphill battle. That you are going to war. That's a challenging way to live.

Life can be such a struggle already and I see some women absolutely miserable when things beyond their control appearance wise changes how they feel about themselves. In fact I know 2 women (not well) who committed suicide as they aged because they were so very unhappy with the change in their appearance as they got older. Such a tragic thing and so terribly sad for their families who valued them for so much more than their appearance.

It doesn't seem healthy putting that much importance on one's physical appearance . I'm with Chrono. What is important is remaining healthy and strong in body and mind. Being able to enjoy what you love doing with whom you love doing it.

I am not saying don't take care of yourself but just don't place too much importance on your appearance because there is only so much you can control. Instead cherish the fact you are strong, healthy and able to enjoy time with your dh, kids and loved ones. Remember there is a middle ground. You can take care of yourself and maximize your appearance but don't place too much importance on it where it can make you feel badly about yourself.

FWIW my dermatologist told me that even when I am 80 I will still care about my appearance. It is just the way things are. So I do understand. But all I am saying is don't place too much meaning/importance on your appearance or you will end up unhappy eventually. Keep it in perspective.
 
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