Kids say/do the darndest things!

[luckystar112]

Do you have any silly stories about what you did when you were little? Or maybe you know a kid that did something funny?

I have a few...all of them things I said/did as a child.


Let''s see...there was the time that my mom caught me using my father''s jock itch cream as toothpaste. (He got in BIG trouble for leaving that out. lol)

I used to think "Living on a prayer" by Bon Jovi was "Living on my hair" and I''d sing it all around town with my mother.
(My dad was a wanna-be 80''s band singer so I was an MTV baby. Actually, he''s still kind of stuck in that decade. lol.)

I was really confused when my mother told me that we were going camping on my grandfather''s winnebago. I thought my grandfather was trying to win a bagel!!

Then there was the time my friends and I played the "where''s my mommy" game, where we''d tell complete strangers that we couldn''t find our mothers. lol.

I''m sure there''s more. I was silly.

 

[door knob solitaire]

Those are too cute!!

I was in the attic once with my daddy and asked what that was...he said it was the Flu...I said, "Aw...it doesn''t look sick..I hope it feels better real soon".

Sesame Street Live cam to our city to perform...We took our 4 year old nephew. When we picked him up he was pulling his bicycle to the car...we told him we wouldn''t need it...he said "Yes you do...you have to ride down the street". Needless to say the stage performance was not what he expected.

back to me...song Lyrics: "Blinded by the light wrapped up like a douch bag..."

Lamziedozeanddozeedotsandlittlelamziedievy,akiddleedivytoowoundntyou? (I was oh...maybe 22 before I actually got it)

People: I thought Donnie and Marie Osmond were it. I wanted to be part of a couple that looked just alike...just like them. ...I THOUGHT THEY WERE MARRIED!!!

Oh just the other day my husband said..."Come back when you can''t stay so long"....I have heard that a million times...but the other day I ACTUALLY HEARD IT. I got it! By jove I''VE GOT IT!!! I was rolling on the floor laughing.

So you see...with me...the story doesn''t have to be that Kids say/do the darnest things!

DKS

 

[belle]

Date: 7/11/2007 8:57:01 PM
Author: door knob solitaire

Lamziedozeanddozeedotsandlittlelamziedievy,akiddleedivytoowoundntyou? (I was oh...maybe 22 before I actually got it)

grrrrrrr......i can''t get that song out of my head now!

 

[Kaleigh]

Our next door neighbors were selling their house. A very nice couple comes through to look at the house. My son took a look at them, and pipes up, " well there goes the neighborhood!!"
He was only 4!!!

 

[Miranda]

As a child I was very naughty and always doing funny things. My poor parents had a hard time being angry with me sometimes...Other times it was not so difficult. I''ve got a really funny one.

I was about 3 at the ice cream shop with my VERY proper grandparents when I passed gas. I just kept on eating my ice cream ignoring my grandmother insisting that I say excuse me. I guess I got fed up with her persistence because I stood on my chair and at the top of my three year old lungs I shouted, "EXCUSE ME PLEASE. I FARTED!!!!!" My poor grandmother just about died. I still remember it. Her eyes were the size of saucers. I don''t think she ever corrected me again.

And that story pretty much sums up my personality to this day...If you push me too far, you will be very, very sorry! LOL!!!

 

[strmrdr]

what do you get when you cross a wire controlled car (anyone remember those?) and an electric toothbrush?
A floor scrubber....
it made sense at the time LOL

 

[Miranda]

On my son''s first day of pre-school at snack time he was given a pre-packaged rice crispy treat. He asked the teacher if it had hydrogenated oil in it. She read the packaging and told him it did. He handed it back to her and matter-of-factly said, "Well, then I''m not eating it."

He is a health nut (like his dad) to this day. He would go hungry before he would eat junk. He is constantly nagging me about what I should and should not be eating because I''m anemic. He reads packaging when we go to the store and tells me what has a high iron level. He''s 13 now and his plan is to be a Dr. He''ll make a great one!

 

[musey]

For some reason, I liked to embarrass my mother when I was young! My mom LOVES to tell this particular story...

I used to BEG to sleep in my brothers' closet (it was set up as a little "hideaway" for me, with a mattress and tons of stuffed animals/blankets/etc.) instead of my own bed every day when I was 3. One day, in the checkout line of the grocery store, I turned to my mom and in the saddest (and also inappropriately loud) voice, said: "Mom, you're not going to make me sleep in the closet again tonight... are you?"

She said she got the NASTIEST looks from the cashiers and other customers, and she could tell by the look on my face that I was trying to mess with her

What a little troublemaker I was!


I was cute too--sometimes

I used to always sing that little jingle "After these messages we'll be--riiiight back!" every time I left a room!

 

[monarch64]

LOL! these stories are too funny!

I used to go to the grocery store with my mother and wander away from her and the cart...then I would grab onto some stranger''s cart thinking it was my mom''s and I would quickly discover it wasn''t--I would be so embarrassed!

I always had to have a purse and a matching strand of cheapo plastic beads on wherever I was going before I started school. My dad used to call me "fashion plate," which I thought was so cool. I was known to strike a pose on command.

 

[princesss]

My BF loves to tell the story of his cousin''s first "big boy" visit to the doctor.

The kid was sitting on the table, and the doctor got to the "big boy" part of the exam, and BF''s cousin didn''t say a thing. After the exam was over he was sitting on the table, looking at the doctor, and asked, "Does your wife know you do this?"

"Does she know I do what?" the doctor asked.

"Touch little boys'' winkies."


As far as what I did...not sure. I used to pronounce Italian Italy-an. Don''t know about anything else.

 

[musey]

LOL, princesss, that is just too funny. I''m gonna have to tell my dad that one (he''s a doctor, he''d think it was the funniest thing!)

 

[lumpkin]

Heeeheee. I'm NOT telling on myself, but I will tell on my kids.

My youngest one has recently gotten into Spongebob and we watched the Spongebob Movie the other day when it was rainy out. He made me download the Goofy Goober song and we had to sing along with it while he pretended to play the drums. OMG, I hope no one ever looks in the window when we do that! ETA: I almost forgot the funniest part. He made Spongebob's sunglasses for himself out of legos.

About a year ago we went over to my SIL's house and the boys were found snooping around in her husband's office, much to my shame and chagrin. Right before our next visit there we had a little discussion with them about respecting other people's things. We had barely walked in when my younger boy said, loudly and very ernestly, in front of everyone, "Uncle David, I just need to tell you something. We won't go into your office and get into things today because we know better now." I think he said it several times.

When my older one was learning to talk he used to call his toy hammer "Habb'm." It was really cute but I guess you had to be there. He also laughed like a Frenchman, "Hoh hoh hoh hoh." I wish we had that on film, it really was funny.

 

[luckystar112]

When I was little I used to toot everytime someone would tickle me. I was the laughing stock of every family get together. They would all take turns tickling me, I''d fart, and they''d all drop to their knees in laughter. ADULTS!


Thank God I grew out of that. lol

 

[divergrrl]

I don''t think I can type out what I acutally said in mine, so I''ll doctor it up to be palatable for a wide audience.

When I was 3 years old, we used to live next door to a house with a bunch of hippies in them. Well I was always drawn to the music coming from their house, so one evening I waltzed out of my house & breezed in their front door.

Cliff (the main neighbor...I still remember him) looks at me and says, "Well Little Miss Jeannine, where on earth did you come from?"

I looked him square in the eye and replied:

"From my mother''s va-........." (insert clinical term for female parts here)

Yeah...I was a precocious one. Not afraid to say anything.

Nothing''s changed.

 

[marvel]

Here's one that my mom loves to tell:

I have one of those mean older brothers. He's 11 years older and loved to torment me. So one day I got out my paper and pencil and said, "(mean brothers name), I'm writing you a letter. How do you spell hate?"

 

[justjulia]

One of the young children I taught years ago informed me one time that her parents were "twitterpaited."

(She meant "in love" as in Bambi! Is "twitterpaited" a real word?)

 

[Maisie]

My son Sam was about six when he said to me ''mummy - when you were a little girl was everything in black and white?''

 

[Joolskie]

When my oldest son was about 3-years-old, we were sitting at the table during a family dinner. At one point, my nephew turned to my brother-in-law and said "Daddy, could you please pass the potatoes."

My son got all wide eyed, glanced at his uncle, then looked at my husband and said "DADDY?!? He has the same name as you!"

He now understands that all parents have names other than Mommy and Daddy. LOL!

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 7/12/2007 7:10:53 AM
Author: Maisie
My son Sam was about six when he said to me 'mummy - when you were a little girl was everything in black and white?'

Maisie,
that is funny!!!!


On time I was baby sitting one of my favorite kids to babysit. The little girl was about 3 yrs old. She looked at me and then told me in front of people while we were out at lunch "you are pretty but what is that small valcano on your nose?" I had a zit!

 

[nytemist]

This thread is too funny!

I used to follow my father everywhere he went (the store, yard work, working on the car). Most of you probably remember Grossman''s stores with all the building supplies, cabinets and all that. He would go to buy lumber, as he was into woodworking and I would wander around the store (back in the day when you didn''t worry about someone kidnapping your child) Well, I was in the lawn furniture section and tripped on something and fell. Now dad would sometimes do the whole ''I''ll kiss it and make it better'' thing when I hurt myself. Since I fell down on my butt, when I found him I asked would he kiss my butt.

When my niece was young, about 6 years old, her father brought her by our house for the weekend. He and my mom started talking about maybe going to an amusement park. Jokingly, he asked my mom would she ride any rides. My niece looked at her father and said "no daddy, she can''t... her teeth will fall out!" Her dad was completely speechless. Apparently, she had overheard my parents saying something about loose dentures.

When I was a teen, I had this great black denim mini skirt ( hey, it was the eighties).I was coming home from school and passed by my neighbors house. I was talking to the mom for a bit (I used to sometimes babysit the baby daughter) and her son was standing there, he was about 4 or 5 at the time. He saw the crease in the skirt and says "momma! she has a pee-pee too!"

 

[asscherisme]

My 3 year old daughter insists that her bathing suit is called a babysuit. "Mommy lets go swimming, where is my babysuit?"

And she calls sunscrean sunscream. "Mommy, don't forget the sunscream".

Even though I correct her, she insists its called babysuit and sunscream.

My older kids think its beyond cute.


When my now 10 year old son was about two, he would point at random men and say "theres my daddy!". Whether the man was alone or with a wife/girlfriend it did not matter. My son would call them daddy.

Yes, I was the town hussie (LOL thats how it made me feel when my son did that. My husband thought it was funny but it embarrased me!)

 

[Erin]

My Aunt likes to tell how she used to tote me around, not having any children of her own yet, and one of these times was to the grocery store when I was about three. While in the checkout lane she asked me if I wanted some candy. Of course with all the choices and Mom never let me have candy, I was taking a long time to decide. She said, here, what about a Snickers. I turned to her and put my hands on my hips and said, Nooooo cause I don''t like Penis. I don''t like Penis now and I will never like Penis. Nooooo Penis. Anything that doesn''t have Penis. (peanuts)

 

[Joolskie]

Oooo, I have another one!

My husband and I were newly married when one day we were hanging out at my sister-in-law''s house. My mother-in-law was there too. DH and I were chatting with my then 6-year-old niece about the "secret santa" they were doing at school. She told us that she gave a gift to a little boy in her class. We asked what she gave him and she said...

"I gave him a woody."

DH and I looked at each other and then looked at my mother-in-law who just sat there. We did not have kids yet. So, we were not familiar with the movie TOY STORY!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!! Yes, my niece gave her little friend a Woody, as in the character from Toy Story. Once we made this realization, we quickly got our minds out of the gutter.

 

[phoenixgirl]

This is probably TMI, but one time my mom had a bunch of ladies from church over playing bridge, and my dad was having some stomach upset and gas upstairs where I was playing (I was 2). So I went to the top of the stairs and yelled out, "Daddy went stinky in his big girl pants!" Apparently I hadn''t caught on that only girls wear "big girl pants."

BTW, I don''t know which of my parents came up with the euphemisms of "go stinky" and "go tinkle," but they are far too descriptive for my tastes. I think "go poo" and "go pee" will suffice when I have kids.

My neice is 2 and she is obsessed with dresses and wearing high heels. One of her first phrases was when she picked up my BIL''s pants, hugged them, and said, "My daddy''s dress." Funny how little kids'' minds work. She is also very obsessed with cleanliness (which is funny because her parents aren''t). I changed her pull-ups last week and she was very concerned with helping me clean up the "yuckies," so perhaps that''s what it''s called in her house. Yucky is definitely an improvement over stinky.

 

[Lynn B]

This thread is too funny!

When my son was not quite 2, he was rooting through my night stand drawer looking for a crayon and he came across a small, square, foil package (a condom). Of course he held it up and asked plainly, "What's THIS?" Well... I had just read the chapter in the "Raising Children" book that said to always answer their questions briefly, but honestly.

So I answered simply, "A condom." He kinda nodded, put it back, found what he wanted in the drawer, and toddled off; that was the end of it. I felt very proud and smug and thought I was doing a fine job as a young mother!

Flash forward 3 weeks... he and I were at our neighborhood bank, on a very crowded senior citizen day, and after my banking was done, the teller offered my son a small, square, foil wrapped package of Sweet-Tarts. With an angelic little smile, and in a clear, strong little voice, he replies loudly, "OH, thank you! A CONDOM!!!"

 

[lumpkin]

Oh, Lynn, that''s funny! Toddlers are adorable like that.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 7/12/2007 2:04:25 PM
Author: phoenixgirl
This is probably TMI, but one time my mom had a bunch of ladies from church over playing bridge, and my dad was having some stomach upset and gas upstairs where I was playing (I was 2). So I went to the top of the stairs and yelled out, 'Daddy went stinky in his big girl pants!' Apparently I hadn't caught on that only girls wear 'big girl pants.'

BTW, I don't know which of my parents came up with the euphemisms of 'go stinky' and 'go tinkle,' but they are far too descriptive for my tastes. I think 'go poo' and 'go pee' will suffice when I have kids.

My neice is 2 and she is obsessed with dresses and wearing high heels. One of her first phrases was when she picked up my BIL's pants, hugged them, and said, 'My daddy's dress.' Funny how little kids' minds work. She is also very obsessed with cleanliness (which is funny because her parents aren't). I changed her pull-ups last week and she was very concerned with helping me clean up the 'yuckies,' so perhaps that's what it's called in her house. Yucky is definitely an improvement over stinky.

LOL

 

[poshpepper]

OMG these are all too funny!!!!!

Thank you everyone for the laughs.
I need to remember some of mine... for some reason I cant remember off the top of my head but that might be because I just got done reading all of yours.

 

[Joolskie]

Date: 7/12/2007 4:42:48 PM
Author: Lynn B
This thread is too funny!


When my son was not quite 2, he was rooting through my night stand drawer looking for a crayon and he came across a small, square, foil package (a condom). Of course he held it up and asked plainly, ''What''s THIS?'' Well... I had just read the chapter in the ''Raising Children'' book that said to always answer their questions briefly, but honestly.

So I answered simply, ''A condom.'' He kinda nodded, put it back, found what he wanted in the drawer, and toddled off; that was the end of it. I felt very proud and smug and thought I was doing a fine job as a young mother!

Flash forward 3 weeks... he and I were at our neighborhood bank, on a very crowded senior citizen day, and after my banking was done, the teller offered my son a small, square, foil wrapped package of Sweet-Tarts. With an angelic little smile, and in a clear, strong little voice, he replies loudly, ''OH, thank you! A CONDOM!!!''

Lynn... that is too funny!

And of course, it reminded me of yet another incident involving my son. When I was pregnant with my younger son, my older son (then 3) had lots of interesting questions. One day, he looked up at me with my big belly and asked "Mommy, were you that big after you swallowed me and I grew in your tummy?"

Well, I was prepared with my simple and terminology correct answer. I explained that mommies and daddies make babies. And that mommies have a special place inside their bodies called a uterus. Babies, I told him, grow in a mommy''s uterus and not in a mommy''s tummy. My son was cool with this and we went about our day.

A few days later, we were in Kohls and an older woman commented to my son how cute he was. My son looked up at her and proudly announced "MY NAME IS RYAN AND I GREW IN MY MOMMY''S UTERUS!"

The woman stared at him with a stunned look and said "wow, that is quite a vocabulary you have there." LOL!!!