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Job satisfaction question.

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Gypsy

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How important is it to like what you are doing?

I mean. Well...I''ve always been told by my parents that ambition and money and prestige are the most important things, and if I have a choice between one job that I would ''like'' and one that I wouldn''t like but is better in terms of money, position etc... I should take the one with the bling. That I''m young and smart and I should make sacrifices to lifestyle, and everything in order to have a more comfortable life when I''m older. That if I go for a lower prestige job because I would ''like'' it more-- I''m being lazy and irresponsible.

And well... this is the static-- the script I was raised with. And I think the script is well... screwing me up.

What are your thoughts? IF you can''t have both . If you have to choose one path-- job you like or job that will get you ahead financially-- which do you think you should choose... and which would you tell your children to choose?
 

decodelighted

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That you would "LIKE" more, as in find more GRATIFYING or as in "easier" or "less scary". I only ask because I've read you other threads where you've mentioned depressive tendencies & possible current state - and I find myself less willing to do "scary stuff" or tolerate "growing, learning, uncomfortable stages" of something when I am depressed.

I try to select jobs by the following critera
-- will I learn something new that will be valuable to me later
-- is it a generally supportive environment (versus toxic, over-wrought, revolving-door)
-- do I have "the stuff" to do the job (NOT have I already done it)
-- does it pay the redundently aweome cash money
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ETA: in our parents' day, a lot of these job decisions were 10 year, 15 year, 40 year choices. Today it's more like six months, a year! You have more freedom to try out your own values ... pick once, then pick again if it doesn't work for you. It doesn't have to be "get ahead" or "fall behind". Sometimes it's enough to tread water.
 

justjulia

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This hits pretty close to home for me. My father is always saying the same thing as yours-be famous, make money. I have a brother who hosts a tv show, another doing nasa work, etc... and I work in a school. All I hear is how the others are doing and my dad actually came out and said it was all about money. My dh can''t understand how I can''t seem to break away from how it makes me feel, but what you grow up with is deeply entrenched in you-your parent are your parents, no matter what. All I can do is tell my children otherwise, but I have to be careful and not send similar messages. Both of my children are gifted, and I am always telling them to go for the stars. It doesn''t mean they have to make gobs of money. Somewhere there''s got to be a happy medium, right? My dh came from a family of 10 siblings, and I marvel at his comfortableness in his own skin, even though they were all very competitive.
 

Gemklctr

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I''ve always subscribed to the exact opposite, and have emphasized that to my kids. Any kind of professional/career-oriented position is going to be too demanding of your time to be justified solely by material returns, at least IMHO. It''s not a matter of being lazy or unmotivated, or lacking responsibility, it is critical to a happy life. Of course, everyone has to make some compromises in balancing work, family and personal interests, and financial rewards factor into that balance, but I can''t imagine, taking your situation for example, accepting a legal job with all of the hours and stress that is likely to entail just for the money/prestige of the particular position.

On the other hand, a number of my classmates took jobs with big NY firms for the sole purpose of paying off their student loans before embarking on their desired legal careers. They planned to stay only for several years, and did not seek to make partner. It was simply part of their plan to achieve their real career goals, not a resignation to do something they hated forever just because of the money.
 

Mara

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I think part of how people view their jobs and careers has to do with their goals in life. How do they view their lives and what their purpose is here on the Earth.

For example, my darling husband and I have very different views on life and career. Greg is a total Type A personality, MBA mentality, driven, productive, work isn't really work unless it's somehow torturing you...
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For me, I am all about being happy. Life for me is about being happy. So my work is just a means to an end. It makes other things in life possible. I really don't think much about work on the weekends or at night and for the most part I don't bring it home with me. Greg obsesses about work when he is not there, and talks about it all the time at home. Much of which is complaining. He also seems to identify fairly strongly with his work, his position at work, how stressful it all is...whereas I identify fairly strongly with how my life is outside of work. He doesn't view life as 'you are supposed to be happy' but rather 'how productive are you' as a member of society kind of thing.

So anyhow, we tend to balance each other out most of the time...because if it were not for him I'd probably just float around in a cloud of happiness all the time,...and if it was not for me he'd probably be a bundle of stress and nerves with no outlet for fun or happiness or any inclination to do anything nice for himself. Sometimes I wish he was more like me and I know sometimes he wishes I was more like him...because I'd probably make more money if I was as driven as he is (I'm in sales so the sky is the limit on my potential, but I don't feel like 'overworking'...hehee).

Is any of this making sense?! I feel like I am babbling. Anyway...I think that you should look within yourself to find out what is important to you. I was always very grateful I never had any sort of DRIVE to be something, aka an artist or a writer or anything because I prefer to not identify strongly with a passion that is going to have to be my 'making a living'. I was lucky enough to find a niche in Marketing for 7 years and do my thing, being creative and only fairly stifled, and meeting great people, making great money etc. I never really had too much stress and I had enough money. It was never super important for me to love my job, but it was important I didn't hate it because then I wouldn't be 'happy' in life. Whereas Greg would love to love his job, but would settle for just not hating it...because he goes in waves right now with how stressful it has been in the last 6 months. But he can't seem to pull himself out of that cycle and he also doesn't believe 'work' shouldn't be quite so much...well...work!!

I couldn't imagine hating my job so badly that I felt like I was trapped. I would have to leave. But I also am not the type to want to sacrifice my outside life for more money. I also was not the driven type to go to MBA school or anything like that...I couldn't deal with all the schooling or the committment etc. Plus I just don't have that kind of drive.

That said, my parents are kind of like Greg and I. My dad identifies strongly with his position and career and the money he makes, and my mom is more like me in that she works to live outside of the job.
 

Gypsy

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I''d like to find a happy medium. I would but well... I''m not sure I know how to. I really enjoy land use/ municipal zoning law, for example-- I enjoyed it from an academic/legislative POV when was working in the field... and I think would like the challenges of practricing it for a while in a medium/small firm. But well... I haven''t had any luck with finding a position like that... and the best way to get in at these firms is to temp. Unfortunately, though I have 4 agencies looking for opportunities for me, as well as my own search for a place to get my foot in the door, nothing has turned up.

And now I''m offered these postions... neither of which will lead me to that path... but well, I can''t sit at home anymore and I want to work-- need to work and feel productive and useful. I''m afraid that by taking one of them... I''ll never get there. My resume will just look scattered-- jumping from one field to the next with no thought or reason. But again... I don''t know that anything is going to turn up.

On top of it... I want to like what I''m doing. Products liabilty/pharm litigation was just miserable. I don''t know enough about insurance litigation to make an informed choice. I''ve been talking to people all day about it... as well as doing on-line research. And my conclusion is. I want a positon where I can practice real estate land use-- or work in legislative bill drafting-- also for land use and urban planning.

That would be my happy medium. But well... I don''t know how to get there. And these opportunities are in front of me now. But I almost feel like if I take them... I''ll never get what where I want to go. But if I don''t... I''ll be stuck depressed at home twidling my thumbs.

I LIKE working. Sick... but true.
 

sumbride

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Mara -

You and Greg sound almost exactly like M and me. He''s the "work work work" guy and I work for a non-profit, thus having a 35 hour work week, and no intention of leaving my industry. I''m in IT, so I could make a lot more if I worked in the corporate world, but I''d have to work evenings and weekends and I have no desire to do that. He kind of understands but I think if he realized exactly how much more I could make in corporate he''d really be upset with me! Ah well, I value my time more than money.

My parents own a manufacturing company and work 24-7. When they aren''t physically at the company, they''re talking about it, traveling to promote it, etc.... And they''ve been doing that for 30 years. I definitely grew up with a work ethic, but when you work for yourself, you have to love it, passion is the only thing that makes you answer the phone at 3 am and head in to the factory for an emergency. I''m just not that interested in databases. Not yet anyway.

Sum
 

justjulia

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Date: 7/20/2006 1:59:18 PM
Author: Gypsy
I''d like to find a happy medium. I would but well... I''m not sure I know how to. I really enjoy land use/ municipal zoning law, for example-- I enjoyed it from an academic/legislative POV when was working in the field... and I think would like the challenges of practricing it for a while in a medium/small firm. But well... I haven''t had any luck with finding a position like that... and the best way to get in at these firms is to temp. Unfortunately, though I have 4 agencies looking for opportunities for me, as well as my own search for a place to get my foot in the door, nothing has turned up.

And now I''m offered these postions... neither of which will lead me to that path... but well, I can''t sit at home anymore and I want to work-- need to work and feel productive and useful. I''m afraid that by taking one of them... I''ll never get there. My resume will just look scattered-- jumping from one field to the next with no thought or reason. But again... I don''t know that anything is going to turn up.

On top of it... I want to like what I''m doing. Products liabilty/pharm litigation was just miserable. I don''t know enough about insurance litigation to make an informed choice. I''ve been talking to people all day about it... as well as doing on-line research. And my conclusion is. I want a positon where I can practice real estate land use-- or work in legislative bill drafting-- also for land use and urban planning.

That would be my happy medium. But well... I don''t know how to get there. And these opportunities are in front of me now. But I almost feel like if I take them... I''ll never get what where I want to go. But if I don''t... I''ll be stuck depressed at home twidling my thumbs.

I LIKE working. Sick... but true.
For me, I started after grad school at a prestigious and demanding rehabilitation facility. I wasn''t sure it would lead where I wanted to go, but it was stimulating and I learned to think on my feet (speech pathology). Working with brain injuries helped build another foundation that I would need later on. I made excellent money at that facility, but I worked til late, did lengthy dr''s reports, filed insurance, and was basically worn out. Years later, now I work for a private school. The pay is awful, but I get tuition for my children as a perk, my day is short and I don''t work every day, the work is stimulating and endearing, and it''s a prestigious job in my small town, all things considered. So, I did find my happy medium. I only wish I could get it out of my head that I need to do something to get my father''s seal of approval. Are the agencies you are referring to like headhunters? What about contacting where you went to school for possible internships with a firm doing what you dream of? Or, you just take the scary job and see what you might learn. You can always put in your polite resignation when the agency finds THE job you really want.
 

Madam Bijoux

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For me, a job is a means to an end. I have always taken the best-paying job (considering salary and benefits) whether or not I liked it as long as the stress didn''t make me ill or affect my personality. When the aggravation outweighs the money and benefits, it''s time to consider a different job.
 

Mara

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gypsy...when i was younger i never really was into ''the right job''...also when i was younger i did a lot of ladder climbing, so i was only at jobs for 1-2 years each as i gathered whatever knowledge and information i could and then moved onto the next job. so i took everything as kind of a ''learning opportunity'' and gauged how good it would look on my resume. i think now that i am older i am more about the right job because i have enough experience to be more picky, but when starting out i was willing to do most anything in my industry as long as i was learning something.

one of my neighbors is a youngish early 20''s gal who is finishing up college and she''s in graphic design. she was complaining to me she can''t find a summer job because they were all basically so plebian and low level and she had way too much experience for those kinds of jobs, oh and they only pay ''$20 a hour which is so low''. i was thinking gosh when i was in college....i took all sorts of temp jobs for $15 an hour or whatever doing admin work or finance assistant or whatever because i liked to work, i liked to be in corporations in the tech industry, i learned a lot, it kept me busy and it paid the bills. so here she is...in month 2 of her summer break complaining how she doesn''t have money and can''t find a job and yet i am thinking but you think you are too fabulous for these other jobs. i asked her, would any of these look good on your resume? would any of them pay the rent? could you manage to stomach to do them for 2 months rather than sit around here complaining that you can''t find something? i asked her if she had called marketing temp agencies because they typically had some graphic design jobs OR clients who may know of them. i told her to email marketing agencies that do things like design etc because even if they don''t need assistance, maybe one of their clients needs contract assistance. i told her not to hold out for $5 more an hour just on principle. it was amazing to me that no one had told her this already...not like i am the bastion of all wisdom but i managed to work in some huge corporations when i was younger, make some good money for college age kid and i learned tons from just being in that big corporate environment.

anyway...i think there IS a balance when you are weighing the future job and what it holds, but if you are young there is always more to be learned and better additions to the resume. i don''t think doing something ''for now'' will keep you from getting into the dream job later..just keep your eyes and ears open and move from the ''placeholder'' job when the time is right.
 

Gypsy

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Mara. Thank you. I needed that. I am planning on taking whichever of the two is offered to me. But well... I was worried. It''s funny you said that about the girl and her pickiness. When I was talking to the agency about the two jobs...they were like-- well, you would be doing some paralegal work in job #2... and I was like: Um. So? And they mentioned that apparently many lawyers have a problem with that. I was like-- no problems here. Heck senior paralegals do lawyer stuff all the time. Why should a junior inexperienced attorney be above paralegal duties. Bring it on! I''m definitely not too good for anything reasonable. This firm has a nice culture... I felt the difference within a half hour of being there... and for me, that''s more important than a bigger firm name, or a slightly higher wage. Again, the agency lady was surprised by that. And well... her surprise was what started my doubts.
 

CaptAubrey

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My $0.02: When you''re getting started out in this field, the decisions you make can make a big difference down the road. Lawyers have a tendency to pigeonhole each other based on practice experience, and there are a lot of firms--probably most--that would rather take recent graduates and train them than hire a lateral with the wrong kind of experience in hope s/he can learn what they do. So my advice is to be careful about taking these "temporary" positions to pay the rent unless you''re planning on continuing to search for the "right" job on the side. Moving around a few times early in your career isn''t a resume stain; many lawyers do it before finding their niche--I certainly did. In some ways, I''m still working toward what I think would be the ideal job, ten years+ into practice.

The one thing you don''t want to do--and trust me on this one, parents notwithstanding--is to just take the flashiest, most prestigious, highest-paying big firm job simply for its own sake. You will burn out by 40, quit practice altogether, and sit around writing bad novels you can''t sell. That kind of work is extremely demanding, and unless you really love it or get something substantial out of it, it will kill you. You''re better off finding work you believe in and enjoy, because you will be more successful at it in the long run. This profession is just too hard otherwise.
 
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