I have Diamond Dismorphic Disorder... (aka: DSS)

[Puppy4248]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all the suggestions and ideas. And honestly, I like and am considering all of them.

Halos? Currently craving Victor's Anne Marie in a really big way. But I am concerned that I won't get to see the outline of my stone. But I know everyone says that a well done halo accentuates the center. I prefer halos where the center does not blend too much into the melee stones, but still do not want an airline. Still working out that one in my head.

Hide the little sucker for a while? Yup, forgot it in my cleaner today. Kinda works. I have to learn to miss it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

Saving up for an upgrade instead of putting a halo around it? Would love to. But I have to resist any big expenditures for a couple of years at least. Not an easy task.

Stop looking? Excellent idea, and the least expensive by far. So I'm staying off SMTB right now. Just not looking, especially not at Puppy's 4 carat asscher, which makes me need to wipe drool off my keyboard.

OMG... Thank you everyone. I know most of you have gone through it before. At least I've been loving my ring the past several days...

LLJsmom, so I am totally stalking you today on PS haha Not trying to, I promise! The title of this one just caught my eye.

Thank you for your kind words on my asscher, but please know that I truly mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say your ring is gorgeous and big! I ASSURE you, that thing is NOT small - and more importantly, it is blingtastically beautiful (maybe this forum isn't the right place to say this, and yes all jewels deserve to be coveted, but I have seen pieces particularly on celebs that make me think bigger DOESN'T necessarily mean better!). Further, I think your stack is completely drool worthy, and I would love to have one like yours one day (probably won't be able to, since the man doesn't like diamond bands ). If you do choose to eventually upgrade or halo it, I would understand your decision but please know that I am completely envious of your current baubles as is

 

[LLJsmom]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all the suggestions and ideas. And honestly, I like and am considering all of them.

Halos? Currently craving Victor's Anne Marie in a really big way. But I am concerned that I won't get to see the outline of my stone. But I know everyone says that a well done halo accentuates the center. I prefer halos where the center does not blend too much into the melee stones, but still do not want an airline. Still working out that one in my head.

Hide the little sucker for a while? Yup, forgot it in my cleaner today. Kinda works. I have to learn to miss it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

Saving up for an upgrade instead of putting a halo around it? Would love to. But I have to resist any big expenditures for a couple of years at least. Not an easy task.

Stop looking? Excellent idea, and the least expensive by far. So I'm staying off SMTB right now. Just not looking, especially not at Puppy's 4 carat asscher, which makes me need to wipe drool off my keyboard.

OMG... Thank you everyone. I know most of you have gone through it before. At least I've been loving my ring the past several days...

LLJsmom, so I am totally stalking you today on PS haha Not trying to, I promise! The title of this one just caught my eye.

Thank you for your kind words on my asscher, but please know that I truly mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say your ring is gorgeous and big! I ASSURE you, that thing is NOT small - and more importantly, it is blingtastically beautiful (maybe this forum isn't the right place to say this, and yes all jewels deserve to be coveted, but I have seen pieces particularly on celebs that make me think bigger DOESN'T necessarily mean better!). Further, I think your stack is completely drool worthy, and I would love to have one like yours one day (probably won't be able to, since the man doesn't like diamond bands ). If you do choose to eventually upgrade or halo it, I would understand your decision but please know that I am completely envious of your current baubles as is

Hi Puppy4248, first, thank you for taking the time to give me a little therapy. That you like my ring(s) means a lot. A lot, a lot. I'm happy with my stackers, and I don't feel like I need anymore.

About my ring? I'm like little Debbie Reynolds to your Liz Taylor. I haven't been on PS that long, but after a year and a half, when I saw your ring, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I have loved other rings before, but your ring is the realization of the amorphous vision I had of my ideal ring. If I had the courage NOT to choose a MRB, the patience to look for such a beautifully cut asscher, and the vision to set it the way you did, that would be it for me. Unfortunately, I had none of these. My stone was an impulse buy, which also almost gave my husband an instant heart attack. If I had spent more time and allowed myself more time to figure out what I really wanted, I probably would have ended up with something very different. I have always loved step cuts, and asschers are my favorite. I just was worried that I would miss the sparkle of a round. And I did not trust my gut. I should have.

The biggest question is whether to reset in a year, or save for a longer time to upgrade the stone. If I can get some peace with my ring as it is, I will have an easier time to save up for an upgrade. I just need to focus on being grateful for what I have. I don't like that I am not.

 

[LLJsmom]

I would say go for the matching stone... You decided earlier that studs would work for you.
Only problem with that, perhaps, is that it doesn't excite you maybe?
Like a semi- obligation, to match the stone.
You 'should' really do that first, to best enjoy your new piercings.
Well i think that makes sense.

But if the 'should' is getting you down, how about you look further afield.
By all means, keep saving for your studs...
But there's a whole world of jewellery out there and it's not all about colourless honkers!
(There's colourful honkers, and that's just the start).

If you're not excited, if you're not feeling fresh don't do it.
There can be a question of balance in jewellery design, so don't just race to upgrade in size in and of itself.

I came across the idea of a 'jewellery plan' recently. This was from blog by a Brisbane based manufacturing jeweller, Stephen Dibb.

I found his concept fascinating, but I guess as a jeweller he is 'across' jewellery and design that allows more foresight and planning.

The blog post is here. http://www.sdj.net.au/154/154/

Sorry not sure how to create the link as on my phone.

\

Hi Lara, thanks for your thoughtful advice, and your link to the jewelry plan. I kinda do have one, and I know I am a girl who needs one. I'm going to put it in my notes on my phone. That will remind me what my priorities are, when I get so easily distracted by the pretty things I see and then think, "Wouldn't it be great to have xxx?" If I don't get all crazy, but new bands, and everything else, I think I will be able to buy the items that will give me the greatest joy in the present and the long run, like another poster said, stand the test of TIME.

Speaking of which, I agree with you that my studs should be next. So many posters on that thread said their studs were "go to" on a daily basis. While I'm not excited about them now, I know that once I have 1.1 on each ear, I think I'll love it. And that is not too far off. I am hoping less than 12 months away.

And thank you for telling me not to jump on an upgrade right away (not that I can. my DH may file for divorce. I wonder if I get to keep my ring if he does??) You're totally right about the "design" aspect of it. I have no eye for what would look good. That is why I would never trust myself to design anything. I would just copy what others have created. And I have to be patient to see what I really like and keep coming back to. So just getting a bigger honker will not be whatever ideal I have created in my mind's eye.

Thanks. I'm working on my attitude of gratitude, as my closest friend would say.

 

[Puppy4248]

LLJsmom – I am glad you are happy with your stackers, I have no doubt that I am not alone in envying your set. Very dainty and sparkly

As for your ring (which you know I already think is just GORG and already big), you do realize that asschers face up a carat size smaller, right? So mine faces up like 3 on your 2.6… I know some people have incredible size sensitivity on here, but most probably aren’t that granular and in reality that’s just a few MILLIMETERS. If you do ever get an asscher, be prepared to sacrifice ct size for bold flashes of light! I sometimes still wonder what it would be like if I instead went for a round or OEC for my budget haha, but I make myself snap out of it.

Don’t forget, your diamond does look well cut and that probably helps it throw off a lot of light and make it look bigger, too! There have been quite a few times on here where I have seen some really well cut, set diamonds and I legit thought they were above 2 carats, and they ended up being less than 1.5 (thanks to PSers posting stats hahaha). I think that’s a function of cut, setting that accentuates the center stone (and probably finger size, but your fingers look small to me so don’t worry about that)…I digress, but you get the point… yours probably looks much bigger to other people than it does to you. Also, I read somewhere that the avg ct per ering in the US is 1 ct… may I remind you that your center rock is 150% larger?!?! I think everyone gets comfy with what they have and it’s natural to imagine “greener pastures”, but please take these points as reminders of why I think you should feel GREAT about your ring. I can say with confidence that if you don’t love it, I bet I can find tons of other girls who would gladly take it as their dream ring. It’s very sparkly with a big center stone. It’s in an awesome setting. As you already know, I am a fan!! So feel good about that.

As for settings – if you’re going to halo it, yep that obviously boosts the size really quick but make sure that is the actual setting you want, since it seems like an expensive option that may not really get to the heart of your issue. If it’s a size thing, have you considered going back to a thin solitaire setting like the one mom2boys has? That REALLY makes the stone pop and will forever be one of my faves. Perhaps your side stones could be used as studs! I love your setting as is, and the sidestones wonderfully blingify your ring to the max, but I can’t help but wonder if your center stone will look bigger without other rounds next to it? I can obviously tell your center one is the largest, but perhaps “taking out the competition” will make your center stone the star you want it to be. Or perhaps changing the sidestones to something that isn’t as “competitive” to your center stone? Not sure if that’s the right word. But something like baguettes where they add horizontal coverage while letting your main stone get the attention! And of course, putting it away for a bit always helps. Also, I don’t know what your schedule is like, but volunteering usually helps in terms of giving good life perspective if that’s all you want Lastly, did you have a memorable experience putting your current ring together? If so, think fondly of the time you got your ring… how you felt, how happy it made you. This ring carries ALL of that good stuff with it!! I’m in an area where lots of women have much bigger rocks actually… but I will always prefer mine, because mine comes with very specific, wonderful memories that no other rock will signify. I have a TINY everyday diamond pendant, and I refuse to upgrade that one too because of what it means to me. Of course we’re on PS and upgrades never hurt hahaha just my 2 cents on that topic if it helps.

As for your feelings on your ring as of late, I think it is a good thing that you are much more informed and aware of what would make you happy for the long run. Knowing yourself better is always a good thing in my opinion. Perhaps you decide it is best to wait things out and see if you still feel this way in a bit? Or maybe by then you decide you love it just the way it is… there are more than a few pieces of jewelry I have gone crazy for, but am now really glad I didn’t actually purchase.

OKAYYYY that was a lot, sorry to put you through that – how did it get so long?! I guess it’s because you’ve got a gorgeous ring and I REFUSE to let you beat yourself up over it!!! Get happy and keep us posted on what you decide!!!!

 

[LLJsmom]

LLJsmom – I am glad you are happy with your stackers, I have no doubt that I am not alone in envying your set. Very dainty and sparkly

As for your ring (which you know I already think is just GORG and already big), you do realize that asschers face up a carat size smaller, right? So mine faces up like 3 on your 2.6… I know some people have incredible size sensitivity on here, but most probably aren’t that granular and in reality that’s just a few MILLIMETERS. If you do ever get an asscher, be prepared to sacrifice ct size for bold flashes of light! I sometimes still wonder what it would be like if I instead went for a round or OEC for my budget haha, but I make myself snap out of it.

Don’t forget, your diamond does look well cut and that probably helps it throw off a lot of light and make it look bigger, too! There have been quite a few times on here where I have seen some really well cut, set diamonds and I legit thought they were above 2 carats, and they ended up being less than 1.5 (thanks to PSers posting stats hahaha). I think that’s a function of cut, setting that accentuates the center stone (and probably finger size, but your fingers look small to me so don’t worry about that)…I digress, but you get the point… yours probably looks much bigger to other people than it does to you. Also, I read somewhere that the avg ct per ering in the US is 1 ct… may I remind you that your center rock is 150% larger?!?! I think everyone gets comfy with what they have and it’s natural to imagine “greener pastures”, but please take these points as reminders of why I think you should feel GREAT about your ring. I can say with confidence that if you don’t love it, I bet I can find tons of other girls who would gladly take it as their dream ring. It’s very sparkly with a big center stone. It’s in an awesome setting. As you already know, I am a fan!! So feel good about that.

As for settings – if you’re going to halo it, yep that obviously boosts the size really quick but make sure that is the actual setting you want, since it seems like an expensive option that may not really get to the heart of your issue. If it’s a size thing, have you considered going back to a thin solitaire setting like the one mom2boys has? That REALLY makes the stone pop and will forever be one of my faves. Perhaps your side stones could be used as studs! I love your setting as is, and the sidestones wonderfully blingify your ring to the max, but I can’t help but wonder if your center stone will look bigger without other rounds next to it? I can obviously tell your center one is the largest, but perhaps “taking out the competition” will make your center stone the star you want it to be. Or perhaps changing the sidestones to something that isn’t as “competitive” to your center stone? Not sure if that’s the right word. But something like baguettes where they add horizontal coverage while letting your main stone get the attention! And of course, putting it away for a bit always helps. Also, I don’t know what your schedule is like, but volunteering usually helps in terms of giving good life perspective if that’s all you want Lastly, did you have a memorable experience putting your current ring together? If so, think fondly of the time you got your ring… how you felt, how happy it made you. This ring carries ALL of that good stuff with it!! I’m in an area where lots of women have much bigger rocks actually… but I will always prefer mine, because mine comes with very specific, wonderful memories that no other rock will signify. I have a TINY everyday diamond pendant, and I refuse to upgrade that one too because of what it means to me. Of course we’re on PS and upgrades never hurt hahaha just my 2 cents on that topic if it helps.

As for your feelings on your ring as of late, I think it is a good thing that you are much more informed and aware of what would make you happy for the long run. Knowing yourself better is always a good thing in my opinion. Perhaps you decide it is best to wait things out and see if you still feel this way in a bit? Or maybe by then you decide you love it just the way it is… there are more than a few pieces of jewelry I have gone crazy for, but am now really glad I didn’t actually purchase.

OKAYYYY that was a lot, sorry to put you through that – how did it get so long?! I guess it’s because you’ve got a gorgeous ring and I REFUSE to let you beat yourself up over it!!! Get happy and keep us posted on what you decide!!!!

Puppy, you are the sweetest and most thoughtful person. Thank you for pointing out so many lovely things about my ring. I do overlook and forget, in the midst of all the amazing PS bling, and am not grateful enough for my ring or the many blessings in my life. I really want to enjoy and appreciate my stone and ring. I do think the stone is so beautiful, when I can see the outline clearly.

And you, along with Laraonline, must have both crawled into my head. Because, today I stopped by a gorgeous jeweler in SF that carries Singlestone, and looked at some solitaire rings with skinny pave shanks. I was trolling the celebrity thread and kept coming back to certain sets that I thought looked so beautiful.

I love the skinny bright pave bands on these rings, and the matching skinny pave eternity bands.

Reese Witherspoon and Jessica Alba and Gwyneth Paltrow
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/updated-celebrity-rings.75052/page-228']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/updated-celebrity-rings.75052/page-228[/URL]

And for some reason I love the shank and ring as a whole. It just works.
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/updated-celebrity-rings.75052/page-206']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/updated-celebrity-rings.75052/page-206[/URL]

I tried on the sets below, and I love the one where the band and shank are almost the same width. What do you think? I'm kinda totally in love with it. I even took a pic with a halo. Didn't love the halo, but that may be because I prefer round in cushion rather than round in round. I can picture my stone in the skinny pave setting. They said they could go as small narrow as 1.5mm, but Victor Canera suggests a minimum of 1.8. So yes, I was thinking the same thing. The big side stones, major bling, but obscures my view of the stone. I wish I knew that I would not like it before I spent $$ on this current setting. Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out what I didn't want until I had it. But I was also thinking like you, I could turn my side stones into small studs until I get my big one, or save it for an eternity band. I don't see myself investing more into a 30 pointer eternity band, so maybe studs it is. So weird that you thought that too.







So to determine whether I really want to make this change, I am going to wait until late May. I'll give it more time to see if I still like this idea, and also I will be down closer to southern CA so I will drop by and visit Mr. Canera. If I am still convicted at that time, I will hopefully leave my ring there and have him do his magic. I definitely will need your consulting services in deciding on a setting, but I've been studying his website most studiously for the past year. If you have any suggestions or comments, please let me know.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Of the two, I'm a greater fan of the two skinny bands. I think a halo might do exactly what your current mounting is do for you now - obscure the stone. You have a great diamond and it is a very large stone - let it sing its song!!

 

[missy]

Of the two, I'm a greater fan of the two skinny bands. I think a halo might do exactly what your current mounting is do for you now - obscure the stone. You have a great diamond and it is a very large stone - let it sing its song!!

I agree with this. I think a solitaire can look bigger and better on its own much of the time. Depends on the diamond ofc but halos and sidestones while making the overall ring look bigger can detract from the main stone.

 

[LLJsmom]

True, a halo doesn't change the fact that it does obscure the center stone from a distance. If I had the center in a round bezel, like in the picture above, I can see the stone clearly. But I don't want round in round. I actually really covet twosanguineheart's VC emilya. VC said that with a bezeled center stone, the halo should follow the outline of the stone. I would just go with his opinion.

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/vc-emilya-halo-w-single-cut-multi-row-pave-pic-overload.185195/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/vc-emilya-halo-w-single-cut-multi-row-pave-pic-overload.185195/[/URL]

I love this setting and can also see my stone in this setting.

Here is a pic of a 2.17 carat center in a round halo. This finger coverage is also really tempting...


And in this pic, the halo does not obscure the center stone.

Does this change anything?? Geez, what to do...

And I just found out yesterday my stone is loose. It's shaking in the setting. I was at Eric Trabert and the SA there said, "Did you hear that?" Clearly I didn't. She shook my ring next to my ear and I heard the rattling. No wonder it was pulling out my hair recently!! It's a SIGN!!

(Well, I guess I'll try to enjoy the process, and get to look at all your solitaires in the mean time!! )

 

[Puppy4248]

True, a halo doesn't change the fact that it does obscure the center stone from a distance. If I had the center in a round bezel, like in the picture above, I can see the stone clearly. But I don't want round in round. I actually really covet twosanguineheart's VC emilya. VC said that with a bezeled center stone, the halo should follow the outline of the stone. I would just go with his opinion.

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/vc-emilya-halo-w-single-cut-multi-row-pave-pic-overload.185195/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/vc-emilya-halo-w-single-cut-multi-row-pave-pic-overload.185195/[/URL]

I love this setting and can also see my stone in this setting.

Here is a pic of a 2.17 carat center in a round halo. This finger coverage is also really tempting...


And in this pic, the halo does not obscure the center stone.

Does this change anything?? Geez, what to do...

And I just found out yesterday my stone is loose. It's shaking in the setting. I was at Eric Trabert and the SA there said, "Did you hear that?" Clearly I didn't. She shook my ring next to my ear and I heard the rattling. No wonder it was pulling out my hair recently!! It's a SIGN!!

(Well, I guess I'll try to enjoy the process, and get to look at all your solitaires in the mean time!! )

oooo! nice pics!! That must've been a fun afternoon re: studs, great minds think alike! I think that would be a great economical option for you.

I like all of these options you posted. A thin pave band is totally a good choice for letting your center stone be the star, while maintaining your bling factor. And they'd probably look really good with your current stack, too! If done right, I don't think a halo would obscure your center stone... they just look like bigger bursts of bling in my opinion (how can that possibly hurt?!). If anything, it just looks like your center stone grew a few mm hahaha and isn't that what you want? As long as you don't get competitively large sidestones again, I don't think obstruction would be an issue. That said, your stone with a micropave band or with a halo would look fantastic. 2.59 ct in a halo would probably make for some crazy finger coverage! That would be bigger than the one in your most recent pic and THAT. LOOKS. HUGE. to me!!!

I think it's good you're going to wait for a bit, REALLY consider all of your options, and then make an informed decision. To play devil's advocate here, if you did go with a different setting for your stone would you be happy with it vs a step cut (since you were talking about those earlier)? Again, you've already got a crazy beautiful center stone so in my opinion there is absolutely no need to switch, I just wanted to bring this up before you go down another path and then potentially come back to this position later!

In the meantime, keep us posted with your alternatives love the photos, I feel like I'm ring shopping all over again hahahaha!

 

[LLJsmom]

[/quote]
oooo! nice pics!! That must've been a fun afternoon re: studs, great minds think alike! I think that would be a great economical option for you.

I like all of these options you posted. A thin pave band is totally a good choice for letting your center stone be the star, while maintaining your bling factor. And they'd probably look really good with your current stack, too! If done right, I don't think a halo would obscure your center stone... they just look like bigger bursts of bling in my opinion (how can that possibly hurt?!). If anything, it just looks like your center stone grew a few mm hahaha and isn't that what you want? As long as you don't get competitively large sidestones again, I don't think obstruction would be an issue. That said, your stone with a micropave band or with a halo would look fantastic. 2.59 ct in a halo would probably make for some crazy finger coverage! That would be bigger than the one in your most recent pic and THAT. LOOKS. HUGE. to me!!!

I think it's good you're going to wait for a bit, REALLY consider all of your options, and then make an informed decision. To play devil's advocate here, if you did go with a different setting for your stone would you be happy with it vs a step cut (since you were talking about those earlier)? Again, you've already got a crazy beautiful center stone so in my opinion there is absolutely no need to switch, I just wanted to bring this up before you go down another path and then potentially come back to this position later!

In the meantime, keep us posted with your alternatives love the photos, I feel like I'm ring shopping all over again hahahaha! [/quote]

So today I went to my other jeweler who set the current setting, and to have them tighten the prongs. So of course I took the opportunity to look over settings. Here we go! Wanted to compare current with solitaire with skinny pave shank, and of course, a halo... The center stone is a 2.45 RB

To be honest, this setting did not really excite me. The shank was 1.9mm. It was the skinniest I could find. I would say it is not micropave, which would be thinner I think. I would prefer thinner, but even VC says 1.8 is as skinny as he would go. The jeweler at Eric Trabert said they could go to 1.5mm, which I like more. I don't like the cathedral sides because it doesn't look like it is a the same height as the matching band.





To compare with current: mine 2.59 / test 2.45


And I saw a gorgeous cushion halo. The stone does not fit the setting, which is designed for a 2 carat stone. But, I am sorely tempted by the setting because I really love how it looks IRL, a round in a cushion halo. Even though it does obscure the stone from a distance, I just love the look of cushion halos. The coverage isn't as big, about 11mm across. The halo is 2.2mm, and the shank is 1.9mm.

2.45 carat doesn't fit the halo.




Here are some pics of the setting. I think it's somewhere between $1K-$2K less than VC's. It's very customizable, and can present all the options that VC's does, except the details, etc.






Now, I'm leaning toward the halo. I just have a feeling that if I got the solitaire, looking at today's, I would still feel unsatisfied, and keep going back to look at the halo.

 

[missy]

Now, I'm leaning toward the halo. I just have a feeling that if I got the solitaire, looking at today's, I would still feel unsatisfied, and keep going back to look at the halo.

I think you have your answer. Get what you want now or you might be forever wanting a halo. Scratch the itch and enjoy!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Puppy, add me to the list of those who would absolutely love your ring as one of my imaginary 3 e-rings! (And here's a hint..after you've been married awhile, you can just buy new bands. Most of us here do that!)

LLJsmom...While I thank you for your kind words in regard to my being satisfied with my solitaire setting, it really is undeserved because I have a fear of spending $4-5k and then NEVER changing my setting again! Because I know myself...I do love the elegance of a solitaire, I love the elegance of Puppy's side baguettes, but I also love a Van Craeynest ring that is antique style with a bunch of detail. Really, simple and elegant suits me best, but I adore the details, too. That is why I need more than one e-ring!

But I am liking the halo idea for you. It really does make the stone look so much larger, just keep that shank at 1.8mm like Victor says so you don't have problems with your shank! I have two ideas for using your current sidestones. I would get one more matching stone and make a 5 stone RHR, or I would make a 5 stone DBTY bracelet! Those are great stones to reuse!

 

[braga123]

LLJsmom ,
I went back to find your original thread on your e-ring and all I can say is WOW! It's gorgeous and looks huge. One thing that I did notice is that it looks super huge when you are not wearing it with so many stackers! As gorgeous as stackers are, for me, the more we stack, the less attention the center stone gets. Have you tried wearing it solo or with one stacker, for a while?
Also, I am curious about your DSS and your social circle. Is there another person in your social circle that you are comparing your ring to? For me, there is only one, as I am surrounded by academics. And it took a while to admit that looking at her stone, made my stone feel inadequate. Since her rock is at least a 3 carat solitaire, and until recently I wore a 1.43 round halo, I always felt like my ring was trying to compete with hers, but that it never really won because the halo was just a disguise. Anyhow, this situation finally drove me to a 6 prong solitaire, temporarily. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I admired her ring so much because it should popped, and honestly, I have no idea about it's stats. I just know that when I saw it at a basketball game, I was sitting in the upper bleachers and she in the lower bleachers, I thought...that is what I want my ring to do! Anyhow, I think I will take this insight and start another thread. But hopefully you can reply to my questions.

 

[LLJsmom]

LLJsmom ,
I went back to find your original thread on your e-ring and all I can say is WOW! It's gorgeous and looks huge. One thing that I did notice is that it looks super huge when you are not wearing it with so many stackers! As gorgeous as stackers are, for me, the more we stack, the less attention the center stone gets. Have you tried wearing it solo or with one stacker, for a while?
Also, I am curious about your DSS and your social circle. Is there another person in your social circle that you are comparing your ring to? For me, there is only one, as I am surrounded by academics. And it took a while to admit that looking at her stone, made my stone feel inadequate. Since her rock is at least a 3 carat solitaire, and until recently I wore a 1.43 round halo, I always felt like my ring was trying to compete with hers, but that it never really won because the halo was just a disguise. Anyhow, this situation finally drove me to a 6 prong solitaire, temporarily. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I admired her ring so much because it should popped, and honestly, I have no idea about it's stats. I just know that when I saw it at a basketball game, I was sitting in the upper bleachers and she in the lower bleachers, I thought...that is what I want my ring to do! Anyhow, I think I will take this insight and start another thread. But hopefully you can reply to my questions.

Hi braga123, up until a year and a half ago, I never wore an e-ring, just a plain platinum band, and had for 15 years. I had a 1.1 sitting in the safe deposit box. I think it was a mental block of some sort, like I didn't deserve it or was uncomfortable wearing something as valuable as a diamond. It was at that same time I met a bunch of women in their late 30s and early 40s, and they all wore e-rings. I don't know why I never noticed before. And they all had these big rocks, to my pre-PS eyes anyway, 2-3 carats. Also at that time, my DH bought me this big Tiffany soleste with an aquamarine in the center to mark our 15th anniversary. It's like a light went on and I noticed how beautiful jewelry was in general, and diamonds in particular. I always thought it "would be nice" to have a bigger stone. Some women I know have bigger stones, and some smaller. I am sure that contributed to the need to get a new stone (it never even occurred to me to trade in my old one...). I also attribute it to hitting 40 and going through mid-life as well, (blah, blah, blah) a whole other thread. (At least my stone is cheaper than a Porsche. )

Now my stone is probably the biggest amongst the immediate people I know, and now I still have the urge to see something bigger on my hand. I will look at strangers who have big bling. Given my type AAA personality, all or nothing, it went from nice to have to full on hobby/obsession. Sorry, I'm not sure if I answered your question. Now, I like seeing a big sparkly thing on my finger, all the time. So I'm going back to respond to your question in RT.

 

[distracts]

when I saw your ring, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I have loved other rings before, but your ring is the realization of the amorphous vision I had of my ideal ring. If I had the courage NOT to choose a MRB, the patience to look for such a beautifully cut asscher, and the vision to set it the way you did, that would be it for me. Unfortunately, I had none of these. My stone was an impulse buy, which also almost gave my husband an instant heart attack. If I had spent more time and allowed myself more time to figure out what I really wanted, I probably would have ended up with something very different. I have always loved step cuts, and asschers are my favorite. I just was worried that I would miss the sparkle of a round. And I did not trust my gut. I should have.

If this is how you REALLY feel, don't just change the setting of your stone. If you really covet a step-cut, a brilliant cut is never going to satisfy you, no matter what setting it's in.

 

[LLJsmom]

when I saw your ring, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I have loved other rings before, but your ring is the realization of the amorphous vision I had of my ideal ring. If I had the courage NOT to choose a MRB, the patience to look for such a beautifully cut asscher, and the vision to set it the way you did, that would be it for me. Unfortunately, I had none of these. My stone was an impulse buy, which also almost gave my husband an instant heart attack. If I had spent more time and allowed myself more time to figure out what I really wanted, I probably would have ended up with something very different. I have always loved step cuts, and asschers are my favorite. I just was worried that I would miss the sparkle of a round. And I did not trust my gut. I should have.

If this is how you REALLY feel, don't just change the setting of your stone. If you really covet a step-cut, a brilliant cut is never going to satisfy you, no matter what setting it's in.

I would love to do that. But I don't want to lose any value on a trade in. That, I would not allow myself to do. If I did have an extra, hmmm, say $50K lying around, I would do exactly that. However, it may be a possibility at some point, at some milestone anniversary or birthday far in the future.

For the record, as far as MRBs go, I love mine, and am fine sticking with it, given budget constraints. I love the old cuts too, and AVRs and AVCs, as well as step cuts. Really, the hardest part is that there are SOOOO many beautiful stones to love. Good problem to have right?

 

[MissGotRocks]

OK LLJ, given the other thread about causes of DSS. . . what would be your idea of a perfect ring? Size of stone, setting, etc. - if money were no object? I'm not talking about a 7 carat stone - just what would your ideal ring for every day wear and every day life look like?

 

[momhappy]

How about a halo? That will fix the DSS.

Based on my own personal experience, a halo is not the fix for DSS. My halo re-set appeared to be HUGE when I first got it, and after a few months, it seems more "normal" sized (which is not to say that I have what you guys refer to as DSS). I'm perfectly happy with my ring - even after the largeness of it wore off. I tend to think that if you are someone who wants upgrade after upgrade after upgrade…. then you'll probably never be satisfied. Some people just have a grass-is-always-greener way of looking at certain things.

 

[LLJsmom]

OK LLJ, given the other thread about causes of DSS. . . what would be your idea of a perfect ring? Size of stone, setting, etc. - if money were no object? I'm not talking about a 7 carat stone - just what would your ideal ring for every day wear and every day life look like?

How about a halo? That will fix the DSS.

Based on my own personal experience, a halo is not the fix for DSS. My halo re-set appeared to be HUGE when I first got it, and after a few months, it seems more "normal" sized (which is not to say that I have what you guys refer to as DSS). I'm perfectly happy with my ring - even after the largeness of it wore off. I tend to think that if you are someone who wants upgrade after upgrade after upgrade…. then you'll probably never be satisfied. Some people just have a grass-is-always-greener way of looking at certain things.

Ok, so MGR, I wanted to give both your questions/comments some thought before answering because they are both great comment/question.

Ideal stone? If I could do a big do-over, it would be an asscher. I love the clean lines of a square cut. Size? I would like something about 10mm. And as I am writing this, I have to laugh. I went to GOG website and found a D, VS1 which measured 9.7mm. It was about 5 carats. Uhhhh, yeah, seriously not my reality, unless I decide college isn't really that important for my kids anyway.

Now, I ponder momhappy's question. Interesting that a halo did not cure DSS. Am I one of those people who can never be satisfied? In certain things in my life, I can definitely say no. I have certain running goals that I have attained, and I can be done. Clothes, house, car, career, I'm all fine with. In the end, I don't think I am one of those people who will keep needing to upgrade, not to say that I wouldn't. If I did, I would stop at some point.

When I saw the shape of the square cushion, I loved the look of it. But if I were to be honest, I don't think the square cushion is the best way to show off a beautiful round brilliant. For me, a solitaire would be the best way. But that doesn't mean I don't really, really want the cushion halo too.

Pros:
1. Love the external outline, the cushion shape. I now see I keep gravitating towards square shapes. Asscher cuts.
2. Nice finger coverage.
3. Victor Canera's work. I admittedly covet one of his settings. And since his halos are the best, halo it is.

Cons:
1. Lose the immediate sight of the round outline of an MRB, which for me is the whole point of an MRB.
2. Victor Canera - expensive, for a setting that may not be forever. What if I upgrade?

I wonder how much of my desire for a new setting has to do with getting anything done by Victor Canera??

Anyway, thank you all for indulging me and helping me figure this out. I'm kinda of sick of myself. I'm going to lay off this whole thing for now and focus on the more important things in life. It's so funny how I can get so involved in something that is really so not significant in the grand scheme of things. I have a big diamond that I have to figure out how to set.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Glad to hear that you've given it some serious thought! My point of the question was to try to figure out exactly what would make you feel happy and satisfied. Once you are at the size stone you have, you need to focus the $$ on what will make you happy rather than spending money on other settings or stones that just won't get you where you want to be anyway. Upgrades at this size and beyond are very expensive (as you well know!). If you think you want a larger stone though I'd focus my money on a stone upgrade. You can always get 'the setting' once you feel that you've maxed out size.

You are wise to just back off as there are lots of thoughts swirling through your head. These can be such expensive choices and while we can never be 100% sure, we do have to be careful and smart about the money. There have been times that I've contemplated a change, given myself the go ahead to do it and then discovered that once I CAN do it, it's somehow not so appealing. Crazy, huh?

 

[Laila619]

Well as someone who has had multiple settings over the years, the halo is the only one that made me happy with my diamond's size. That's not to say they're my favorite setting, but for boosting size, they really just can't be beat IMO.

 

[LLJsmom]

There have been times that I've contemplated a change, given myself the go ahead to do it and then discovered that once I CAN do it, it's somehow not so appealing. Crazy, huh?

Exactly!! That is ME!! I don't get it but if I did I would be a much wiser woman. Thanks MGR.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Guess it's got something to do with the thrill of the hunt? The human mind is an amazing thing!

I think if you're truly unhappy with what you have, changing it up is full speed ahead. If you still like what you have, changing it is so scary because you might hate the new look. I can't tell you how many settings I have seen that I really liked UNTIL I tried them on. What looks good to the eye doesn't always look great on the hand. Has stopped me several times! Those experiences have helped me truly appreciate what I have, remember to not take them for granted and enjoy my rings all over again.

 

[Puppy4248]

Puppy, add me to the list of those who would absolutely love your ring as one of my imaginary 3 e-rings! (And here's a hint..after you've been married awhile, you can just buy new bands. Most of us here do that!)

LLJsmom...While I thank you for your kind words in regard to my being satisfied with my solitaire setting, it really is undeserved because I have a fear of spending $4-5k and then NEVER changing my setting again! Because I know myself...I do love the elegance of a solitaire, I love the elegance of Puppy's side baguettes, but I also love a Van Craeynest ring that is antique style with a bunch of detail. Really, simple and elegant suits me best, but I adore the details, too. That is why I need more than one e-ring!

But I am liking the halo idea for you. It really does make the stone look so much larger, just keep that shank at 1.8mm like Victor says so you don't have problems with your shank! I have two ideas for using your current sidestones. I would get one more matching stone and make a 5 stone RHR, or I would make a 5 stone DBTY bracelet! Those are great stones to reuse!

Thank you diamondseeker!! I LOVE your solitaire, I think I've posted enough times on pricescope about my love of solitaires hahaha and I think yours is one of the most beautiful. And thanks for the tip about the diamond bands... that is most likely what I'll have to do (most likely will have to buy them myself because the man is not a fan!).

LLJsmom... still loving the pics! All good options here. But i agree with pretty much everyone on here, for your next move just make sure it is indeed something that you know will make your heart sing! Looking forward to seeing what you do!

 

[junebug17]

LLJsmom, I just wanted to offer a little moral support! I understand how you're feeling and can totally relate, I came down with DSS after getting my 1.96 (8 mm) OEC. I know it's not large compared to some of the diamonds on PS, but for me it really should have felt huge because I've worn either a band or a .33 carat for most of my life! It's also a large stone in terms of my family/social circle. I felt guilty, greedy, and ungrateful, and I was upset with myself that I couldn't be happy with what I have…but that didn't keep me from wanting more finger coverage lol ! And I felt that after spending the money for my new stone, I should be completely satisfied with the size and I wasn't, and that bummed me out!

For me, the tipping point was when I decided not to spend the money for a larger diamond - to get the look I wanted I think I would have had to go to at least a 9 mm, maybe more. My husband was on board (bless his heart) but in the end I decided not to upgrade. It's funny - once he told me he was ok with whatever I wanted to do, I backed off and realized I wasn't comfortable spending that much money. Weird!

I decided to reset into a halo because I figured since I was keeping my diamond I had nothing to lose! I also just really love the look - I spent a lot of time going through the before and after halo thread, and it just seemed to me that the diamond appeared larger in every case - and Dreamer advised me that the optics of my old cut might be improved with a new setting. (she was right!) For me, a halo was a good solution because it gave me more finger coverage and made my diamond look a little bigger and more lively.

There is some debate as to whether a halo helps DSS - I can only speak for myself - in my case it did. I am completely satisfied with my ring now. Even though I've gotten "used" to it, it still feels substantial on my hand. I like the extra bling, and I just think the setting is pretty as well. Again, this is just my experience, but I don't feel my diamond gets lost. And in hindsight, maybe what I was hankering for was more finger coverage, not necessarily a bigger diamond.

I hope you don't take my post as telling you what to do, because that was my intent at all! Mostly I just wanted to let you know that your feelings remind me of mine! I also figured my experience was somewhat related to the topic. Your situation is a bit different from mine - you're more on the fence, you sound like you would like to upgrade at some point, so spending money on an expensive setting might not be the best choice. On the other hand, maybe a halo would do the trick, so I really get your dilemma - You have different options, and you are giving yourself time to think them all through, which is definitely a great idea - Take your time, don't put pressure on yourself, there's no rush!

The really good news is that you have an absolutely GORGEOUS ring to wear in the meantime! Make no mistake, your ring is a stunner and looks fabulous on you! Good luck with your decision and keep us posted!

 

[momhappy]

LLJsmom, I just wanted to offer a little moral support! I understand how you're feeling and can totally relate, I came down with DSS after getting my 1.96 (8 mm) OEC. I know it's not large compared to some of the diamonds on PS, but for me it really should have felt huge because I've worn either a band or a .33 carat for most of my life! It's also a large stone in terms of my family/social circle. I felt guilty, greedy, and ungrateful, and I was upset with myself that I couldn't be happy with what I have…but that didn't keep me from wanting more finger coverage lol ! And I felt that after spending the money for my new stone, I should be completely satisfied with the size and I wasn't, and that bummed me out!

For me, the tipping point was when I decided not to spend the money for a larger diamond - to get the look I wanted I think I would have had to go to at least a 9 mm, maybe more. My husband was on board (bless his heart) but in the end I decided not to upgrade. It's funny - once he told me he was ok with whatever I wanted to do, I backed off and realized I wasn't comfortable spending that much money. Weird!

I decided to reset into a halo because I figured since I was keeping my diamond I had nothing to lose! I also just really love the look - I spent a lot of time going through the before and after halo thread, and it just seemed to me that the diamond appeared larger in every case - and Dreamer advised me that the optics of my old cut might be improved with a new setting. (she was right!) For me, a halo was a good solution because it gave me more finger coverage and made my diamond look a little bigger and more lively.

There is some debate as to whether a halo helps DSS - I can only speak for myself - in my case it did. I am completely satisfied with my ring now. Even though I've gotten "used" to it, it still feels substantial on my hand. I like the extra bling, and I just think the setting is pretty as well. Again, this is just my experience, but I don't feel my diamond gets lost. And in hindsight, maybe what I was hankering for was more finger coverage, not necessarily a bigger diamond.

I hope you don't take my post as telling you what to do, because that was my intent at all! Mostly I just wanted to let you know that your feelings remind me of mine! I also figured my experience was somewhat related to the topic. Your situation is a bit different from mine - you're more on the fence, you sound like you would like to upgrade at some point, so spending money on an expensive setting might not be the best choice. On the other hand, maybe a halo would do the trick, so I really get your dilemma - You have different options, and you are giving yourself time to think them all through, which is definitely a great idea - Take your time, don't put pressure on yourself, there's no rush!

The really good news is that you have an absolutely GORGEOUS ring to wear in the meantime! Make no mistake, your ring is a stunner and looks fabulous on you! Good luck with your decision and keep us posted!

Maybe I'm not understanding DSS, but isn't that where your diamond appears smaller after becoming accustomed to it?
I actually feel much the same way about my halo that you do junebug. I am satisfied with it, my ring feels substantial, I like the extra bling, and I don't feel like my diamond got lost either. However, none of those things change the fact that when I first got my halo re-set, it seemed huge. As time has gone by, my ring seems more normal-sized and not quite as huge, which, if I am correct, is the definition of DSS. Again, this is not to say that I am at all unhappy and/or unsatisfied with my ring - it just means that I've adapted to the change. I think that people automatically associate DSS with negativity, when is not necessarily the case. DSS is not necessarily a bad thing - it simply means that you've grown accustomed to your ring. It's sort of like sensory adaptation, where your senses grow accustomed to an external factor with repeated exposure. For example, the smell of perfume can be overwhelming upon first "sniff," but after a while you barely notice the odor any more (even though it's still there).

 

[junebug17]

There is some debate as to whether a halo helps DSS - I can only speak for myself - in my case it did. I am completely satisfied with my ring now. Even though I've gotten "used" to it, it still feels substantial on my hand. I like the extra bling, and I just think the setting is pretty as well. Again, this is just my experience, but I don't feel my diamond gets lost. And in hindsight, maybe what I was hankering for was more finger coverage, not necessarily a bigger diamond.

Maybe I'm not understanding DSS, but isn't that where your diamond appears smaller after becoming accustomed to it?
I actually feel much the same way about my halo that you do junebug. I am satisfied with it, my ring feels substantial, I like the extra bling, and I don't feel like my diamond got lost either. However, none of those things change the fact that when I first got my halo re-set, it seemed huge. As time has gone by, my ring seems more normal-sized and not quite as huge, which, if I am correct, is the definition of DSS. Again, this is not to say that I am at all unhappy and/or unsatisfied with my ring - it just means that I've adapted to the change. I think that people automatically associate DSS with negativity, when is not necessarily the case. DSS is not necessarily a bad thing - it simply means that you've grown accustomed to your ring. It's sort of like sensory adaptation, where your senses grow accustomed to an external factor with repeated exposure. For example, the smell of perfume can be overwhelming upon first "sniff," but after a while you barely notice the odor any more (even though it's still there).

I can't believe the quotes came out right lol!

Momhappy, you make good points, and I see what you're saying. But I tend to think DSS has a negative connotation only because every time I see the term used it's in relation to someone being disatisfied with the fact that they have become used to the size of their diamond. So it's not only that their stone seems more normal sized - but also that they are unhappy about it. I definitely agree that over time a person gets used to the size of their stone/ring - I can recall quite a few people saying that their diamond at first seemed large, but over time felt more normal but it didn't bother them; they were still satisfied with their diamond/ring. I wouldn't consider them to have DSS, just going by how the term is used on this forum. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong!

At any rate, what I'm saying is that a halo worked well enough for me to stop wanting a larger diamond, and it enabled me to enjoy my ring more because I do feel my diamond looks a little bigger compared to how it looked in its previous setting, and I feel I now have more hand presence than before.

 

[LLJsmom]

There is some debate as to whether a halo helps DSS - I can only speak for myself - in my case it did. I am completely satisfied with my ring now. Even though I've gotten "used" to it, it still feels substantial on my hand. I like the extra bling, and I just think the setting is pretty as well. Again, this is just my experience, but I don't feel my diamond gets lost. And in hindsight, maybe what I was hankering for was more finger coverage, not necessarily a bigger diamond.

At any rate, what I'm saying is that a halo worked well enough for me to stop wanting a larger diamond, and it enabled me to enjoy my ring more because I do feel my diamond looks a little bigger compared to how it looked in its previous setting, and I feel I now have more hand presence than before.

Junebug, I am Nothing but grateful that you took the time and effort to share your thoughts and personal experiences with me. Momhappy, thank you as well. I too want more finger coverage, but I want to see my stone too. Maybe if I see a victor canera halo IRL, it will push me over the EDGE!

The "time out" is good for me, just me committing to Not making a decision until May. My opinions fluctuate daily. As I wear my ring more, I appreciate the serious bling I get from the larger side stones. Like MGR said, once you know you won't be keeping it, you appreciate it a lot more. I definitely think my ring looks better IRL than in pics. I wonder if Victor will consider making something with pave set larger side stones. See the one below? I would want to add some extra stones, but not a full eternity. I'm not sure I like the head either.

http://www.stevenkirsch.com/engagement/solitaire/r0221.html


If I do a skinny pave setting, it would look like Frankie's Michael B setting I think.

It's all good. I will keep posting pics for all your valued consideration...

 

[LLJsmom]

I was just trolling through the tons of threads, and these are the pics that are closest to what I think a skinny pave shank would look like.

I am really surprised but I really like this double band look.
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-leon-solitaire-pave-e-ring.155218/

I think if I got skinny shank it would kinda look like this. She has a 4.5 finger too.
https://www.pricescope.com/communit...-the-michael-b-3-sided-petite-princess.81625/

I definitely see that it's not about the finger coverage with the skinny pave setting, but about the center stone.

But look at this one. It's a plain solitaire and the stone looks huge. I'm tempted by this excessively...
https://www.pricescope.com/communit...ances-2-70ct-leon-mege-solitaire-ring.161793/

And it's weird. I get this feeling that I like the four prong double claws, but why? that is just more metal.

anyhoo, thanks for letting me post. if no one has opinions, i can at least come back to this thread to remember what I was thinking.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I excessively love the one you are excessively tempted by! Would love to know what wedding band she ultimately decided on!