I feel like my upgrade has been tainted

[armywife13]

So about 8 months ago, my husband and I decided to upgrade my wedding set. He said he wanted me to have my dream ring because of all the sacrifices I have made to follow him in the Army. About a month ago I found my diamond and have signed the layaway agreement-I am head over heels about the diamond. So now I have been focusing on settings so that I have it decided when the diamond is paid off. Admittedly, I have been bugging my hubby to look at setting a lot because I want this to be a ring that we both love. Well, tonight I wanted to show him a few different settings to get his opinion. He FLIPPED out saying that he doesn't understand why anyone would be interested in rings and that it is stupid. He then proceeded to tell me that this will never have the sentiment that the ring he proposed to me with and that he doesnt care what I do as far as my upgrade. He thinks that the only reason I am doing this all just to get people's attention with a large ring.

This whole conversation really hurt my feelings and I am afraid that when I do get this amazing ring, that it will be tainted because of his feelings. Honestly, if I had known or had any inclination that this was how he felt, I never would have started the upgrade process. I thought we were on the same page with this all, we were purchasing it to celebrate the birth of our daughter last year, our anniversary this year, and as he said-the sacrifices I made following him in the army-by no means was it to gain peoples attention. I was a little thrown off about the sentiment comment also, because he proposed with one ring but we ended up purchasing a different wedding set for the wedding-which he didn't have an issue with.

I guess I am just a little saddened because we have found the perfect diamond and I am down to a few settings, I was so excited. But now I feel like there is a damper on the whole situation.

 

[ame]

Uh, wtf. There sounds like something else there that he's not shared with you yet...if he was on board a while back and really thought you deserved it for sacrificing that long, especially with you not even wearing the original proposal ring as your e.ring...what is his deal. Something is going on there. And I would seriously flat out ask him what is really going on.

 

[armywife13]

He walked off and went to bed, so we will see what he says tomorrow. I am kind of offended and put off that he is insulting my interests, I sit, listen, and carry conversation with him about golf, video games, stuff with his job, ect..... Thing that I don't care much about-but they are things that interest him, so I show interest. It would be nice to recieve the same.

 

[usnwife]

I don't think his reaction is about the ring. The military is having many cutbacks right now, so maybe that has something to do with it? I plan on getting my dream ring very soon. I haven't pulled the trigger yet, as it seems a little off to have a ring worth a years pay, when so many of our friends are going to be going through some hard times. You know in your heart it isn't about getting attention, so don't let it bother you. It will only be tainted if you let it; don't dwell on the negative.

 

[armywife13]

Thanks usnwife. I am going to try to not let it get to me, just a little frustrated and emotional about it right now because it just happened. A year ago, I would have agreed that it might be about job security because he was an E6 nco, but in June he got commissioned as a Wareent Officer to become a helicopter pilot. Plus, the funny things, it is almost all my refunds from college that are paying for the ring. Only about 5-10% of the purchase is coming out of his check. Oh well, i think something else is bothering him. The military does a great job at teaching them to suppress their emotions until they blow up about something little.

 

[Circe]

It will only be tainted if you let it; don't dwell on the negative.

I know this comes from a place of caring, so I hope it doesn't come off as a criticism of you, USNWife ... but I believe the polar opposite.

I think - if it were me, anyway - if I were to let something like that lie, the process would very much be tainted, because that would be the last (spoken) word on the matter.

My advice? Wait for him to cool off, and more importantly, wait for yourself to cool off, ArmyWife13, and ask where the hell all that came from. Myself, I actually find anniversary rings to be as or more emotionally weighty as engagement rings: I mean, sure, the e-ring marks the beginning of your union, but something like this, which celebrates how knows how much sacrifice and love built and progress between the two of you - and your daughter! - well, I don't see how it's any less remarkable or worthy of a token of celebration.

For what it's worth, while I think it's important for you to remember your love for one another, forgive him, and not let a thing that's meant to celebrate your marriage drag it down, I think he acted like an utter ass over this, both for basically bait-and-switching you with the offer, and to insult your motivations out of the blue. I agree with Ame, there's something not right here - buddy getting divorced? Family member implying something? I dunno what it is, but it's just not right.

 

[sonnyjane]

The military does a great job at teaching them to suppress their emotions until they blow up about something little.

Another military wife here I was going to say this really sounds like something going on at work, or at least somewhere else in his life. Luckily my DH is super passive (almost too much so lol), but I know a lot of the wives of the guys on his team have vented to me over wine about their husband's snapping due to stress. I will say that I wouldn't keep looking at settings until you talk this out. Head it off while you can. If you continue to still look, it will taint the entire shopping experience and seem more like a "my" ring than an "our" ring. Try to see what changed or what was bothering him, and get the train back on the "our" track.

 

[junebug17]

Wow armywife, you must have been so taken aback by all of this...I can see where you would feel hurt by his outburst, he said some cruel things IMO. I'm really not sure what to make of it. I'm just wondering if this is how he's felt all along but kept it in...or is he concerned about the cost, or he just tired and cranky tonight, or is something else bothering him? It just seems strange to me that he seemed to be supportive up until now, and then had such a sudden change of heart.

I'm going to be honest - I'm not sure I could enjoy my upgrade, the symbol of my marriage, if my husband seemed so angry and had such negative thoughts about it. I think you need to have a serious talk with him and get to the bottom of this and find out exactly what's going on here. I'm very sorry this has happened and I hope you and your husband can work this out and get back on the same page. (((hugs)))

 

[armywife13]

Circe, hopefully we can get this figured out tomorrow and move on, it just hurt to hear him say those things. But then again. We are both very skilled at pushing each others buttons in the heat of the moment-then again, what married couple isn't?

I feel like it might be stress about some upcoming training that he will be having in a few weeks. They drop you in the middle of the woods for 3 weeks to survive off the land, avoid capture, and if you get captured they simulate what would happen if you were captured behind enemy line. The more I think about it, the more I wonder if that is what is stressing him, and maybe I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.....

I just hope this gets resolved and we can still make this a positive experience. After all, I have a GORGEOUS 3.5+ OEC I am making payments on

 

[Circe]

Circe, hopefully we can get this figured out tomorrow and move on, it just hurt to hear him say those things. But then again. We are both very skilled at pushing each others buttons in the heat of the moment-then again, what married couple isn't?

I feel like it might be stress about some upcoming training that he will be having in a few weeks. They drop you in the middle of the woods for 3 weeks to survive off the land, avoid capture, and if you get captured they simulate what would happen if you were captured behind enemy line. The more I think about it, the more I wonder if that is what is stressing him, and maybe I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.....

I just hope this gets resolved and we can still make this a positive experience. After all, I have a GORGEOUS 3.5+ OEC I am making payments on

Woah, okay, that makes a lot of sense - that sounds like a very intense thing to prepare for psychologically (both in and of itself, and in terms of what it's meant to prepare you for).

And it sounds like you're already cooling down and working to understand him - I'm impressed by how quickly you can do that! Good on you. So you'll talk when he's had time to follow suit, and it'll be fine ... and once it is, girl, I want to see that stone! A 3.5 OEC sounds amazing ....

 

[ame]

all i can really say is to find out the real reason, and don't justify his actions or words, let HIM tell you what's going on, and hopefully what he says is the truth and not the military training in action That would throw me for a loop too, to be told that, and in such a manner, esp after it was agreed upon earlier in the year.

 

[armywife13]

Wow armywife, you must have been so taken aback by all of this...I can see where you would feel hurt by his outburst, I'm really not sure what to make of it. I'm just wondering if this is how he's felt all along but kept it in...or is he concerned about the cost, or he just tired and cranky tonight, or is something else bothering him? It just seems strange to me that he seemed to be supportive up until now, and then had such a sudden change of heart.

I'm going to be honest - I'm not sure I could enjoy my upgrade, the symbol of my marriage, if my husband seemed so angry and had such negative thoughts about it. I think you need to have a serious talk with him and get to the bottom of this and find out exactly what's going on here. I'm very sorry this has happened and I hope you and your husband can work this out and get back on the same page. (((hugs)))

Thanks for the hugs, junebug17 Hopefully we will get this resolved quickly. We have a few months before the whole process will be done, so hopefully the ring will not have this looming over it.

I can't imagine that he had an issue with this to start with, since he has no feelings what so ever to my current set-it is so warped from resizing that I can't wear it anyways. That is why I am wearing my eternity as my w-band right now. The only thing he said from the start is that he always wants me to keep the ring he proposed with (not the ring I got married with), and I plan on always keeping it.

We have crunched the numbers several times, and the money has never been an issue, especially since my refunds from school grants are mainly playing for the upgrade. Plus we discussed this as being my anniversary, push present, bday present, v-day present, and Christmas present for the year. almost never spend money on me, I stay at home with our daughter, take care of the house, and go to school online full time. On the flip side he spends upwards of 5k a year on video games and computer upgrades. Ugh.

 

[CharmyPoo]

I am guessing here ... I think he just said it as an excuse so he doesn't have to look at settings and diamonds.

 

[armywife13]

all i can really say is to find out the real reason, and don't justify his actions or words, let HIM tell you what's going on, and hopefully what he says is the truth and not the military training in action That would throw me for a loop too, to be told that, and in such a manner, esp after it was agreed upon earlier in the year.

Idohave to say, the 3 deployments over the last 6 years have done a number on him, and all of our friends that were on the deployments. We will see what he says tomorrow. I'll keep y'all posted, hopefully it gets resolved!

 

[armywife13]

I am guessing here ... I think he just said it as an excuse so he doesn't have to look at settings and diamonds.

I wouldn't put it past him, but he didn't have to be so rude about it. Maybe he will get the same treatment the next time he wants to talk about one of his interests. Just kidding.

 

[armywife13]

The military does a great job at teaching them to suppress their emotions until they blow up about something little.

Another military wife here I was going to say this really sounds like something going on at work, or at least somewhere else in his life. Luckily my DH is super passive (almost too much so lol), but I know a lot of the wives of the guys on his team have vented to me over wine about their husband's snapping due to stress. I will say that I wouldn't keep looking at settings until you talk this out. Head it off while you can. If you continue to still look, it will taint the entire shopping experience and seem more like a "my" ring than an "our" ring. Try to see what changed or what was bothering him, and get the train back on the "our" track.

My hubby is usually pretty passive and easy going, but every once and a while, he has his moments. I think it really might be the upcoming training I mentioned a few posts up. Hopefully that is it. We will see tomorrow!

 

[armywife13]

Circe, hopefully we can get this figured out tomorrow and move on, it just hurt to hear him say those things. But then again. We are both very skilled at pushing each others buttons in the heat of the moment-then again, what married couple isn't?

I feel like it might be stress about some upcoming training that he will be having in a few weeks. They drop you in the middle of the woods for 3 weeks to survive off the land, avoid capture, and if you get captured they simulate what would happen if you were captured behind enemy line. The more I think about it, the more I wonder if that is what is stressing him, and maybe I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.....

I just hope this gets resolved and we can still make this a positive experience. After all, I have a GORGEOUS 3.5+ OEC I am making payments on

Woah, okay, that makes a lot of sense - that sounds like a very intense thing to prepare for psychologically (both in and of itself, and in terms of what it's meant to prepare you for).

And it sounds like you're already cooling down and working to understand him - I'm impressed by how quickly you can do that! Good on you. So you'll talk when he's had time to follow suit, and it'll be fine ... and once it is, girl, I want to see that stone! A 3.5 OEC sounds amazing ....

Well it won't be mine for a while...making payments on it. I WISH I had the money to pay a diamond that size off all at once...don't we all. it is the diamond from the jbeg gabbie ring that was the special last month.

 

[junebug17]

Wow armywife, you must have been so taken aback by all of this...I can see where you would feel hurt by his outburst, I'm really not sure what to make of it. I'm just wondering if this is how he's felt all along but kept it in...or is he concerned about the cost, or he just tired and cranky tonight, or is something else bothering him? It just seems strange to me that he seemed to be supportive up until now, and then had such a sudden change of heart.

I'm going to be honest - I'm not sure I could enjoy my upgrade, the symbol of my marriage, if my husband seemed so angry and had such negative thoughts about it. I think you need to have a serious talk with him and get to the bottom of this and find out exactly what's going on here. I'm very sorry this has happened and I hope you and your husband can work this out and get back on the same page. (((hugs)))

Thanks for the hugs, junebug17 Hopefully we will get this resolved quickly. We have a few months before the whole process will be done, so hopefully the ring will not have this looming over it.

I can't imagine that he had an issue with this to start with, since he has no feelings what so ever to my current set-it is so warped from resizing that I can't wear it anyways. That is why I am wearing my eternity as my w-band right now. The only thing he said from the start is that he always wants me to keep the ring he proposed with (not the ring I got married with), and I plan on always keeping it.

We have crunched the numbers several times, and the money has never been an issue, especially since my refunds from school grants are mainly playing for the upgrade. Plus we discussed this as being my anniversary, push present, bday present, v-day present, and Christmas present for the year. almost never spend money on me, I stay at home with our daughter, take care of the house, and go to school online full time. On the flip side he spends upwards of 5k a year on video games and computer upgrades. Ugh.

I gotcha - I was just brain-storming for reasons for his reaction - it sounds like it could be from the stress of the upcoming training - settings and diamonds just might not be high on his priority list right now lol. Sounds like you guys will be able to straighten this all out - but I think ame made a good point: let him tell you why he reacted the way he did.

I can relate a little - my husband recently agreed to an upgrade, but I'm not always totally convinced he's 100% on board - and it's taking the fun out of it, damn it!

 

[sonnyjane]

The military does a great job at teaching them to suppress their emotions until they blow up about something little.

Another military wife here I was going to say this really sounds like something going on at work, or at least somewhere else in his life. Luckily my DH is super passive (almost too much so lol), but I know a lot of the wives of the guys on his team have vented to me over wine about their husband's snapping due to stress. I will say that I wouldn't keep looking at settings until you talk this out. Head it off while you can. If you continue to still look, it will taint the entire shopping experience and seem more like a "my" ring than an "our" ring. Try to see what changed or what was bothering him, and get the train back on the "our" track.

My hubby is usually pretty passive and easy going, but every once and a while, he has his moments. I think it really might be the upcoming training I mentioned a few posts up. Hopefully that is it. We will see tomorrow!

Very likely, and hopefully so. DH is in the 'Stan right now, and before he left, for about a month or two I'd say, he was really putting in long hours at the gym. I thought it was because he was trying to avoid me, so I pouted and told him my feelings were hurt that he wasn't hanging out with me more before he left. He'd just say sorry, but then kept putting in the long hours. Finally one day when I was pulling the passive-aggressive "no, nothing's bothering me" card lol, he told me that he was going so much because he was super worried about the upcoming deployment because it was to a really dangerous spot, was trying to burn off steam so that he didn't take it out on me at home, and was trying to get in the best shape possible for all the hiking he'd be doing with gear so that he'd be more safe. I sure felt like a jerk after that Bottom line is like you said, they aren't exactly trained that it's okay to talk about that stuff with the Mrs.

 

[armywife13]

Wow armywife, you must have been so taken aback by all of this...I can see where you would feel hurt by his outburst, I'm really not sure what to make of it. I'm just wondering if this is how he's felt all along but kept it in...or is he concerned about the cost, or he just tired and cranky tonight, or is something else bothering him? It just seems strange to me that he seemed to be supportive up until now, and then had such a sudden change of heart.

I'm going to be honest - I'm not sure I could enjoy my upgrade, the symbol of my marriage, if my husband seemed so angry and had such negative thoughts about it. I think you need to have a serious talk with him and get to the bottom of this and find out exactly what's going on here. I'm very sorry this has happened and I hope you and your husband can work this out and get back on the same page. (((hugs)))

Thanks for the hugs, junebug17 Hopefully we will get this resolved quickly. We have a few months before the whole process will be done, so hopefully the ring will not have this looming over it.

I can't imagine that he had an issue with this to start with, since he has no feelings what so ever to my current set-it is so warped from resizing that I can't wear it anyways. That is why I am wearing my eternity as my w-band right now. The only thing he said from the start is that he always wants me to keep the ring he proposed with (not the ring I got married with), and I plan on always keeping it.

We have crunched the numbers several times, and the money has never been an issue, especially since my refunds from school grants are mainly playing for the upgrade. Plus we discussed this as being my anniversary, push present, bday present, v-day present, and Christmas present for the year. almost never spend money on me, I stay at home with our daughter, take care of the house, and go to school online full time. On the flip side he spends upwards of 5k a year on video games and computer upgrades. Ugh.

I gotcha - I was just brain-storming for reasons for his reaction - it sounds like it could be from the stress of the upcoming training - settings and diamonds just might not be high on his priority list right now lol. Sounds like you guys should be able to straighten this all out - but I think ame made a good point: let him tell you why he reacted the way he did.

I can relate a little - my husband recently agreed to an upgrade, but I'm not always totally convinced he's 100% on board - and it's taking the fun out of it, damn it!

Doesn't it? Maybe we need to give them a taste of their own medicine....when it is time for a new car we tell them they can choose whatever they want, and then complain the entire time.

 

[armywife13]

The military does a great job at teaching them to suppress their emotions until they blow up about something little.

Another military wife here I was going to say this really sounds like something going on at work, or at least somewhere else in his life. Luckily my DH is super passive (almost too much so lol), but I know a lot of the wives of the guys on his team have vented to me over wine about their husband's snapping due to stress. I will say that I wouldn't keep looking at settings until you talk this out. Head it off while you can. If you continue to still look, it will taint the entire shopping experience and seem more like a "my" ring than an "our" ring. Try to see what changed or what was bothering him, and get the train back on the "our" track.

My hubby is usually pretty passive and easy going, but every once and a while, he has his moments. I think it really might be the upcoming training I mentioned a few posts up. Hopefully that is it. We will see tomorrow!

Very likely, and hopefully so. DH is in the 'Stan right now, and before he left, for about a month or two I'd say, he was really putting in long hours at the gym. I thought it was because he was trying to avoid me, so I pouted and told him my feelings were hurt that he wasn't hanging out with me more before he left. He'd just say sorry, but then keep putting in the long hours. Finally one day when I was pulling the "no, nothing's bothering me" card lol, he told me that he was going so much because he was super worried about the upcoming deployment because it was to a really dangerous spot, was trying to burn off steam so that he didn't take it out on me at home, and was trying to get in the best shape possible for all the hiking he'd be doing with gear so that he'd be more safe. I sure felt like a jerk after that Bottom line is like you said, they aren't exactly trained that it's okay to talk about that stuff with the Mrs.

Aww I'm sorry your hubby is deployed Sending positive vibes for a speedy and safe return! I hope all is well with your hubby, your family and yourself, sometimes the deployments can get rough.

 

[sonnyjane]

The military does a great job at teaching them to suppress their emotions until they blow up about something little.

Another military wife here I was going to say this really sounds like something going on at work, or at least somewhere else in his life. Luckily my DH is super passive (almost too much so lol), but I know a lot of the wives of the guys on his team have vented to me over wine about their husband's snapping due to stress. I will say that I wouldn't keep looking at settings until you talk this out. Head it off while you can. If you continue to still look, it will taint the entire shopping experience and seem more like a "my" ring than an "our" ring. Try to see what changed or what was bothering him, and get the train back on the "our" track.

My hubby is usually pretty passive and easy going, but every once and a while, he has his moments. I think it really might be the upcoming training I mentioned a few posts up. Hopefully that is it. We will see tomorrow!

Very likely, and hopefully so. DH is in the 'Stan right now, and before he left, for about a month or two I'd say, he was really putting in long hours at the gym. I thought it was because he was trying to avoid me, so I pouted and told him my feelings were hurt that he wasn't hanging out with me more before he left. He'd just say sorry, but then keep putting in the long hours. Finally one day when I was pulling the "no, nothing's bothering me" card lol, he told me that he was going so much because he was super worried about the upcoming deployment because it was to a really dangerous spot, was trying to burn off steam so that he didn't take it out on me at home, and was trying to get in the best shape possible for all the hiking he'd be doing with gear so that he'd be more safe. I sure felt like a jerk after that Bottom line is like you said, they aren't exactly trained that it's okay to talk about that stuff with the Mrs.

Aww I'm sorry your hubby is deployed Sending positive vibes for a speedy and safe return! I hope all is well with your hubby, your family and yourself, sometimes the deployments can get rough.

Thank you! I don't have to tell you how much they suck! We've done three in the last four years, but after this one he should have a good two years home or so, so I'm greatly looking forward to it!

 

[armywife13]

The military does a great job at teaching them to suppress their emotions until they blow up about something little.

Another military wife here I was going to say this really sounds like something going on at work, or at least somewhere else in his life. Luckily my DH is super passive (almost too much so lol), but I know a lot of the wives of the guys on his team have vented to me over wine about their husband's snapping due to stress. I will say that I wouldn't keep looking at settings until you talk this out. Head it off while you can. If you continue to still look, it will taint the entire shopping experience and seem more like a "my" ring than an "our" ring. Try to see what changed or what was bothering him, and get the train back on the "our" track.

My hubby is usually pretty passive and easy going, but every once and a while, he has his moments. I think it really might be the upcoming training I mentioned a few posts up. Hopefully that is it. We will see tomorrow!

Very likely, and hopefully so. DH is in the 'Stan right now, and before he left, for about a month or two I'd say, he was really putting in long hours at the gym. I thought it was because he was trying to avoid me, so I pouted and told him my feelings were hurt that he wasn't hanging out with me more before he left. He'd just say sorry, but then keep putting in the long hours. Finally one day when I was pulling the "no, nothing's bothering me" card lol, he told me that he was going so much because he was super worried about the upcoming deployment because it was to a really dangerous spot, was trying to burn off steam so that he didn't take it out on me at home, and was trying to get in the best shape possible for all the hiking he'd be doing with gear so that he'd be more safe. I sure felt like a jerk after that Bottom line is like you said, they aren't exactly trained that it's okay to talk about that stuff with the Mrs.

Aww I'm sorry your hubby is deployed Sending positive vibes for a speedy and safe return! I hope all is well with your hubby, your family and yourself, sometimes the deployments can get rough.

Thank you! I don't have to tell you how much they suck! We've done three in the last four years, but after this one he should have a good two years home or so, so I'm greatly looking forward to it!

I know what you mean! DH was deployed for 14 months, came back for a week-which is when he proposed 6 years ago, and then they deployed him for another 14 months a week later. We did one more large one to Iraq again after those, then we went to Haiti for 4 months, and he was supposed to deploy this past may but he got selected for Warrent officer training.

I bet it will be so nice to have those 2 years where you know he will be home. We got that after his back to back deployments. And let me say, from one military wife to another, you are a strong woman to be able to handle 3 deployments in 4 years. Our back to back deployments were stressing enough, I can't imagine what you were and are going through!

 

[sonnyjane]

Quote was getting too long hehe. Thanks! You're making me blush!! But, ours have only been 6 or 7 months. 14 is unfathomable to me!!!! You deserve that upgrade for sure lol!!!

 

[armywife13]

It was getting a little long, wasn't it? You definitely deserve yours as well, cant wait to see it

 

[sonnyjane]

It was getting a little long, wasn't it? You definitely deserve yours as well, cant wait to see it

Ha, no upgrade for me anytime soon. We are going to try to "upgrade" our family if you know what I mean lol

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I am sure he had other stress at the moment. But I have learned over the years that things like ring settings are about as interesting to most men as an engine motor would be to me! So enjoy your upgrade process...he said he wanted you to have it...so don't involve him any more until you can show him how happy you are with the finished ring! I feel like if I bug my husband with details he doesn't care about, he might not be so happy about the next project!

 

[Hera]

Another Navy wife here
I'm sorry he had such a bad reaction. At one point, when we start upgrading etc I think men can get a little miffed because they want what they got you to be good enough. I upgraded a few times and now my husband is mostly disinterested and as long as I like it and he doesn't hate it, then all is good in the world. I think we get on a slippery slope when we want their seal of approval because they already liked what you both agreed upon in the beginning and don't really understand the upgrade.

Anyways, those words were hurtful and untrue and I hope you guys talk it out.

Congrats to your husband on such an advancement. The military is tough place to be right now with the continuous scrutiny and any advancements right now are a big accomplishment!

 

[armywife13]

I am sure he had other stress at the moment. But I have learned over the years that things like ring settings are about as interesting to most men as an engine motor would be to me! So enjoy your upgrade process...he said he wanted you to have it...so don't involve him any more until you can show him how happy you are with the finished ring! I feel like if I bug my husband with details he doesn't care about, he might not be so happy about the next project!

Thanks for the advice, I agree that it may be best to involve him less and just keep him updated on the $ side...or msybe we will leave that out too just kidding! That would cause a REAL problem.

 

[armywife13]

Another Navy wife here
I'm sorry he had such a bad reaction. At one point, when we start upgrading etc I think men can get a little miffed because they want what they got you to be good enough. I upgraded a few times and now my husband is mostly disinterested and as long as I like it and he doesn't hate it, then all is good in the world. I think we get on a slippery slope when we want their seal of approval because they already liked what you both agreed upon in the beginning and don't really understand the upgrade.

Anyways, those words were hurtful and untrue and I hope you guys talk it out.

Congrats to your husband on such an advancement. The military is tough place to be right now with the continuous scrutiny and any advancements right now are a big accomplishment!

Hi!
You bring up a good point, while he didn't really care and was supportive, maybe me constantly talking about it is bothering him. Like I said to DS above, I think I am going to uninvolved him aside from the $. Maybe that will work!

And thank you for the kind words about my husband's career, I will pass it along to him once he gets out of his funk. Haha.