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I don't get why some PSer advise others to wear ...

Dancing Fire

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the approx size diamond as your social circles?... :confused: So, does that mean if my social circles does not wear diamonds then I shouldn't either? why should I let my social circles dictate what I wear?
 

thecat

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If the wearer is the one asking about size, I will tell her/him to wear what she/he likes. If the one asking is buying for a partner, I suppose it's normal to remind the buyer to consider the partner's social circle if the partner is the type who prefers not to draw attention to herself. Some are buying for the first time so it's good that PSers remind them to consider all possible factors that might impact the wearer's choice.
 

Rhea

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I think it's a factor for level of comfort if you expect to wear your ring everyday. I cannot imagine walking up wearing a 3 carat at my work with the homeless population or out with friends, most of whom are social workers and charity workers. I'd feel embarrassed and out of place. It's not that I shouldn't wear a diamond because they don't, it's the huge disparity in what we're wearing when it's so out there and obvious. If I were to have an engagement ring that's as large as that I'd be careful where I wore it. And if I'm not going to wear it everyday or even regularly then it might be a good idea to consider getting a smaller stone. I wouldn't need to go down to the size my friends wear to feel comfortable (which varies greatly between none and 0.75 carats) but my personal comfort, even if I had the money to buy it, would be far below 3 carats. I simply do not want to attract attention or stand out like that.
 

missy

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I don't think everyone here recommends not to get larger/smaller than what people are wearing in one's social circles rather just advising them that some people feel uncomfortable if their ring is very different in size.
Just letting them know that may or may not be a factor in their comfort level.

Personally I do not care what others are wearing and wear what I love (and can afford) wearing. But not everyone is the same so just sharing that with people coming here for advice re diamond size as a possible factor to consider. Then they can make up their minds with the info we share.
 

dk168

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Not me, wear what you like/love/feel comfortable based on your lifestyle/job/career choices is what I would normally advise.

DK :))
 

Niel

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I don't say buy what your social circle has, I say take it into consideration.

And I usually say it for the opposite of what you do.

If All her friends wear a 1ct diamond, I do in fact think it will be an issue of she gets a .5 ct. Not in every case. But enough to bring it up.

Also its a measure of expectations. If everyone is getting .5 ct diamonds, the person getting the diamond probably expects to get the same. Such is the situation in my area. People hardly even SEE 1ct diamonds.

I advise this to men who, for some reason, don't just want to ASK what she wants. (This is obviously preferable to guessing)

I also advise looking at pinterest. You'll see a lot of 2 CTS pinned that say "perfect" or "love this but too big".

The current thread going asking about perspective seems to need the " check what others are wearing " because her perspective on how big diamonds look will most certainly be connected to what she sees daily.

You have to go off something, and if he wont ask its a fair barometer. Also, its fair to say, in your example, if all her friends have small / no diamonds and she actually wants a large one, she will say something.
 

momhappy

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I guess that I've never read that advice, so I can comment on why members here might advise others to do so. I don't really think of it in terms buying diamonds that are in line with those of your social circle - I think of it in terms of buying what you can afford and/or what you are comfortable with. I suppose those things can be intertwined. In other words, if one has money and can afford large diamonds, then it's not unlikely that their social circle is made up of people who have money too.
 

arkieb1

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I don't think its meant to be offensive - a lot of men are idiots or have no clue when they are buying a diamond if they don't actually ask the lady involved what they want. And as far as social circles it's not the norm to have stones over 1 carat (many are smaller) in Australia in the burbs, I wear whatever I want - and so should everyone else.
 

Madam Bijoux

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I'm a firm believer in "wear what you like". Social circles change, but you will always have your jewelry. Get what makes you happy.
 

junebug17

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Yeah, I'm with you on this one DF, this advice is offered a fair amount on PS and I just don't really agree with it - I agree with MB, social circles change and I think people should get what works best for them and not worry too much about what their friends have. I think personal style, the woman's preference and budget are more important factors to consider.
 

movie zombie

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Dancing Fire|1421134879|3815600 said:
the approx size diamond as your social circles?... :confused: So, does that mean if my social circles does not wear diamonds then I shouldn't either? why should I let my social circles dictate what I wear?


agree with you, DF....omg: did the earth stop turning?! :lol:
 

Lady_Disdain

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I would never say "wear what others are wearing". However, if the guy is dead set on not asking (mistake #1, in my opinion), then looking around is a good place to start. If he came to PS, a 1.5ct ring would seem normal. However, around here, that would be humongous, ostentatious, etc (positive or negative depending on their view).

Let's suppose our fictional guy's fiancee to be want a ring larger than normal but that won't look like costume jewelry. Here, that would be around 0.5-0.75 cts. A 2ct would be thought costume unless they belonged to a very particular set. In other places, the sweet spot might be that 2ct ring.

It is simply about contextualizing the decision in their own cultural milieu. Small and large are relative terms, after all.
 

Dancing Fire

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movie zombie|1421164822|3815713 said:
Dancing Fire|1421134879|3815600 said:
the approx size diamond as your social circles?... :confused: So, does that mean if my social circles does not wear diamonds then I shouldn't either? why should I let my social circles dictate what I wear?


agree with you, DF....omg: did the earth stop turning?! :lol:
No, but the earth just now reversed its direction... :lol:
 

Niel

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Lady_Disdain|1421165035|3815714 said:
I would never say "wear what others are wearing". However, if the guy is dead set on not asking (mistake #1, in my opinion), then looking around is a good place to start. If he came to PS, a 1.5ct ring would seem normal. However, around here, that would be humongous, ostentatious, etc (positive or negative depending on their view).

Let's suppose our fictional guy's fiancee to be want a ring larger than normal but that won't look like costume jewelry. Here, that would be around 0.5-0.75 cts. A 2ct would be thought costume unless they belonged to a very particular set. In other places, the sweet spot might be that 2ct ring.

It is simply about contextualizing the decision in their own cultural milieu. Small and large are relative terms, after all.

This was what I was getting at but much more clearly.
 

Dancing Fire

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Lady_Disdain|1421165035|3815714 said:
I would never say "wear what others are wearing". However, if the guy is dead set on not asking (mistake #1, in my opinion), then looking around is a good place to start. If he came to PS, a 1.5ct ring would seem normal. However, around here, that would be humongous, ostentatious, etc (positive or negative depending on their view).

Let's suppose our fictional guy's fiancee to be want a ring larger than normal but that won't look like costume jewelry. Here, that would be around 0.5-0.75 cts. A 2ct would be thought costume unless they belonged to a very particular set. In other places, the sweet spot might be that 2ct ring.

Center stone only.

avg in the U.S.... 0.90 ct
avg PSer......1.25ct
avg NYC....2.75ct
avg No.Ca & So.Ca.......2.5ct
avg in the midwest... .65ct
avg in Florida ...1.60ct
 

Niel

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Dancing Fire|1421167383|3815738 said:
Lady_Disdain|1421165035|3815714 said:
I would never say "wear what others are wearing". However, if the guy is dead set on not asking (mistake #1, in my opinion), then looking around is a good place to start. If he came to PS, a 1.5ct ring would seem normal. However, around here, that would be humongous, ostentatious, etc (positive or negative depending on their view).

Let's suppose our fictional guy's fiancee to be want a ring larger than normal but that won't look like costume jewelry. Here, that would be around 0.5-0.75 cts. A 2ct would be thought costume unless they belonged to a very particular set. In other places, the sweet spot might be that 2ct ring.

Center stone only.

avg in the U.S.... 0.90 ct
avg PSer......1.25ct
avg NYC....2.75ct
avg No.Ca & So.Ca.......2.5ct
avg in the midwest... .65ct
avg in Florida ...1.60ct

When is this data from?

Also " Midwest " is very vague. I mean the UP of Michigan vs downtown Chicago,I'd bet they are different.

I don't know, I think this info is less helpful than know the states of friends and family. At least it takes I to account similar values. Similar lifestyles, and similar age groups.

Not always, but better than nothing.
 

tyty333

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Dancing Fire|1421167383|3815738 said:
Lady_Disdain|1421165035|3815714 said:
I would never say "wear what others are wearing". However, if the guy is dead set on not asking (mistake #1, in my opinion), then looking around is a good place to start. If he came to PS, a 1.5ct ring would seem normal. However, around here, that would be humongous, ostentatious, etc (positive or negative depending on their view).

Let's suppose our fictional guy's fiancee to be want a ring larger than normal but that won't look like costume jewelry. Here, that would be around 0.5-0.75 cts. A 2ct would be thought costume unless they belonged to a very particular set. In other places, the sweet spot might be that 2ct ring.

Center stone only.

avg in the U.S.... 0.90 ct
avg PSer......1.25ct
avg NYC....2.75ct
avg No.Ca & So.Ca.......2.5ct
avg in the midwest... .65ct
avg in Florida ...1.60ct

Are you making up numbers again DF? :shock:
 

momhappy

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Niel|1421168201|3815750 said:
Dancing Fire|1421167383|3815738 said:
Lady_Disdain|1421165035|3815714 said:
I would never say "wear what others are wearing". However, if the guy is dead set on not asking (mistake #1, in my opinion), then looking around is a good place to start. If he came to PS, a 1.5ct ring would seem normal. However, around here, that would be humongous, ostentatious, etc (positive or negative depending on their view).

Let's suppose our fictional guy's fiancee to be want a ring larger than normal but that won't look like costume jewelry. Here, that would be around 0.5-0.75 cts. A 2ct would be thought costume unless they belonged to a very particular set. In other places, the sweet spot might be that 2ct ring.

Center stone only.

avg in the U.S.... 0.90 ct
avg PSer......1.25ct
avg NYC....2.75ct
avg No.Ca & So.Ca.......2.5ct
avg in the midwest... .65ct
avg in Florida ...1.60ct

When is this data from?

Also " Midwest " is very vague. I mean the UP of Michigan vs downtown Chicago,I'd bet they are different.

I don't know, I think this info is less helpful than know the states of friends and family. At least it takes I to account similar values. Similar lifestyles, and similar age groups.

Not always, but better than nothing.

I agree and yes, what you see in the UP of Michigan is very different than Chicago :lol:
 

kenny

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There is enormous social pressure to "fit in".
Many people, perhaps most, fear social rejection for being different.
 

elle_chris

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Dancing Fire is making up numbers...lol
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/01/your-money/with-engagement-rings-love-meets-budget.html?_r=0

In my social circle, size is all over the place. Some have half carats, others 3.
But they're not the kind of people you'll find posting on PS. They just don't care about diamonds, even the ones with the larger stones.

For me, lifestyle plays a much larger role than social circle. What I do, where I go, where I live.. all that plays a role in how I dress and my jewelry. For my lifestyle, a 4ct ring would look ostentatious and I'd feel uncomfortable wearing it. Same thing with my rather large 5 stone, I no longer wear it.

And to be honest, when I see huge rocks on cashiers in my local supermarket, or sales girls at my local Banana Republic, they get the side eye too. It just looks ridiculous to me. I know I shouldn't judge, but I just can't help it.
 

Calliecake

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I agree with you as well Dancing Fire.

People vary. I have friends that take six nice vacations a year, others have horses. I like jewelry. Everyone enjoys different things and spends their money on what they enjoy. I purchase what I can afford and what makes me happy. I don't worry about someone else not approving. This probably comes with age. Life is short. Do what makes you happy.

If I were to see a sales cashier or sales assistant wear a very large diamond, I would think she probably loves jewelry!
 

monarch64

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elle_chris|1421177081|3815835 said:
Dancing Fire is making up numbers...lol
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/01/your-money/with-engagement-rings-love-meets-budget.html?_r=0

In my social circle, size is all over the place. Some have half carats, others 3.
But they're not the kind of people you'll find posting on PS. They just don't care about diamonds, even the ones with the larger stones.

For me, lifestyle plays a much larger role than social circle. What I do, where I go, where I live.. all that plays a role in how I dress and my jewelry. For my lifestyle, a 4ct ring would look ostentatious and I'd feel uncomfortable wearing it. Same thing with my rather large 5 stone, I no longer wear it.

And to be honest, when I see huge rocks on cashiers in my local supermarket, or sales girls at my local Banana Republic, they get the side eye too. It just looks ridiculous to me. I know I shouldn't judge, but I just can't help it.


Oh, sweetie, they're giving you the side-eye right back. Bless your heart.
 

Calliecake

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A friend of mine works as a sales assistant at Ann Taylor. She has a beautiful 3 carat emerald cut diamond. She loves jewelry.
 

stracci2000

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Well, I just feel the need to interject right here...........
I have been a cashier in the grocery store--you know, the one wearing big diamonds? Yeah, that was me. And Tahitian pearls, and Ceylon sapphires, and Muzo emeralds.
Sometimes you just don't know a persons life circumstances. So don't judge.
 

elle_chris

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Like I said, they'd get the side eye from me "even though I know I shouldn't".

As I posted above, lifestyle plays a huge role to me in the jewelry I wear. A 3ct while packing groceries looks strange. A 3ct while folding a pair of pants I'm about to buy, looks strange.

Maybe they have a rich fiance/husband, or maybe it was an heirloom, I don't know, I don't look that deep into it.
But my first impression isn't a good one.
 

elle_chris

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stracci2000|1421182575|3815909 said:
Well, I just feel the need to interject right here...........
I have been a cashier in the grocery store--you know, the one wearing big diamonds? Yeah, that was me. And Tahitian pearls, and Ceylon sapphires, and Muzo emeralds.
Sometimes you just don't know a persons life circumstances. So don't judge.


everyone judges, stracci. we change our minds a lot of the time after we get to know someone, but yeah- we judge.
 

dk168

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There is no way to know if a diamond/CS is real at a fleeting glance, IMHO.

DK :))
 

madelise

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Wow.. the judging, the judging in this thread! :errrr:

I wear large diamonds. Whenever the f I want and feel like wearing them. If anyone gave me a funny look while I was doing a job that they deem underneath a large-diamond-wearer, I'd consider them jealous. That's it. Or if they assumed they were fake, the better for me, as I would feel more safe from robbers.


//madelise. a grad student, with pretty much NO real job, who enjoys buying giant diamonds over Christian Louboutins or Gucci bags.
 

elle_chris

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madelise|1421187529|3815946 said:
Wow.. the judging, the judging in this thread! :errrr:

I wear large diamonds. Whenever the f I want and feel like wearing them. If anyone gave me a funny look while I was doing a job that they deem underneath a large-diamond-wearer, I'd consider them jealous. That's it. Or if they assumed they were fake, the better for me, as I would feel more safe from robbers.


//madelise. a grad student, with pretty much NO real job, who enjoys buying giant diamonds over Christian Louboutins or Gucci bags.


oh ... i'm not judging you because you buy large diamonds. i'm judging you because you have "NO real job" and buy large diamonds... :angel:

(yeah, i couldn't resist)
 
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