How to let go of resentment and negativity?

[KristinTech]

I just wanted to add here that I had an epiphany of sorts this summer. Forgiveness. It's not something I ever thought I'd do with a certain situation in my life, and I didn't even know I really could without the person acknowledging their fault and asking for my forgiveness. But I did it anyway. And I have to keep doing it. I keep trying. I envisioned me on a ship, tugging along a boat that was tied to the ship. I visualized me swiping at the rope with a giant sword and with a satisfying "zing" sound, the boat floated away, along with my anger and resentment. It does come clanging back up against my ship when storms arise, but I resolutely look forward and get out my oar and row away from it. I am still learning, but it was so FREEING to realize I could leave it behind me. I also like the quote "Look at the past, but don't stare at it" from earlier in the thread. I read the book Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud. I had originally read it to help my dh with an issue, but there was this whole chapter on Forgiveness, and I ended up getting so much more out of it than I had thought!

 

[Polished]

That being said, I am having a hard time dealing with this continuous resurfacing. Any ideas on how to let go, when they keep bringing it all back up? Again, not angry over past events, angry over present drama from it. I can pray all I want, but when a stranger appraoches a friend to ask about the situation......

P.S. I have asked them to stop. Repeatedly.

I feel for you with this dragonfly. The poor lumps sound bored and petty. It's so convenient for people to dump all their own stuff onto someone else so instead of dealing with their own negativity it's simply transferred to another to deal with. Perhaps making a conscious decision to be the opposite of what you observe in them not only relieves the situation but makes it a situation where you're actually better than if you didn't have it in your life. I guess it can have as much power as you allow it and not allowing it power means confidence and power to you. I have a friend who is a very strong Christian. She also has an awful time with inlaws. Whenever there has been an incident she says she simply prays for their salvation - I rather liked this, it avoids focusing on petty incidents that in themselves are so grossly unfair as to be completely ludicrous.