How to deal with changing tastes

[ihy138]

I am finding that my taste in ring settings changes pretty much monthly. I have a halo engagement ring, and am considering a reset because I'm a little bored with it (and halos are EVERYWHERE now). I can't see how I will ever choose a setting that will be my favorite forever. Anyone else feel like this? How do you choose a setting if so?

 

[dk168]

Not really, however, it has taken me 10 years before I finally got round to re-setting my EC diamond in its forever home, and had plenty of time to decide on the setting, which is an air line/gap diamond halo with a plain shank.

DK

 

[ihy138]

Not really, however, it has taken me 10 years before I finally got round to re-setting my EC diamond in its forever home, and had plenty of time to decide on the setting, which is an air line/gap diamond halo with a plain shank.

DK

Your ring is gorgeous! I think 10 years is enough time for me to change my mind a few times over. Do you think you will ever tire of your setting?

 

[tyty333]

I'm with you ihy138. I've got an OEC that I'm looking to set in the future but I just dont know how to settle down on
just one design. There are parts of rings that I know I want to incorporate but not sure of the overall picture. I'm in
no hurry so I think (hope) with time I will figure out more of what I want so when I do have it made it will be a "forever"
setting. In the meantime I'm contemplating putting in an inexpensive temp setting just so I can enjoy it and hopefully
have it "speak" to me as to what kind of setting it would like to be in .

So...to answer your question "How do you choose a setting?" I don't know! When you find the answer, please post!

 

[dk168]

Not really, however, it has taken me 10 years before I finally got round to re-setting my EC diamond in its forever home, and had plenty of time to decide on the setting, which is an air line/gap diamond halo with a plain shank.

DK

Your ring is gorgeous! I think 10 years is enough time for me to change my mind a few times over. Do you think you will ever tire of your setting?

Thanks for the kind words.

There is another setting that I like by Brilliantly Engaged, however, I doubt if I would re-set again, as I love it as it is. Perhaps I would get an EC CS such as a pink sapphire, and have it set in that setting one day.

DK

 

[ihy138]

I'm with you ihy138. I've got an OEC that I'm looking to set in the future but I just dont know how to settle down on
just one design. There are parts of rings that I know I want to incorporate but not sure of the overall picture. I'm in
no hurry so I think (hope) with time I will figure out more of what I want so when I do have it made it will be a "forever"
setting. In the meantime I'm contemplating putting in an inexpensive temp setting just so I can enjoy it and hopefully
have it "speak" to me as to what kind of setting it would like to be in .

So...to answer your question "How do you choose a setting?" I don't know! When you find the answer, please post!

That's a great idea. Set it so you can enjoy it right away, even if it isn't permanent. Its a shame to let a stone sit in a box waiting to be loved! My problem is that EVERYTHING "speaks" to me. I want one of every ring I see. First world problem, I know.

 

[arkieb1]

Buy a couple of nice not too expensive coloured stones and live out your setting ideas via them creating right hand rings, or put a coloured stone into your halo and re-home your diamond in a setting you are happy with.

 

[junebug17]

I think seeing all the beautiful options here on PS can contribute to second-guessing when a choice has been made, or confusion when choosing a setting. We're exposed to many gorgeous settings here and I can get how it's tough to pick just one! I can't really answer how I decided on the setting I did…I guess I just thought it was pretty, it was in budget, and I decided I wanted a halo. I didn't really think too much about it being a "forever" setting so maybe that took some of the angst out of it. And I figured I had to make a choice eventually! At some point you just have to pick something lol. I don't know, I'm tempted sometimes to try something new, but I don't think I will. I still really like the setting I have now.

I get a little bored sometimes so I'll rotate rings for a while, or I won't wear a ring for a few days, and when I put my ering back on I appreciate it more and think "ooh pretty". I've been drawn to colored stones lately and I think I will go that route to try a different style of setting.

 

[Calliecake]

I'm with you ihy138. I've got an OEC that I'm looking to set in the future but I just dont know how to settle down on
just one design. There are parts of rings that I know I want to incorporate but not sure of the overall picture. I'm in
no hurry so I think (hope) with time I will figure out more of what I want so when I do have it made it will be a "forever"
setting. In the meantime I'm contemplating putting in an inexpensive temp setting just so I can enjoy it and hopefully
have it "speak" to me as to what kind of setting it would like to be in .

So...to answer your question "How do you choose a setting?" I don't know! When you find the answer, please post!

That's a great idea. Set it so you can enjoy it right away, even if it isn't permanent. Its a shame to let a stone sit in a box waiting to be loved! My problem is that EVERYTHING "speaks" to me. I want one of every ring I see. First world problem, I know.

I think many peoples taste in settings change over the years. That being said I also think it is much easier to chose a setting before finding Pricescope. There are so many beautiful settings on this site. I think many of us here feel the way you do Ihy138. You really can drive yourself crazy trying to pick one.

 

[kmarla]

You're not alone ihy138. I have the same issue and really struggle in choosing a permanent setting. I was always a solitaire girl until the last five years or so when I fell in love with halos. I have changed settings several times over 30 years and just accept that I'm the kind of person that needs to change things up every so often. I still have all my older settings though because I'm also sentimental and they all have memories for me, even if it's not very practical to keep them. I had a terrible time deciding on a setting for my new diamond a few months ago and I went back and forth between halo and solitaire for ages. I was making myself crazy with indecision. I finally decided on a halo 3 stone (centre stone halo only), something I've never had before and I just love it. It isn't anything like I was thinking in the beginning but it just feels right. It's almost a blend of the two styles I was struggling over. Ten years from now I might think differently but I'm very happy for now and have no regrets. I wish you the best in making your decision and I'm sure it will be beautiful whatever you choose!

 

[nala]

With as many setting changes that I have had, you would think that I would have words of wisdom for you. But I don't. I will however, try to rationalize my behavior. First, I tend to get caught up in the moment. So anytime I make the choice to walk into my jewelers' ( I have quite a few), anything is fair game. That's my first mistake. After I set my eyes on what I believe will be the next setting thatvwill make me happier, never the forever setting, mind you, I pull the trigger. Why? Bc in not to heavily invested in the actual setting that I am wearing. The irony is that I could have paid for a Victor Canera by now with all the money I have spent on settings. But since I have been doing it gradually, as nd each time I get a new rush and a few months of novelty, I don't view the spending as exorbitant. I keep telling myself that looking at my ring brings me so much joy and that I do it so much, the cost is worth it. I hope you don't get yourself started on this cycle. I wish I knew what to tell you to avoid it. I will say that my e ring is the only object I switch up. I don't have that issue with my smart phone, my laptop, my house or my furniture. I'm going on a 3 year record with my car and hope to run it to the ground, for once. Anyhow, if it helps, I wish I would have kept my halo! DSS is bad for me know! Please share a picture of your ring!

 

[ihy138]

Buy a couple of nice not too expensive coloured stones and live out your setting ideas via them creating right hand rings, or put a coloured stone into your halo and re-home your diamond in a setting you are happy with.

Thanks for the ideas! I had considered still using my halo for a colored stone. I sometimes think about selling it to help fund the new setting as well. I'm not very sentimental I guess.

 

[ihy138]

I think seeing all the beautiful options here on PS can contribute to second-guessing when a choice has been made, or confusion when choosing a setting. We're exposed to many gorgeous settings here and I can get how it's tough to pick just one! I can't really answer how I decided on the setting I did…I guess I just thought it was pretty, it was in budget, and I decided I wanted a halo. I didn't really think too much about it being a "forever" setting so maybe that took some of the angst out of it. And I figured I had to make a choice eventually! At some point you just have to pick something lol. I don't know, I'm tempted sometimes to try something new, but I don't think I will. I still really like the setting I have now.

I get a little bored sometimes so I'll rotate rings for a while, or I won't wear a ring for a few days, and when I put my ering back on I appreciate it more and think "ooh pretty". I've been drawn to colored stones lately and I think I will go that route to try a different style of setting.

I so agree with you on seeing all the beautiful rings on PS. Although I admire them all, I covet a lot of them as well. You're right, though. You can't have EVERYTHING, and eventually have to commit to something lol. I committed to a person, but this seems much harder. I like your idea about rotating rings. When I don't see my ER for like a week, I see it and realize that I do really like it and it actually looks bigger.

Calliecake - Crazy is right! Thank you for validating how I feel. Sometimes I think I'm silly.

 

[ihy138]

You're not alone ihy138. I have the same issue and really struggle in choosing a permanent setting. I was always a solitaire girl until the last five years or so when I fell in love with halos. I have changed settings several times over 30 years and just accept that I'm the kind of person that needs to change things up every so often. I still have all my older settings though because I'm also sentimental and they all have memories for me, even if it's not very practical to keep them. I had a terrible time deciding on a setting for my new diamond a few months ago and I went back and forth between halo and solitaire for ages. I was making myself crazy with indecision. I finally decided on a halo 3 stone (centre stone halo only), something I've never had before and I just love it. It isn't anything like I was thinking in the beginning but it just feels right. It's almost a blend of the two styles I was struggling over. Ten years from now I might think differently but I'm very happy for now and have no regrets. I wish you the best in making your decision and I'm sure it will be beautiful whatever you choose!

Several times over 30 years seems pretty reasonable to me (with the fact that I'm a PSer in mind). My local jeweler told me that most settings if worn daily probably won't hold up for a lifetime. I don't know how true that is. Do you keep the older settings with no stone in them or do you repurpose them? I'm glad you love your new setting! I'd love to see a picture!

 

[missy]

Ihy, don't feel badly or stressed. It's OK not to keep a setting for a lifetime and if you can afford to change it up whenever you want that's OK. Take the pressure off yourself and don't think of it as a permanent setting forever. It is normal for tastes to change and there is nothing wrong with resetting if you can afford it. That's what birthdays and anniversaries and other special occasions are made for LOL. Enjoy!

 

[ihy138]

With as many setting changes that I have had, you would think that I would have words of wisdom for you. But I don't. I will however, try to rationalize my behavior. First, I tend to get caught up in the moment. So anytime I make the choice to walk into my jewelers' ( I have quite a few), anything is fair game. That's my first mistake. After I set my eyes on what I believe will be the next setting thatvwill make me happier, never the forever setting, mind you, I pull the trigger. Why? Bc in not to heavily invested in the actual setting that I am wearing. The irony is that I could have paid for a Victor Canera by now with all the money I have spent on settings. But since I have been doing it gradually, as nd each time I get a new rush and a few months of novelty, I don't view the spending as exorbitant. I keep telling myself that looking at my ring brings me so much joy and that I do it so much, the cost is worth it. I hope you don't get yourself started on this cycle. I wish I knew what to tell you to avoid it. I will say that my e ring is the only object I switch up. I don't have that issue with my smart phone, my laptop, my house or my furniture. I'm going on a 3 year record with my car and hope to run it to the ground, for once. Anyhow, if it helps, I wish I would have kept my halo! DSS is bad for me know! Please share a picture of your ring!

I really appreciate your input. I also get caught up in the right now. I tend to rush setting decisions and then see something I like more after its done and obsess about the fact that I made the "wrong" decision, which makes me like the item less. Instead of doing resets, I just get ANOTHER ring to satisfy whatever need it is that has come up for me. As you said, if I just went for what I really wanted (whatever that is) it would be cheaper.I'm trying to learn to be happy with what I have. I think I'm in the cycle you describe. I also buy things that I like in the moment and then get bored of them, and sell them off. I guess it's healthier than keeping things I don't like. Don't get me wrong, I love a halo! Some of the designs I'm looking at are also halos, just more unique and different than what I have. There's a few things I don't like about my current setting that I would like to change at the very least. Here's a pic of my engagement ring in my new Mrs. Box.

 

[ihy138]

Ihy, don't feel badly or stressed. It's OK not to keep a setting for a lifetime and if you can afford to change it up whenever you want that's OK. Take the pressure off yourself and don't think of it as a permanent setting forever. It is normal for tastes to change and there is nothing wrong with resetting if you can afford it. That's what birthdays and anniversaries and other special occasions are made for LOL. Enjoy!

Lol thank you for your sage advice! You're right, I should be having fun with this! Maybe I should take a break from searching for a bit until I can enjoy it.

 

[katharath]

My tastes are constantly evolving too. I don't do diamonds (my original ering was a diamond), but I quit wearing it after 4 years and switched to a five stone diamond band.

Then I quit wearing THAT after two years. For a good 7 years or so I wore no rings at all! My husband doesn't wear his band either, it's just how he is (he switched to a new job two years after we got married where he cannot wear any rings due to safety reasons. He's been there almost 14 years now, and he slowly just quit wearing his ring altogether. It's fine by me bc I'm not conventional with my ring wearing, either

So. After the 7 years of no ring - that's when I "discovered" CS. I realized that the reason I quit wearing my diamonds is that they just didn't do it for me. CS from the mall, basic commercial quality heavily treated crap gems didn't really do it for me either...it wasn't until I discovered "rarer" CS - blue and green garnets, yellow and true blue untreated Ceylon sapphires, and spinels of multiple colors - that I realized what I really loved.

But that didn't stop me from wanting to change out my ering all the time, lol. I now have quite a few "erings" that I mix and match with interesting gold bands, and I switch them up and wear different ones depending on my mood. They are all CS. I love them and have several more waiting to be set...ok more like 10 waiting to be set...

One thing that does help is having fun bands to pair the "erings" with. Then I can switch up the look even more frequently without feeling like I need yet another ering.

Also I try to really consider new purchases by thinking, do I have something just like this already? Will this get worn? For example, I collect pink/red mahenge and Burmese spinels obsessively. I've set and sold and set new pieces quite a few times, plus bought a ton of loose gems and then sold many without ever setting them. It's one of my obsessions. But now that I have a pink/red spinel piece in almost every category - for example, stud earrings; dangly earrings; solitaire style ring; three stone ring; halo style ring; stacker type ring - I *almost* feel like I can stop! Believe me, I know that sounds nuts. But I need to make an eternity style ring (already have the gems) and maybe a pendant (would need to buy gems; maybe have enough but not sure) - and hopefully THEN maybe I can quit?? .

I've been doing this for a few years now (since before I started my PS account, so I'd say maybe 3.5 years?) and I don't ever seem to be *truly* satisfied with one ring. It's just not going to happen for me. I just accept it, try to keep myself in control when possible, and I resell a lot out of my collection when I upgrade to a "better" gem, so I try to use that money to help fund new things.

I just took pics (about two days ago) of my pink red spinel family of set gems, I'll include them here for fun.

I can't really imagine that my post was actually helpful, but at least I can commiserate

 

[Dancing Fire]

I am finding that my taste in ring settings changes pretty much monthly. I have a halo engagement ring, and am considering a reset because I'm a little bored with it (and halos are EVERYWHERE now). I can't see how I will ever choose a setting that will be my favorite forever. Anyone else feel like this? How do you choose a setting if so?

Very normal for most women. They flush at least one setting down the toilet every yr...

 

[minousbijoux]

I am finding that my taste in ring settings changes pretty much monthly. I have a halo engagement ring, and am considering a reset because I'm a little bored with it (and halos are EVERYWHERE now). I can't see how I will ever choose a setting that will be my favorite forever. Anyone else feel like this? How do you choose a setting if so?

Yep, this is pretty much me as well. For me, its not limited to settings, but also the qualities in the stones that I covet. How do I deal with it? I have a bunch of stones that I bought and set early on. Some I still love, most I do not. Now, I rarely buy new stones. My rule of thumb is that if there is something I see that I cannot stop thinking about, then I will seriously think about acquiring it or, in the case of a setting, having one made for me. But I wait and think on it. Sometimes, even as I think about it, my ideas start evolving away from it. If they don't, then I know I'm on to something. Like many PSers, I have an inspiration folder. I've not ever cleaned it out, so its funny to look through it and see what I used to dream about it - boy have my desires changed over time!

 

[baby monster]

Like many PSers, I have an inspiration folder. I've not ever cleaned it out, so its funny to look through it and see what I used to dream about it - boy have my desires changed over time!

I do the same thing! One of the very first settings that I saved down back in 2007 when I first joined PS is the setting I chose last year for my MRB. The rest didn't survive the test of time. They're fun to look at and I actually have some of them in costume jewelry. I wear them once in a while but they're not for me as the real deal.

So as far as original question, my solution has been to buy the closest thing in cz and wear the design for a while before deciding whether it's the one.

 

[yennyfire]

For me, it was kind of like finding my DH....when you know, you just know. Now, that doesn't mean that when some gorgeous new stone/setting pop up (for example, asschergirl's antique emerald in a Sebastian Barrier setting) I don't contemplate selling either my 3 stone or my oval, but when I truly picture parting with either one, I get a pang in my stomach and I know I couldn't do it.

These are my forever rings....if sometime down the road (i.e. 15 years from now when the kids are through college) we have $$ to spare and I spy an antique emerald, I will POUNCE!!

 

[ihy138]

My tastes are constantly evolving too. I don't do diamonds (my original ering was a diamond), but I quit wearing it after 4 years and switched to a five stone diamond band.

Then I quit wearing THAT after two years. For a good 7 years or so I wore no rings at all! My husband doesn't wear his band either, it's just how he is (he switched to a new job two years after we got married where he cannot wear any rings due to safety reasons. He's been there almost 14 years now, and he slowly just quit wearing his ring altogether. It's fine by me bc I'm not conventional with my ring wearing, either

So. After the 7 years of no ring - that's when I "discovered" CS. I realized that the reason I quit wearing my diamonds is that they just didn't do it for me. CS from the mall, basic commercial quality heavily treated crap gems didn't really do it for me either...it wasn't until I discovered "rarer" CS - blue and green garnets, yellow and true blue untreated Ceylon sapphires, and spinels of multiple colors - that I realized what I really loved.

But that didn't stop me from wanting to change out my ering all the time, lol. I now have quite a few "erings" that I mix and match with interesting gold bands, and I switch them up and wear different ones depending on my mood. They are all CS. I love them and have several more waiting to be set...ok more like 10 waiting to be set...

One thing that does help is having fun bands to pair the "erings" with. Then I can switch up the look even more frequently without feeling like I need yet another ering.

Also I try to really consider new purchases by thinking, do I have something just like this already? Will this get worn? For example, I collect pink/red mahenge and Burmese spinels obsessively. I've set and sold and set new pieces quite a few times, plus bought a ton of loose gems and then sold many without ever setting them. It's one of my obsessions. But now that I have a pink/red spinel piece in almost every category - for example, stud earrings; dangly earrings; solitaire style ring; three stone ring; halo style ring; stacker type ring - I *almost* feel like I can stop! Believe me, I know that sounds nuts. But I need to make an eternity style ring (already have the gems) and maybe a pendant (would need to buy gems; maybe have enough but not sure) - and hopefully THEN maybe I can quit?? .

I've been doing this for a few years now (since before I started my PS account, so I'd say maybe 3.5 years?) and I don't ever seem to be *truly* satisfied with one ring. It's just not going to happen for me. I just accept it, try to keep myself in control when possible, and I resell a lot out of my collection when I upgrade to a "better" gem, so I try to use that money to help fund new things.

I just took pics (about two days ago) of my pink red spinel family of set gems, I'll include them here for fun.

I can't really imagine that my post was actually helpful, but at least I can commiserate

Actually, this was quite helpful, particularly the parts in bold! I have to be wise about new purchases and/or custom projects in the way that you describe. What comes with that is knowing your tastes, what makes you happy, and learning from past mistaken purchases. Even pieces I sell off I look at as learning experiences. Also, maybe I need to accept that tastes change and I probably won't ever find that ONE ring to rule them all. BTW, Your collection is beautiful!

 

[ihy138]

I am finding that my taste in ring settings changes pretty much monthly. I have a halo engagement ring, and am considering a reset because I'm a little bored with it (and halos are EVERYWHERE now). I can't see how I will ever choose a setting that will be my favorite forever. Anyone else feel like this? How do you choose a setting if so?

Very normal for most women. They flush at least one setting down the toilet every yr...

Down the toilet?! Maybe down to the pre-loved forum!

 

[ihy138]

I am finding that my taste in ring settings changes pretty much monthly. I have a halo engagement ring, and am considering a reset because I'm a little bored with it (and halos are EVERYWHERE now). I can't see how I will ever choose a setting that will be my favorite forever. Anyone else feel like this? How do you choose a setting if so?

Yep, this is pretty much me as well. For me, its not limited to settings, but also the qualities in the stones that I covet. How do I deal with it? I have a bunch of stones that I bought and set early on. Some I still love, most I do not. Now, I rarely buy new stones. My rule of thumb is that if there is something I see that I cannot stop thinking about, then I will seriously think about acquiring it or, in the case of a setting, having one made for me. But I wait and think on it. Sometimes, even as I think about it, my ideas start evolving away from it. If they don't, then I know I'm on to something. Like many PSers, I have an inspiration folder. I've not ever cleaned it out, so its funny to look through it and see what I used to dream about it - boy have my desires changed over time!

Ah, yes. The inspiration folder! I clean it out every few months, which just reminds me how flakey I can be. I like you're idea about giving yourself time to let your ideas either evolve or strengthen. I have been selling off a number of things that I purchased without really thinking about. As soon as I don't get joy from it, I sell it off!

 

[ihy138]

For me, it was kind of like finding my DH....when you know, you just know. Now, that doesn't mean that when some gorgeous new stone/setting pop up (for example, asschergirl's antique emerald in a Sebastian Barrier setting) I don't contemplate selling either my 3 stone or my oval, but when I truly picture parting with either one, I get a pang in my stomach and I know I couldn't do it.

These are my forever rings....if sometime down the road (i.e. 15 years from now when the kids are through college) we have $$ to spare and I spy an antique emerald, I will POUNCE!!

With a ring like yours, yennyfire, I might stop looking! . I felt that way when I got my engagement ring, but I have learned so much since then that there are things I would like to change. Good thing I still feel the same way about DH!

 

[katharath]

Ihy138 - I'm so glad that you found something of interest in my post! And thank you for the very nice compliment