how much money to send?

[TooPatient]

DH and I talked more today about how to do this. We really like the idea of a card so she isn't stuck with a wad of paper money to keep track of and sort through. A PIN is a must so that it has some security and we can cancel if she loses it. Something to carry it in her front pocket securely but discreetly.

Right now, our plan is to set up an account for her at the bank. We will both be on the account so we can add money and monitor, but she'll be on the account and have a debit card. NO overdraft so she has a fixed amount.
We'll add some amount before she goes (I'll see if I can find out what others are doing) and she has that to get what she wants.

She's having enough trouble losing stuff that we don't feel good handing her cash but we have been wanting her to get practice working with a budget and managing a bit of money. We'll see how she does with this and then consider adding some amount every month so that she has a bit of her own money to do what she wants (within reason). I've been talking with her about choices and how you can buy lots of little things or hold on to money and wait to buy something nicer.

This also lets us have something in place that she can take on the other trips through the year too.


Plus:
Reminder of checking that pants have pockets.
How to not buy something so huge it can't get home.
Don't spend it all on the 1st day.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I would give her some cash, too, because there will be things like getting snacks or drinks where it is just easier to have dollar bills. Also, I agree with the wallet in the back pocket problem. Plus a wallet is just something else she can use. Our girls used cross body bags when we went to Disney World and that is what I prefer myself when I travel. I can get things in and out but I am never putting it down and risking losing it. I might allow $100 for souvenirs and another $50 for extra drinks and snacks for 3-4 days.

A lot of kids around here carry either the Dooney and Bourke or Michael Kors. There are more expensive ones, but these are not too bad.

http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/dooney-bourke-handbag-nylon-triple-zip-crossbody-bag?ID=1251855&CategoryID=46011&LinkType=#fn=BRAND%3DMichael%20Kors%3B%3BDooney%20%26amp%3B%20Bourke%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D86%26ruleId%3D65%26slotId%3D9

http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/michael-michael-kors-handbag-kempton-crossbody?ID=1278900&CategoryID=46011&LinkType=#fn=BRAND%3DMichael%20Kors%3B%3BDooney%20%26amp%3B%20Bourke%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D86%26ruleId%3D65%26slotId%3D14

http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/dooney-bourke-handbag-nylon-triple-zip-crossbody-bag?ID=416140&CategoryID=46011&LinkType=#fn=BRAND%3DMichael%20Kors%3B%3BDooney%20%26amp%3B%20Bourke%26sp%3D3%26spc%3D86%26ruleId%3D65%26slotId%3D86

 

[TooPatient]

Diamondseeker -- Thanks! I'll show her some of these too and see if she'd like something like that. I was thinking something like this but she specifically said she didn't want anything bigger than a pocket-sized wallet. She and I need to talk a bit more about such things as I think she may find it nice to have a place to keep feminine products and other personal stuff too. I don't want to force her into such a thing but she may actually like them if she tries some. Hmmm.... Maybe a trip for her to see some in person is in order!

Forgot to list cash!
Definitely sending a little cash for places that don't take cards or where cash is easier.

 

[monarch64]

I would send her with:

Slim SLASHPROOF crossbody bag, tiny travel wallet (look for a silk or nylon http://shop.eaglecreek.com/silk-undercover-bra-stash/d/1125)

http://pacsafe.com/products

$100 cash, denominations of $80--twenties, $10--fives, $10--ones

$100 loaded on a Visa or AmEx card.

I agree with talking to her about bringing home sizeable objects that might not fit in her luggage. A giant stuffed toy won at a game or purchased, for example, would be obtrusive!

ETA: just read Gypsy's post below. Yeah, I wouldn't worry about getting her a Coach bag or Michael Kors or Marc Jacobs. I would get her something utilitarian and practical (see my above suggestions/links) and not even worry about it. She can earn a sought-after brand-name bag by doing chores around your home/property this summer and that will be part of learning budgeting.

 

[Gypsy]

Getting a nicer brand for a teenager...

Here's my thoughts, for what they are worth.

I think there are several types of kids when it comes to nice brand names. Here are the two I am thinking of:

Kids that are used to them and expect them, and don't really value them as the upgrades that they are. There's a sense of entitlement that... of course they get a Dooney or a Michael Kors, that's the type of item they are used to. In that case, I wouldn't spend the extra money on the nicer brand? I'd go for the Target or the Fossil brand?
Why? Because you said she has a track record of losing these things. So I'd want to start her off with a cheaper item, and if she proves herself then she gets the upgrade later, after she's managed to hold onto this one for 6 months. That way if she does lose it, it's a cheap item.

Then there are kids don't always get the nicer brand, sometimes they do, but a lot of time they don't. And when they get something that is a Dooney or a Michael Kors, they really value it. They keep it in the case or bag. Put it in a special place in their room-- ALWAYS, and make sure that they care for it and keep track of it. If that's your kid, getting the nicer brand from the get go might be a good idea. It will reinforce for her that this is a special item-- not just because of what's in it (cards and money) but because the item itself is nice and if she loses it she won't get one as nice again.

When I was a kid lost a lot of things, I was very inattentive but I (still am) was one of the later. When I got a brand name thing, I put it on a pedestal. I lost brand name things VERY seldom. Because I knew I was inattentive and I made sure that when something was special, I paid attention to it.

 

[TooPatient]

I would send her with:

Slim SLASHPROOF crossbody bag, tiny travel wallet (look for a silk or nylon http://shop.eaglecreek.com/silk-undercover-bra-stash/d/1125)

http://pacsafe.com/products

$100 cash, denominations of $80--twenties, $10--fives, $10--ones

$100 loaded on a Visa or AmEx card.

I agree with talking to her about bringing home sizeable objects that might not fit in her luggage. A giant stuffed toy won at a game or purchased, for example, would be obtrusive!

ETA: just read Gypsy's post below. Yeah, I wouldn't worry about getting her a Coach bag or Michael Kors or Marc Jacobs. I would get her something utilitarian and practical (see my above suggestions/links) and not even worry about it. She can earn a sought-after brand-name bag by doing chores around your home/property this summer and that will be part of learning budgeting.

Love the bra-strap pouch! What a great idea for the must-have stuff in the event of a loss or theft.

Chores over summer and working towards something is part of our plans! She's had too much just handed to her in the past (and too much withheld too so that is a trick to balance!) so learning to value things is a big thing.

 

[TooPatient]

Getting a nicer brand for a teenager...

Here's my thoughts, for what they are worth.

I think there are several types of kids when it comes to nice brand names. Here are the two I am thinking of:

Kids that are used to them and expect them, and don't really value them as the upgrades that they are. There's a sense of entitlement that... of course they get a Dooney or a Michael Kors, that's the type of item they are used to. In that case, I wouldn't spend the extra money on the nicer brand? I'd go for the Target or the Fossil brand?
Why? Because you said she has a track record of losing these things. So I'd want to start her off with a cheaper item, and if she proves herself then she gets the upgrade later, after she's managed to hold onto this one for 6 months. That way if she does lose it, it's a cheap item.

Then there are kids don't always get the nicer brand, sometimes they do, but a lot of time they don't. And when they get something that is a Dooney or a Michael Kors, they really value it. They keep it in the case or bag. Put it in a special place in their room-- ALWAYS, and make sure that they care for it and keep track of it. If that's your kid, getting the nicer brand from the get go might be a good idea. It will reinforce for her that this is a special item-- not just because of what's in it (cards and money) but because the item itself is nice and if she loses it she won't get one as nice again.

When I was a kid lost a lot of things, I was very inattentive but I (still am) was one of the later. When I got a brand name thing, I put it on a pedestal. I lost brand name things VERY seldom. Because I knew I was inattentive and I made sure that when something was special, I paid attention to it.

Great insight into the two sides of name-brands for teens!

I was part of that second group too. Very rarely had anything new and even less often something new and name brand. I took very good care of what I did get because it was special.

"A" is an odd combination. Her mother gave her way too much name brand stuff at the same time as not nearly enough stuff. She was the kid who walked around filthy in torn up clothing that didn't fit but then showed up with name-brand everything. Lots of ups and downs and uncertainty in her life. She is (finally!) starting to understand that the stuff we buy is high quality but NOT name brand (most of the time - some splurges as treats) and that is okay. She has everything she needs and then some. BUT there is still some of that I "deserve" this or that and you HAVE to get it for me.

I like the idea of her working towards a goal and then getting the nice item. She doesn't understand what it takes to find something and work for it -- including choosing to not have some things in order to save -- so has very little appreciation for material stuff.
We don't want her to value money and material stuff above the important things in life, but we do want her to be able to appreciate them and use them wisely.


Oh!
Exciting thing today was that she got her plaque for finishing level J in her tutoring center's reading program! She is very proud of this and was excited to pick it up today!
(they are SOOOooo slow -- she finished in October and is now done with the ENTIRE reading program and waiting for her engraved clock)

 

[Lady_Disdain]

What do you think are reasonable souvenirs for her to bring back? I would figure that out and add in about $5-10/day for extra food, beverages and incidentals. For example, I would expect a teenager to want a sweater, Mouse ears (if her friends are also into these, specially for the photo opportunities) and maybe a couple of magnets, key rings or other small things. She might prefer a stuffed animal or other items but prices should be easy to find online.

Then, I would sit down with her, show her what the money can buy her, warn her that small purchases add up quickly and that recklessly spending in the first couple of days might leave her without enough money to get the large item she really wants. I would also resist the temptation of sending her more money if she spends it all, unless there is a good reason and she could convince me ("we are going to discount outlet and I can get cheaper clothing" - great but it will come out of your school clothes budget).

Yeah, I am mean.

 

[TooPatient]

What do you think are reasonable souvenirs for her to bring back? I would figure that out and add in about $5-10/day for extra food, beverages and incidentals. For example, I would expect a teenager to want a sweater, Mouse ears (if her friends are also into these, specially for the photo opportunities) and maybe a couple of magnets, key rings or other small things. She might prefer a stuffed animal or other items but prices should be easy to find online.

Then, I would sit down with her, show her what the money can buy her, warn her that small purchases add up quickly and that recklessly spending in the first couple of days might leave her without enough money to get the large item she really wants. I would also resist the temptation of sending her more money if she spends it all, unless there is a good reason and she could convince me ("we are going to discount outlet and I can get cheaper clothing" - great but it will come out of your school clothes budget).

Yeah, I am mean.

That is sort of what I've been doing. She loves sweatshirts. Probably a couple of magnets. Maybe a bracelet. Probably not the ears but if all the other girls are doing them she would want to also. She also like pajamas so I'm looking at that sort of thing too.

I like the idea of having her sit down and look before going too! Letting her see what sort of stuff is there is great so she can have an idea what she's looking for and not end up with piles of little stuff but also not end up looking for just the right thing and coming home with nothing as she passes everything up in hopes of something "better" to come.

With her mother doing what she does, it would take a LOT of convincing to get me to add more. Her mom likes to get her a $20 gift card to places where that won't buy anything and then take her shopping and add a bunch extra as they go. (so the $20 is like a "Hey, let's go shopping!" placeholder)

Not "mean" -- realistic!
DH and I both feel strongly that a teenager needs to learn the skills to be successful at life and part of that is having and using a budget. If you want more of X you'll have to give up some of Y.

 

[blackprophet]

I'm going to put in a vote for the cash.

If she loses the card, her money for the whole trip is gone.

If she has cash she can hide some in her bag, or put it in the hotel safe (is she staying in a hotel?) and only take a certain amount with her each day, coresponding to where she is going, and the items she researched before hand as you said you might do.
This will enhance the budgeting lesson, but will also protect against a total loss.

I see the advantages of the card, but this is my preference.

Also, an added measure of protection is to keep your hand in the pocket with the wallet, when in the crowded places. I usually do that while travelling.

 

[rosetta]

I use an anti theft bag when travelling. Perhaps a something thing similar would suit you?

http://pacsafe.com/citysafe-100-gii-anti-theft-handbag

I don't keep anything in my pockets as pickpockets are very, very good in crowded areas.